America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 1: Feeling Lucky (14 page)

“
Your
surrender?” I asked.

“
Yes. It is rumored the
General Staff wants things settled before the Tenth Fleet arrives,”
added #2.

“
Don’t worry, it will be a
while,” I said.

“
Do you think the Federation
will impose harsh conditions if we surrender?” asked #2.

“
Not really,” I answered.
“Oh, we might hang a few spiders. We might change your form of
government to be more representative. Power to the people and all
that. And, we will can the Emperor.”

“
I think we could live with
that,” said #2. “I will pass that information on.”

“
After I’m released, I may
still need your services,” I said. “Do you know anything about
business law?”

“
I am expensive. Which
reminds me. Most of that one-million-credit judgment is gone
because of my percentage and expenses. It costs a lot to be flying
back and forth and having investigators gathering documentation
between here and the moon and New Colorado,” explained #2. “What
possible need do you have for a business lawyer?”

“
It figures you took most of
my money. Lawyers are the same on both our worlds. Anyway, I’m not
worried about that. What I want to do is set up an import/export
business here on Arthropoda. I need a business partner who can take
care of all the local permits, licenses, payoffs,
whatever.”

“
And what would you import
and export?” asked #2.

“
I have a lot of ideas on
that. To start with, Vodka, tobacco, coffee, and donuts I know
would sell big-time. Do you have any casinos on Arthropoda? No? You
will. I will see to that. How hard would it be to get Martian pot
through customs? The business opportunities are endless, and our
future looks bright,” I added.

CHAPTER 14

I slept through breakfast. At lunch time no
one showed up. I looked through the cell door window. No spider
guards could be seen. I yelled. No answer. I pounded and kicked the
door. No response. By afternoon I could hear gunshots and
explosions. Finally came the sound of boots in the hallway. A human
voice called out, “We are Americans. Somos norteamericanos. Stand
away from the door. We are setting a charge. Vuelva!” I scrambled
to cover myself with a mattress as an explosion blew open the cell
door.

Colonel McGee and Lopez – apparently promoted
to lieutenant – entered through the dust and smoke. Colonel McGee
tossed me a set of silver captain’s bars. “Your vacation is over,
Czerinski,” said Colonel McGee. “We have a lot of spider ass to
kick.”

“
The war is over,” I
responded. “I’m tired. I quit. Invite someone else to the
party.”

“
You are in charge of Bravo
Company. The whole First Division is securing strategic points
inside and around the spider capital. You will secure Capital
Square, the Imperial Palace, and the Emperor. When we hold the
advantage, more face-to-face negotiations will continue,” added
Colonel McGee.

“
Good to see you,” said
Lieutenant Lopez, shaking my remaining hand. “I thought for sure
the spiders would barbeque you on a spit and eat you for
dinner.”

“
He would taste bad, like
polish sausage,” added Sergeant Green.

“
Don’t POW’s get time off to
recover,” I asked the Colonel. “I’ve been through hell.”

“
You can rest when the Tenth
Fleet gets here,” said Colonel McGee, sarcastically. “First
Division is all there is to secure the whole planet. The spiders
formally surrendered, but not all the spiders have stopped
shooting.”

“
But there is no Tenth
Fleet,” I pointed out.

“
Exactly our problem,” said
Colonel McGee. “That is why we must quickly secure the capital,
capture the Emperor, and disarm the rest of the spiders before they
wise up and change their mind about surrender.”

I followed Colonel McGee upstairs into the
sunlight. Armored cars waited. My old platoon gathered around,
shaking my hand and giving salutes. We all climbed into the armored
cars and raced to the center of Arthropoda’s Capital City.

Spider regular army troops were confined to
their barracks under threat of nuclear bombardment from the Tenth
Fleet and Weapons Platform T. Roosevelt. Intelligentsia and State
Security troops were still armed and showing themselves in public.
Spider civilians swore at us and threw rocks as the convoy sped by.
Some spiders waived. An occasional bullet pinged off our armor. We
did not stop at red lights, causing several unlucky civilian
vehicles to be crunched along the way.

At Capital Square, Intelligentsia and
Security soldiers were deployed at the intersections and atop the
steps to the Imperial Palace. We smashed through the barricades and
deployed around the palace. A spider officer dressed in a black
Intelligentsia uniform confronted us over a public address system
that apparently had been fitted with a translator device just for
our benefit. But we didn’t need that anymore. In my absence, the
Legion had retrofitted all military helmet cameras with
back-engineered mini-translators so we could understand the
screeching and hissing the spiders used to communicate their
language. I had no trouble understanding the Nazi-looking spider
officer when he announced, “You may not enter the Imperial
Residence. Negotiations are ongoing as to the future status of the
Emperor. Back away to a respectful distance.”

“
The Emperor will surrender
now, or you will be nuked,” I yelled back.

“
You would not dare nuke the
Imperial Palace during ongoing negotiations,” said the spider
officer. “You had better consult your superiors.”

I looked to my rear. The
spiders were repairing the barricades. More spider soldiers were
arriving by truck. The spider officer atop the palace steps
confidently stood in front of his troops. I radioed to the T.
Roosevelt that I wanted the spiders at the intersections
bombed.
Now!
I
then ordered the machine gunners atop my armored cars to open fire
on the Imperial Palace. The spider officer went down first,
followed by his guards. Five hundred-pound bombs dropped from
space, hitting the spiders massing at the barricades. The massacre
was swift and complete. Bravo Company stormed the Imperial Palace
steps with a fixed bayonet charge. It was a beautiful sight,
recorded by our helmet video cameras for the TV news back home. As
we burst inside the palace, we found ourselves in a large public
reception area. The company was met by a butler. We
stopped.

“
Whom may I say is calling
on the Emperor?” asked the butler.

“
The United States Galactic
Federation Foreign Legion,” yelled Sergeant Green. “Step aside,
fool.”

“
You will wipe your feet
first,” insisted the butler. “These imported rugs are very
expensive.”

“
Let me kill him!” shouted
Sergeant Green, as Lieutenant Lopez restrained him. Sergeant Green
threw a large vase at the butler as Lieutenant Lopez pushed him
back farther.

The rest of the company poured into the lobby
area. I walked up to the large double doors of the Emperor’s
private residence, wiped my feet, and entered. The Emperor was
watching the news on TV. He was wearing a bath robe and two pairs
of pink fuzzy slippers. Other important-looking spiders were
gathered about the TV, too.

“
Do you know how much that
vase cost?” asked the Emperor. “The Queen is going to be really
pissed off at you.”

“
Are you the Emperor?” I
asked. “You are under arrest. Handcuff him.”

A large spider in a green military uniform
stood between me and the Emperor. “You may not dishonor His Majesty
by handling him like a common criminal. We will all die before
allowing such dishonor to befall our beloved Emperor.”

“
Fine with me,” I said. I
drew my sidearm.

“
Captain Czerinski,”
interrupted Corporal Kool. “Colonel McGee is on the radio. He says
it’s important.”

“
I’ll get back to you,” I
warned, pointing my pistol. I took the radio microphone.
“What?”

“
I am delayed because the
spiders are blowing up bridges along our route,” advised Colonel
McGee. “Wait at Capital Square until I get there. Then we will take
the Emperor into custody according to the surrender terms
negotiated earlier.”

“
I already smashed the
barricades, shot my way into the palace, and arrested the Emperor,”
I advised.

“
You
what
? You were supposed to wait until
the imbedded reporters and the negotiation team arrived,” screamed
Colonel McGee.

“
Do you want me to give the
Imperial Palace back to the spiders?” I asked.

“
Just keep the Emperor
safely in custody until I get there,” ordered Colonel McGee, as he
hung up.

I then turned my attention back to the
Emperor. “You are under arrest. You are confined to your bedroom.
Go there now. You may not communicate with anyone outside this
building without my permission. Violate these terms and you will be
shot. Is that clear?”

“
You will speak respectfully
to His Majesty,” said the big spider, pointing a claw at
me.

“
Who are you?” I
asked.

“
I am the Emperor’s #1
military advisor,” boasted the big spider. “Who do you think you
are?”

“
You helped plan the
invasion of New Colorado?” I asked.

“
I am the chief architect of
the invasion,” bragged the advisor. “I am the Commander of the
General Staff.”

I drew my pistol and shot the spider twice in
the head. Blood splattered all over the carpet as the big guy
dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes. I pointed my pistol
at the next spider. “Who are you? What is your job?” I asked.

“
I am the Director of Social
and Health Services,” replied the nervous spider. “Please do not
shoot.”

“
Okay, you can go,” I said,
disappointed. I pointed my gun at the spider to his left. This one
wore the black uniform of the Intelligentsia and State Security.
Ribbons and medals decorated his chest. “You! What is your
position?”

“
I am in charge of the
Federal Library System,” answered the decorated spider.

“
You don’t look like a
librarian to me,” shouted Sergeant Green, prodding the spider
officer with a bayonet. “He looks like that that slimy #14, only
higher ranking. See, he is dressed like a Nazi.”

“
The Intelligentsia and
State Security is in charge of all libraries and schools of higher
learning,” insisted the spider officer. “I am a
professor.”

I shot the professor, too. As I pointed my
pistol at the next spider, Corporal Kool interrupted me again. “A
message from Colonel McGee. More delays. He says members of the
Emperor’s Cabinet and General Staff my also be at the Imperial
Palace. They are to be detained, but treated with the respect
afforded to officials of high rank. Negotiators will meet with them
shortly.”

“
I don’t think we were
authorized to execute Cabinet members,” commented Lieutenant Lopez.
“Oops.”

“
These two are the reason I
am in the Legion. They started this war,” I accused, pointing at
the dead spiders. I holstered my sidearm. “Roll them into the
carpet and get this mess out of here before McGee gets
here.”

“
Yes sir,” replied
Lieutenant Lopez.

“
Sergeant Green, tell the
butler I am sorry about the carpet.”

“
Yes sir,” replied Sergeant
Green.

“
The rest of you spiders
listen up!” I yelled, now pacing. “There is a new sheriff in town.
You know who I am. I’m mean as a junkyard dog. I brought a pack of
mean junkyard dogs with me. You already know I eat babies for
lunch. And I don’t like any of you. The mere sight of you upsets
me. Do not give me any problems, or I will nuke your whole city and
have the biggest spider barbeque ever. Corporal Ceausescu! Lock
these spiders up!”

CHAPTER 15

Lieutenant William Norris, First Division,
Third Battalion, United States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion,
shot down over New Colorado and reported MIA one day before the
USGF counter attack, had been forgotten about. But now Lieutenant
Norris was being released. The Arthropodan Empire had surrendered.
The United States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion had landed
troops in Arthropoda’s Capital City #1 and was securing strategic
points. A forced regime change was in progress.

To #14 of Intelligentsia
& State Security, a change at the top was long overdue. The
Emperor and his Cabinet cronies were a bunch of out-of-touch old
fools. It grated on #14, however, that the catalyst for change was
the human pestilence. The humans promised to leave soon, but #14
had his doubts.
We shall see.
#14 had orders to release Lieutenant Norris to a
Legion shuttle waiting at Capital Square.

“
Lieutenant Norris, follow
me,” #14 ordered upon entering the holding cell. “You are being
released. A Legion shuttle will transport you to the Federation
Super Dreadnaught T. Roosevelt of the Tenth Fleet. Don’t come back.
You are not welcome on Arthropoda.”

“
Fine with me,” said
Lieutenant Norris, happily. “But I wouldn’t exactly call that rust
bucket T. Roosevelt a super dreadnaught. Anyway, I’m glad to be
leaving, no matter what my mode of transportation.”