Anathema (17 page)

Lev grabs my arm and shakes his head. “It
doesn’t matter how I’m doing this, Elizabeth. We have to talk
because you are in an incredible amount of danger. You need to come
home.”

I try to pull away, but he refuses to let
me go. “Have you talked to Evan about this? I’m willing to bet he
probably thinks it’s a blessing in disguise that I’ve run away; he
sure didn’t know how he was going to deal with you on one side of
things and him on the other. And
he shouldn’t have to.” I
finally jerk my arm free.

“
Can’t we leave Evan out of this?” For an
angel, he’s suddenly peeved, and right about now, the shimmer that
usually hides his wings has given way to his true nature.

“
I’m trying to leave Evan out of
everything—and you and Celia as well. This isn’t your problem, Lev.
You didn’t make that choice about the dagger. I did. Now I have to
face the consequences.”

Lev’s wings twitch slightly, and I’m
wondering if they just do that when he’s angry. Of course, I’ve
never really seen Lev angry before. Upset, yes, but not angry. I
wasn’t even sure if he could suddenly blow up or if that was just a
human ‘thing.’ I guess this pretty much tells me his emotions are
human enough.

"Maybe you think you deserve this because of
the choices you made, but we all had a hand in what happened. If I
hadn’t stupidly handed over the dagger to begin with, you wouldn't
be in this mess. If I had just thought to be honest with you up
front instead of trying to protect you, you never would have been
deceived by Kane. There're a million variables that led up to this
course of action, any of which could have been changed at some
point and taken you out of the position you were forced into."

I shrug. "Okay. Maybe that’s true, but it
doesn't change where we are now, Lev. Nothing can change that, and
we both know it. The best I can do is try to find some way to face
what’s going on and stay away from anyone who could get hurt. That
means you!"

I start to walk away, but he grabs my arm.
"Elizabeth, I love you. I have devoted my existence to watching
over you. You're making a choice that doesn't just involve you. No
matter what happens, your life has become entangled with mine, and
I deserve to have a say in how it
turns out."

His fingers squeeze my arm tightly, and his
mouth forms a neutral frown. The glowI associate with him has
dimmed slightly. I'm not sure if it's the dream or his disposition.
This is just another hint that as much as I know about Lev, there
is still so much I don't know about angels. Or him.

"I know you want to protect me and that every
fiber of your body screams that I'm wrong to do this—but look at
things from my perspective. You kept your distance from me because
you thought you were protecting me. How could I act any
differently?"

I reach out and stroke his face. His cheek
warms my hand, and I can tell by the troubled look in his eyes this
isn't going the way he wants it to. He gently grabs my hand and
kisses my wrist.

"I know." His voice is so quiet I can barely
hear it. "You have reasons for doing this, but it's killing me to
be apart from you, Elizabeth. I don't know how to do this."

"Give yourself time," I whisper.

"Please come home. Jimmie is worried about
you. I've never seen him like this."

At those words, I stiffen and consider coming
home. Then again, Lev knows how much I worry over Jimmie, and he'd
probably try anything now just to get me back there—not that I
blame him, of course. I'd do the same.

"I can't do that, and we both know why." Our
eyes meet, and in his, I see regret and loneliness. "You have to
promise to take care of him for me until I can come back.
Promise."

"No," he whispers. "I won't be here. I'll be
looking for you."

With that, he pulls away. There're a million
things I could say to him, but none of them would change his mind.
He's like me in that regard. Or I'm like him.

"I love you, Lev," I say as he starts to
shimmer out of sight.

"I love you, too," he whispers.

I jerk upright to find I’m gasping for air;
tears stream down my face. Once again, a dream has reminded me my
life has become far different than I ever thought it could be, and
so not in a good way.

Then again, whoever expects to fall in love
with one angel while being chased by others because you've
inherited a power you neither asked for nor wanted in the first
place? If someone else has this kind of life, I really want to
know. Maybe we can be therapists for each other or something.

The room is cold, and I shiver. For just a
second, I listen for the sound of rain, wondering if it continued
through the night, but there is only silence; I force myself to the
window to peek out at a beautiful autumn day with pale sunlight
dappling the ground from amid high tree branches. I grab my bag and
sort through the clothes to find something new to wear so I can hit
the one grocery store in town.

Although Hauser's Landing and Tellico Plains
are miles apart, they sure do remind me of one another, and not
necessarily in the best ways.

Although I usually like a long, hot shower,
something about being in a strange place makes me rush through it.
Oh yeah—that and my growling stomach.

So after a hasty shower, I get dressed, brush
through my hair, and get back into the Jeep to drive around a bit.
Although I'm not really thinking about where I'm going, I must be a
little bit sentimental about this place because I end up driving
past the old house that seemed to take forever to sell.

Before I get to it, I'm thinking maybe my
memory makes it seem more run-down, but then, seeing it, I know my
mind has actually minimized how it looked.

The driveway is empty, and I pause for just a
minute as I'm driving past, my eyes shooting toward the garage
where the word "Half-breed" had been painted before Lev covered it.
It seems like a lifetime ago and yet I remember everything so
clearly, including falling madly in love with Lev.

Shaking my head, I force myself to push the
gas pedal and drive to the grocery store. I used to think nothing
ever changed in small towns, but I must be wrong; nobody recognizes
me at the store. Considering how much of a local celebrity I was,
that has to mean something about change.

It wasn't that I sought the reporters.
Actually, I tried to avoid them after Lev's death, but there was so
much media hype over my dad's body being discovered and a respected
history teacher being arrested for Lev's murder that I couldn't
really have escaped the attention unless I’d fallen off the face of
the earth or we moved.

Now I’ve come back and returned to the
‘nobody’ status I once prized. Believe me, I can't tell you what a
relief that is.

I load my cart with low-maintenance foods
because even though Griffin has given me free reign of the place,
that doesn't mean I want to feel as though I've got a new home.
This is just temporary, until I can figure out the waypoint on the
map.

Or the Triune catches up with me. That's not
an appealing thought, but it is a real possibility and something to
consider. Once I've paid and everything has been bagged, I drive
back to the cabin and unload my purchases before scarfing a
sandwich or two. My stomach thanks me by calming down.

Then the boredom hits. The sheer solitude
would do me in. I'm grateful for the free stay in this place, but
there's no television, no music, and no books. Even my cell phone
won't work. So that pretty much sends me out so I can take some
pictures and enjoy a little bit of time reacquainting myself with
the beauty this place does have to offer.

That decided, I grab my camera and head out
the door. At first, I consider driving to the cemetery but, at the
last moment change my mind and turn into the parking lot for the
trail that goes past the falls. It's kind of weird thinking about
getting out here, considering what happened the last time I was
here. The last thing I need is to fall over the rail; this time,
Lev won't be there to catch me.

Frowning, I try not to think of all the
things that hurt. Instead, I pocket my keys and grab my camera
before locking my door and starting up the trail.

It's definitely much colder here, but at
least it hasn't snowed. Something small to be grateful for. I peer
at the sky, which is still colored by the sun, and I find myself
grateful that there are no rain clouds hovering nearby. After this
many days of storms, I'm glad to have a break and see the sun for a
change.

Autumn is beautiful here, and the leaves are
in full transition, coloring the world in jewel tones before
eventually leaving the branches. That is the one thing I do like
about New England--fall. There's no more perfect place to
experience it.

I guess it's a good thing I have lots of room
on my camera's memory card because once I start taking pictures,
it's always hard for me to stop. The trail offers lots of beautiful
places to take pictures of the trees, and occasionally the river
appears between gaps in the underbrush. I photograph the deep and
wild water, but even that triggers memories, and with the memories,
Lev is always present.

And then I remember the deep ache in my heart
that can never be filled without him.

Just when I can’t take it anymore, I force
myself to start walking the trail which will eventually pass the
falls. It’s a good mile, and I’m grateful for every distraction
provided—anything to keep me from thinking too hard about all the
things I can’t change.

Taking a deep breath, I watch the birds
scatter through the trees, and I smile, remembering how much I used
to like to watch them. It’s been so long since I took a walk like
this to relax. Right now, I’m not exactly relaxed; I still feel the
weight of the world resting on my shoulders, but I know it could be
worse. At least there is peace and quiet. I don’t know how long
it’s going to last, but I’ll take what I can get.

The sound of the rushing water from the falls
tells me I’m close, which makes me walk that much faster. Although
I’ve worn a jacket, the cooler air around the falls makes me
shiver. I shove my hands deep in my pockets and round the last
corner. Although I’ve been here before, the beauty still takes my
breath away, and I stop the moment I glimpse the curtain of water
cascading toward the pool below.

I was no less troubled the last time I came
here, and I didn’t expect to find Lev’s secret, but there it was,
waiting. I start walking again and stop only when my hands touch
the cold rail. Even though the falls are quite a distance away, I
still feel the water spraying my face. On one hand, it is really
chilly, but on another, it makes me feel alive, which is pretty
amazing considering what I’m facing.

“Enjoying the view?”

I whirl around. Sarah stands there. That
should make me panic. But I think the black gun in her hand is
doing a better job of freaking me out.

“Sarah, please don’t.” I grip the rail and
try to focus on breathing. I know I don’t want to use the power,
but I don’t think I’ve got a choice. I start thinking about the
center of energy within me. I’m reaching for the white glow. I just
don’t know if I can find it quickly enough.

“Why not? You ruined my life. I think one
good turn deserves another.” She raises the gun. “Good thing I
decided to follow you. It’ll make it so much easier to finish
things here rather than close to Evan and Lev.”

I feel the energy within me. I envision a
ball in the pit of my stomach. My vision quickly shifts. I hear the
safety of the gun flip off.

“Goodbye, Lizzie. Have a nice death.”

Suddenly Sarah is a glow of white light, and
the pain hits as the brighter glow jumps from my body to hers. She
just stands there for a moment. I hear the gun go off. More pain.
Then I feel myself slipping into blackness.

Chapter Thirteen

Pain and chills jerk me from the blackness.
Small rocks poke the side of my face from the uneven ground, and as
I move my arm to sit up, pain shoots through it. I cry out and draw
it close to my body—as if that will make the pain go away.

My stomach rumbles uneasily, and for a moment
I feel as though I’m going to vomit. I close my eyes, waiting for
the world to stop spinning, but this is one ride I can’t seem to
get off. My head feels stuffed with rags and it’s so hard to focus,
especially with the pain. Gritting my teeth, I force myself to open
my eyes and look at my arm.

Blood. Great. I guess Sarah didn’t totally
miss, after all, and I don’t know the first thing about dealing
with a bullet wound. It’s not exactly something I ever expected to
need to know. Wincing, I see that some of the blood has soaked into
the ground; I shiver, wondering how much danger I’m in now.

I happen to glance over at Sarah’s prone
form, the gun still curled in her fingers. Her long, blonde hair
spills across her face, hiding her last expression, and my breath
catches. I killed her. Still, knowing is one thing; being faced
with what I’ve done is quite another, one I am so much less
comfortable with. I don’t want to be an executioner, but I don’t
remember the last time anyone asked me what I wanted, so I guess
that really doesn’t matter much, does it?

Which brings me to the next problem. If the
Triune is tracking me based on power usage, they’ll be coming here.
There’s probably no way they missed the surge that just killed
Sarah. It would appear my luck is finally running out.

I grip the rail, struggling to stand. It’s
not easy considering how weak I am. As I finally manage to get to
my feet, the world spins violently, forcing me to keep holding
on.

How long have I been here?

I look down at my watch, but the glass face
is cracked, probably from when Sarah shot me; the hands have
stopped. Time is frozen at 11:30. My vision goes a little haywire,
and I blink two or three times to clear it.