Anna's Courage (Rose Island Book 1) (17 page)

Relief flooded me. Nick wasn’t romantically interested in Kate, unless comparing her to one of his many stepmothers was a positive thing.

“What about me?” I asked in a snarky voice. “Which one of your father’s wives do I remind you of?”

I expected him to laugh. Instead, the moment grew serious as his eyes swept across my face and down to my lips. “Actually, Anna, you don’t remind me of anyone but yourself.”

My heart hammered. “Is that a good thing?”

“Yeah. It’s a really good thing.” His gaze stayed on my lips, and I wondered if he was going to kiss me again. Embarrassed by the idea, I looked away, warning myself not to go down that path.

Nick must’ve shared my sentiment because he shifted the conversation back to his father. “Ever since Thanksgiving, phone conversations with him have been strange.”

“Strange?”

“He actually apologized for Thanksgiving, saying he should’ve had the meal catered so we could’ve stayed home with the girls. And now, he wants to bring Gina to the island for Christmas.”

“You don’t sound happy about that.”

“I don’t trust him. Apologizing and making plans for Christmas isn’t like him.”

“Maybe he’s trying to change,” I suggested.

He gave a look of disbelief. “I doubt that.”

“What? You don’t think people can change?”

“Not really. At least, not my father.”

I paused. “You attended Sunday school growing up, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, have you ever heard of the Apostle Paul from the New Testament? He went around persecuting Christians until God transformed him into one of the greatest men in the Bible.”

Nick laughed. “Yes, of course I’ve heard of Paul who was once called Saul.”

“Well? Don’t you think if God could change Paul’s heart, he could soften your father’s?”

Nick stared down at his hands, something I noticed he did whenever deep in thought. “I wish my faith in God and humanity was as strong as yours.”

I refrained from reaching out and clasping Nick’s hand. “Have you asked God to give you the gift of faith?”

“Not in so many words.”

“You should try it sometime. He wants to connect with you. All you have to do is ask.”

Nick gave a sad smile, and I hoped I hadn’t overstepped or offended him with my talk of God and forgiveness. My faith was important to me, but it wasn’t something I wanted to shove down anyone’s throat.

And yet, Nick seemed to be searching for answers only the Lord could provide. How could I not share my faith with him?

Kate’s confident voice snapped across the cafeteria. “Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for coming to the carnival and showing your support for Rose Island Elementary School. This year, we have some very exciting prizes, including a Jet Ski donated by Island Water Sports.”

The room erupted with loud applause and whistles of approval. Gabby opened her eyes for a brief moment before closing them and falling back asleep on Nick’s shoulder. I motioned to the baby. “I can’t believe she’s sleeping through all this noise.”

“She loves the backpack, and as long as she’s there, she can sleep through anything.” He patted her little hand. “And I admit, it’s really nice having her here. Plus, the backpack has a pouch for her diapers and bottles, so I don’t have to carry around that enormous, girly diaper bag.”

I smiled, feeling the tenderness of the moment spread through me. On stage, one of the students withdrew a ticket from the first basket. Kate announced the winner, and I clapped politely.

When they reached the
Organize Your Life
basket, I crossed my fingers, but ironically, Kate’s name was called. The already competent woman giggled endlessly as she took her prize.

Nick leaned toward me and whispered, “Maybe now she’ll finally get her life together.”

A shiver rushed through me as Nick’s breath brushed against my ear. Laughing it off, I gently shoulder-bumped him, taking care not to wake Gabby. “No kidding.”

The names of more raffle winners were announced, including mine for the scrapbooking basket.

“What are you going to do with all this stuff?” Nick asked after I returned from the stage with my prize. He picked up a package of stickers, examining it as if it were from a foreign country.

I cocked my head to the side, uncertain if he was joking or serious. “Well, Bianca, Vicki, Jillian, and I get together every few months to scrapbook. I’m way behind, but maybe this basket will motivate me.”

“Scrapbook?” he asked, confused.

I nodded. “We arrange photos and other memorabilia into books for our families. Have you never heard of scrapbooking?”

“I don’t think so.”

I studied him carefully. “Are you teasing me?”

“No. Is it like a photo album or something?”

“Kind of, but it’s much more elaborate than just a photo album. Next time you come to my house, I’ll show you my books. Travis’s life has been very well documented.”

He nodded but continued to look clueless. Maybe nobody had ever compiled an album for him or Ethan. I was about to ask when loud applause echoed through the cafeteria in response for the final raffle item.

“Here we go.” Nick crossed his fingers and grinned. “Are you ready to walk back to the stage when they call your name?”

I smiled. “I don’t think so.”

“Drum roll, please,” Kate said.

The students banged their hands on the tables and floor as Kate withdrew a name from the jar. “And the winner is . . .” She glared at the paper and frowned.

“Who is it?” the principal asked, joining Kate on stage.

Kate shook her head and handed the winner’s name to Mrs. Abbott. The principal squinted at the paper and whispered something to Kate who nodded. Grabbing hold of the microphone, Mrs. Abbott said, “On behalf of Rose Island Elementary School, I’m pleased to announce the winner of the Jet Ski is . . . Anna Morgan.”

I
froze, convinced
winning the Jet Ski was a joke. I’d never known Kate or the principal to have a sense of humor, but there was a first time for everything. The audience clapped and stared right at me.

“This can’t be real,” I told Nick.

He burst into laughter. “You won! I can’t believe it, but you actually won.”

“No.” I shook my head. “They’re just teasing me.”

The audience continued applauding as the principal jingled the keys and spoke into the microphone. “Anna Morgan, please come to the stage immediately to claim your prize. It’s yours whether you want it or not.”

I shook my head with disbelief as Nick laughed so hard, tears rolled down his face. Travis bounded toward me, trembling with excitement. “We won, Mom! We won! Can you believe it? We only put in one ticket and we won.”

“I think it’s a mistake,” I said. “In fact, I’m sure of it.”

My statement caused Nick to laugh even harder. Gabby opened her eyes and began crying. Nick reached behind his back and pulled the baby into his arms. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” he said between bouts of laughter. “Sorry to interrupt your nap, but we’re in the midst of a Christmas Carnival miracle.”

I stood on shaky legs to claim my prize. At that moment, I didn’t know which I was more afraid of: winning the Jet Ski, or the terrifying sense of warmth and affection spreading through me as I watched Nick laugh.

Nick

“When are we
going to take your new toy for a spin?” I asked, walking home with Anna, Travis, Hailey, and Gabby after the carnival ended. I’d laughed so hard when Anna won the Jet Ski that my stomach ached as though I’d done a thousand sit-ups.

“How about tomorrow?” Travis suggested.

Anna shook her head. “Tomorrow, we’re going to church with Grandma and Grandpa and then to their house for Sunday brunch like always.”

“Can’t we go out in the afternoon?” Travis asked.

I tousled the boy’s hair. “Don’t worry, buddy. I’m not going to let your mom weasel her way out of this. She’s going on that Jet Ski even if I have to toss her over my shoulder and haul her down to the water kicking and screaming.”

Both Hailey and Travis laughed, but Anna didn’t seem amused by my threat. Instead, she withdrew and remained quiet the rest of the way home. When I asked if she was okay, she gave a nonchalant shrug. “Just tired.”

I saw Anna and Travis safely to their cottage before taking the girls home. Once Gabby was down for the night, I tucked Hailey and the puppies into bed.

“Uncle Nick?” Hailey called as I turned off her light. “Do you think we could go to church tomorrow?”

I’d been contemplating that same idea all the way home. “I’d like that.”

“Can we sit with the Morgans in the front row?”

I wanted to sit with Anna, but I wasn’t sure her in-laws would approve. I’d met Luella at the bakery the other day, and for being such an outgoing person, she didn’t seem pleased to meet me.

“We better sit in the back in case Gabby gets fussy and I have to take her out,” I said.

Hailey fluffed up her pillow. “Actually, the cry room is near the altar, so we should sit up front.”

Agreeing with her logic, I left her room and took my iPad onto the balcony. Moonlight danced on the water and lit up the beach. Glancing at The Blue Crab, I wondered if Anna would be pleased to see me at church tomorrow. I thought of her sweet face and smiled.

Every time we were together, I wanted to pull her into my arms. I’d been attracted to other women before, but this was different. Something about Anna made me question what I wanted out of life. She made me want to be a better man and do whatever possible to make her happy.

Placing a hand on my stomach, I pushed on the muscles that were sore from laughing so hard at the carnival. I did sit-ups on a regular basis, but tonight, I’d used muscles I didn’t normally exercise. The irony of that fact didn’t escape me.

For as long as I lived, I would never forget the look on Anna’s face when she won the Jet Ski. Of all people to win the grand prize!

Smiling at the memory of her shocked and beautiful face, I turned my attention to my iPad and logged onto my e-mail. Lucy from the adoption agency had written again, including a link that would supposedly lead to the perfect family for Gabby and Hailey. I stared at the iPad, wanting to click on the link but unable to do so.

Was it wrong to raise Hailey and Gabby by myself? Was doing so unfair to them?

As a child, I’d attended Boy Scouts with a neighbor boy. I’d loved camping, fishing, rock-climbing, and experiencing many other activities with the troop, but having a workaholic father had been tough. I’d been constantly jealous of the other boys and their involved fathers, and I swore I’d never raise a child without two parents who could share the responsibility.

And yet, Travis seemed to be thriving with only Anna. Maybe a kid’s well-being depended on the parent. After all, George Lucas, the creator of
Star Wars
, had raised three children on his own while building a multi-million-dollar empire.

I allowed myself to visualize what it would be like to keep the girls. I saw myself picking them up from daycare after work and eating dinner together. I imagined taking them to the park and the zoo on the weekends. Attending their school functions and helping with homework.

And then I pictured saying good-bye when I deployed. I saw their little lives disrupted by having me gone for months at a time. I imagined myself being distracted with worry and causing an injury at work because of my inability to focus.

Of course, another option was to follow Travis’s suggestion of marrying Anna and raising the kids together. Even though the notion struck me as crazy, I could actually see myself spending the rest of my life with her. It was a preposterous idea as I barely knew her, but in some ways, it felt as if I’d known her my whole life.

Unfortunately, she’d never agree to marry me.
No soldiers
was her dating motto. I didn’t blame her for feeling that way. I just wished things were different.

I want to do the right thing, Lord, but I don’t know what that means. Give me direction. Show me the way. Amen
.

Taking a deep breath, I clicked on the link in Lucy’s e-mail and began scrolling through the list of prospective families for the girls.

*

In the morning,
I slept through my alarm. Or rather, I’d set the time for p.m., not a.m., so it hadn’t even gone off. Frustrated, I scrambled to get ready for church. In hindsight, I should’ve planned what we were going to wear because it was only in the morning I realized all our clothes were dirty.

Rushing around the house, I found something decent for everyone to wear. Then, I put the dogs in the backyard and loaded the girls into the car. Church started in five minutes, and as long as nothing else went wrong, we could make it. I started the engine and put the car in reverse.

“Um, Uncle Nick?” Hailey called from the backseat.

“Yeah?” Turning around, I saw that Gabby had unscrewed the lid to her sippy cup and dumped milk down her only clean outfit. I closed my eyes and pushed out a deep breath of frustration.

“Does this mean we’re not going to church today?” Hailey asked.

I opened my eyes. “I’m afraid not, kiddo.”