Dustin got down on his knees and unzipped Kevin’s jeans, tugging them down to mid-thigh along with his boxers. Kevin’s hard dick, a bit on the small side, flopped out, below was his tight sack, which hugged his balls close to his body.
Dustin took the dick in his mouth. The nice thing about the smaller size was he had no trouble taking it all in—his throat took enough of a beating this week with all the other huge cocks. He wound his tongue up and down and around Kevin’s pole. The sounds Kevin made were loud and pleasurable, but Dustin noticed Kevin never touched him, never put his hands on his head. Dustin moved his lips faster, bouncing up and down, creating a powerful suction as he tugged the meat out of his mouth, then plunged back down.
With his free hand, Dustin beat his own cock furiously. As his jaw began to ache and his lips began to tire, he slid Kevin completely out of his mouth and looked up at him.
“I want you to suck me,” he said, as seductively as he could.
Kevin’s nose twitched and for a moment Dustin wondered if Kevin would actually say no, but then he nudged Dustin’s shoulders. He followed the motion and lay back on the bed, spreading his legs. Kevin kneeled on the floor, grasped Dustin in his hand, and took him in his mouth.
Kevin’s blowjobs were always slow and gentle...and very wet, even just a few moments in, Dustin could feel droplets of spittle settling around the base of his cock. But he didn’t care, Dustin was usually the sucker and not the suckee, and this switch-up put him in heaven right now.
Dustin’s eyes closed and his hands moved to Kevin’s head. He tried to run his fingers through his hair, but the thick layer of hair product felt unpleasant to the touch. In his mind’s eye, he saw Kyle’s tight curls and yearned to get his fingers lost in those ringlets.
Dustin opened his eyes and looked down at Kevin gobbling his cock. He was here with Kevin, not with Kyle. He would never be here with Kyle. Dustin had to make the best of this, to make it a solid step in getting over Kyle.
If it felt unpleasant to touch Kevin’s hair, then he’d find an alternative. He slid his hands down to the tips of Kevin’s ears, playing with them as they bobbed up and down. Kevin changed position by just a few inches, creating a new sensation on his dick, quickly sending shivers running through his body.
Dustin moaned loudly and Kevin sped up.
Suddenly, he stopped. “My jaw is tired.”
Dustin tried not to roll his eyes. Kevin’s blowjob hadn’t even been half as long as what he’d performed. He stood up and playfully shoved Kevin onto the bed. Dustin straddled him and grinded against him, Kevin’s dick sliding up and down Dustin’s crack, rubbing over his anus. His tight hole twitched every time Kevin’s head pressed against it. Dustin grabbed his cock and pumped his hand in time with the thrusts.
Dustin liked this...he liked anal stimulation, though usually not penetration. He had absolutely no desire for Kevin to enter him. Kyle on the other hand...Dustin would bottom for him.
Dustin shook his head. He was with Kevin. He swiveled his hips deeper, pressing hard against Kevin’s cock. Kevin put his hands on Dustin’s hips, guiding him in the grinding, his own hips bucking in time. This was Kevin’s favorite position, the one that gave him the most stimulation, and also the one that got him off the quickest.
The head pressing against Dustin’s hole sent pleasure deep inside Dustin. He moaned softly, lost among the louder lustier moans coming from Kevin.
“I’m close!” Kevin blurted.
Dustin rolled off him, just as he did every time, and lay beside him. Kevin masturbated quickly, gasping as he neared orgasm. Dustin stroked alongside him, trying to quickly bring himself to the same point.
“I’m cumming,” Kevin announced, breathless.
Dustin glued his eyes to the slit in Kevin’s dick. This was what made all the effort worth it. Kevin trembled from head to toe and grunted loudly as his cock pulsed, shooting hot cum toward their faces in a display far more impressive than anything Dustin ever saw in porn. Most landed on Kevin’s upper chest and neck, but a few shots splattered on Dustin’s chest, with one very thick globule sticking to his cheek.
The erotic display supercharged Dustin’s libido, and the warm wetness on his cheek took him over the edge. He gasped and shuddered as he shot his own load—not as impressively as Kevin, but still more forceful than he’d done in a while. Hot strands of his cum arced across his stomach, reaching just shy of his nipples.
He gazed over at Kevin and found him staring at Dustin’s dick, examining the semen splayed out across his skin.
“That was hot.” Kevin looked back up at Dustin.
“Sure was.”
As they lay there and the sexual heat dissipated, Dustin felt a coldness creep in—not a physical coldness, but an emotional one. As hot as he found it in the moment, it was still a meaningless hookup. He still felt unfulfilled.
Dustin was suddenly very conscious of the cool blob of Kevin’s semen oozing down his cheek, leaving a slimy trail. He fought to suppress a grimace.
“Well,” Kevin said, “we should shower.”
“Yeah. A shower would be good.”
“Want to join me?”
Dustin thought about the last shower he shared with a man, with Kyle. Though it ended horribly, most of it had been amazing, and he found he didn’t want to tarnish the memory by showering with Kevin. He was also aware that with the lust expended, he didn’t have an immediate desire to do more with Kevin...because he knew as soon as they were in the shower, Kevin would be hoping for a follow-up blowjob, and he wouldn’t reciprocate and blow Dustin. He felt queasy at the thought of a mouthful of Kevin’s cum right now.
“No. You go ahead. I’ll clean off with toilet paper and then jump in after you.”
Kevin smiled, though his body language deflated. “Okay.”
Dustin watched him go into the bathroom and waited until he heard the sound of the shower before getting up. He walked carefully into the small bathroom, cautious not to drip cum all over the place. He grabbed a wad of toilet paper and got the bulk of the stuff off, then flushed it down.
He leaned on the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. What the hell was going on with him? He felt tortured, ripped apart, lost...
One random hookup with Kyle changed everything he thought he knew about himself, and about love and sex. Lust didn’t explain it...yes, he wanted the jock to ram him in the ass and jizz all over his face, but he also wanted to be held by him, to cuddle with him in bed, to share a dessert with him.
As if his very soul yearned for the comforting presence of Kyle, his heart sang every time he shared a look or a laugh with him.
All of these hookups, this life of random sex...they used to fill his needs, they used to be fun, they used to be an adventure, but now they were dull and disappointing. The sense of being unfulfilled he felt after the cum cooled on his cheek? It came back every time this week he’d hooked up with some guy, except Kyle. Those brief moments with Kyle in the shower, those precious few minutes, they still resonated with him. Beyond the simple enjoyment of a hot hookup, it was the closeness he remembered, the shared intimacy. If Kyle simply hugged him, with no sexual contact, Dustin was sure he’d feel the same charge—because the intimacy, not the sex, had his body, mind, and soul buzzing.
And he’d gone and blown it all.
Kyle never wanted to see him again.
Beside him, the shower stopped and the curtain swung aside as Kevin stepped out.
“That was fun,” he said with a low voice. His hand reached out and grabbed Dustin’s dick, gently stroking it.
Dustin plastered on a fake smile. “Mm-hmm.” On some level it was, anyway, but on the deeper, fuller level, another huge disappointment. “Well, I better jump in there.” He said, sidling past Kevin.
He threw the curtain shut and started the water. Just yesterday he’d showered with Kyle. And mere days before, he took two showers—one golden and one in which he couldn’t scrub clean enough.
Kevin’s head appeared around the edge of the curtain with a wicked grin. “Sure you don’t need some help in there?”
Dustin flicked water at Kevin’s face. “Buzz off.”
Back in his privacy, depressing thoughts enveloped him. This was going nowhere. His life was going nowhere. Nowhere but down the drain, anyway.
After only the minutest taste of what a real love could be, just mere seconds of it, and it smashed apart his closeted world. He’d long thought he was happy secluding himself in the closet, but now he knew better. Doing so only deprived him of happiness by building a life of falseness and empty hookups. Whereas random sex once felt exciting and vibrant, it now seemed tedious and uninspired.
Dustin scrubbed the slimy spot off his check.
He needed to talk to Angela. Talking to Kevin was pointless.
Satisfied he’d washed away all the cum, he shut off the water, dried off, and exited the bathroom. Kevin hovered over his phone, but looked up when Dustin walked past him naked.
“It’s really a shame you moved all the way out here. We’re good together.”
“Hmm,” Dustin replied, half-heartedly. He pulled on his briefs. From the corner of his eye, he watched Kevin put his phone down and tilt his head to the side, examining Dustin.
“Holy shit.”
Dustin stumbled as he tugged on his jeans. “What?”
“You weren’t kidding.”
“Huh?”
“You’ve seriously fallen for this jock of yours.” Dustin felt a blush color his cheeks. “You know,
if
he’s gay, or at the very least has a bi side, he’s even more in the closet than you.” The pointed weight of his words jabbed him, meant to poke and deflate him.
“What of it?” Dustin pulled his shirt over his head and searched for his socks. He wanted nothing more than to just get out of there.
“I’m saying this as a friend—are we even friends? Or are we just fuck buddies able to carry a conversation? Leave him be. You’re only going to end up with a broken heart and he’ll probably out you to all his jock friends. University will become a living hell. Athletes hate fags.”
Dustin scooped up his socks and sat down beside Kevin to pull them on. “To be fair, I know the situation a little better than you do.”
“I’ve been around the block more than once, Dustin. I’ve seen it all. This will not end well.”
Dustin sighed heavily. Beside him, Kevin’s phone chimed. Dustin glanced down and saw a young shirtless twink on the screen with the message, “Yeah, this afternoon works. Got condoms?” typed neatly underneath.
“On to your next conquest?” Dustin asked with an arched eyebrow.
“That’s something you give up on when you settle down, you know. No more hookups with tons of men—just the same guy night after night. You’d get bored with him quick.”
Dustin’s cock stirred in his pants at the thought of spending endless nights with Kyle.
“Monogamy works for the straight world, why not for the gay world?” Dustin reached over for his shoes and slipped them on.
“Does it? What’s the divorce rate? Straight relationships are fucked up and doomed to heartbreak, gay ones even more so.” He put his hand on Dustin’s shoulder. “Don’t do this. You’ll regret it.”
Dustin shrugged off the hand and stood up. “Enjoy Montreal.” Moments later he stepped out onto the sidewalk, heading toward the bus stop.
Coming to Kevin was a mistake—a huge one—and he deeply regretted it. All Kevin cared about was getting off in a series of hookups. It was a miracle he didn’t have a disease and another miracle Dustin hadn’t caught one through him. Then again, Kevin always said he was clean, though he never provided any proof. Dustin shook off the train of thought. Aside from his casual string of sex, he had an even more phobic perception of true gay love than Dustin did.
However, in another way, visiting Kevin was exactly what he needed. All week, Dustin edged toward a new stage in his life, to taking a daring step into the brave unknown. One disappointing and humiliating hookup after another inched him closer and closer to some undefined line. But it took a disastrous hookup with Kevin, a guy he knew and trusted and had positive experiences with, to push him firmly over the line.
He was done being in the closet. He was done hiding his real self. No more denying what he truly wanted in life. And he was done with being alone and lonely.
~ * ~
Dustin unzipped his jacket as he walked into his dorm building. This was it. He made the decision on the ride home. He was going to come out.
He shivered, but not from the cold.
His feet slowed as he turned down the corridor leading to the room he shared with Jason. He hadn’t thought this through. Who would he tell—Jason? How to phrase it? How out did he want to be?
His slowed to a stop halfway down the hall. He absently chewed his lower lip, eventually realizing he gnawed it and that he adopted the habit from Kyle. He rarely chewed his lip before he met him.
Dustin sighed and leaned against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them, staring down at his crotch. Nervousness kicked in.
He heard a soft click several feet away.
“Dustin?”
That was the one voice, other than Kyle’s, he actually wanted to hear right now. He looked up at Angela. Thankfully, she was alone.