America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 1: Feeling Lucky (19 page)

Our column of armored cars was met by green
spiders at the front gate of a bunker complex. Their leader, a
large merchant spider, seemed to be expecting our arrival. “Welcome
to Waterstone,” said the merchant spider. “What brings the Foreign
Legion this far out to the frontier? A lovely day for a visit?”

“
You are fifteen miles past
the border,” I announced. “You are trespassing. Get out or I will
call in an air strike and nuke you all.”

“
That was harsh,” whispered
Sergeant Green.

“
We are not leaving. Our
bunkers and tunnels are impervious to nuclear attack,” responded
the merchant spider. “And we have air support. If anyone should
leave, maybe it should be you.”

“
Don’t you realize you are
violating the ceasefire agreement your government signed?” I asked.
Legionnaires deployed their weapons to my left and right. “Do you
want to start a war?”

“
The Anthropodan Emperor
does not represent us. Besides, we bought this land,” said the
merchant spider, handing me a scroll. “This deed has been filed and
notarized by a human court.”

I read the deed. It said Lieutenant Manny
Lopez of the United States Galactic Federation Foreign Legion sold
one hundred square miles of desert land known locally as Waterstone
for ten million dollars in gold.

“
This isn’t legal,” I
insisted. “Spiders can’t buy land in the human zone.”

“
We can and we did,” said
the merchant spider. “I’ll have my lawyers contact your lawyers if
you persist in trying to breech our contract.”

“
Lieutenant Lopez!” I called
out. “Get up here!”

“
Lieutenant Lopez trotted up
to the gate and saluted. His arm was still in a cast. “Sir? What’s
up?”

I waved the deed in front of Lieutenant
Lopez. “Your name is on this deed for having sold this land to the
spiders! Care to explain?”

“
I’ve been dabbling in real
estate on the side,” explained Lieutenant Lopez. “You have a
problem with that?”

“
They’re spiders! You can’t
sell spiders our land,” I said. “This is fifteen miles from the
border.”

“
They are legal immigrants,”
said Lieutenant Lopez. “Under colonial law, anyone is allowed to
stay on land legally acquired and developed. The deeds were
recorded with a local magistrate.”

“
Under false pretenses, I’m
sure. There is no way any judge knowingly allowed spiders to buy
land in the human zone.”

“
This land was a worthless
desert before the green spiders dug wells and irrigated. Now
Waterstone is an oasis,” said Lieutenant Lopez. “Besides, we have
another problem. They might still have their own nuke.”

“
What?” I yelled. “Where
would spider squatters get a nuke?”

“
I sold it to them before we
left Arthropoda,” explained Lieutenant Lopez. “How was I to know
they might bring it to New Colorado?”

I turned to the spider merchant. “Do you
still have a nuke?”

“
Of course I do,” answered
the merchant spider. “How do you think we negotiated our freedom
from the Empire? Once the Emperor found out we had a nuke in his
capital, they couldn’t let us leave fast enough.”

I gave the matter some thought. General
Kalipetsis gave me explicit orders not to kill anyone and not to
start another war. This part of New Colorado really was a
godforsaken worthless desert. But the green spiders seemed happy
living here, piling up rocks and irrigating alkaline flats that
looked just like Death Valley. Sure. Why not? Let them have it.

I gathered all ten thousand spider
inhabitants for an announcement. I addressed the crowd on a public
address speaker. “Repeat after me: I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States Galactic Federation of America. And to the
Republic, for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.” I motioned for Corporal Kool to
give me the citizenship forms he had brought up on the computer.
“You are all now citizens of the United States.”

“
We now have constitutional
rights?” asked the merchant spider. The whole town let out a cheer
and rushed forward to sign the citizenship forms and to touch me.
Alcohol flowed freely, and a celebration began. Today would be
their Independence Day. The merchant spider was the first to sign
his papers.

I went through the checklist with him. “You
can now vote and run for public office. You have the right to join
one of two political parties,” I explained. “Do you want to be a
Democrat or a Republican?”

“
Democrat,” answered the
bewildered merchant spider, shrugging.

“
You might want to
reconsider that,” I said. “It’s still legal to be a Democrat, but
they are frowned upon these days as being weak on security
matters.”

“
We will be Republicans,”
announced the merchant spider.

“
Excellent choice,” I said.
“General Kalipetsis will be happy to hear you all are
Republicans.”

“
General Kalipetsis is going
to have a conniption when he finds out what you just did,” said
Lieutenant Lopez.

“
General Kalipetsis will get
over it,” I answered. Just then a speckled green spider gave me a
hug and slobbered all over my face. I gave the spider a shove. “Get
away from me!”

“
I think she likes you,”
said the merchant spider, chuckling.

“
She?” I asked, as the
speckled green spider put a claw around my waist and slid a hand
down to my rear, giving me a pinch. “Is she drunk?”

“
It is almost noon. Of
course I’m drunk,” answered the speckled green spider. “You are our
savior, our hero, our George Washington. In appreciation, I want to
give my body to you.”

“
Are you nuts?” I responded,
giving her another shove. This time the shove had
emphasis.

“
I love warrior males who
resist,” she said, putting four arms around me. “You excite me so
much.”

I looked the female spider in the eyes and
saw a reflection of her next meal. I drew my commando knife and
took a wicked swipe at the female spider. She blocked my blow and
twisted the knife from my hand. A metal sap across my head put me
in La La Land. The crowd, both spider and human, cheered drunkenly
as the spider babe dragged me semi-conscious across the street to a
hotel. I probably made history that night by mating with a female
spider. It wasn’t all that bad. ‘Amanda’ had skills that no human
should know about.

I’m sure Amanda is a tender loving being. But
as she had hissed during lovemaking, I have never been so terrified
in my life. At times I thought she was going to suck out my blood
and eat me. I was determined to never mate outside of my species
again.

“
I really like you,” Amanda
said, afterwards.

“
I really like you, too,” I
said. “You are very special to me.” I probably would have enjoyed
myself more if I had not been concussed and terrified.

“
Can I see you again?” she
asked. “Maybe we can establish a lasting relationship?”

“
No, love,” I responded,
gently. “If you ever approach me again I will shoot
you.”

“
Too bad. You humans are so
odd,” said Amanda, getting dressed. “I like humans. I like you.
However, I will respect your customs and not press the matter. I
will always treasure our one-night stand.”

CHAPTER 21

#10 of the Intelligentsia & State
Security addressed his troops. “The human pestilence is the most
vicious and barbarous enemy imaginable. Humans rarely take
prisoners. They think nothing of eating our soldiers and civilians
alike. Even babies are not safe from their ravenous appetite. Their
hordes swept across the galaxy like locusts, but we stopped them
here on Planet #6. It is a credit to your courage and
determination. You are the first line of defense against the human
pestilence. Be proud. It is our responsibility to be diligent and
sharp as a razor claw. We cannot rest. We are the Emperor’s sword.
A study of human history is a study of repeated genocide. The
galaxy will never be safe until the humans are dealt with once and
for all. Let it begin here.”

* * * * *

Across the DMZ General Kalipetsis addressed
his men. “New Colorado was a barren lifeless planet with a carbon
dioxide atmosphere until the human race terra-farmed it. It took
one hundred years to create the lush paradise you see all about
you. Then, after all our hard work an ingenuity, the spiders
invaded and tried to exterminate our peaceful colony using nukes
and nerve agent. Now, the spiders have decided they want to live
here. The spiders want a windfall from our efforts. I have news for
the spiders. Humanity will not leave New Colorado, and the spiders
may not stay. The spiders will learn the hard way that human race
is the most deadly species in the galaxy. When reinforcements
arrive, the Legion will be serving an eviction notice on the
spiders.”

* * * * *

Corporal Krueger and Private
Delacruz were three miles across the spider border. The Legion
sniper team was looking for targets of opportunity. Spider snipers
had been causing casualties all along the DMZ, and it was time for
payback. Private Delacruz scanned the distant roadway for movement
with his spotter’s scope. A small column of vehicles was making its
way through the hills from the DMZ. One vehicle in particular
interested Private Delacruz. It was a staff car. The vehicle was
adorned with green flags on the front, had no roof, and was abound
with antennas. The passenger in the back seat wore the black
uniform of an Intelligentsia officer.
The
fool must be new to the area,
thought
private Delacruz.
Or, maybe he is just
stupid. He rides around like he owns the place.

As the vehicle passed by, Private Delacruz
set off a remote-controlled IED (improvised explosive device). The
staff car was flipped onto its side. The officer, the new #10,
landed safely on his feet and drew a pistol. Corporal Krueger fired
once, a two round burst of 50-cal. rounds that blew #10 apart.
Corporal Krueger and Private Delacruz then ran towards the DMZ. The
two were in peak physical condition. They could run for miles. It
was standard operating procedure to hit a target, relocate quickly,
and then set up for another hit. Blocked by spider patrols at the
DMZ, they covered themselves with camouflage nets and waited for
darkness.

* * * * *

#64, riding in the lead vehicle, radioed in
to report the IED explosion and the coordinates given by their
sniper location device. An Intelligentsia tracker team was
immediately dispatched to the scene. #64 accompanied the tracking
team swiftly through the forest. The team was led by #85 and his
partner, a giant monitor dragon. The serpent would stop, flick its
tongue, and continue to follow the scent. #64 kept a wary distance
from the dragon. Everyone knew the dragon’s motivation for its
relentless chase – dinner. Dragons were always hungry. They were
bred that way. Dragons didn’t care much whether it is human or
Anthropodan on the menu.

As they approached the DMZ border, the dragon
crouched, stalking its prey. #64 unclipped its leash and let the
dragon circle. Suddenly the dragon darted through the underbrush,
striking Private Delacruz in the face with poisonous three-inch
fangs. Private Delacruz never saw the monster that killed him.
Hearing the commotion and screams, Corporal Krueger immediately
raised his hands and surrendered.

* * * * *

In the joint dining hall of the DMZ Village,
the spiders and humans sat and ate on opposite sides. The food was
terrible and the portions were too small. Among the spiders,
Intelligentsia and army separated. On the Legion side, officers ate
apart from their men. But, today I walked into the dining hall,
escorting our newest member of the United States Galactic Foreign
Legion, fresh out of basic training. He was armed with a shotgun
and a submachine gun. Everyone in the village was armed now. I put
my hand on the shoulder of the large light green spider from
Waterstone and announced, “Gentlemen, meet Private George Rambo
Washington, our newest legionnaire. He’s one of us, now. Make it
work.”

“
Interesting name,” said
Private Williams. “How did you get it?”

“
I chose the name based on
Captain Czerinski’s recommendation,” answered Private Washington.
“He said it comes from a long line of great human
warriors.”

“
Traitorous green scum,”
commented #64. “We will not eat with him.”

“
Good. It will smell better
in here when you leave,” I said.

“
Does that mean he’s eating
with us?” asked Private Williams.

“
You have sex with your
mother,” said Private Washington defiantly, obviously feeling the
need to stick up for himself.

“
Sergeant Green,” I said, as
I sat down with my men, “work with Private Washington on his
swearing. He doesn’t have our lingo down quite right.”

“
He’s saying it right,”
insisted Sergeant Green. “It’s the translation device that’s
messing up.”

#64 walked across the dividing line to
confront Private Washington. “What did you say about my mother? You
pond scum!”

“
Who’s your mamma?” taunted
Private Washington.

“
Enough! Both of you be
seated,” I ordered. I nodded to one of the spider sergeants.
“Somebody here take care of Crab Boy.”