America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 1: Feeling Lucky (18 page)

“
We at First National Bank
of Arthropoda appreciate your business and consider you to be a
valued customer. Is there anything further I can do for you today?”
asked the bank manager.

“
Is this bank insured?”
asked Lieutenant Lopez.

“
Most certainly,” boasted
the bank manager. “First National Bank of Arthropoda is the oldest,
largest, most respected, most secure bank in the entire Empire. We
have branches on all five planetary systems and on several space
stations. We will soon even open a new branch on Planet #6. Your
money is safe with us, sir.”

“
Thank you,” said Lieutenant
Lopez, as he turned to leave. “That will be all for
now.”

CHAPTER 18

“
It was really was too bad
about McGee. He was a good colonel,” commented Lieutenant
Lopez.

“
Yeah, he paid attention to
things. McGee thought of stuff I never would have thought of,” I
added.

“
Someone should tell the
major,” suggested Lieutenant Lopez.

“
What major?” I asked. “We
have a major?”

“
I think so,” said
Lieutenant Lopez. “Corporal Kool, do we still have a major? What’s
his name?”

“
We are supposed to have a
major,” answered Corporal Kool. “But I haven’t seen him since we
jumped. I think he got lost or something. Maybe he beamed into a
building.”

“
Well that’s just fine. We
lost our major,” I lamented. “You know, I told McGee there were
snipers out there. But does the brass ever listen to me?
No.”

“
You should see the
Emperor,” bragged Lieutenant Lopez. “I propped him up in the window
real good. Put a string on his hand so Private Nesbit can make his
claw wave back and forth. I even put the crown on his head and
everything, man. Su majestic mire muy regia.”

“
Corporal Kool! Radio the T.
Roosevelt and tell Sergeant Mendoza I want a 5,000 pound bomb
dropped on that red building directly across Capital Square from
the Imperial Palace,” I ordered. “And make sure he gets those
directions right. Make him repeat them back to you.”

“
Yes sir. And sir, General
Kalipetsis is on the line,” said Corporal Kool.

“
I just heard about McGee,”
said General Kalipetsis. “Too bad. He was a good man.”

“
Yes sir,” I
answered.

“
Where is your major? You
know, what’s his name?” asked General Kalipetsis.

“
Haven’t seen him since the
jump,” I answered. “I think he got lost.”

“
How do you lose a major,”
asked General Kalipetsis. “Anything else I should know?”

“
Yes sir. The Emperor is
dead,” I replied.

“
Impossible! I’m watching
the Emperor on spider TV waving to the crowds,” said General
Kalipetsis. “Are you sure?”

“
Yes sir, he’s been dead for
hours. We just propped him up in the window for show,” I
answered.

“
And how did this happen?”
asked General Kalipetsis.

“
You know, now that I think
about it, I think #14 murdered him this morning. Strangled him in
bed or something,” I said.

“
That makes sense because
that slimy bastard #14 just assumed control of Arthropoda,” said
General Kalipetsis. “In fact, that is why I’m calling. We’re having
a three way conference call with #14 to negotiate the future of
Arthropoda. Starting now.”

“
Hello Captain Czerinski.
How very nice to talk to you again,” said #14 over the radio
video.

“
You are still alive?” I
asked. “How about #15?”

“
We are both quite fine,”
replied #14. “I am not vindictive. I am still willing to grant you
and your legionnaires safe passage back to the T. Roosevelt. Just
leave Arthropoda forever.”

“
Can’t do it,” said General
Kalipetsis. “Your legislature just elected #2 Prime Minister, so
the Tenth Fleet is staying to support the legitimate government of
Arthropoda.”

“
The Tenth Fleet? That’s
funny. The Tenth Fleet is about as useful as the Emperor,” said
#14, laughing. “The traitors and stooges you installed in the
legislature have been arrested. As we speak, armored army units are
securing our Capital City and establishing a perimeter around
Capital Square. And that shyster #2 is in hiding.”

“
No way,” I said, alarmed.
“If I see armor anywhere near Capital Square I’ll set nukes off all
over the city. I have captured nukes here. I have all sorts of
nukes.”

“
What we need is to calm
down,” cautioned General Kalipetsis. “He knows about the Tenth
Fleet?”

“
Yes! And what we need is
air strikes,” I said. “Hit that armor before it gets
deployed.”

“
Our planetary defenses and
our remaining warships will blast you from orbit if you use nukes
against Arthropoda. I’m warning you to back off,” said
#14.

“
Captain Czerinski, you are
ordered, in the best tradition of the United States Galactic
Foreign Legion, to hold your position at all costs until
reinforcements arrive. We have #2 on spider TV, appealing for
support from the neighborhoods against #14’s assertion of power.
Help will be on the way.”

“
This is like the Alamo. We
will be famous heroes,” said Lieutenant Lopez. “They will find your
metal hand in the ashes and put it in the Smithsonian Museum. Sera
el material de que leyendas estan hechas.”

“
Fight without air support?”
I asked. “Against armor? I prefer martyrdom be
postponed.”

“
I know you can do it,” said
General Kalipetsis.

“
You must be out of your
fucking mind,” I said, cutting off the signal from General
Kalipetsis. “It’s not that I am afraid of dying. I just don’t want
to be there when it happens.”

“
About time you did that,”
said #14. “Now we can talk. I don’t want nukes going off in my
Capital, but the city is pretty much trashed anyway. Nuclear
radiation is a lot more harmful to humans than it is to us. I will
use my armor to remove you if I have to.”

“
You aren’t strong enough
yet to survive another war. Your own people will kill you,” I
added.

“
I am offering all human
troops on Arthropoda safe passage off the planet. No
pre-conditions. Just leave. Take your weapons and gear. I am being
very generous,” insisted #14.

Just then a 5,000 bomb dropped on the red
building directly across Capital Square from the Imperial
Palace.

“
#14, are you still alive?”
I asked.

“
Of course I am. That was
not a very nice thing to do. It will cost you,” threatened
#14.

“
Sorry about that. It was an
accident. I accept your offer. Send shuttles and we will begin the
evacuation. And don’t forget, I still want Lieutenant Norris
returned!”

“
Agreed.”

* * * * *

It seemed like everyone had
a plan. General Kalipetsis wanted to disarm the spiders, then nuke
them. #14 wanted power. Me? I just wanted to survive the day.
Shuttles were leaving now. Mine was the last. Lieutenant Norris sat
across from me, happy to be going home. I looked down at Arthropoda
as we blasted off toward the T. Roosevelt. After checking my
E-mail, I called up front to the pilot. “Take evasive action now! A
surface to air missile has locked on to us!” The shuttle lurched to
the side and downward, skimming the northern continent at ground
level and emitting chaff before striking out for space. A nuclear
tipped missile exploded behind us, but we were safe. Later, the
pilot asked how I knew about the SAM before it was detected on
radar.
Even paranoid people have
enemies,
I thought to myself. “Just a
guess,” I answered.

CHAPTER 19

The Inauguration Day ceremonies were going to
be a true spectacle. #14 stood atop the Imperial Palace steps
overlooking a hundred thousand soldiers. Flags fluttered in a stiff
breeze. Air Wing jets did a low altitude fly-by. #15, the new Vice
President, moved off to his right. #14 stepped up to the podium.
The crowd cheered and clapped in unison.

“
The human pestilence is
gone. The heredity-based caste system is gone. Employment, social
status, and financial success are now based on merit and character.
Our space fleet will soon be rebuilt, and its honor
restored.”

“
The total industrial and
military resources of the Empire’s five planetary systems are being
mobilized to drive the human pestilence from Arthropodan space. We
will take the war to Earth, just as the humans once took the war to
these very steps of the Imperial Palace. I will exterminate the
human pestilence once and for all. That is my will. That is the
will of Arthropoda. That is the will of God!

“
We will avenge the murder
of our Emperor at the hands of the human pestilence. In honor of
our murdered and beloved Emperor, and to honor all of you, I will
not assume the title of Emperor. I will merely take the position of
Leader.

“
Now is the time to strike
the human pestilence while they are still weak. I will lead
Arthropoda against the human pestilence with my last breath of
life. I will be the sword of God that will smash the puny human
worlds. I swear it. May God himself strike me down, should I
falter.”

A basketball sized rock fell from the sky
striking the ‘Leader.’ There was not much left of either #14 or the
rock. After piecing the rock back together, investigators found the
inscribed message: LIGHT UP YOUR DAY, COURTESY OF THE USA.

#15 stepped forward and assumed the office of
President of Arthropoda. He promised a more moderate agenda of free
trade, fair elections, the rule of law, and goodwill toward
neighbor nations.

CHAPTER 20

A demilitarized zone
separated spider territory from human territory on the planet of
New Colorado. The DMZ Village, occupied by both Intelligentsia
Security troops and the Galactic Foreign Legion, served as both
local military administration center and grievance airing point for
both species. Today the spiders’ main grievance was that the
legionnaire snipers were better shots than the Intelligentsia
snipers during an exchange yesterday. #10, the ranking
Intelligentsia officer in the village, approached me and my men in
front of the joint dining hall. I noticed the spiders carried
four-foot riot batons. Firearms were forbidden inside the DMZ
Village. #10 was accompanied by three Intelligentsia soldiers. Four
more spider troopers hung back a few feet, forming a half circle
around us.
Save us from peace,
I thought to myself.

“
Captain Czerinski. Your
unprovoked sniper attacks across the DMZ will not be tolerated,”
said #10, starting the round of negotiations.

“
Your snipers shot first,” I
responded. “They got what they deserved.”

“
You will get what you
deserve. Your armed intrusion into the DMZ is a violation of the
cease fire agreement,” said #10. “Our patrols were merely defending
Arthropodan territory.”

“
Your soldiers can kiss my
ass,” I replied. “You have been provoking incidents all along the
DMZ for the last month. Do it again and I will call in an air
strike.”

“
We will melt Arthropodan
territory into glass,” added Lieutenant Lopez. “Puta.”

“
The human pestilence sends
the Butcher of Planet #6 and his attack dog to enforce the peace?
What a joke,” commented #10. #10 then swung his baton, striking
Private Williams on the side of his Kevlar helmet. Lieutenant Lopez
was struck next. Lieutenant Lopez had time to put up his forearm in
self defense, but was still knocked down. I immediately drew a
concealed 9 MM pistol and shot #10 and his three guards. The four
spiders who had hung back from our discussion dropped their batons
and ran. I shot them too. I then got on the radio and requested
armor and air strikes.

What I got in response was General Kalipetsis
yelling at me on the radio. “Czerinski! What in the hell are you
doing up there? Trying to start a war?”

“
The war has already
started,” I answered. “I’m just trying to live through
it.”

“
I am reviewing what just
happened from your helmet cameras,” said General Kalipetsis. “It
was probably only an isolated attack by a local commander. Pull
back from the DMZ Village now. This will all blow over in a few
days. Christ, Czerinski, you know firearms aren’t allowed in the
DMZ Village.”

“
So fire me,” I responded.
“Kick me out of the Legion and send me home to Mars.”

“
That’s not happening,”
replied General Kalipetsis. “You are in the Legion for the
duration.”

* * * * *

The spiders sent a new #10 to replace the
dead #10. Both sides admitted to wrongdoing and agreed to use
restraint in settling differences, and to make more of an effort to
coexist. Both sides moved more armor, artillery, air support, and
nukes up to the DMZ. We painted our blue helmets spotted green. I
wasn’t invited to these discussions. Instead, I was sent to the
desert where it was reported that the spiders had tunneled fifteen
miles under the human zone and set up bunker fortifications.
Satellite reconnaissance showed irrigated fields and crops and a
substantial housing development in a previously thought to be
uninhabitable desert area on the frontier. General Kalipetsis sent
me to make contact with the spiders and to tell them to leave. I
had explicit orders not to kill anyone or to start a war. Yet.