Anna's Courage (Rose Island Book 1) (14 page)

A heavily tattooed and pierced couple in their early twenties strolled past, arm in arm. At that age, I truly believed Marcus and I would be together forever.

How wrong I’d been. Yet, my inexperience had allowed me to love Marcus without limits. Without fear or judgment. Maybe it was only possible to truly love another person when you were young and unafraid. I’d always believed I’d never love another man like I’d loved my husband, but Nick stirred something in me. Desire, obviously. But it was more than that. A need to let him into my life. To take a chance. To be brave.

Gabby giggled and pointed at Nick who jogged toward us. Sunlight hit his hair and the smile on his face made me tingle.

“All right,” he said, taking a seat on the bench beside me. “Your turn. I’ll watch Gabby so you can ride with the kids.”

I held on to the baby for protection and shook my head. “Thank you, but I’ll pass.”

Nick studied me carefully. “You’re not afraid, are you?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “You figured it out. Roller coasters scare me. Can you believe it?”

He rubbed a hand over his firm bicep. “What are you afraid of, Anna?”

“Dying, throwing up, flying off the track, waking up in a coma—”

He frowned. “I don’t think you can
wake up
in a coma.”

“Ha, ha.” I tapped him playfully on the arm. “You know what I mean. Amusement rides just aren’t my thing.”

He looked up at the roller coaster zooming by. “I don’t get it. You used to fly helicopters for a living, and now you don’t even ride roller coasters?”

“No.”

He pressed his lips together as if forming his words carefully. “There are a lot of things you’re afraid of, aren’t there?”

“Maybe, but why do you care?”

“Because I do.”

A powerful beat of silence followed, and my throat went dry. Nick had answered my flirty and flippant question with a seriousness I didn’t know how to interpret. His gaze locked on mine, and I thought about kissing him again. When had I become so
boy-crazy
? So
Nick-crazy
?

An older lady stopped in front of us and placed a hand on Gabby’s back. “You have a beautiful baby. She looks just like you, Mom.”

Gabby giggled and snuggled closer. “Thank you,” I said, choosing not to correct the assumption. Part of me knew the explanation would only make matters awkward, and another part of me—the part deep down—wished it were true.

After the lady left, Nick shook his head. “She doesn’t look anything like you.”

I shrugged. “People see what they want to see.”

He studied me carefully, and I held still as his eyes grazed over my face and down to Gabby. “She looks good on you. Do you ever think about having more children?”

I hesitated. “Sure, but it would have to be with the right guy. Someone who was just as good with Travis as he was with me. Someone who—”

“Wasn’t a soldier?” he suggested, his voice flat and devoid of any humor.

I nodded. “That would be part of my expectations, but he’d also need to have a good job and want to stay on the island. My in-laws have been through a lot, and I don’t want to take Travis away from them or his cousins.”

Nick removed his baseball cap and ran a hand through his hair. “I understand. Rose Island is your safe haven. Bianca, Vicki, and Jillian are your best friends, and you get along with Walter and Luella. Leaving them would be difficult.”

A gloomy mood settled between us. I hadn’t meant to offend him. I’d only wanted to be honest and protect both of us from getting hurt. I might dream about Nick and think about him all the time, but the truth was, just as much as he wasn’t the man for me, I wasn’t the woman for him. He wanted a military career, and in order to be successful, he couldn’t have a resentful wife.

Changing the subject, I asked about his progress regarding the list of prospective families for the girls. He sighed and placed a finger in Gabby’s hand. The baby lowered her mouth and began gnawing.

“It’s not a French fry,” he said, removing his finger from her mouth. He scooped her up, and she laughed, lunging for his hand again. “Silly girl.”

I smiled and gave Nick a moment to digest my question. Finally, he said, “Ever since Hailey ran away and asked me why I couldn’t keep her, I haven’t been able to look at that list. Lucy Jensen from the adoption agency keeps calling, but I don’t want to talk to her.”

“Have you thought any more about keeping the girls yourself?”

He sighed. “I want to do the right thing. I thought that meant adoption, but I’ve since read that giving up a child means waiving all legal rights. Even if we arrange an open adoption, the new parents could ultimately decide they don’t want me in the girls’ lives. I could challenge that decision in court, but I wouldn’t want to put the girls through an ugly legal battle.”

I refrained from clasping his hand and telling him everything was going to be okay. “Aren’t there single parents in the military?”

“There are,” he conceded. “But they have a lot of help from extended family. At the very least, someone needs to be appointed to your Family Care Plan in order to take care of the kids during deployment. My father won’t do that, and I don’t have any other relatives.”

“Have you talked to your dad about it?”

“No.”

I crossed my legs and swung my foot. “What about hiring someone? Like a nanny?”

“I thought of that, but what would happen if she quit? I couldn’t exactly find someone new from the battlefield.”

“True.” At that moment, I wanted to volunteer to take care of the girls while he was gone. The words were right on the edge of my lips, then rationality kicked in. I couldn’t take on the responsibility of two more children. I had a hard enough time working and raising Travis on my own. How could I possibly support myself and Travis with two additional children—one of them a baby?

Guilt pressed down on me, but I remained silent. “I’m sorry, Nick.”

He gave a curious smile. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.”

But it was. By refusing to take the girls, I left him with few options. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”

“I couldn’t even be doing this part without your help. So, thank you.” Reaching out, he took my hand. “And now, Anna Morgan, I’m going to do something to help you.”

“Me?”

He grinned. “Yep. I’m going to convince you to ride the Texas Giant.”

Nick

A
fter a wonderful
day at Six Flags, followed by pizza at the Pelican Pub, I found myself humming as Hailey helped me get Gabby ready for bed. Over the past few weeks, the three of us had fallen into an easy nighttime routine consisting of baths, pajamas, reading, and prayer.

At first, Hailey had done all the praying, but lately, I’d begun adding a few sentences of my own. Tonight, I thanked God for the lovely day and the blessing of funnel cake.

Although my father had taken Ethan and me to church when we were kids, and I still considered myself a Christian, I’d fallen out of the habit of praying or spending much time on my spiritual life. Seeing Anna live out her faith so naturally made me want a closer relationship with God.

I wasn’t quite sure how to make that happen, but I’d started reading the children’s Bible to Gabby and Hailey each night. Some of the stories seemed a little farfetched, but I loved reading about the miracles of Christ. What would it be like to walk on water? To have your sight restored after years of living in the darkness? To have Jesus remove a demon from you?

“And please help Uncle Nick find a new mom and dad for me, Gabby, and the puppies,” Hailey said, concluding the prayer with a somber
Amen!

“Amen!” Gabby repeated, clapping her hands.

I felt a pang of guilt that my niece had to worry about such an unsettling topic. The sooner I resolved this issue, the better. I tucked Gabby into her crib, gently covering her with her favorite pink blanket. “Sleep tight, pumpkin.”

“I love you,” Hailey told her little sister.

“Wuv you,” Gabby said.

“I love you, too,” I said easily. Telling the girls I loved them was becoming less awkward. I supposed the words could easily become rote, but I appreciated having a phrase that expressed how I felt. I loved Gabby and Hailey so much it scared me. With each day, I grew closer to them, making the idea of leaving more difficult.

Downstairs, I took the dogs outside to use the bathroom, then I tucked them into bed with Hailey. Despite being mutts, the puppies had quickly grasped the idea of house training, and they now slept in Hailey’s room every night.

After wishing her sweet dreams, I stepped onto the back porch and gazed up at the stars. When my cell phone rang, I dug it out of my back pocket to discover my father was calling. I hadn’t spoken to him since the fiasco on Thanksgiving, and I was tempted to ignore the call. At the last minute, I answered with a brisk hello.

“How are you, son?” Jack asked, his voice somber.

“I’m fine, sir. You?”

He hesitated. Something he never did. Was something wrong or had he hung up on me? “Dad?”

“Yeah, I’m here. It’s just that . . . I want to apologize for Thanksgiving.”

“Excuse me?” I was certain I’d misunderstood. As far as I knew, my father never apologized for anything. Ever.

“I know, son. It’s a long story, but Gina felt it was unfair of me to put business first on Thanksgiving. I’d like to apologize for that. And for overreacting with the dogs. As Gina pointed out, it was only a couch. An ugly one at that.”

I didn’t know what to say. Since my father’s fiancée had been sick over Thanksgiving, I’d still never met her, but I was beginning to like her. Or at least beginning to grow less suspicious of her.

“I hope you’ll forgive me,” Jack said, sounding nothing like himself. “I’d like another chance.”

I almost asked if this was some kind of crank call. Then I thought about what Anna had said regarding forgiveness.
Life is all about forgiveness. People make mistakes, and if you let resentment dominate your thoughts, you’ll be disappointed in life.

“I forgive you, Dad.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” I said, thinking it felt good to voice those words.

“Well, that’s great,” he stammered, as if forgiveness was the last thing he’d expected.

A moment of awkward silence ensued, then Jack said, “So, how about that Cowboys game? Can you believe that catch?”

I smiled to myself. “It was pretty incredible.”

Anna

In all my
life, I had never met anyone as ambitious, successful, and organized as PTA president Kate Tate. On Monday morning, Kate entered the salon for her appointment at precisely 11:00.

Kate was a curvaceous woman with perfectly round, lifted breasts, compliments of her ex-husband’s surgical skills. She also had perfectly colored and styled caramel brown hair that hung just below her shoulders, compliments of me.

Every time she came into the salon, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy as she talked about all she did for the school. She’d earned Rose Island’s prestigious Volunteer of the Year award three years in a row.

“I saw you’re working the face painting booth again this year,” Kate said, referring to the upcoming school carnival.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

She gave a curt nod. “And how was your date with Nick on Saturday?”

Goodness. Was there no limit to Kate’s knowledge? Apparently not.

Vicki, who was having her roots colored by Bianca, asked a question of her own. “You were pretty quiet at brunch yesterday, but now that it’s just us girls, tell us, did Nick kiss you good-night again?”

“Again?” Kate raised a perfectly arched brow. “So the two of you are definitely dating?”

“No,” I insisted, laughing it off. “Nick and I are just friends.”

“Keep repeating that, and maybe you’ll convince yourself it’s true,” Bianca said.

Kate pursed her lips. “Spending the entire day with a man definitely sounds like a date to me. And if you kissed him—”

“We took three kids to Six Flags,” I explained. “It wasn’t a date. And no, he didn’t kiss me good-night. Nick and I are strictly platonic.”
Except for two kisses, a few hugs, and some innocent hand-holding
, but I wasn’t about to divulge that information to this hungry pool of sharks.

“Afterwards, you stopped at the Pelican Pub for pizza and video games,” Vicki added. “And that definitely counts as a date.”

I stared openmouthed at my sister-in-law. “How in the world did you know about that?”

She jingled her phone in the air. “Hailey posted it last night.”

“Great,” I said, sarcastically. “So now I’m being stalked and judged based on a pre-teen’s social media status?”

Kate twisted one of her diamond stud earrings. “We’re certainly not stalking or judging you. Simply commenting on the facts.”

“Hey, if you won’t tell us what’s going on in your love life, we have to find out somehow,” Bianca said.

Kate nodded. “They do have a point.”

I smiled. Taking the kids to Six Flags yesterday had been one of the best days of my life.

In fact, every day with Nick was wonderful. Being with him just felt right. I hadn’t realized how lonely I’d been until I met him. Sure, I had a full life with friends, family, church, and my job, but spending time with Nick filled me like nothing else.

The hardest part was the guilt. I kept telling myself that Marcus would want me to be happy, but I continued struggling to believe it.

*