And Playing the Role of Herself... (9 page)

I pushed off the counter with a wry smile. "You have to go, I know." I turned her around and pushed her gently towards the living room.
She walked to the couch and picked up an oversized black leather bag, slipping the phone into it and pulling out a set of keys before sliding it onto her shoulder. She started towards the door slowly, and then turned to me abruptly.
"Have dinner with me tonight. I'd like…"
"Yes." I said immediately.
Her smile was like sunshine, warming me through and through. "I'll call you later." She looked at me for a moment more, and reached up a hand to brush my injured cheek. "Take it easy today, huh?"
"Yes ma'am." I smiled, somehow managing to stop myself from turning my head and brushing her hand with my lips.
She gave me another crooked grin, and was gone.
##
After Robyn left I ate, showered and dressed before driving to the site of the shoot in the Financial District downtown. Once there I struggled into my wardrobe, patiently endured Jules' annoyed attempts to make my face appear as though it hadn't recently had an encounter with a pine tree, and tried to appear perky when I presented myself to the crew.
Unfortunately, attitude did not translate to ability, and it became apparent within fifteen minutes that although Jules was able to hide the damage to my face, the injury to my ribs was going to keep me from doing any kind of physical scene. Arrest scenes, chase scenes…basically all the kinds of shoots scheduled for the day were out for me until my ribs healed for a few more days, and by eleven o'clock, Nate had sent me home with ill concealed annoyance, grumbling about 'stupid macho nature freaks' under his breath.
At home I took a few pain killers, grabbed a book and settled into my backyard hammock, managing to read a few chapters before the pills kicked in and I nodded off. I woke at three, made myself a sandwich, took a few more pain killers, and lay down on the couch where I dozed until the phone rang at 6:30.
"'Lo," I answered groggily after stumbling into the kitchen to answer it.
"You should have seen it today, Caid, we had this huge crowd of people watching us shoot, and two women practically got into a fist fight when Arturo was signing autographs…"
"Liz?" I croaked, blinking blearily at the clock.
She paused. "Well of course it's me." Her tone conveyed her disbelief that I would consider it was someone else.
"Sorry…just woke up…"
"Well, I'm glad you're awake now. Listen, Paula and I are on our way over now to bring you some dinner, okay?"
"Liz, that's nice of you, really, but I'm…"
"Caid, you need to eat." Her tone was final. "We'll be there in about twenty minutes."
"Liz…" I tried again, but she had already hung up.
"Shit." My attempts to call her back went unanswered, and finally I sighed and headed for the shower.
Twenty-five minutes later I had showered and changed into a t-shirt and pair of faded jeans and was running a hand through semi-damp hair as I opened the front door to reveal the grinning faces of Liz, Paula, Danny, Micah, and Josiah.
I blinked in surprise. "Hey, guys."
I received a chorus of greetings in return, and Danny hefted two large pizza boxes. "We thought you'd be hungry."
"I…"
Liz breezed past me, heading straight for the kitchen. "I wanted to pick up something from that rib place you like but Danny insisted on pizza. Do you have any wine?"
I sighed. "There's white in the fridge," I said, and resignedly stepped back to let the group in.
Micah was the last to enter. He stopped and looked down at me. "We don't need to stay, if you don't want us to. Liz said you knew we were coming, but it's pretty obvious you weren't expecting us."
I shook my head and smiled, threading my arm around his waist to give him a brief hug, which he returned carefully. "It was a surprise, yes, but a nice one. Don't worry about it."
"We won't stay long - you look beat." He nodded and moved by me.
I started to push the door closed, then caught sight of a tall, familiar form walking up my drive, curiously eyeing the three extra cars parked there.
Good God.
I pulled the door open and leaned against the doorframe, not even bothering to hide my appreciative gaze as I watched Robyn approach. She was dressed to be appreciated, after all, and walked with a confidence that said she knew it. Her hair was loose and wild down her back, and she wore a tight black leather skirt that stopped mid-thigh, stiletto heels held on by two skinny black straps, and the real attention getter; a silvery, gauzy top that consisted of two strips of cloth covering her breasts and not much else, casually displaying miles of smooth, tanned skin and toned muscle.
I was mesmerized by the play of muscles beneath that skin as she walked, and the slight hallows just above the low waistband of the skirt. I wanted to put my lips there, in those hallows; feel that skin against my cheek, run my tongue…
"Caid? Hello?"
I didn't know how long she'd been standing in front of me, watching with a hint of a smile curling her lips as I stood gawking. I slowly dragged my eyes up, blinking slowly as though waking from a dream.
I didn't think about what I said next, I just blurted out what I was thinking. "Jesus, Robyn, you look amazing."
Real smooth, Caid
. I thought, but then was rather happy with myself when I saw the startled but undeniably pleased expression on Robyn's face.
"I…thank you, Caid." Her lips curled up even more, into a full smile.
I shrugged, and cleared my throat, giving her a shaky smile. "Just stating the obvious."
One dark eyebrow crept into sight over the rims of the dark glasses she wore. "Why, Caid Harris, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were flirting with me."
Her tone was light, teasing, and I replied in kind. "Why, maybe, Ms. Ward, you don't."
She frowned - I could see the slight furrow in her brow behind her glasses. "Maybe I don't what?"
"Know any better," I said lightly, wondering at my sudden spurt of boldness.
I saw a flicker of movement behind dark lenses, and her smile faded. "What…"
"Caid," Danny bellowed from inside, causing us both to jump. "What the fuck are you doing…" He came careening into the entryway and stopped short. "Robyn."
Damn. Bad timing, Dano.
"Danny," she said, shooting me a surprised look.
"Whoa. You look fucking incredible," he said after an eyeing her up and down. I smiled slightly at that, agreeing whole-heartedly. "Got a hot date with the tennis bum?"
Oh.
I'd been so overwhelmed by her appearance that I hadn't stopped to wonder why she was dressed to annihilate. I doubted dinner with me called for an outfit like this.
"Thanks, Danny. And yes, we're going to a party one of his sponsors is hosting." She turned to me with an apologetic look. "That's why I stopped by, to tell you I'd have to cancel tonight."
Josh wins again
. The unkind thought came unbidden, and I pushed it to the back of my mind.
"I understand." I gestured at Danny, then behind me. "Turns out I've got some company for the evening, anyway."
Without meaning it to, my tone had become cool, and Robyn pulled off her glasses and looked at me searchingly. "I really am sorry, Caid. I'd forgotten about this, and Josh only reminded me this afternoon. I would have called…"
Someone yelled for Danny, and Robyn looked past us into the house as he excused himself. "Just how many people have you got in there?"
"Danny, Micah, Josiah, Paula…and of course Liz."
She raised an eyebrow. "You're a popular gal, aren't you?"
I shrugged. "I left the set early today - they decided to come by and check up on me."
Concern flashed across her face. "I heard about that - I wanted to call earlier, I didn't want to disturb you. Are you okay? How are you feeling?"
"I couldn't do much today. They had me set up to chase some guy down a set of stairs, and I made it about three steps and nearly passed out. Nate wasn't too happy with me."
"Nate's an ass sometimes," she said bluntly, "but he'll get over it."
"Yeah, I know, he always does. I slept most of the day, took some pain pills…feel a lot better, doesn't hurt quite as much."
"Good." She nodded, and looked at me intently. "You look better than you did this morning, anyway."
Uncomfortable under her gaze, I looked past her and noticed for the first time the gray limousine idling at the end of my drive. The back door was open and Josh, in tailored black slacks, a metallic blue shirt and a black, small-collared suit coat stepped out and waved.
I waved back, unable to keep myself from smiling at him. I couldn't help it, I liked the guy. "Looks like your date is getting impatient," I commented.
She glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah, he wanted to go early." She folded and unfolded her glasses, fidgeting in a way uncommon for her. "Caid…"
"Go on," I said softly and gestured towards the car. "He's waiting."
"I'm sorry."
"I know." I nodded. "We'll have dinner some other time." I hesitated, and then stepped forward to brush my lips across her smooth, fragrant cheek. "Tell Josh hello," I whispered in her ear, and rested my hand briefly on the warm skin above her hip, stroking gently with my thumb.
I felt her whole body tremble in reaction and hid a wild grin of triumph as I stepped back.
There is something there, damnit, and I'm going to find out what it is.
"Talk to you later?" I asked.
"Uh…yeah, sure," she said faintly, and slipped her sunglasses back on before raising her face. "Later."
I watched as she walked away, glad for the support of the doorframe when I saw that her silver ensemble was held in place by one miniscule, silver strap across her back. The expanse of skin my eyes were treated to was breathtaking.
"Sometimes, I hate that woman. I could never get away with wearing something like that. I don't have the height for it. Or the back. Christ, I think I need to talk to my trainer about working on my back…Ohhhh…and is that Josh? God, he's yummy."
I jumped at least three inches off the ground at the voice behind me, and spun around, hitting my hand against the doorframe with a solid
thwack
!
"Shit! Jesus, Liz," I complained, rubbing my hand, "don't sneak up on me like that."
She rolled her eyes. "I didn't sneak, I just walked up, and you were too busy ogling Robyn's boyfriend to notice."
Yeah, you just keep thinking that, Liz
.
I stared a moment longer after the limo and finally Liz tugged my arm. "Come on. If you want any food, you'd better get your ass in there quick. You know what pigs those boys are."
I nodded absently and followed her into the kitchen, still feeling the tingle of Robyn's cheek under my lips and the heat of her skin under my palm.
"Caid, are you alright?" Paula's worried voice snapped my out of my preoccupation. I looked up to see her holding a plate out to me with two slices of pizza on it.
"Fine, just a little spacey from painkillers." I took the plate from her and breathed in garlic and oregano. "Oh, this looks great." I looked around at the group filling my kitchen and breakfast nook, smiling hugely. "Thanks, you guys. This was really nice of you."
"Thank Lizzie," Danny said with a grin as he walked by me with a plate piled with slices. "It was her idea to bring you something - we all just came along for the free food."
I looked over at Liz expectantly, waiting for her to take offense to being called "Lizzie", but she continued to nibble serenely, not batting an eye.
"Well then. Thank you Liz," I nodded at her with a smile, and took a bite of pizza, mumbling around cheese and sausage, "and the rest of you get to clean up."

"Are you nervous?" Liz's voice was casual, but I sensed a keen underlying curiosity and smiled at her feigned indifference.
Today was the day. In less than two hours, I'd be kissing Robyn.
"Of course I am," I replied honestly, seeing no reason to lie. I was nervous any time I was required to kiss someone on camera; so was Liz, we had talked about it before. She didn't need to know exactly
how
nervous, or why.
"Well," she said thoughtfully, "I guess if you're going to kiss a woman, Robyn isn't a bad place to start."
We were in Liz's trailer, finishing off a lunch of vegetarian lasagna I'd picked up from the catering truck. I was thankful to have finished swallowing, because that comment would have surely made me choke otherwise.
She waved her fork vaguely in the air. "She's got that whole animal, sexy, dark-goddess thing going on, you know?"
Dark-goddess? God lord, what had Liz been reading?
"I bet she's a handful," she said knowingly, nodding to herself.
I put my fork down and pushed the plate away. There was no way I was going to eat through this conversation.
I raised a bottle of water to my lips, pausing just in time to avoid serious spewage when Liz looked over at me and asked, "Don't you think so? I bet she's a screamer."
"Jesus, Liz…" I choked, but then bunched up my napkin and threw it at her when I saw that she was grinning. "Asshole."
"Just trying to take your mind off it, Sugar," she laughed. "That face was priceless." She turned serious, and reached out a hand to squeeze my arm. "It's just another scene, Caid. Stop worrying about it so much. And it's Robyn. Y'all are friends, right?"
I nodded, although at this point, I wasn't sure what was going on between Robyn and me. I'd called a few times to try and reschedule dinner, but she hadn't returned my calls, and I'd only seen her once since Monday night, at a cast meeting on Wednesday morning. We exchanged pleasantries like virtual strangers and afterward she hurried off without saying goodbye. I didn't know what in the hell was going on, but whatever it was, it was pissing me off.
"Well, then," Liz said, as though that made everything better.
"Yeah," I muttered, unable to keep the sarcasm from my voice.
Liz looked at me sharply, but I stood up and tossed my plate into the trash. "I'd better head over."
The scene was to be shot in Judith Tarrington's office, so the crew was borrowing the set of
In Their Defense
for a few hours, which was on a different lot a few miles away. The crew and various members of the cast were also using the
ITD
sets to shoot courtroom footage for an upcoming episode, so almost the entire cast and crew would be present for the scene.
Oh goody.
"Do you want to ride over with me and Paula?" Liz employed a full-time car and driver, and it would be easier for me to just ride over with her, but the though of having my own transportation was comforting, and at this point, I needed all the comfort I could get.
"No, thanks. I'll just see you over there."
She nodded and gave my leg a pat as I walked by. "Okay, we'll see you in a little while."
I drove myself over to the
ITD
lot and checked in with the crew, getting an updated shooting schedule and instructions to meet with the director sometime before the shooting started. I'd be doing two scenes; one with Robyn, and another with Liz on the courtroom set. The one with Robyn was scheduled first, and I couldn't decide if I was happy to get it over with or if I'd rather postpone it as long as possible.
Using one of the dressing room trailers, I changed into the outfit I'd brought over from wardrobe at
9P
, dark brown pants, low-heeled boots and a tight, sleeveless hunter green blouse. I draped the lightweight, dark brown leather jacket that completed the outfit over my arm, knowing it would be stifling on the set and not wanting to start sweating any sooner than absolutely necessary. After a final stop at makeup and hair, I headed to the sound stages, greeting arriving members of the cast and crew as I crossed the lot.
Once in the sound stage building, I made my way to the set we'd be shooting at and dropped my script in a chair with my name stenciled across it in white block lettering. I hung my jacket across the back of it and looked around the bustling set in search of the small, red-headed form of the episode's director, Susan Yazi. I finally found her conversing animatedly with someone behind a rack of lights near the rear exit of the building and I started towards them, weaving my way through crewmembers and equipment.
As I moved across the room, the person Susan was conversing with came into view and my footsteps faltered momentarily.
Robyn.
Long and lean in a severe, black Prada suit that she wore extremely well, the sight of her sent a rush of familiar emotion through me, followed by an unfamiliar flash of anger.
Robyn was the first to notice me as I approached, flicking her eyes over my shirt briefly and curling her mouth into a welcoming smile. For some reason, it annoyed the hell out of me.
She blows me off all week, and now she's here, staring at my chest and smiling at me?
I ignored the smile and nodded curtly to her before turning my attention to the director.
"Susan," I greeted her with a neutral smile, "nice to see you."
Susan Yazi barely topped five feet, and had a slight, wiry frame and auburn hair beginning to go gray. She exuded an aura of controlled chaos, seemingly constantly in motion even when standing still, and being around her always made me slightly uneasy. She also had a habit of emphasizing random - or at least what seemed like random to me - words in a sentence.
"
Hello
Caid. Robyn was just
telling
me about your bicycle mishap, are you
alright
?"
"Was she," I said flatly, flicking my eyes over to Robyn who was watching me with a puzzled expression. "How nice. I'm doing fine, thank you, Susan. Good as new."
"Good.
Good
. I wanted to talk to you and Robyn about the
scene
. I was telling her I really wanted to give you free
rein
on this,
play
with it, do what feels
right
in the
moment
, okay? I realize you might be
uncomfortable
with it, so I want you to have
fun
."
Have fun, she says. I'm probably hemorrhaging from the brain because my stress level is so high, and she says have fun.
Fantastic.
Robyn started to say something, but I cut her off.
"Sure Susan, no problem," I said with a quick nod, hiding my anger and growing anxiety. "Anything else?"
"No, no, that's all." Susan said absently as she looked across the set, not noticing or not caring about my abruptness. "Why don't you two
discuss
it? We'll start in five. Kyle! Don't leave that there!" she yelled as she moved away from us.
"Caid…" Robyn started. Without glancing at her, I crossed the floor to my chair and pulled on my jacket with jerky, uncoordinated movements. The collar turned under and I yanked at it ineffectually, stiffening when I felt a pair of hands on my shoulders, smoothing the leather and straightening the collar.
"Caid, you need to relax."
The flare of anger at her words pushed my anxiety aside for the moment, and I grabbed at it with both hands. "Excuse me?" I said, turning slowly.
"I know you're nervous, but this is supposed to be fun, remember?" She smiled, and busied herself straightening the collar of my jacket. "You need to relax."
"You think I'm
nervous
?" I asked, my voice rising.
"Well…yes," Her hands stilled and dropped away as she looked at me searchingly. "Aren't you? Isn't that why…"
"This isn't nervous, Robyn, this is pissed off!" I nearly yelled. Some of the crew around us were watching our exchange with open curiosity, and I took a breath and lowered my voice. "This is pissed off because someone I thought was a friend isn't acting like one."
She pulled back, startled by the vehemence in my tone. "Caid, I…"
I was on a roll now, anger firmly in control, the rest of me watching in sick fascination. I made a chopping motion with my hand. "Save it. You've made yourself quite clear."
Robyn's face hardened and her eyes narrowed. "Fine."
Susan's voice cut through the din. "Let's get this blocked
out
, shall we? Caid, Robyn, can you
join
us, please?"
I looked over to see where Susan was and when I turned back, Robyn was already stalking towards the set, her normal grace replaced with rigid stiffness.
"Fine," I muttered, and stalked after her.
The anger fueled me through the thirty minutes it took for Susan to block and plan the scene how she wanted it and helped me ignore the fact that more and more people were trickling into the building and standing around the set, waiting and watching. Grant was there, standing behind Susan and occasionally leaning forward to give an opinion, along with nearly all of the rest of the executive producers and co-producers, writers, cast, crew…
Don't think about it. Just…focus on what needs to be done.
Susan wanted the scene shot in two sections: our entrance to her office while we argued, then the kiss. I started to relax as we worked through the first section, the familiar actions and sounds calming some of my anxiety. The anger was still there, though, on both sides, and it sparked between us during the scene's verbal exchange, coloring both our performances and making Susan a very happy director.
"Great
job
, you two," she called after stopping the action. "I like the
interaction
. Try to keep that
up
in this next part, okay? Robyn,
you
set the pace, you're the aggressor. Caid,
follow
her lead. Alright, let's get the
cameras
set up and get this one
done
."
And suddenly, it was time.
I went to my mark and took several deep breaths.
Easy Caid, easy. It's just a scene
.
And then we were rolling, Susan yelled "action", and Robyn was rounding the desk and prowling towards me like a predator stalking her prey, her eyes blazing with cool fury and looking so achingly beautiful that I was transfixed.
"You assaulted me, detective." Her voice was low and dangerous, and she kept moving towards me, stopping when our bodies were only a foot apart. "I could have you thrown in jail for that."
"Why didn't you?" I amazed myself by not only remembering my lines, despite Robyn's closeness, but also by dredging up some believable attitude to go with them. "You could have…"
She grabbed me by the shoulders, yanked me towards her, and kissed me.
The kiss took me by surprise, even though I'd been expecting it. It was hard and bruising, over in an instant, leaving me trembling and gasping for air.
And wanting more.
Much, much more.
And thinking that this could be the last time I had a chance to get it.
My hands were inside her suit jacket, gripping her hips where they'd gone for support the moment she'd kissed me. Now, a quick tug brought her closer and I brought our mouths together again, sensing a momentary resistance before she molded against me and her hand move from my shoulder to anchor in my hair, increasing the pressure of the kiss. I explored her lips gently, reverently; marveling at the softness and warmth and amazed by the emotions a simple kiss could invoke.
"Cut!"
Robyn's body stiffened at Susan's voice and she pulled back abruptly, giving me a wide-eyed stare before taking two quick steps away from me.
I blinked, realized my mouth was hanging open, closed it, and blinked again.
Holy shit.
"Well,
hell
. Nice
work
, ladies. I think
that's
all we
need
- it's not going to get much
better
than
that
. Very,
very
nice.
Print
that!"
Gradually the movement and noise of the set around me came into focus and several people who'd been watching surged onto the set, congratulating, teasing, and laughing. I smiled weakly and mumbled polite thanks, but my eyes were on Robyn, watching as she left the set with a crowd of well-wishers in her wake.
"I knew we'd picked the right girls." Grant's smooth voice and beefy arm across my shoulder pulled my attention away from Robyn's retreating form and I turned to face him, ridding myself of his arm without appearing to do so on purpose.
"I'm thirty-four, Grant. Hardly a girl anymore, but I'm glad that you're pleased with how it went." Job preservation skills kicked in and I smiled to take any sting out of the words.
He guffawed and pulled me into another one-armed hug, which I endured until someone else caught his attention and he left me alone. The fervor had died down quickly after a few pointed words from Susan, and the crew was starting to move the lights and cameras as I left the set, still dazed, wishing I could just go somewhere and think instead of dealing with another few hours of shooting.
Liz was waiting for me at my chair, smiling at me like a proud parent. "You see, Sugar, it wasn't so bad, was it?"
I smiled slightly. "No, it wasn't so bad at all."
She handed me the script that had been lying in the chair. "It was really good, Caid. That second kiss - I didn't expect that. Neither did anyone else, I'd say, from the reaction. Was that something you and Robyn worked out beforehand?"
"Well, uh, Susan told us to have fun with it, and go with what we thought was best…" It was the truth, right?
"Well," she said, and started walking towards the exit, obviously expecting me to follow, "if Grant's hard-on was anything to go by, I think it was just what they wanted. I could see that thing from forty feet away."
"Liz…" I grimaced, remembering Grant's arm across my shoulders. "Ick. Shut-up! I don't want to know about Grant's…"
"I mean, you couldn't miss it. Everyone knows the man is hung like an elephant, but to actually see it…I thought Susan was going to whack it with her clipboard..."
I laughed my first genuine laugh in hours, and followed Liz out into the sunshine.
##
I closed Twila's door gently and stood in the gathering darkness, biting my lip and eyeing the five cars parked in Robyn's drive with consternation.
Well, shit.
I had a vague plan that involved coming to Robyn's house and saying…
something
…but Robyn obviously had company, and company was not part of my vague plan. Not part of the plan at all. An inherent problem with vague plans is that they rarely come with a backup plan.
I looked at the cars again, beginning to doubt the wisdom of my being here at all.