"That's enough!" My dad boomed. My mom jumped and even I was a little startled.
"Thank
god
I have some confidence in myself, because if I had to depend on my own mother I would be in sore shape." I said bitterly and
stormed out of the kitchen.
Later that night when I met Kyle for ice-cream, I was stil fuming from my mom's idiocy, and at the same time I was trying to think of a way to tel
him I was going away with Luke.
"You're quiet," Kyle said, looking at me careful y. "What's up?"
"Nothing," I said quickly. I was tapping my spoon on the table instead of digging into my sundae, and under the table my leg bounced.
"You're quietly freaking out, I can tel . What's going on?"
"You mean in addition to this four way love story?" I asked, irritated.
"Forget it." He said, tossing his own spoon down.
"Don't ask me stupid questions."
"Whatever. Are we done here?"
I put my spoon down as a response. Kyle rol ed his eyes as he pul ed out his wal et. He threw some cash on the table and we left the ice-cream
there to melt.
I don't know what my problem was. I was so distracted by the current events of my life, I could not function correctly, even at work which I tried
hard to keep separate from my personal life. That wasn't an easy feat since one of my boyfriends was also my boss and the other one worked a few
floors down.
Monday morning after our failed ice-cream social, I stil wasn't real y in the mood to deal with Kyle. He wasn't much in the mood to speak to me
either judging by his extra dickness. I was even cranky with Luke, but he was too busy to real y care. "Go take a nap," he had teased. Yeah, like a
nap would solve al of my problems.
My sulkiness came to a head that Thursday. I had been taking constant bul from my mom al week and even though Kyle attempted to make up
with me, I couldn't get my shit together. Luke was giving me a hard time because I stil had not asked for time off and our trip to Chicago was less
than a week away.
"Just forget about it," he had said, not real y trying hard to hide his anger. We were in the elevator on our way into work.
"I'm sorry, okay? I've been distracted."
"Clearly! For once, I want you to focus on me and not…" For a half a second, I thought he was going to say Kyle's name. "Forget it." He glared at me for a moment and then stepped off of the elevator and didn't look back before the doors slid shut.
I was thinking about that and other things while I stood at the shredder, shredding a pile of documents.
"What are you doing?" Kyle said, suddenly at my side. "Please tel me that's not the Carlton-Lauglin paperwork."
"What?" I stared at him. "You told me to get rid of it."
"I said to get rid of the Happerson documents!" He yel ed. "Why would I tel you to destroy documents of our biggest current client?"
We were in a smal room away from the main office, but I was sure someone probably overheard.
Kyle opened the door to the shredder and picked up a pile of shredded paper and held it before me.
"This deal was about to close and you have single handedly set it back by weeks, and that's if they don't back out again or try to change shit
because there's no paperwork for them to sign
tomorrow
!"
"I'm sorry," I said stupidly, but then blinked out of my stupor. "I stil have it backed up on a few cds."
"How long is it going to take you to get al of that shit together again, Emmy?" He threw the shredded paper into a trash can and walked out of
the room.
I took the rest of the file and after a few deep breaths went to my desk. Looking through the cds I realized that it
was
going to take a while. I
delegated my daily responsibilities to a few other people in the office and gathered the cds and the rest of my things. I would get more done in one
of the private offices reserved for traveling associates. I wouldn't be disturbed by anyone and I would have more work space.
After closing the door to the available office I found on the next floor down, I let myself cry for a moment, but only a moment because I had a lot
of work to do. I worked through lunch, through the afternoon and evening. Eliza brought me some dinner, but didn't stay and distract me. No one else
came by or texted or cal ed, which was sad, but I was too busy to worry about it.
Somehow I had pushed myself to stay up al night and work. When I final y finished, it was a little after ten in the morning. I looked like hel , I knew
it. My dress was wrinkled and looked sloppy on me. My hair was tangled, my eyes were bloodshot, and I needed a shower. I walked into Kyle's
office and put the time sensitive documents in front of him.
He looked at me and then at the stack of files.
"I'm taking a vacation, starting now." I said tiredly. "Eliza is perfectly capable of doing my job while I am gone."
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I agree you need some time off, but what is going on with you?" He was asking as my boss, not my boyfriend.
"I'm just distracted. I'l feel better when I get back."
He got up from his desk and closed the door. He came and stood in front of me, but didn't touch me.
"You worked on that al day and night?" He nodded at the files.
"Of course I did. It was my fault."
He reached out and rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand.
"I am sorry I yel ed at you." He said quietly.
I let him touch me for a moment, but then stepped back toward the door.
"It's fine. I was wrong. I need to get some sleep."
"Okay," he was obviously hurt by me pul ing away, and it real y pul ed at my own heart. "Are you just going to hang out with D or at home?
Maybe we can do something fun."
"Actual y..." I bit my lip.
His eyes widened and then narrowed. "You're doing something with Luke?"
"I'm going to Chicago with him for the week," I said careful y.
Kyle's face fel into a mil ion pieces. I couldn't stand to look at his face a second longer, so I opened the door and rushed to the elevator. I didn't
have time to consider Kyle's feelings or my own, because it was only seconds to Luke's floor.
I found him in his office, working so diligently he didn't look up when I walked in. He assumed I was his secretary Tracy.
"Not Tracy," I said, making him look up at me, surprised.
"Forgive me for saying so, but you look like crap."
"Forgiven and I agree. I worked al night in a spare office. Listen, I want to apologize," I started, but he cut me off as he stood up and came over
to me.
"No, I should be apologizing to you." He took my hands into his. "I shouldn't have talked to you that way."
"It's total y understandable. I came here to ask if it's too late to go with you Sunday."
He grinned and then gave me a slow kiss. When he released me, he said "I get to kiss your morning breath mouth every morning for a week."
I hugged him tight, but not so far back in my mind I thought about the expression on Kyle's face. I hoped he would be okay. Hel . I hoped I would
be okay.
We arrived in Chicago late in the afternoon. We checked into our hotel before heading to Luke's parent's house for a quiet dinner. I was
nervous about meeting his family and kept asking him questions like "What if they don't like my hair? What if they think it's too Jersey?" and "What if they don't like me?"
"They're going to love you," Luke had promised. "It's not like you to be so nervous."
"It's not every day I fly half way across the country to meet my boyfriend's family." I sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Maybe I'm just a little wound up from traveling. I get cranky when I travel."
He leaned over me, kissed my lips and whispered "Let me help you unwind."
I let him push me back on the bed as he kissed me. He pushed up my skirt and pul ed my panties down. I unbuttoned his jeans and pul ed them
down just enough to let his monstrous penis out. I guided him until he was inside of me.
Nothing like a quickie before we go off to meet the parents.
Grace Kessler baked an apple pie for my visit. I was flattered and fattened, because I think I ate more pie than anyone else. My mother was the
best cook and baker I knew, but even her pie couldn't compete with Mrs. Kessler's pie. I was in pie heaven.
"You real y like that pie," Luke whispered to me while his Mom poured us some coffee.
"If I had to choose between you and the pie…" I sighed and shook my head.
"I'd rather you choose pie over me rather than another guy," he said with a smile, but I saw a hint of something else in his eyes I couldn't place. It
made me uncomfortable for a little while.
Luke's mother was disappointed that we would not be staying in her home during our visit. Luke explained that there would be several late
nights for us and we didn't want to disturb them, but what he told me was slightly different.
"I don't want to be quiet when we're doing our thing," he had said, grabbing my ass.
Luke's sisters immediately treated me as part of the family. Lena, the oldest one, and the sister with cancer, handed me her baby within
moments of meeting me.
"I real y gotta pee and it's hard to pee holding a baby." She said and rushed off.
"She looks so healthy," I whispered to Luke.
"Yeah, wel you know, she won't always look that way."
Lena had the same light brown hair Luke had, and the same shocking blue eyes. She was a thick woman, boisterous looking and lively, like her
personality.
"You look good with that baby." Luke grinned.
I forced a smile. The baby, a little girl, wasn't even six months old yet and her mom had cancer. Lena also had two other smal children. I felt bad
for Lena's family. What would happen to them if she didn't make it? Her husband worked hard to keep them comfortable. How would he work and
take care of the family? No wonder Luke felt he needed to be here. I looked over at Luke and felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for him.
The other sister, Lorraine, had
six
kids of her own. Lorraine was pretty, but looked a little frazzled. I guess with six kids, anyone would look
frazzled. We had visited her first but didn't stay long. Four of the kids were sick and she was very busy. Besides, I definitely didn't want any kiddy
sicknesses.
Despite the health issues and other typical family drama, Luke's family was great. They were close and kind to one another, and even if they
did fight they made up quickly. His dad was a little boisterous, but made me laugh, and he real y appreciated and loved his only son. His mom
wasn't anything like my mom. She was meek and treated her children with dignity and they treated her the same way. It made me sad to not have a
very close relationship with my own siblings and to not have a mother who didn't think so lowly of me.
We didn't spend our entire time with his family. Luke took me out to museums and bars and to meet his friends. I had a much better time than I
ever expected. More importantly, I fit in wel with his life in Chicago. I felt at home immediately and I was sad to leave, especial y Lena who I connected with more than anyone.
As much as I knew I fit in with Luke and his life, on the flight home I couldn't stop thinking of Kyle. Throughout the week I had a gnawing ache for
him, but the ache only intensified the closer we got to home. I had not spoken to him since the night before I left. We met in a Wal-Mart parking lot
that was the half-way point between our homes. We stood a few feet apart, both of us feeling uneasy.
"Are you al packed?" He had asked, hands jammed into his pockets.
"Yeah. I never go anywhere anymore so it took me some time to get it right - at least I hope it's right."
He nodded and stared at the ground between us. I shifted from one foot to the other. I was stil on edge after everything that had happened that
week.
"Do you have to go?" He asked.
"I
want
to go, Kyle. You shouldn't make me feel guilty for it. That's real y not fair."
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Maybe we should..." I bit my lip and looked at the customers going in and out of the behemoth store, oblivious to us and our problems. I wished
I was oblivious.
"Maybe we should what?" He pushed. "What?"
"Maybe we should stop this." I said quietly, and it hurt to say it.
"Is that what you want?"
"What I want is apparently irrelevant, but maybe this is best."
We were quiet for a long time. Final y, he said "I don't want to make any decisions right now. I want you to go to Chicago and have a good
time."
I looked at him with suspicion, but he said it again. "I won't bother you while you're there and you don't have to feel obligated to contact me."
After more discussion, I agreed. He kissed and held me a long time that night.
***
waiting for me when I got into the lobby. At first I thought he was just that excited to see me, but the look on his face wasn't that of excitement.
"What's wrong?" I asked immediately.
"Jess. She just showed up minutes ago. She was supposed to be in the Hamptons."
"Okay," I said and started to leave.
"Wait. I can get rid of her I think or tel her I need to go to the office."
I sighed and rol ed my eyes. "I'm real y not in the mood for this tonight. I'm going home. I'l just see you at work on Monday."
"Em, wait." He grabbed my arm. "What about tomorrow?"
"I think I'm going to stay in and hang with my dad tomorrow." That wasn't my original plan, but I suddenly didn't feel much like talking to any other