Anathema (16 page)

But to where, I wonder?

I risk a glance in the rearview mirror.
Despite the rain-smeared glass, I definitely see the glow of the
angel floating toward the community center.

I shudder, and it seems as though I am
paralyzed. All I can do is breathe as I keep thinking how this
can't be happening. How it's all some mistake. How things weren't
supposed to go like this. The best laid plans and all that
crap.

I'm torn between turning around and facing
the music I can't ignore or just driving away. Rationality wins as
I realize that even if I go back, all I can do is make things a
bigger mess. If I’m not present, there’s no conflict, at least not
until the Triune finds me. If it does. If I return to stand with
Celia, Lev, and Evan, there’ll definitely be a confrontation they
don't need to be mixed up in.

Either way, there's bound to be something
that goes wrong, so I have to make a decision—stay or leave.

An image of Lev on that floor, weak and
screaming, is what makes up my mind. I have no doubt he would fight
to the death for me, but maybe I've already killed him. Still, on
the off chance he’s still breathing, I'm going to make a run for it
and put as many miles between the two of us as possible, that way,
he won't be in danger from the Triune or me.

I take one last look at the aura floating
ever closer to the center and start the jeep. I have to wait for a
passing Chevy before I pull out onto the road and start back to
Tellico Plains—long enough to pack my bags and grab enough money to
drive down the road and lead the Triune away from those I hold
dear.

The rain has slowed considerably as I pull
into the driveway. Once or twice, the sun has peeked from behind
the clouds, lending an unnatural shading to the sky. Fat puddles on
the driveway and sidewalk suggest it must have rained pretty much
the whole time I was gone. At first, I don't notice that Jimmie's
truck isn't where it should be, not until I pull into his parking
space—and when it finally occurs to me, I wonder if Evan called and
told him I freaked out and took off. Just another thing to thank
Evan for, I'm sure.

Gritting my teeth, I grab my handbag and jump
out of the Jeep. I rush to the front door, expecting to find it
locked, yet the knob turns easily in my hand. As I fly through the
house, I glance around, expecting Jimmie will suddenly appear from
the kitchen or the living room. Instead, it feels like a ghost
house—empty and abandoned—which sets me on edge even more.

As I head down the hall, I notice Griffin's
door is closed. It’s probably better that way; I can't see me
getting much packing done if he’s following me around with a
million questions about where I'm going and why. Of course, this
time there’s no Jayzee to distract him, so I’m not sure how that
would go, anyway.

And I don’t even know where I’m planning to
go. I just start shoving clothes and stuff into my small suitcase,
and when I open the door to grab the toiletries from the bathroom,
I almost run into Griffin as he leans against the doorframe,
blocking my exit.

“Hey, Lizzie. How long have you been here? I
didn’t even know you were back until I heard you rummaging
around.”

“Not long,” I say, hoping my body kind of
blocks my packing. But I know Griffin’s not stupid. He glances
around me and his eyes widen as he takes in the suitcase.

“Mind telling me what’s going on?” He folds
his arms across his chest and keeps blocking me.

“I don’t have time, Griffin.”

“Well, make time, Lizzie. I don’t know what
you’re running from, but it won’t solve anything. I can promise you
that.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I
snap and force my way past.

“The hell I don’t!” he retorts, following.
“You tried to run away last time, and look how that went.”

“At least I didn’t almost kill anybody.” The
words are out of my mouth before I can take them back, and my
shoulders sag beneath the weight. I stop and try not to think about
anything, knowing if I process what’s happened I’ll start crying.
And if I start, I’ll never be able to stop.

“What happened?” He walks up behind me and
sets his hand on my shoulder. I shudder at his touch and try to shy
away, but he refuses to budge.

“Doesn’t matter. I have to go. The others are
coming.”

Griffin grabs one shoulder and whirls me
around. “Okay, fine, if you want to go, Lizzie, but at least
explain things to me first. I don’t understand why you’re so
anxious to leave. We can protect you.”

“No, you can’t.” I take an uneven step
backwards and already feel myself tearing up. “No one can.”

“Why are you leaving? You owe me that
much.”

I finally nod, knowing he’s right. “Evan was
trying to train me. The powers were too much, and I hurt Lev. I
might have…killed him. I don’t know. I took off. And then I saw one
of the angels from the Triune. It was coming for me. I have to go;
I can’t put them in the position of going against everything they
believe. This is my battle, not theirs.”

“Is Celia all right?” he asks softly,
frowning.

“Yeah, but she won’t be if I stick
around.”

Griffin shakes his head. “This is wrong,
Lizzie. I can feel it. You shouldn’t be alone.”

I reach out and touch his face. “I know you
care about me, but I hurt someone. I hurt Lev, and I killed Jayzee.
I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I have to go.”

He grabs my hand. “Where, Lizzie? Where are
you going?”

“Back to Hauser’s Landing. I’ll lay low until
I can figure out something.” I gently pull my hand away and start
toward the bathroom.

“Here.” Griffin reaches into his pocket and
fishes out his keys. He takes one from the ring and gives it to me.
“You can hide here.”

I look at the key. “What’s this for?”

“My father’s cabin—the one by the falls. He
never uses it anymore, so he won’t know you’re there. It’s the
perfect hiding place.”

“Thank you.” I rush forward and wrap my arms
around him. “But you can’t tell anyone, Griffin. Their safety
depends on not being able to find me.” I pull back and look at
him.

He nods. “I got it. I won’t tell. Just stay
safe, okay? Please?”

I smile and nod, getting ready to promise
something I have no business promising.

Chapter Twelve

I try not to think about leaving my home
forever and never being able to see Lev again. That thought just
hurts too much. I have to believe he survived; I can't stand to
think of this world without him. Even if I can't be with him, at
least if he's still around, I'll find a way to be okay with it.

The rain is my constant companion during the
long drive I never expected to make again. I thought I'd left
Hauser's Landing for good. That just goes to show what I know.

I'm guessing Jimmie is probably freaking out,
and Griffin is more than feeling the pressure of knowing where I am
but concealing it, anyway. The angels, on the other hand, are sure
to have other things to occupy their time, like three judgmental
angels they didn't expect would come so fast. Part of me is shocked
by that as well, and my paranoid tendencies keep me looking in the
rear-view mirror as if I'm being followed, which is probably a
stupid idea. I'm guessing they’re tracking the use of the power, so
if I don't use it, perhaps that’ll keep them from finding me.
Besides, what's the likelihood of finding an angel in Hauser's
Landing? The only three I ever discovered from there are gone.

Of course, if Griffin lets the cat out of the
bag, they might find me, which definitely wouldn't be good.

The hours pass as I drive and listen to
classic rock when the stations come in and static when they don’t.
I've never gotten around to putting in a CD player because this
Jeep is so old. I should look into it one of these days, though; I
hate driving with only the rain and rude drivers honking their
horns as company.

It's the middle of the night by the time I
drive into Hauser's Landing, and what creeps me out more than the
darkness is the fact that so little of the town seems changed since
I moved away. It's like time just stops in this place.

It's a really good thing Griffin can draw
maps because I'm directionally challenged, especially at night, and
everything gets so twisted and turned around for me. Jimmie calls
it my direction Dyslexia, and sadly, he's right.

The cabin is pretty well hidden in the woods,
and when I pull into the drive, I have to follow it a bit just to
find the cabin itself. For a moment, I just sit kin the Jeep and
stare, wondering if I have the right place. There're no cars, which
means that hopefully even if it isn't the right spot, I won't
disturb anybody by trying to unlock the door. All I'd need is to be
arrested for trespassing.

Mustering my courage, I force myself to get
out of the Jeep with my duffle bag slung over my shoulder and pad
up to the door, my keys already in hand. It's not a full moon, and
there’re no exterior lights so I struggle to get the key into the
lock. Once it slips in, I hold my breath, praying I can turn
it.

The key works, and I open the door. Part of
me still worries I have the wrong place and I'm going to get into
trouble, even though I know that can't be right.

I take a deep breath and flip on the lights
to find a cozy place decorated in green and cream. The couch is a
plaid design to match the curtains—and in the center of the room is
a large fireplace meant for gatherings.

On the walls I see various fishing trophies
and pictures of Griffin and his dad. This is really the first time
I've had access to Griffin's private side. He knows he comes from
money, but he would prefer to hide that fact. People tend to judge
him when they know his background, so he acts like a jerk
sometimes. That’s what they expect when they know.

I just wish I had known that when I first met
him. It would have saved me from making certain assumptions.

I take a deep breath, slough the duffle from
my shoulder, and lock the door behind me. I meander through the
place, scoping out the bedroom and kitchen. As I suspected, the
fridge is empty. Then again, unless somebody were staying here, why
would they keep food here. That's actually a good thing because it
means nobody’s planning to come back any time soon.

Although my stomach is growling, I find my
eyelids starting to close in spite of my iron will to stay awake.
Probably too many hours behind the wheel.

Before I head to the bedroom, I grab my cell
out of the duffle bag and turn it back on. Not surprisingly, there
isn't any signal, which is actually just fine with me; I really
don't want to deal with the zillions of messages I know are
waiting.

I flip out the light and curl up on the bed,
feeling more alone now than ever as I lie waiting for sleep to
come. There's definitely a temperature difference between Tellico
Plains and Hauser's Landing, and I reach for the blanket to drive
the chill. I'd forgotten about winter in Massachusetts, something
I'd never really missed.

Closing my eyes, I think of Lev and try not
to remember those moments in the community center when he was in
such pain and there was nothing I could do. I had already done
enough.

At first, it seems I'm never going to be able
to drift off. I keep hearing the distant tick of a clock in the
room but cannot see the pale glow of it—not that it matters. I'm
not sure what I'll do with time now.

Or what it will do with me.

Still, I feel my body take on weight and my
eyes grow heavy as I slip into that black chasm.

I stand in a meadow where warm sunlight pours
down around me. Scores of daisies dance in a gentle breeze that
smells of sweet honeysuckle blossoms. It's a beautiful, perfect day
as I spin, my full white dress billowing in the breeze.

Lazy clouds tumble across the sky, and I
watch the slow changing of shapes, amazed by their magic.

"Elizabeth?"

I whirl to see Lev in the distance. He wears
light brown jeans and a soft cotton shirt as white as the daisies
at my knees. His golden hair sparkles in the bright light.

He walks effortlessly through the flowers,
and I wait for him, anticipating the moment I can reach for his
hand and touch him. It seems like it's been so long since we've
been together.

So long.

"Lev," I whisper, pulling myself to him and
holding on tightly. He slips his arms around me and returns the
embrace. "I've missed you."

"And I you, Elizabeth. Why did you leave?" He
pulls back enough to read my expression, a frown furrowing his
forehead.

"I had to." I try to pull away, suddenly
uncomfortable with this conversation. It's like there’s something
I'm missing, something I should remember but don't. And Lev knows
what it is.

“
No, you didn’t. Right now, everybody is
worried and no one knows where you are.”

“
I’m fine. I can handle it.”

He folds his arms across his chest. “You can
handle it? No, you can’t. This isn’t like Colin and Kane. These
angels don’t spend time on earth, and they are not accustomed to
humans, Elizabeth. You face them head-on, and it will likely end up
with you dying, and I don’t want that.” His blue eyes appear
deeper, a furious ocean swept up in a storm.

“
So you’d rather I just hang around and
kill you and Celia? Is that your game plan?” I ask as the memories
come swimming back. “Well, since I don’t think you can figure out
anything better, I think I’ll just stick to my plan, thank you very
much.”

The sky is still blue and the flowers are
still gorgeous, but I find myself suddenly angry at Lev. At least I
know he’s still alive, but how in the world has he sneaked into my
dreams again?

Or is all of this just the product of my
exhausted imagination?