And Playing the Role of Herself... (5 page)

"Oh god," I groaned and closed my eyes. In my beer commercial days, I hawked Balentine Pilsner, a German-style beer, brewed in America, with an Irish name. It was surprisingly popular, especially with the college crowd. "You're kidding."
"Nope, his exact words." She was quiet for a few seconds. "I'd like you to."
I opened my eyes and looked over at her. She'd been watching me, but looked away.
"You'd like me to what?"
She looked back. "Meet him. Maybe we could all have dinner sometime. You could bring…a date, if you want…I mean, if you're seeing anyone…" Her voice was rushed, and then trailed off. She looked back at the falls.
Wonderful. Girl-talk about my love life with the object of my unrequited affection.
"I'm not," I said with a wry smile. "Frankly, I don't know how you have time for it. I usually fall into bed as soon as I get home. I can hardly get up the energy to brush my teeth, much less date. And that would be nice, by the way."
She had been listening intently, and frowned at the last bit. "Pardon?"
"Dinner," I clarified. "Or something, with you and Josh. If it's okay that it's just me, sans-date."
"Just you will do just fine. Tomorrow night?" she asked hopefully.
"Umm…" She'd caught me off-guard. I ran through my schedule for the next day. "We're shooting in the city tomorrow, so I probably won't be done until eight or so…"
"Come to the house. Josh will grill. He can't boil an egg, but the boy can grill." She touched my arm briefly. "Unless that's too late?"
Her head was cocked slightly to the side, watching me with those impossibly dark eyes. She'd left the hat in the car, and whips of dark hair had come loose from the braid and blown across her face.
I struggled to breathe, overwhelmed by a sudden flood of emotion. Sometimes just looking at her did that to me. She was so damn beautiful…it made me ache.
"No, it's not too late. I'd love to." I managed.
She smiled brilliantly, our eyes met, and the ache intensified.
I jumped to my feet, brushing the dirt off my jeans and gathering the remains of our lunch. "We'd better head back."
"Oh…yeah." She sounded disappointed, but slowly climbed to her feet. "I guess so." Her hand brushed down my back, leaving a trail of delicious tingles in its wake. "Thanks, Caid. This was really nice. Is this a regular thing for you?"
I looked around for a moment, regaining my equilibrium, and shrugged. "Depends, I guess. I like to get away from the set when I can, and there are lots of spots in Angeles within a half-hour or forty-five minute drive…I picked this one because it was close, and I didn't know how far you wanted to walk in sandals. I usually like to hike a little further."
"I'll leave a pair of hikers in the trailer so next time, I'll be prepared." She was stretching her arms over her head, leaning one way and then the other to loosen her back, and didn't notice the huge grin on my face.
Next time.
Hot damn. I liked the sound of that.
I packed away our trash and unwrapped the brownie, breaking it in half and handing one part to Robyn.
"Energy," I said, "for the long, brutal hike back."
She eyed the treat before taking it with a sigh of resignation. "If I keep hanging out with you, I'm going to have to add another mile to my morning run."
I grinned, and took a bite, chewing happily. "You run?"
She nodded, nibbling on her portion daintily. "Yeah, I started in college…just kind of a habit now. I swim, too, a couple times a week. It was either that, or stop eating, and I love to eat."
That explained the long, sinewy arms and well-muscled shoulders.
"How far do you usually run?"
"Around five miles, I guess."
I nodded. That was about what I did most mornings, too. Casually, I said, "We should go together sometime."
She smiled. "Sounds like a good idea. It'd be nice to run with someone again…I used to run with Josh, but he's got this whole, 'I am a professional athlete and must crush you' thing going on." She said the last with an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent. "I finally told him to go try to crush someone else. Now he pays someone to get crushed."
I laughed, and stuffed the last bit of brownie into my mouth before leading the way back to the trail, and we started back walking side by side.
"I promise not to crush you. In fact, with those endless legs of yours, I imagine you'll be the one doing the crushing."
Jesus. Did I just say that?
Robyn shot me a curious look, but didn't comment. "It's a deal."
We walked quietly for a few more minutes, Robyn dropping back behind me when came up on a group of three chatty, middle-aged women going towards the falls. The woman at the head of the group blinked at me in recognition.
"Hi," I said, and smiled when her eyes widened in surprise.
"Hello, ladies." Robyn's throaty voice drew the woman's attention away from me, and her eyes widened further, to near saucer size. She slowed as we passed, watching us open-mouthed. The two women behind her, absorbed in conversation, bumped into her back with squawks of surprise. Robyn and I walked on, smiling slightly at the furious whispering behind us.
Robyn took two long strides and was beside me again, looking around at the canyon walls with a contented smile. She looked at ease, comfortable in this kind of activity.
"I don't suppose you mountain bike, do you?" I asked suddenly.
"I haven't before." She looked over at me and smiled. "But I've been wanting to try."
Hot damn.
##
I pulled Twila into her parking space thirty minutes later, laughing when Robyn patted her gently on the dash and whispered, "thank you".
"Maybe you should get your own, Robyn." I got out, grabbed my duffel from the back and slung it over my shoulder.
She fell into step beside me. "Don't need to now - I'll just have you chauffeur me around."
I think she expected a comeback, but I had absolutely no problem with it, so I just smiled.
We walked to the trailer, and I entered first, stopping abruptly when I saw a haggard looking Liz on my couch.
"Caid…" She made as if to rise, then sank back down when she spotted Robyn behind me. She looked from me to Robyn, frowning.
Robyn stepped slightly in front of me, her stance relaxed but perceptively aggressive. I looked over at her in surprise.
Robyn, defending me? The thought made me ridiculously happy, regardless of whether it was true or not.
I put my hand on her arm gently and stepped back in front of her. "Liz…I'm glad you're here…"
Liz's eyes darted to each of our faces, then down to where my hand was still on Robyn's arm. Her frown deepened. She stared for a moment, then shook her head slightly and stood.
"Hi Robyn," she flicked a glance at the dark-haired woman, and then settled her eyes back on me. "Do you mind if I talk to Caid a minute?"
Robyn gave me a searching look, and I smiled, assuring her that it was okay. She looked back at Liz. "Sure, Liz. I need to get back to
ITD
anyway." She placed a light hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. "Thanks for lunch, Caid. It was the nicest lunch I've had in quite a while. I'll call you about tomorrow?"
I nodded, smiling. Robyn threw with one final glance at Liz, then left.
Liz frowned after her as the door closed. "What's up with her?"
I shrugged and watched her, trying to gauge her mood. I was hoping she was here to talk things out, but it was just as likely that she was here to yell at me…maybe I shouldn't have sent Robyn off, after all.
She turned to me abruptly, and pulled me into brief but forceful hug. Liz wasn't normally very touchy, and I was surprised into stillness. Before I could respond, she stepped back, looking embarrassed.
"Liz…"
"Here." She thrust something at me, and I automatically opened my hand to receive it. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch, Caid. I never wanted to be that way with you."
I looked at the objects in my hand. Three miniature Cookies 'N Cream candy bars.
"Paula said that maybe I should get you flowers or something, but I know you hate crap like that, since they just die and stink up your trailer, and hell, everyone always sends flowers to suck up, and I know you're a freak for these stupid chocolate things…" Liz rattled on, and I just watched her, smiling slightly.
I
was
a freak for these stupid little candy bars. Maybe four people in the world knew that about me. Liz had remembered, and without Paula's help.
I loved it when people surprised me in a good way.
"…I was just so goddamn mad at Grant for blindsiding me like that…"
"Liz, it's okay."
She paused. "Really?"
I nodded. "Really."
Her whole body slumped in relief, and she sank down on the couch. "Thank god."
"But for the record," I added, "Charming Liz is still my favorite."
She bit her lip. "I'm really sorry, Caid."
"I know you are, hon." I unwrapped one of the candy bars and offered it to her. "Want one?"
She grimaced. "God no. Those things are disgusting. I don't know how you eat them. They look like squares of lard with ants in them."
The candy paused on its way to my mouth. I looked at it - really looked at it - and saw that she was right.
"When in your entire life have you seen a square of lard, woman?" I popped the candy into my mouth, trying not to think of lard and ants.
She sniffed. "I know what lard looks like."
"Because you cook with it so often."
"Hey, I watch Iron Chef…those guys are big on lard." Her eyes widened. "Holy shit, the other night I saw them do this thing with some fucked up kind of melon and a part of a shark that should never be shown on television…."
My loud laugh echoed off the walls of the trailer. I loved this woman, and it was nice to be reminded why.
She stopped mid-sentence and frowned. "What?"
"Liz, don't ever change."
She smiled beautifully. "Well of course not, Sugar. Why mess with perfection?"
Why not indeed.
I laughed again and sat down on the couch next to her.
"So we're okay?" she asked again.
"We're fine."
She turned to me, suddenly very serious. "You're one of the only real friends I have around here, Caid. I couldn't stand it if something messed that up."
"I'd be pretty damn upset about it too Liz," I said, and patted her on the thigh. "And I think you have a lot more friends around than you think."
I leaned back in the cushions with a deep sigh. Already today I'd learned that my future on
9P
was about to take a very interesting turn, come very close to ending my career, nearly lost a good friend, embarked on a promising friendship with a woman I wanted far more than friendship from…It had been one hell of a day, and it was barely halfway over.
"Speaking of friends - you and Robyn seemed pretty chummy. I didn't know you two hung out."
"We hadn't, before today. I needed to get away from the set for a while, and Robyn came along."
"Oh, Caid…you didn't take her on one of your nature hikes, did you?" She wrinkled her nose in distaste. I'd asked Liz along on one of my trips once, after which we both agreed I would never ask again. Nature was not Liz's thing.
"She liked it," I said, somewhat defensively.
"I knew there was something off about that woman…"
"There is not!" The vehemence in my voice startled both of us.
"Whoa, Caid, I was joking. I actually kind of like Robyn. Anyone who can shut Arturo up with a look is okay in my book."
I rubbed my face and sighed. "Sorry, I'm a little on edge today, I guess."
We sat in silence for a few minutes. I looked at my watch, noting I needed to be in makeup soon.
"Caid?" Liz was staring into space, a puzzled expression on her face.
"Hmm?"
"Why do you think no one thinks I'd kiss a woman?"
Oh boy. I knew those stupid numbers would worry her.
"I don't know, Liz, but I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's just a test group."
She nodded, and fell silent for a while.
"Have you?"
I'd been idly studying the ceiling, and turned my head towards her. "Have I what?"
"Kissed a woman?"
"No," I answered honestly, after a moment of hesitation.
But I've wanted to. God, how I've wanted to. During the scene with Robyn, today at the table-read, at the falls, and every damn time Robyn walks in the room…
"Have you ever wanted to?"
I drew in a surprised breath, and Liz looked over at me curiously.
I sat for a moment, then cleared my throat and said quietly, "Yes."
She nodded thoughtfully. "That must be it. I never have. Wanted to kiss a woman, I mean."
I stared. I wasn't sure what reaction I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't calm logic.
She pushed herself off the couch using the armrest and one of my knees. "Well, I've got a two o'clock call time. Paula's going to be over here pounding on the door any moment. Might as well save her the trip." She stopped at the door. "I'm glad we're okay, Caid."
I found my voice. "Me too."
She opened the door, and looked over her shoulder. "And you're not off the hook about this kissing a woman thing. We'll talk about
that
later."
The door closed with a loud
snick
.
I groaned, and put my face in my hands.
Great. Just great.

I pushed the lit doorbell and waited nervously; shifting my feet and gripping the bottle of wine I carried tightly. The arched wooden door was carved with intricate Mexican designs, in keeping with house's white stucco and red-tiled roof that blended nicely with the abundant greenery surrounding it.
The door rattled and I drew a deep breath, plastering what I hoped was a pleasant smile on my face. The heavy wood swung inward to reveal a tall, blonde-haired man with light blue eyes and a mega-watt smile, currently aimed at me.
"Ms. Harris," he held out a large hand, "It's great to meet you. Josh Riley."
Like I didn't know who he was.
In photographs, Josh Riley was an attractive man, but in the flesh, he was quite a bit more than that. I felt an instant, visceral reaction, and had to squelch an urge to touch him to see if he was real.
Good god. No wonder people followed these two around, wanting pictures.
Slightly dazed, I took his hand. "Caidence Harris. Please, call me Caid."
His grip was strong without being overbearing.
"Caid," he said, as though trying it out. He grinned. "And you should call me Josh."
Before releasing my hand, he tugged me lightly through the door and closed it behind us.
I held up the wine. "Robyn said not to bring anything, but my mother would kill me if I showed up empty handed."
"Ah. Fully house trained. No wonder Robyn likes you." He took my hand again. "I'll let you deliver that yourself. Robby's just in the kitchen, I think."
I let him pull me further into the house, slightly disconcerted by his complete disregard of the physical boundaries that normally existed between virtual strangers. He led me past a curving, stone stairway going up to our left, and down a wide hallway, our footsteps muffled by expensive-looking woven rugs that covered smooth tile floors.
A railed landing at the end of the hall overlooked a huge, open living room with a two-story wall of glass offering a breathtaking view of Los Angeles at night.
I stopped, pulling Josh to a halt as well. "Wow."
"Nice, isn't it?" He tugged me towards a stairway. "You should see the view of the mountains in the daytime. That's really why she paid out the ass for this place."
"I bet," I murmured, following Josh down the stairs, still gazing at the view.
At the bottom of the steps, Josh paused, glancing around. "Robby? Your guest is here."
"Caid." The husky voice affected me like a jolt of electricity and I dropped Josh's hand hastily, afraid my feelings could somehow be transferred by the contact. Robyn emerged from an arched doorway that led into a large kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "I'm so glad you could make it. Welcome."
"Thanks," I said, unable to stop the large smile that spread across my face at the sight of her. Her long hair fell loose down her back; she wore a faded green t-shirt tucked into worn jeans and no shoes.
This was by far my favorite view in the house.
She answered my smile with one of her own, and we stood like that for several moments, until Josh moved towards the kitchen.
"Where's my meat, woman? I'm starving."
Robyn threw the towel over her shoulder and stopped him with a hand to his chest. "Uh-uh. Stay out of my kitchen, grill-boy." She turned him around and motioned towards a sliding glass door leading out onto a wide deck. "Go light the grill, and I'll bring it out to you."
He pouted a little, but did as she asked, flashing me a quick grin as he walked by. Robyn watched him go with a fond smile, and motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen.
"Want me to open that?" She motioned at the wine in my hand.
"Oh. Not necessarily, unless you want to." I held it out to her, and she took it, glancing at the label and treating me to a raised eyebrow.
It was a nice wine. At least it had better be, for what I paid for it.
"I'll let you get away with it this time, but next time you come over, you really don't need to bring anything." She glanced at the label again. "I think we'll save this one for later. I've got a merlot open that I've been sipping on," she motioned to an opened bottle and half-full glass on the counter. "Or there's beer, soda…I think I've got some ice-tea made. Or a cocktail of some sort, if you'd rather."
I nodded at the open bottle. "Some of that would be great, thanks."
She picked up a foil-covered pan and handed it to me. "If you take this out to Josh, I'll bring you out a glass."
"Hey," I said, taking the pan with a mock-pout. "No one told me I'd had to work for my dinner."
"At least you've got the right shoes," she said with a smile. "Now shoo. I'll be out in a second."
I wandered through the living room and out onto the deck, spotting Josh in a corner where the deck wrapped around the other side of the house, scrubbing vigorously at a monstrous grill with a wire brush.
"Delivery for you." I walked over and set the pan down on a nearby table.
"Oh, great!" He set down the brush and rubbed his hands together in anticipation before peeling the foil back to reveal three large steaks, a pile of chopped peppers, onions and zucchini, and a dish filled with marinade.
"You are in for a treat. I don't know what magic sauce stuff Robyn puts on these steaks, but it's damn tasty."
"It looks wonderful," I said, meaning it. My stomach grumbled in agreement.
Josh and I chatted about the art of grilling until Robyn brought out our drinks, then the two of them proceeded to charm the hell out of me with their comfortable banter and obvious affection for each other. Josh told some hilarious stories about his life on tour and some of the other players, and Robyn countered with tales of her days as a model and a recent trip to the grocery store.
By the time we sat down to dinner, my sides ached from laughing, and the three of us were giggling like teenagers. By the time dinner was through, I felt as comfortable with the two of them as I had with anyone in a long, long time.
We all chipped in clearing the table and stacking the dishes in the kitchen, and then Josh announced that he needed to head home. That surprised me - I'd just assumed that this
was
home.
"Amazing how you always mange to leave just when it's time to do dishes," Robyn said dryly, slapping him lightly on the stomach.
"My timing is impeccable, isn't it?" He smiled charmingly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She leaned into him, resting her cheek on his chest, and threaded her arms around his waist. They stood like that for several long seconds, and I wanted to look away but couldn't. They were beautiful together.
Finally he kissed her dark hair, murmuring, "Love you."
"Love you too," she answered.
They untangled themselves from each other with a final, private smile, and Josh turned to me, grinning hugely.
"Caid," he took my hand and held it within both of his. "It's been a true pleasure to meet you. I hope I get to see a lot more of you."
"Me too," I said, and meant it. I stepped forward to kiss him on the cheek.
He was surprised, but pleased, and bent his head in an endearing display of bashfulness.
Well, if Robyn wasn't going to fall madly in love with
me
, I supposed she could do a lot worse.
"I'll walk you out," Robyn said, and glanced over at me. "Be right back."
I nodded and headed into the kitchen, secretly relieved to miss their final good-byes, which would no doubt be steamier than the chaste, almost sisterly one I had witnessed.
I could hear the low murmur of voices, and Josh's laughter, followed by Robyn's. Then the door closed and Robyn's bare feet padded back down the stairs.
I started rinsing off plates, stacking them by the side of the sink. Robyn came in and pulled out what I had assumed was a cupboard, but turned out to be a dishwasher.
"Clever," I noted, and started setting the plates inside while Robyn moved next to me at the sink and took over my rinsing job, handing me dishes as she finished. We were finished within five minutes, and I wiped my hands on a towel, chewing on the inside of my cheek. Robyn had been silent since she came back into the kitchen. That was probably my cue to leave.
"Well," I said, and smiled brightly, "I guess I'd better head out, too. Thanks so much for dinner…it was delicious. And Josh is a sweetheart. You're very lucky."
And he's the luckiest person on this planet.
She picked up her wine glass and swirled what was left, smiling the fond smile that I'd begun to associate with Josh.
"Yes, I'm very lucky to have Josh in my life. He's the best friend I could ever ask for." She looked over at me, hesitated, and continued. "Do you need to go home? Or can you stay for a while?"
I corralled my giddiness, fighting down the urge to grin like a maniac. "I can stay."
"Great." Her happy smile, showing even, white teeth and crinkling the corners of her eyes just a little, brought on another one of those breathless moments that I'd labeled 'Robyn Rush'. I looked down at the towel in my hands and took a few steadying breaths.
She poured us both another glass of wine, handed me mine and grabbed my hand. "Come on."
I wondered if this habit of dragging people around by the hand was one she'd picked up from Josh, or if he'd picked it up from her. Either way, I wasn't complaining, enjoying the casual contact as she led me up the stairs and along the hall towards the front door, then up the curving stairway I'd noticed when I first came in.
At the top of the stairs was a huge room with a gigantic bed on a simple log frame, the headboard filled with books.
Robyn dropped my hand, muttering, "one sec," before crossing the room to disappear into an arched doorway that led to a large walk-in closet.
I stood stock-still. I was standing in Robyn Ward's bedroom.
I glanced around nervously, shifting uncomfortably and trying not to stare at the bed. I felt like a voyeur, and it was not a pleasant feeling.
Robyn emerged from the closet and tossed a shirt at me. I snagged it out of the air on pure reflex, the rest of my body still to busy trying not to look the bed, where Robyn slept, every night, wearing god knows what, or what not…
"It's getting a little chilly."
Robyn's words drew my attention thankfully away from not looking at the bed, and I followed her through a sliding glass door, out onto another deck. This one smaller and more cozy; offering an even better view, with a low table and two large adirondack chairs taking up most of the space. Robyn set her wine down on the table and threaded her long arms through the sleeves of the shirt she had brought out, buttoned up a few of the buttons, and sat down in one of the chairs, motioning for me to take other.
I set my wine glass next to hers on the table and quickly pulled the shirt she had handed me over my head, settling it down around my torso. The cloth was soft and warm against the skin of my arms, and it smelled like her…I had to stop myself from burying my face in the folds and just breathing the scent of her in.
Difficult to explain that kind of behavior.
I settled into the chair, and we sat looking over the city, not speaking. Or rather Robyn sat looking over the city - I spent more of my time watching Robyn's profile in the dim light, wanting to trace every curve, every line, every hollow.
"This is a great place, Robyn," I said eventually, dragging my eyes back to the cityscape.
"Yeah," she sighed contentedly, "I love it here."
"I can see why."
She picked up her glass and held it balanced on her stomach, tracing the rim absently with a thin, elegant finger. "I'm going to miss it. I'll be gone most of the summer filming on another project. Lynne Wesson's latest. We'll be on location in the Florida Keys for about half of it, and then in New York for soundstage work."
I loved her hands. The fingers were long and slender, strong and graceful…she used her hands often when she spoke, and I'd caught myself several times that evening, mesmerized by the movements of those hands.
Her words finally registered, and I dragged my eyes away from her hands and leaned forward. Lynne Wesson was a hot independent director, and landing a role in one of her movies was quite a coup. "Lynne Wesson? Robyn, that's great! Hell, that's fantastic!" I touched her on the arm. "Congratulations."
She looked over at me with a pleased, slightly embarrassed smile. "Thanks. I'm a little freaked out about it, to be completely honest. I don't even know how in the hell I got the part." She laughed and shook her head. "I didn't even see the script first - I just got this call out of the blue from one of Lynne's assistants, wondering if I wanted to read for a part in her new film. Auditions were in New York and damn, I couldn't get on the plane fast enough. I met her, and after we'd talked about five minutes - kind of weirding me out because she kept staring at me - she told me I had the part, handed me the script, and left. I didn't even have to read for it. It was pretty damn strange, but I'm not complaining."
"I bet you're not. Have you done films before?"
"No…well, a made for TV thing a few years back, but nothing like this. And the part is a good one, too. The movie's about a thirty-something family man from the mid-west who just walks out on his life one day and goes to the Florida Keys to try to get some perspective but ends up getting caught up in a lot of shit…she's cast Lonnie Colchev as the lead, and I get to play his strung-out, ex-stripper girlfriend. The working title of the script is
Lost Key
." The excitement and pleasure in her voice was evident.
"Lynne Wesson and Lonnie Colchev? Damn, woman, that sounds great," I said, impressed and a little awed that she was going to be in a Lynne Wesson movie. Made my summer seem pretty pathetic.
As if in answer to my thought, she asked, "Got any projects lined up this summer?"
I laughed. "Well, none as exciting as yours…let's see…a golf tournament right after we break for the summer - and I suck at golf - a week of remodeling a house in New Mexico on the celebrity version of
Fix This House
, a couple charity 5Ks…Connie is still working on some stuff." I shrugged. "If it pans out, that's great, if not, I won't be too upset. I kinda like having the free time."
She took a sip of wine, and glanced at me curiously. "Why are you doing a golf tournament if you suck at golf?"
"Because Liz doesn't play golf, and Danny is really persuasive," I replied dryly. She raised an eyebrow, and I elaborated. "Danny is a golf freak. It's a little scary, actually, how much that game means to him. Anyway, he got asked to do this celebrity co-ed tournament, and he signed up, thinking he'd get Liz to play. The two of them talk golf all the time, so Danny just assumed she played…but it turns out she doesn't, she's just an avid watcher, and so Danny asked me…but I don't think he realizes how truly awful I am at golf. He might as well just play with Liz."