America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 1: Feeling Lucky (20 page)

“
You don’t give orders to
the Intelligentsia,” responded #64. He reached into a pouch and
pulled out two dog tags, tossing them onto the table by my plate.
Through dried blood I could read DELACRUZ. The other tag said
KRUEGER.

“
What happened to my men?” I
asked.

“
Delacruz was eaten by a
monitor dragon. Krueger is under arrest for terrorism and the
murder of commander #10,” answered #64. “Good riddance to both
human pestilence.”

“
You will return Corporal
Krueger immediately,” I ordered. “I hold you personally responsible
for his well being until he is returned.”

“
I will not,” replied #64.
“The human pestilence will be tried and executed according to our
laws.”

“
This farce will continue no
longer,” I said, getting up from my table. Humans and spiders stood
and backed away from each other, fidgeting with the triggers of
their assault rifles. “The DMZ Village will be evacuated. I am
burning it down.”

“
You cannot do that,” said
one of the spider sergeants of their regular army. “No good will
come of that. You do not have the authority.”

“
If our species are going to
be at war,” I said, placing the dog tags in a pouch, “then I’m
through sneaking around about it. Let the fun and games
begin.”

“
If war comes, you do not
have enough troops to win,” warned the spider sergeant. “You will
not have a chance.”

That night I burned the DMZ Village to the
ground. The red glow could be seen from space. Via satellite, the
red glow on BHTV was visible from across the galaxy on Earth.

CHAPTER 22

Planetary Commander #1was enjoying his first
cup of coffee – human coffee, it is the best, ‘mountain grown,’ he
had heard from Military Intelligence. #1’s tranquility was
disturbed by the intercom.

“
The Emperor is on line
one,” announced his administrative assistant.

“
Good morning, Your Majesty.
How may I help you this fine day?” asked #1, trying to sound
upbeat.

“
Fine day?” asked the
Emperor. “It’s not a fine day when I turn on my TV and see the DMZ
Village burning down before my general on Planet #6 even bothers
tell me about it! What the hell is happening on my Planet
#6?”

“
There nothing to worry
about, Your Majesty,” assured #1. “A couple of our local
Intelligentsia commanders got killed trying to make a name for
themselves messing with that Captain Czerinski. Remember Czerinski?
It was Czerinski who burned down the DMZ Village when we caught
some human assassins and refused to repatriate them. I was about to
order an artillery
barrage to teach the
human pestilence a lesson when you called.”

“
I’m glad to hear that I
have nothing to worry about,” said the Emperor. “Other than you are
about to start a war with the United States Galactic
Federation.”

“
The human pestilence only
have a few Legion units on Planet #6,” responded #1. “We could
easily defeat them.”

“
You idiot! Place yourself
under house arrest and put the Lieutenant Governor on the phone,”
demanded the Emperor. “It seems like no one can follow orders. That
will change!”

* * * * *

“
General Kalipetsis, the
President is on the phone for you, sir,” announced First Sergeant
Mendoza.

“
Tell the President I’m not
in,” said General Kalipetsis. “Tell him I’m out doing important
general stuff out in the field.”

“
I can’t do that, sir,” said
First Sergeant Mendoza. “He knows you are here.”

“
Just fine,” snapped General
Kalipetsis, turning on his communications device and seeing the
President staring back at him. “Hello Mr. President. How very good
to talk to you again.”

“
I put you in charge of
patrolling one little DMZ on one measly planet,” said the
President. “How hard can that be? I wake up and what do I see on
the Galaxy-FOX News Network? The DMZ Village burning
down!”

“
It's not my fault,” said
General Kalipetsis. “Captain Czerinski burned it down. Besides, the
spiders aren’t cooperating. They’re sniping at us every chance they
get, and things are getting out of hand. We need re-enforcements so
we can drive the spiders off New Colorado once and for
all.”

“
General Kalipetsis, you had
better start looking at the big picture. There are aliens out there
a lot nastier than the spiders, and they’re causing problems on the
other frontier. And, there is always the Chinese problem. They’re
getting restless, again. You will not be getting more troops. The
regular army is needed elsewhere. We need to be building alliances,
not starting a new war.”

“
But what if the spiders
attack?” asked General Kalipetsis. “I think we can only prevent
disaster with a pre-emptive strike.”

“
I just got off the phone
with the Emperor of Arthopoda,” said the President. “We have a lot
more in common with the spiders than not. You will work things out
with their local field commanders. That is an order.”

“
With all due respect, Mr.
President, you are being a bit naive,” said General Kalipetsis.
“You can’t trust the spiders. They will nuke us while we sleep.
They have done it before.”

“
If you start a war on New
Colorado I will put you on a slow prison ship bound for Earth,”
promised the President. “You probably won’t make it here, though,
because you will get thrown out an airlock along the way. And that
will be the end of any political aspirations you might be harboring
too. Am I making myself clear, General?”

“
Yes, Mr. President,” said
General Kalipetsis. “What shall I do about Captain Czerinski? He is
like a loose cannon. He might start a war all on his own, even if I
don’t. I was thinking about placing him under arrest for burning
down the DMZ Village.”

“
I don’t think it would be a
good idea to court-martial a Congressional Medal of Honor awardee
and the son of my new Vice President. Besides, the public loves
him,” added the President. “He gets things done. Giving the green
spiders at Waterstone citizenship was a stroke of genius. And they
even chose to be Republicans. The spiders are even joining the
Foreign Legion. Which reminds me. By Executive Order I have created
a National Guard company out at Waterstone. It’s all spiders. The
problem is that every adult male and female spider in Waterstone
wants to join. We might end up with a National Guard division
instead of just a company. You want more troops? There you go. I
want you to go to Waterstone and inspect my new National Guard
troops and give them anything they need, such as equipment, drill
instructors, weapons, even armor.”

“
Yes sir,” said General
Kalipetsis.

“
Don’t disappoint me,
General, or I will give your star to Captain Czerinski.”

* * * * *

“
Captain Czerinski,” said
General Kalipetsis, on field radio. “Are you still roasting marsh
mallows and wieners down at the DMZ Village? Got a pig in the
ground yet?”

“
Sorry about the village,
sir,” I said. “I guess I lost my temper.”

“
Well, I smoothed things
over with the President,” said General Kalipetsis. “But in the
future, use a little more restraint. Also, plans for war are on
hold. The President has ordered local field commanders – that’s you
– to work things out. I will be negotiating with the Lieutenant
Governor.”

“
Yes, sir,” I said. “I have
good news from here, sir. The spiders just released Corporal
Krueger. And the word on the ground is that the Emperor has
abolished the Office of the Intelligentsia & State Security,
citing the agency for being out of control, insubordinate, and a
threat to the stability and well being of the Empire.”

“
Outstanding! Finally some
good news,” said General Kalipetsis. “I have some good news for you
too. The President started a National Guard unit at Waterstone, and
we have lots of spider volunteers. I want to fly down there with
you for an inspection and see how we can assist.”

“
I can’t do it, sir,” I
lied. “I am in the middle of negotiations with the new #10. But, I
can call ahead for you to Waterstone. I know the mayor. I will have
him roll out a red carpet reception for you. He’ll have a band,
drinks, food, TV cameras, and lots of happy spiders.”

“
Thank you, Czerinski. That
would be great,” said General Kalipetsis.

“
There is only one hotel in
Waterstone,” I added. “It’s run by an influential spider named
Amanda. I will call her and tell her that the Supreme Commander and
Governor of New Colorado will be arriving and to make sure you get
only the best rooms for you and your staff. She wants to talk to
you anyway about a gambling license for her hotel. Maybe you can
fast track the license process for her. When you see Amanda, tell
her that you are dedicated to protection and well-being of
Waterstone. She will love you to death for it, sir.”

“
I’ll do that. Thanks for
the heads up, Captain Czerinski,” said General Kalipetsis. “You are
a good man and a credit to the Foreign Legion.”

CHAPTER 23

#64 drank vodka as he sat in the DMZ Tavern,
a local drinking spot that catered to the military. #64 liked
vodka. It was the only good thing that came from the human
pestilence. As he drank, #64 griped about the sorry state of the
galaxy to anyone who would listen. “I have had two commanders
assassinated by the human pestilence. And what is the General
Staff’s response? They just let the humans go,” complained #64.
“That Czerinski struts around like he owns the whole planet. He
attends parties at our governor’s mansion. He is promoted. And that
sniper, Krueger. We capture Krueger and he gets pardoned and
released, too. Now Krueger is in one of those guard towers,
laughing at us.”

#85 nodded in agreement. “I should have fed
Krueger to my dragon when I had the chance,” said #85, reaching
under the table to pat the monitor on the snout and give it another
slurp of vodka.

“
The humans get stronger
every day. They are re-enforcing their positions with more bunkers,
armor, and legionnaires,” said #64. “They are even enlisting
traitorous Greens into their Foreign Legion.”

“
Traitors,” slurred #85 in
agreement.

#64 was getting louder now. He eyed with
contempt a green soldier sitting nearby. “You! Traitorous Green!
You dare to drink with us?”

“
I am a soldier, just like
you,” responded the green spider. “I have earned the right to be
here.”

“
You have earned the right
to be exterminated,” said #64. “You are not of the warrior caste.
Go back to your money-grubbing shops.”

“
The caste system was
abolished by the Emperor,” said the green spider, now standing. “I
joined the army to avenge the insult of human occupation of our
capital. I am a loyal subject of the Emperor.”

“
Greens are only loyal to
money. Your kind built a city on the human side of the DMZ. You
trade with the humans. It’s even rumored that your females have sex
with humans. Do you deny it? Your race is an
abomination.”

“
I have faced and killed
humans in combat. Have you?” asked the green spider. “After all
I’ve been through in battle, the last thing I am going to do is
tolerate insults from a piss-ant like you. Prepare to
die.”

As the green spider took a step forward, he
was shot from behind by an unknown assailant. The monitor dragon,
already alerted by the smell of tension in the air, pounced on the
dying spider, tearing it apart. The crowd lifted their mugs and
cheered a toast. The bartender, another green spider, quietly left
the building. #64 announced that all drinks were on the house,
courtesy of the Greens.

“
Let this be a lesson to all
traitors,” #64 said to the crowd. “The human pestilence, their
green allies, and collaborators on the General Staff, including the
new Governor, should be exterminated. Our honor demands
it!”

There were more cheers. Every spider carried
a communications imaging device. #64’s speech and the murder of the
green soldier were recorded and broadcast to friends over the
internets. Even as #64 addressed the bar crowd, his comments were
being aired on local TV. Soon, three police officers showed up. The
police still wore the black uniform of the defunct Intelligentsia.
“You are under arrest,” announced the ranking officer, flanked by
his two subordinates. “Put your hands and claw out to be cuffed
up.”

“
Really?” said #64. “For
what? Drunk and disorderly?” Everyone laughed.

“
Murder, treason, and
sedition,” replied the officer. “You will come with us.”

“
He will not come with you,”
hissed #85. The crowd pressed in on the officers, creating a
barrier between them and #64. The monitor tugged at his leash,
sensing blood would soon be spilled. The police officers raised
their submachine guns as the crowd jostled them.

“
Stop!” yelled #64. “These
police officers are just doing their duty. Following orders. Do not
blame them. Let them live, for now. Blame their superiors. Blame
the new Governor. Blame the General Staff. I will submit to arrest.
But I will treat this arrest like a badge of honor.”

The crowded parted as #64 was lead away. By
now a nasty crowd had gathered outside too. Spiders pushed and
hissed at the police officers as #64 was put inside a police car.
More police were arriving. Spiders pounded on the car windows and
rocked the police car back and forth. Finally the police car sped
away, leaving a riot in its wake. And it all made the Eleven
O’clock News.