Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) (24 page)

Chapter Thirty-Two

It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be the next morning.  He was already awake when I opened my eyes and I knew he’d been watching me sleep.  I smiled shyly at him and he replied by kissing me sweetly on the tip of my nose.  We laid there for a while, staring out the window at the morning sunlight spilling into the room. 

“How’d you sleep?” he eventually asked.

“Great.  What about you?”

“I didn’t sleep much,” he said and I turned my head to look up at him.

“Why not?”

“I didn’t want to waste this time with you sleeping.  Plus, you’re pretty cute when you’re asleep.  I love your little snore.” He was grinning at me and I felt my cheeks flame red.

“I do not snore!” I protested.

“Yes, you do and it’s adorable.” He pulled the covers back, stepping out of bed and searching the floor for his clothes.  I tried not to watch him, but it was impossible and I looked at him as discreetly as I could as he slid on his jeans and t-shirt.  “
I’ll wait for you downstairs.” 

He walked back over to me, kissing me on the forehead and then he was gone
.  The door shut behind him and I sat up in my bed, my head in my hand as I smiled and shook my head at the memories of last night.  I got up, searching through my dresser and found a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt before running a brush through my hair and heading downstairs. 

Jesse was cooking
eggs on the stove and I slid into the chair and watched him.

“If I remember correctly, you like yours scrambled,” he said, turning to me for approval and I nodded. 

A few minutes later, he placed a plate of eggs and toast in front of me and poured us each a glass of orange juice.

“Thanks for breakfast,” I said as we ate. “I’m glad the power came on and that the food in the fridge didn’t spoil…well, let’s hope it’s not spoiled,” I laughed, but then he looked at me coyly.

“I’m glad the power came on too, but the blackout was pretty fun.” I smiled and blushed and looked away as we finished our breakfast in silence.  He cleared the table when we were done and then we walked into the living room where we stood awkwardly for a few moments.

“I should go,” he finally said. “I need to check if there was any damage to my house.”

“Yeah, you probably should,” I agreed, sad to think of him leaving while at the same time anxious for him to go so I could think about this whole situation with a clear head without his intoxicating presence. 

“I just want to let you know, I’m heading back to North Carolina in a couple of days,” he said and I flinched at his words.

“How long will you be gone?” I asked, trying to disguise my sadness.

“I’m not sure. 
A week, maybe two.”

“
Will I see you before you go?”

“Do you want to see me?” he asked and again, I nodded wordlessly. “Then you’ll see me.”

He went to the door and opened it, turning to smile at me before he walked out.

I stood motionless for a long time, trying to come to grips with the
events of the past twenty-four hours.  I’d broken up with my fiancé and hooked up with the love of my life.  I didn’t think my life could get any more complicated than that. 

Finally able to move, I went around the house, picking up all the candles and sifting through the contents of the fridge to see if anything had gone bad.  It kept my mind occupied, but when I was done, the emptiness of the house overwhelmed me.  I hated being here alone and after last night, I realized how much I hated being alone period. 

I headed upstairs and showered and got myself ready for work, leaving as soon as I was done, even though I knew it would get me there earlier than I needed to be.  I just needed to get out of the house.  I could still feel him there…could still smell him in my bedroom and I needed to get away. 

I focused intently on work and did my best to ignore Mark, who was being especially annoying this morning.  I was relieved when Jill asked me to spend most of the morning and early afternoon making deliveries.  I turned up the music, trying to think about something other than Jesse or the way he’d made me feel the night before.  I swear I could still feel his touch on my skin and his lips on mine.  I was like a pathetic school girl with her first crush.  This was more than a crush though…so much more.  I loved him and he loved me.  Logic would dictate that when two people love each other, they should be together.  Logic alone didn’t apply in our situation tho
ugh.  There were complications that most relationships didn’t have and feelings that couldn’t easily be mended and I had to force myself to look at them…at the whole picture…not just what I was feeling in the afterglow of my night with Jesse.  I’d been hurt too deeply to dive into it again, even though most of my body was screaming for me to open my arms and take the plunge. 

When I got home that evening, I half-expected Jesse to be waiting for me, a part of me had hoped he would be anyway.  He wasn’t though and I knew deep down he wouldn’t be waiting for me.  The ball was in my court now.  He’d left it all up to me.  He’d laid his feelings down without reservation and it was my choice where we went from here.

I missed him as I sat on the couch watching TV alone and I was happy when he texted me to tell me he’d hoped I’d had a nice day.  I found myself reading the text over and over before deciding to call it an early night.  I laid in bed realizing how lonely my bedroom had suddenly become after the night before.  I could still smell him on my sheets and I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply and for a few moments it felt like he was with me.  That thought was the only reason I was able to get any sleep at all. 

M
y mom and Jack got back the next day and were waiting for me after I got home from work.  She greeted me with a huge hug when I walked in the door and I noticed she and Jack both still looked as giddy as they had at the wedding.  I sat on her bed while she unpacked her suitcase, listening to her recount all of their adventures in Alaska.  They’d gone on a float plane ride to the Misty Fjords and Jack had brought back nearly thirty pounds of salmon he’d caught when they went deep sea fishing.  My mom was already listing off the different recipes she planned to try with it and I had a feeling I was going to get sick of salmon real fast.  Knowing my love for salt water taffy, she couldn’t wait to give me the bag of huckleberry taffy she’d brought back.  It was tough for me to admit, but it beat my Cape Cod taffy hands down and I knew the three pound bag she’d given me would probably be gone by the next day. 

“I’m really glad you had such a good time,” I told her as she finished unloading the last bag.

“We did, honey.  Thank you,” she said with a sweet smile before sitting down next to me. “Was everything okay while we were gone?  I heard there was some nasty weather a couple of days ago.”

“Yeah.
  A tornado watch actually.  It was pretty freaky.  The sirens were going and everything.  But, luckily the funnel cloud never touched down.”

“I’m sorry we weren’t here.  I remember how scary they can be.”

“I wasn’t alone,” I began hesitantly, wondering how I should tell my mom what had happened since she’d been gone. “Jesse was here with me.”

“Jesse?” I could tell by the way she jerked back a little that she hadn’t expected to hear that.

“Yeah.  He came and picked me up on the turnpike about thirty miles out of town after I blew out two tires.”

“Are you alright?” she sounded worried and I looked over at her reassuringly.

“I’m fine.  The car’s getting worked on at Jesse’s uncle’s shop.  I hope you don’t mind I borrowed your car to get to work today.”

“What were you doing way up there?”

“Coming home from Kansas City,” I said and she didn’t say anything as she seemed to be waiting to hear the rest of the story.  I started playing with the spot my engagement ring used to be and I wondered if she’d noticed.

“You went up to Kansas City?”

“Just for a few hours,” I said and then finally looked up to meet her blue eyes. “Evan and I…I mean I…I broke up with Evan.” The room grew quiet for a few moments and I knew she was formulating in her head what she should say. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said, but I didn’t know if she really was.  I didn’t think she’d ever been crazy about our engagement in the first place. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

“Can I ask what
happened?”

“Things changed when I got back to Carver,” I said, my voice trailing off before I decided to tell her the truth. “Jesse came back.”

When I looked at her, she nodded and I knew she wasn’t surprised.  Just like Matt, she probably knew it was going to happen.  If I was being honest with myself, I’d known too, I just couldn’t admit it. 

“So you and Jesse…” she began and I cut her off.

“No.  We’re not together.  He wants to be, but I don’t know.  He says it’s up to me.  He told me he didn’t give me a choice when he left, but it’s my choice now.”

“And what are you going to choose?” she asked and I looked at her, my lip trembling and she pulled me into her arms.

“I love him, Mom.  I never stopped.  It’s always been him.”

“I know,” she said as she stroked my hair soothingly.

“But he hurt me.  He hurt me so badly. If he hurts me again…”

“I know, Riley,” she said and I just let her hold me, not needing to say anything else.

****

I got a text from Jesse after dinner asking if he could bring my car back.  I told him he could and I waited anxiously until I saw the headlights of the tow truck pull into the driveway.  He got out and I met him outside.

“Hey,” he said when our eyes met. 

“Hey,” I said, watching him as he worked to unload my car. “That was a fast repair.”

“I told you I’d make sure you were on top of the priority list.  I even worked on it myself,” he said, turning to me with a grin as he finished up, pulling my car into its usual spot in the driveway.

“I can take a check over to your uncle tomorrow.  Do you know how much it came to?” I asked when he was standing across from me. 

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it?”

“I mean don’t worry about it.  It’s taken care of.”

“Seriously, Jesse.
  How much were the repairs?”

“I said it’s taken care of.  You spotted me the flowers, remember?”

“Flowers and tires are two totally different things,” I said, folding my arms and glaring at him playfully.

“Not to me,” he said with an equally playful look and I knew there was no arguing with him.

“Well, thank you for that.  It wasn’t necessary, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said as we stepped onto the porch, each of us taking a seat in one of the old white rocking chairs.  We rocked in silence for a little while, just listening to the creaking of the wood below our rockers and the symphony of crickets.

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning for North Carolina,” he said suddenly and I stopped rocking.

“Oh,” was all I said, even though I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew it was coming.  He’d told me he was leaving, but still, I didn’t like hearing the actual words.

“I wanted to see you before I go.”

“I wanted to see you too,” I said and he smiled at my obvious admission and I smiled shyly back. “You’re coming back, right?” The smile on his face vanished at my words, acknowledging my fear of abandonment.

“I’m coming back.” He leaned forward in the rocking chair, reaching for my hand and looking into my eyes without blinking. “I swear.”

I just nodded and he squeezed my hand before letting go and leaning back in the chair again. 

We rocked in silence for a little while and it was good to have him next to me again, like it used to be. 

“When are you leaving?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Around six.  I wanna get an early start.  The sooner I get there, the sooner I get home,” he said, looking at me knowingly.

“How long will it take you to get there?”

“Two days.”

“Be safe, okay?”

“I always am,” he said and we both knew the conversation was over. 

“You should probably go home and get some sleep then,” I said and he nodded as we both stood up, slowly making our way down the steps, stopping by the cab of the tow truck.  I didn’t know how to say goodbye, but I didn’t have to make that decision because he opened his arms and hugged me.  I closed my arms around him too and I leaned my cheek against his shoulder as he rested his c
hin on my head for a few moments and I wished my mind could always be this clear, but I knew I could never think straight when it came to Jesse Baylor. 

“Um…I have something for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket after we’d pulled away from each other.  He held his hand out to me, placing a folded piece of paper in my palm.  I looked down at it curiously, but didn’t say anything and I could tell he was nervous having handed it to me. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” he said, kissing me on the forehead before climbing into the driver’s seat.