Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) (17 page)

“Maybe not, but when you start hanging out with your ex, it concerns me a little.”

“You didn’t seem that bothered by it until now.”

“
Because you made it sound like it was no big deal.”

“Because it is
no big deal.”

“Mandy told me how Jesse left,” he said bluntly and I froze, forcing my eyes to stay focused on the wall this time. “She told me how his dad died and she told me about the letter.”

If Mandy had been in the room I would’ve strangled her.  I’d always found her ditzy attitude endearing, but I wanted to kill her for it now. 

“What do you want me to say, Evan?” I said softly.

“I just want to know if I have anything to be worried about.”  His words weren’t mean or angry.  They were gentle and concerned and I turned to face him.

“No, you don’t,” I finally said, bri
nging my hand to cover his. “Jesse and I have a past…an intense past.  He hurt me, but he also loved me and he was my best friend before any of it.  Before Alex, before his dad died, before that letter.  When he left, I didn’t know if I’d ever get over it, but I did and you’re one of the reasons why.”

I
felt him squeeze my hand and then he pulled me close to him.

“Forgive my jealousy,” he said softly.

“I’d be jealous too.”

“I just didn’t realize what I was up against.”

“Please don’t worry.”  I took his hand to my lips and kissed the back of it, hoping it would help to alleviate any doubts he was having, but I wondered if I wasn’t doing it for myself more than him. 

Evan didn’t say anything and I looked up when the glow of the lights from Jesse’s pick-up shone into the living room. 

“Looks like they’re back,” he said and we both stood up, walking outside and I was grateful to be rid of that conversation.  Mandy was already at the truck helping Jesse and Brandon unload the chairs. 

“Were you able to get the rest or do you need to make another trip?” I asked once Evan and I made our way over.

“We’re all set,” Jesse said and as I reached for a chair in the bed, he came up beside me, taking it from my hands. “I’ve got this.”  I looked up, our eyes meeting for a second, but I pulled my gaze away quickly and turned to see if Evan was watching us.  If he was, he didn’t let on and I walked away without saying another word to Jesse. 

I knew Mandy was avoiding me.  She was practically glued to Brandon’s hip as they set up chairs around the long tables we’d put up earlier.  I didn’t wait to get her alone.  Instead, I marched right up to her.

“Can I have a word with you, Mandy?” I asked and Brandon looked at us curiously.

“Um…yeah…sure,” she stuttered as I pulled her arm, leading her away from the group.

“What were you thinking?” I whispered once we were out of earshot. 

“I’m sorry, Riley.  I didn’t mean to tell him all that, but we were alone and it was awkward and you know how I get.  I just started talking and Evan seemed intrigued so I kept talking.  I thought you would’ve told him this stuff. I didn’t know it was such a big secret.”

“It’s not a secret, Mandy.  I just hadn’t told him about it because I didn’t want to think about it.  I just wanted to move on.”

“I’m sorry,” sh
e said, her eyes staring at the ground while she traced lines in the grass with the tip of her shoe.  I couldn’t stay mad at her.  That’s just the way Mandy was.  She’d been like that since the day I met her and I knew she hadn’t told Evan anything to be malicious.

“P
lease, just don’t say anything else about my life, okay?” She lowered her eyes and nodded. “Let’s just drop it and try and have a good time tomorrow, okay?”  She finally looked up and nodded in agreement and we walked back over to the guys who were just finishing up. 

Brandon was still eyeing us and I knew Mandy would probably fill him
in later, so I just turned away from him and walked over to Evan. 

“I think we’re all done here.  Is there anything else you need done, Riley?” Jesse asked and I looked around.  The tables and chairs were ready for the ceremony and the trellis looked elegantly simple.  Once the tablecloths and centerpieces were set up in the morning, I knew it would look great. 

“No, I think that’s everything for tonight.  I’ll finish the rest tomorrow before the ceremony.  Thank you guys for all your help,” I said, looking around to each of them, smiling in appreciation. 

“We’re gonna take off then,” Brandon said, taking Mandy’s hand before walking toward her car.

“Same here,” Jesse added, heading over to his truck.

“Me too,” Evan said, turning to me. “I need to get checked in and get some rest.  I’m exhausted.  I’ll be back in the morning though.” He leaned down and kissed me quickly and I was almost relieved he was heading to the hotel.  I was tired and I just wanted to focus on my mom’s wedding
and get some sleep. 

“Okay.  I’ll see you in the morning,” I said and he turned and walked over to his car, but not before I noticed him eyeing Jesse, who was getting in his truck.  He watched until Jesse’s truck faded in the distance and then got into his car and drove away. 

I stood there alone, looking over everything, straightening a few chairs and going over the trellis again.  Just as I was about to turn and head inside, I saw headlights coming towards my house.  It didn’t take me long to realize it was Jesse’s truck and I wondered what he was doing back. 

“I think I left my phone here,” he said when he got
out, walking over and finding it resting on the edge of one of the tables.  He slid it into his pocket and then looked at me. “I’ll get outta your hair now.”

“You’re not in my hair,” I laughed lightly. “And seriously, Jesse, thank you for all your help today.”

“I didn’t do much.  Just set up some tables and made a few trips to get some chairs,” he said with a half-smile.

“Don’t be modest.  It was a huge help.  Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said as our eyes locked. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can do tonight?” His voice was soft and his words came out slowly and I didn’t think his question was regarding preparations for my mom’s wedding.  He took a few steps towards me until he was so close I could hear him breathing, quick and hurried.  It was as if I wasn’t in control of my own body as I watched my arm lift up, my palm resting on his chest.  I could feel his heart beating and it was going almost as fast as mine.  I knew exactly what I wanted him to do tonight and as our eyes remained locked, he leaned in slowly as my hand traced down his hard stomach until it had fallen to my side.  He reached up, his hand cupping around my neck as he pulled me to him.  I waited for it…wanted it, but then my heart plummeted when I felt his lips on my forehead, warm and perfect, and they lingered there as I breathed in deeply, my mouth aching to feel his lips. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Riley,” his rugged voice said in a low whisper and then he pulled away, climbing into hi
s truck. I stood there, unable to move as he sat behind the steering wheel, staring at me through the windshield.  I knew he wanted to get out of the cab as badly as I wanted him to, but then he closed his eyes for a moment.  When they opened again, he turned the ignition, the headlights piercing through the night air and I couldn’t see him anymore as the truck backed up and then turned onto the road.  I watched until I could no longer see him and I wiped the tears from the edges of my eyes that were threatening to fall.  I’d spent the evening assuring Evan he had nothing to worry about and I hated the fact that I was a liar. 

Chapter Twenty-Three

“Are you nervous?” I asked my mom as we stood at the back door waiting for the ceremony to begin. 

“No.  Not nervous.  Excited,” she said
, taking my hand.

“I’m excited for you too, Mom.  Jack’s a great guy.”

“Yes, he is,” she said, smiling over to me.  She looked beautiful in a simple white dress, her hair pulled up in a French twist, a few pieces lightly framing her face as she held a small bouquet of yellow roses.  I leaned in, hugging her tightly, so grateful for the relationship with my mother.  We hadn’t been that close before moving to Carver.  We got along and I loved her, but I didn’t think of her as my friend.  I was still ashamed at the way I’d treated her when we came to Kansas.  I hoped one day I could finally let go of it all, but I doubted I ever would.  Remembering the hateful words and actions reminded me how fortunate I was to have a mother like her.  A mother who loved and supported me no matter what.  I knew first hand not everyone did.  Seeing the loneliness and pain Jesse had gone through with his own mom made me appreciate her in a way I never had before. 

“I love you, Mom,” I said, letting her go as I opened the door, leading her outside.  We w
ere silent as we made the walk from the house to my grandparents’ old garden where we’d set up the trellis and tables.  In the daylight, it looked just as great as I thought it would.  The small group of friends and the little family we had in Carver, my Uncle Mike and Aunt Debbie, sitting on either side of my grandmother, who was healthy enough to spend the afternoon with us, were seated at the tables I’d covered with simple white lace table cloths and the centerpieces. 

The violinist began to play and ever
yone turned to look at my mom.  I held her hand as we walked towards Jack, who looked handsome in his crisp, black suit.  He was smiling at my mom in a way that showed me he would take care of her and I wouldn’t have to worry about her.  I felt my eyes growing warm as we got closer to Jack and once we were beside him, I hugged her again and stood for a moment as I watched her walk over to his side, before turning and finding my seat next to Evan. 

****

The ceremony had been simple just like my mom wanted, but it was also beautiful and I couldn’t have been happier when Jack and my mom kissed, sealing their relationship for the rest of their lives.  I’d been so engrossed in the wedding, I hadn’t thought about Jesse or Evan, but now that it was over and everyone was busy eating and mingling, my mind kept drifting to the way Jesse and I had said goodbye the night before.  I hadn’t slept well as I kept mulling over the different scenarios in my mind.  But, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make sense of my feelings.  Evan was a better guy than I deserved.  I knew he loved me and he wanted to marry me, which was evident by the ring on my finger that seemed to weigh a thousand pounds lately.  It was always there, reminding me of his intentions, reminding me of his expectations for our relationship, reminding me that I’d said yes and that I shouldn’t need any reminders. 

I’d barely said anything to Jesse when he arrived with Brandon and Mandy to help me finish up before the wedding.  Evan had shown up before them, looking as dapper as ever in his gray suit and tie, but he was overshadowed when I saw Jesse step out of Mandy’s car in his dress uniform.  I sometimes forgot Jesse was still in the Marines.  Since he’d returned to Carver, I hadn’t thought of him as Jesse the Marine because that guy had never been a part of my life, but once he stood before me in the red trimmed black coat with the shiny gold buttons and blue pants, I couldn’t help but take notice of Jesse the Marine.  I knew I was staring so I quickly said hello and took Evan’s hand, leading him inside.

I’d managed not to pay attention to him during the actual wedding, but now it was nearly impossible.  He stood out like a sore thumb and I couldn’t stop looking at him. 

Evan and I got a plate and sat down at one of the tables, piecing at our food.  He excused himself to the bathroom a few minutes later and I sat alone, taking in the whole scene.  My mom was talking with her friends and I never saw the smile leave her or Jack’s face and I was certain those smiles would still be there when they returned from their Alaskan honeymoon. 

“You pulled it off.”  I turned my head towards the deep voice beside me and I saw an imposing looking Jesse standing above me. 

“Yeah, I guess I did,” I said and he hesitated before
sitting down where Evan had been only a few moments before. 

“Your mom and Jack look really happy.”

“They are happy,” I said as my eyes danced around the front of his uniform, taking in the ribbons and patches before focusing on his name tag.  For some reason, my eyes rested on BAYLOR for a few moments before finally looking up to him again.  “You, uh…I meant to tell you…you look kinda awesome in your uniform.”

“I felt
kinda stupid wearing it,” he said with a grin.

“Why would you feel stupid?”

“I didn’t want to stick out.”

“Well, I can tell you if your goal was
subtlety, it was an epic failure,” I said with a laugh and his mouth turned up into a lopsided grin.

“I didn’t have a suit or anything with me, so I figured this would do.”

“And it did nicely.  I’m glad you wore it.  I always wondered what you looked like in it.”

“And you finally got your chance and just in the nick of time. 
Pretty soon this thing will be retired to the back of my closet.”

“So you’ll be heading back to North Carolina then soon?”

“I’m not sure exactly when, but I need to get back there.  I’ve been dragging my feet long enough as it is.”

“Why haven’t you gone
yet?” I asked quietly.

“I guess I’ve been having too much fun getting reacquainted with things back here at home
that I’ve missed.” I expected a smile to cross his face, but it didn’t and it was quiet for a moment as I felt my heart beat quicken, the way it had the night before as we’d said goodbye. “Anyway…I just wanted to tell you what a great job you did on the wedding.  I know your mom appreciated it,” he said. “I should get back to Brandon and Mandy before Evan gets back.” He stood up and I did the same.

“You don’t have to go.”

“Yes, I do, Riley,” he said. “I see the way he looks at me and he doesn’t like me being around you.”

I didn’t say anything to defend his statement because there was nothing I could say.  Maybe Evan hadn’t minded at first, but it was obvious he did now.

“Thank you for coming,” I decided on instead.

“I wouldn’t have missed it
.”

He turned around and walked back to our friends just in time because when I looked
back to the house, I saw Evan walking towards me. I hadn’t worried about talking to Jesse in front of him before, but I did now after Evan told me his concerns and while I continued to watch Jesse with my peripheral vision, I knew it was better he stay where he was.  I didn’t want to argue with Evan or give him any reasons to doubt me.  I was already doing enough of that for myself.