Anathema (22 page)

Still, I force myself to focus on the soft
glow and draw the heated power from throughout my body to my hands
where I can collect it.

Something must be working because it's then,
even with my eyes closed, I sense my vision has shifted into the
stranger version of darkness and light. I keep drawing it because I
don't know what I have to do to attract the attention of the
triune. Can they sense when the power is growing, or does it have
to surge?

It doesn't matter. The ball starts out the
size of a nickel. I keep nurturing it. It's like pulling glowing
cotton from the fiber of my being and watching it jump together,
reforming itself into the ball. But as I gather it, I feel the
intense heat—a new side-effect, I'm guessing. And that probably
means this power is evolving, forcing me to evolve with it. Come
next week, there’s no telling what that will mean.

I guess it's a good thing it's going to be
over one way or another—right now.

The energy is now tennis-ball sized. I could
discharge it, but I want to wait. I want to make it bigger to
attract them. No mistakes about what I'm doing or where I am. Give
them all the ammunition they need to end this.

My head is starting to throb, and even with
my eyes closed, the world is spinning. The ball is now the size of
a volleyball, and I feel weak, which probably means this is as big
as it's going to get without me passing out. I feel myself
sweating; as the size of the ball has grown, so has the amount of
heat it's generating.

I start to pull myself upright with the help
of the railing. I keep my eyes closed because the distortions in my
vision only make it harder for me to concentrate, and right now I
need all the help I can get. The world tilts like I’m on some kind
of a ride, and I taste bile. In the distance, my shoulder hurts,
but I push the pain farther back so I can’t feel it beneath the
ache blossoming in my head.

When I can finally stand without huddling
over the rail for support, I look down at my hands and hold out the
ball. For a moment, nothing happens. Then I look at the trees just
a short distance away. The sudden shift of my concentration is
enough; the fiery light jumps from my hands to the trees and
underbrush. Although most of the leaves have fallen already, the
bark seems healthy enough, at least until the bright flaming light
touches it. The hard brown skin of the tree suddenly glows in heat
for a minute before the light fades, leaving a charred skeleton
where a healthy oak had stood just a moment ago; all the limbs are
brittle and scorched.

I fall backwards, and the rush causes me to
vomit. I just keep my eyes closed, hoping that will make the
disorientation pass a little more quickly; I can’t stand the way it
seizes me, refusing to let me go. I remain there, rocks from the
hard ground digging into my body until I have enough strength to
roll over to my side and try to stand. The pain in my head and arms
is worse, and I’m exhausted. Without the glowing orb of energy, I
feel cold, and I shudder as the wind picks up around me. Tennessee
was so much warmer.

Although I manage to get to my feet, my knees
are weak and threaten to dump me back to the ground, so I clutch
the rail for support, hoping this wave of weakness will pass. My
vision is closer to normal but still skewed. That doesn’t stop me
from trying to see the world as it should be, including the
vicinity where I loosed the ball of energy. Then I see what my
‘power’ has truly purchased, taking something so green and vibrant
and turning it into charred death.

What a power. I’m so lucky.

It is then I think back to the cabin where I
left Jimmie, Griffin, and Celia, and the horror overcomes me once
again. I start shaking and can’t stop; it takes everything I have
just to keep upright. The crash of the waterfall is loud and
consuming. It makes me think about the time so long ago when I fell
over the railing and Lev saved me. I never thought I would believe
it was a mistake. But now I have a different perspective, a
viewpoint I’d give anything to put out of my mind.

“Elizabeth? What are you doing?”

I turn, already well aware of Lev. And it
doesn’t take much for me to realize just how happy he isn’t. When I
see his eyes, I find the blue is harder, almost angry, like the
ocean with roiling, white-capped waves.

“I’m finishing this so you don’t have
to.”

He strides toward me and grabs my arms. “This
isn’t the way, and you know it. All this is going to do is
infuriate the Triune and leave them no choice.”

I jerk the hair from my face. “In case you
haven’t realized it, there is no choice. There never has been, but
you have been so stubborn. You won’t listen.”

His fingers press hard, but I don’t think
he’s aware of it, not judging by the painful expression on his
face. “I’m trying to save your life. Don’t you understand
that?”

“Maybe it isn’t yours to save. Maybe every
time you do that it only gets worse.”

Lev is trying really hard not to react, but
his jaw clenches, and his nostrils flare slightly, giving him away.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.” He drops his hands and glances
at the falls. “Where is Celia? I told her to keep you under wraps
until we could get this figured out.” He shakes his head. “Now the
Triune is on its way over here, and I don’t know that I can keep it
under control.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try,” I whisper.

“What are you talking about?” He folds his
arms across his chest. “You’re not making sense.”

“The power is too dangerous, Lev. I can’t
control it. I know Evan thought I could, but I can’t.” I swallow
hard.

“You just need time.” His voice is soft and
forgiving. He tries to pull me into his arms.

“No, I don’t. This power needs to go, one way
or another.” I chew my bottom lip.

“You don’t know what you are saying,” he
whispers. His face is suddenly pale, and he closes his eyes as
though trying to forget what I’m telling him.

“Yes, I do, Lev—I know exactly what I’m
saying. If the only way to get rid of it is to get rid of me, then
so be it.” I nod to the tree destroyed by the ball of energy. “I
did that. Me. The girl you’re in love with. That’s what I’m capable
of it.”

Lev’s gaze follows mine until he happens upon
the charred ruins of what was once a beautiful tree. An image of
Celia’s face pops into my head, and I flinch.

“It was a tree, Elizabeth. Just a tree.”

“No, it’s not. It’s Celia, Jimmie, and
Griffin, too.” I start to run, but Lev is quicker.

“You’re talking crazy,” Lev whispers, and I
know he’s trying to calm me down, but I don’t want to be calm.

I pull away. “No, I’m not. That’s what you
don’t understand. You weren’t there; you didn’t see them on the
floor. All I wanted was to get away and find you, and Celia did
what you asked; she tried to stop me. The next thing I knew, the
three of them were dead. So you still think I need to be protected?
Personally, I think you should just let the Triune do whatever it
is they’re here to do and save everybody the grief of pretending
things are going to get better. They aren’t, Lev, and deep inside I
think you know that.”

“Celia is dead?” His voice is hollow, and he
staggers backward slightly.

I swallow hard, trying to keep the tears far
enough back I can’t feel them. “Yeah, and…the others, too.” I’m
shaking so hard it feels like I’m going to come apart.

I turn away, suddenly too tired to talk about
this anymore. Lev grabs my arm and tries to lead me.

“Come on. We have to get you out of here. You
are in no shape to face the Triune.”

I try to pull away, but he refuses to let me
go. “They came here for me, Lev, and they came for a good reason.
If I can’t be fixed, I don’t want to be like this--even if it means
that I won’t be at all anymore.”

He takes a step and drags me with him. “I’m
not going to let you do this, Elizabeth. We don’t have time to talk
this through. The angels from the Triune are on their way. I don’t
think Evan can hold them off much longer. So I need to get you out
of here.”

“No!” I snap. Then I realize the danger
inherent far too late. My vision starts to switch to that
monochrome world of light and dark. I know what that means, and it
makes me try harder to break away. “Let me go!”

“Stop fighting me!” Lev argues, gripping me
even tighter.

“The power, Lev! Please--I can’t control it!
It will take you, too!” I know I’m screaming at him, and I’m
fighting him as hard and fast as I know how, but I can’t get loose.
My hands start that ghoulish glowing as the energy ebbs toward
them, but in a matter of minutes the flow will quicken and the ball
will form in my hands, waiting to be discharged.

“It’s okay, Elizabeth! Calm down. No one is
going to get hurt.”

By now I’m still screaming, but there are no
words for what I feel. I just keep thrashing, thinking I’ll get
lucky against his supernatural strength, but he holds me fast so
easily, as though I weigh nothing at all. My good hand tries to
grip his and jerk the fingers from my arm, but his grip is like a
vise. Although he’s not hurting me, I can’t break free, either no
matter how hard I try.

Lev’s gaze snaps to the sky. “Elizabeth,
stop! Please. The Triune is coming. We have to leave.”

The glowing ball is brighter, bigger, and far
beyond my control. I stare at it and try to think of a way to mute
it. The blanket technique isn’t working. The ball just keeps
getting bigger and bigger. And I know who will end up being the
target, no matter what I do.

Chapter Seventeen

I try to buck away from Lev, but that only
results in his grip tightening. My vision has completely shifted to
the two tones of light and darkness, which is probably why I see
the four bright auras descending from the sky not far from us. They
land behind us. At that moment, I stop struggling because I know
it’s too late for Lev to save me, and I know what I have to do. I
think the trouble is going to be convincing Lev of what needs to be
done.

“Why do you hold her like that, if she is of
no consequence?” a strange, musical voice asks.

Lev stiffens. He leans close to me. “She’s
upset. I was trying to calm her down.”

I look at my hands. The glowing is about the
size of a grapefruit, and the one thing I do understand about this
power is that there is enough energy there to discharge now. I
don’t know if it will keep building or leap free; I just know what
can happen.

“You need to let me go,” I whisper to Lev.
“Please.”

“No,” he argues, leaning close so he can
whisper in my ear. “If I do that, the angels will kill you. I’m not
going to let that happen.”

I stiffen. It’s one thing to think you know
what’s going to happen, but it’s quite another when someone tells
you point blank you will die. “I know that, Lev. But look at my
hands. Really look at them.”

He leans closer, and a gasp comes out ,
painfully. “You have to stop it,” he whispers.

“I can’t. The power is beyond me. That’s what
I’ve been trying to tell you.” Tears choke my voice. “If you don’t
get away from me, I will kill you, and I can’t live with that. So
please—let me go.”

My body shakes convulsively, and my breathing
is ragged and uneven. I keep trying to get loose, but he won’t let
me go, and I don’t have the strength to just break free.

“I can’t, Elizabeth. I know you want me to,
but I can’t. You taught me far too well.” His voice is low in my
ear. “And I love you more than I will ever love myself.” He kisses
my ear. “So whatever you must face, you won’t be alone. Ever.”

“Turn the girl around,” a different musical
voice commands. “I want to see her.”

“Why does it matter what she looks like,
Lepail?” Lev asks, holding me protectively. “She’s human like all
the others you really don’t care about.”

“The others do not concern us. They have not
taken a holy artifact and stolen its power. She has. Now turn her
around.”

“You will never be alone,” Lev whispers,
lifting my body so he can turn me. His hands cover mine, trying to
hide the glow from the other angelic eyes. As he turns me, I see
the bright auras, and they blind me so I have to close my eyes.
Even that doesn’t shut out the light completely. It’s like having
my eyes closed and tilting my head toward the sun on a bright
summer day. The glow finds its way in around my eyelids.

Lev’s arms remain draped around me, and for a
moment or two, I’m glad to feel him so close. Then I think back to
the danger and wish I knew a better way out of this mess, one that
would allow me to be with Lev; I can’t imagine an existence without
him. I don’t really want to be in any realm where he’s not, but
then again, I don’t recall anyone asking me, especially not the
huge glowing angels right in front of us, all three of whom are
staring raptly at me, I’m sure.

“What have you to say for yourself?” a third
musical voice chimes in.

“Do you really think anything she can say
will justify the atrocities she has committed, Turnoc?” I hear
Lepail ask. “She is a human who had no business meddling in the
affairs of angels.”

“Shouldn’t she at least have a chance to
speak on her behalf before you levy judgment against her?” Evan
asks. “She did not ask for any of this. I keep—”

“Silence,” Lepail demands. “I will let the
girl speak, not that it will sway what needs to be done. But as you
have been assigned a similar task, Evan, I will adhere to your
advice.” The glow steps closer, and he seems so large and
frightening I find myself backing up into Lev’s embrace all the
more because I’m terrified.

“Well,” Lepail demands. “What have you to say
for yourself, girl?”

“Now is your chance,” Lev whispers in my
ears. “You have to convince them you meant no disrespect and
weren’t trying to steal the power from the dagger. That it just
happened.”