Anna's Courage (Rose Island Book 1) (18 page)

Anna

After putting Travis
to bed Sunday night, I sat at my computer, trying to ignore the churning in the pit of my stomach over my growing feelings for Nick. I was getting too close to him. Becoming too dependent on his smile and touch. This had to end. I needed to change my life and move forward without him.

Determined to take a step in the right direction, I studied the Island Community College website. I’d looked at the site before but had never been motivated to take the next step and schedule an appointment with an advisor.

Was I too old to go back to school and sit in a classroom all day? Intimidated by the prospect of attending college, I clicked on the link that led to the flight school where I’d trained and taught.

My hands trembled as I watched the videos promoting the wonderful world of flying. I desperately missed it. Desperately wanted to fly again despite my fear and guilt.

Was it simply a matter of getting back in the helicopter and trying? I wanted to feel the exhilaration of being in the air, but could I actually find the courage to try again?

The ringing of my phone startled me, and I jumped.

“I’m calling to fix your love life,” Jillian declared after I said hello. “Mitch and Bryan are both free Thursday, so I thought we could double date.”

My throat clogged. “This Thursday?”

“Yes. It’s seafood night at the country club. Are you available?”

“I am, but . . . I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Jillian gave a sympathetic sigh. “I was a mess the first time I went out after my divorce, but this isn’t a big deal. It’s simply four friends having dinner on a Thursday night.”

I closed my eyes and remembered Nick laughing at the carnival. Remembered the joy I’d felt, seeing him so happy, knowing I was the reason for his laughter. I had to stop this fascination with him.

“Okay,” I told Jillian. “Thursday night.”

“That’s fabulous. But don’t sound so glum. It’s going to be fun. Matt and Drew are spending the night with Mom and Dad, so I’m sure they can watch Travis.”

I hesitated. “I don’t know. Your mom was pretty upset about my friendship with Nick. I can’t imagine her being enthusiastic about me going out on a date with Mitch.”

“But Nick is leaving. That’s why Mom was upset. She’s obsessed with Sunday brunch and having the whole family live on the island and attend church together. If you got involved with Nick and left, life would change. Mitch, on the other hand, is safe and stable. He’s not going anywhere. My parents already know and like him from church, and so will you. He’s perfect.”

Was he?

I hung up the phone already knowing how Bianca would react. But what would Nick think about my upcoming date with safe and stable Mitch?

*

During a mid-morning
break, I rode my bike to the community college for an appointment with a guidance counselor. At the admissions office, I checked in with the receptionist and completed several forms.

Question number eight asked about my reason for attending school. How was I supposed to answer? A desire to complete my degree? Fear of flying? A need to channel my energy away from the gorgeous soldier who occupied my every thought? Nothing seemed appropriate, so I left the space blank.

After a while, a tall woman with a pleasant voice named Nell Reynolds called me into her office. Sitting in a cloth-covered wingback chair, I waited patiently while she read through my paperwork.

On the desk sat a photograph of three men in army uniforms. Nell noticed me looking at the picture and smiled. “My husband is retired military, and both my sons entered the service.”

“You must be proud of them,” I managed to say.

“I am, but I worry every day.”

“You do?”

She nodded. “If I had my way, I’d keep them safe on the island for the rest of their lives, but military service is in their blood. It’s what they’ve always wanted to do, so how can I stand in their way?”

I gave a weak smile, definitely understanding that sentiment.

Nell tapped a finger on one of my forms. “You used to work as a helicopter pilot?”

“Yes.”

“But you’re not flying anymore?”

I shrugged and looked at the photograph of Nell’s family. “I’ve been thinking about going back,” I heard myself say. “I just want to explore all my options before making a decision.”

She nodded. “That’s understandable.”

Was it? Had I honestly admitted I might go back to flying?

“Since you’re not quite sure what you want to study, I’m going to suggest you take a career aptitude test. The results might help you figure out what classes to take. Are you interested?”

“Let me think about it,” I said, but I already knew what the aptitude test would reveal.

I was meant to fly.

*

Thursday night, I
left Travis with my in-laws and went out to the country club with Jillian, Bryan, and Dr. Mitch Norman. The four of us sat by the window overlooking the immaculate greens.

“Do you golf?” Mitch asked. He was tall, thin, and good-looking with short brown hair and straight white teeth. He smelled a little like toothpaste, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing for a dentist, but it did remind me of my last cleaning. Not exactly my favorite thing to think about.

“I took a golf lesson in high school,” I offered. “But I haven’t played since then.”

“You really should. It’s wonderful exercise and—”

“Very expensive.”

“Well, that’s true,” he conceded with a big toothy smile. “But I don’t have children, so I can spend my time and money on the course. If I were to remarry and have children, I’m sure that would change.”

From this comment and our brief conversation in the car, I knew Mitch wanted a family. I also knew he’d be an amazing father. I could easily visualize him coaching Little League or having a tea party with his daughter. He’d probably take on the responsibility of brushing his kids’ teeth, something I still had to remind Travis to do on a regular basis.

“Jillian told me you moved to the island about three years ago,” I said, doing my best to keep the conversation going.

“I did. I love the slow and easy pace here, but my wife—sorry, my ex-wife—grew restless. There wasn’t enough high-end shopping for her. Now she’s back in Houston, and it’s for the best. Without a doubt, her happiness truly is dependent on a mall.”

“I hate shopping,” I said, blurting out the first thought that popped into my nervous mind.

A huge smile spread across Mitch’s face. “I do, too.” He lifted his glass and clinked it against mine.

I took a sip of my iced tea. “So, you like living here?”

He sat back in his chair. “I don’t ever want to live anywhere else. I think it’s the perfect place to settle down and raise a family. My offer to buy an older dentist’s practice was just accepted, so I’m excited about my future here.”

I studied him carefully, finding nothing wrong with his lean and handsome features. He didn’t make my knees buckle or my insides flutter, but I wanted to give him a chance. I wanted to believe with some effort, I could become attracted to him. Maybe even fall in love with him.

“Jillian says you’re thinking about going back to school,” he said. “What do you want to study?”

“I’m not quite sure. Ultimately, something in accounting or finance, but I might start with an online psychology class.”

Jillian reached for a piece of fried calamari. “I loved my freshman psychology class. I still remember learning about the power of positive thinking and how it affects outcome.”

Bryan nodded. “They say people who write down their goals are more successful. Even if they never refer to those goals again, writing them down subconsciously triggers their actions.”

Mitch pitched in his own thoughts, and the four of us enjoyed a lively discussion about the human brain. After dinner, a country band took the stage, and Mitch led me to the dance floor.

When he took me in his arms, my mind drifted back to all the times Nick had held me. I thought of the thrill I’d felt when he’d kissed me. His smile and the way he’d laughed when I’d won the Jet Ski. How in the world was I going to forget about him?

Later, in the ladies’ room, Jillian asked what I thought so far.

I set my purse on the counter and removed a small cosmetic bag. “He’s nice.”

“I think he really likes you.”

“I like him, too.” Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I touched up my lipstick. “It’s been a wonderful evening, and I’m glad I came.”

Afterward, Bryan drove everyone home, stopping at my house first. Mitch walked me to the door even though I told him it wasn’t necessary. All night long, he’d been quite the gentleman—opening doors, standing when I left the table, and bringing up interesting topics of conversation.

My sixth grade cotillion instructor would’ve been pleased by Mitch’s impeccable manners. Not that Nick didn’t have impeccable manners, and not that I was comparing the two, or even thinking about Nick for that matter.

“I had a lovely time.” Quickly, I inserted my key into the lock and opened the front door. Yoda barked wildly, lunging at the baby gate, determined to make his presence known.

“What a cute dog,” Mitch said, smiling. “It looks like he has some German Shepherd in him.”

“I think so. Do you like dogs?”

“I do. My German Shepherd died recently . . . the same week my wife left me. Not my best week, obviously. But I miss her so much—the dog, not the wife.”

I smiled. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “Everyone says I just need to get a new dog, but it’s not that easy, you know? I found Jezebel when she was a puppy, and she was one of a kind. Not something I can easily replace.”

I started to say I knew exactly what he meant, but unexpectedly, he stepped toward me and pressed his lips to mine. I inhaled sharply, shocked he was kissing me.

Then, as though on autopilot, I threaded my arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

M
ore than anything,
I was surprised to find myself being kissed by Mitch. As quickly as our kiss began, it ended, with Mitch pulling away first. He grinned at me bashfully. “I hope that was okay.”

“Sure,” I said, flustered.
Was it okay? I didn’t know.

“I’ll call you.” He stepped onto the porch and jogged down the stairs, leaving me staring after him, surprised and confused. The kiss hadn’t set off any fireworks, but it’d been nice. I’d easily returned his kiss without feeling any of the fear and panic I’d felt every time I’d kissed Nick.

Suddenly, I could see a pleasant future as
the dentist’s wife
. I imagined returning to the country club every year to celebrate our first date, raising Travis together, and having more children.

Instead of handing out Halloween candy, we’d offer toothpaste and dental floss. I’d buy Mitch a wooden sign from the Farmer’s Market that said
You don’t have to brush all your teeth, just the ones you want to keep.
Our Christmas tree would be decorated with dental ornaments; and once a year, I’d accompany him to his annual oral health conference in cities like Chicago and San Francisco.

It’d be a pleasant life, comprised of everything I’d ever wanted. Safety, stability, contentment, fresh breath, and free dental cleanings. So, why wasn’t I more excited about a life with Mitch? Why hadn’t his kiss left me breathless and touching my lips to relive the passionate moment?

Closing and locking the door, I sighed heavily. Why did life have to be so complex? Why couldn’t Mitch be the hot army guy and Nick the safe dentist? And why couldn’t I stop thinking about Nick?

Yoda cocked his head to the side and whined.

“You want to go outside, boy?” I found his leash, and we walked up the seashell path to the mailboxes. The moon was only a sliver tonight, and while I’d never been afraid on the island, it was comforting to have Yoda by my side.

Over time, my feelings for the dog had grown. I’d been so angry that first night when he’d destroyed my handbag. Now, I found myself perusing the pet aisle for a special doggie treat every time I went grocery shopping.

As if reading my thoughts, Yoda looked up and wagged his tail.