Authors: Janice Hadden
Why
would he be interested in me?
If
he’s even interested in me. I didn’t think I’m
necessarily
deplorable but in comparison to…it was more than obvious, the
huge leap I’d had to cross, just to picture the two of
us…together… and I don’t mean just looks…though,
that certainly is more than enough to make me weak in the knees…
Oh
god, the fainting…I can’t believe I fainted. He probably
had to carry me all the way
to
the house. Oh…no! I haven’t even completely processed
the whole thing yet.
And
before I could continue on the ramblings in my mind—
“
A
penny for your thoughts?” His eyes burned in curiosity. My face
was instantly red again. I smiled awkwardly. There was no way I could
let him know what I was thinking. But before I could respond, he
asked me another question.
“
So
will you allow me to drive you to your doctor’s appointment?”
I swallowed the last cereal in the bowl before I swept my eyes back
up to look at him. His eyes, hot. His voice intense with a hint of
frustration. I felt a little lost at his reaction. I tried to ignore
it—maybe my nerves, I thought to myself.
“
Okay,
if you insist,” I quickly said, before I could comprehend what
I was agreeing to. I grabbed the pot of coffee and poured the hot
liquid in my pink mug and chugged the coffee hot without thinking. It
burned my throat—my tongue was on fire. I saw Tristan jump at
my reaction. I decided to leave the mysteries of his reaction to
nothing more than an automatic response. I had a lot on my notes to
look back later.
After
writing my name and jotting the time at 1:50 p.m. on the sign in
sheet, I went to claim my seat back next to Tristan. As he waited
with me at the lobby, my heart began to accelerate, louder that I was
beginning to hear my own heartbeat.
“
Don’t
be worried,” he said uncomfortably after a few minutes of
fidgeting my hands and seeing the look that probably gave some of my
anxiety away.
“
Katheryna!”…a
woman called my name out from the side door. I hardly went to see the
good doctor, but whenever I did, I was guaranteed to be spared from
the agonizing wait. Though today, I wouldn’t have minded.
Sitting with Tristan, I could have been here and wouldn’t have
cared how long it took. Though, I couldn’t be sure about my
heart. It seemed to have a way of always becoming erratic around him.
Dr. Hancock is my father’s close friend and I bet he had
already called again to make sure I had shown up.
I
went in with sweaty palms. I wasn’t quite sure what the doctor
was going to find. I wasn’t sick physically
—
I
had already undergone several testing after my accident; the results
all came out
good—
My
mental state—I couldn’t be sure. I contemplated for a
brief second whether sharing my encounter with the
unknown
with the doctor
would be a good idea.
Definitely,
it will guarantee some help…with the psychiatrist and
possibly, prescription for hard doze medications. I shunned at the
thought and decided to keep the questionable details of my accidents
to myself.
Ms.
Miller had taken my blood pressure and temperature, all came out
normal gave me at least a sudden sigh of relief. She shut the door
behind her as she left me in a small white room that only had a small
stainless steel sink and an examination bed where I sat too stiffly.
It didn't take long until, Dr. Hancock came in with my file in his
hand.
“
Katheryna…how
are you?” he greeted.
“
I’m
just here to get a check up,” I smiled nervously.
“
Your
dad called and said you fainted?”
I
figured
.
“
It’s
nothing…I went on a hike…I forgot to eat breakfast…”
“
You
need to take it easy…you…falling before is not to be
taken lightly.” I stayed calm as he probed and listened to my
heart, tic-toc—probably stronger, louder and faster than usual.
Tristan being here obviously had contributed to my heart beat,
accelerating.
“
You
seem a little tense, your heart beat’s a little fast but
nothing to worry about. It’s all normal. We’ll give you a
blood test and I’ll refer you to a neurologist. He’s a
good friend of mine and he’s very good at what he does. Just a
precaution, I know you
already
had a lot of testing done.”
Oh,
no
,
I thought.
Neurologist!.
Again
.
I wonder if they can find something wrong in
my
brain this time, like I’m really schizophrenic or something.
That would explain
what’s
been happening to me—the things I’ve been seeing and the
accidents—they’re
not
real.
The
dark thought made me sick to my stomach. I suddenly felt pale but
quickly hid behind a forced smile.
“
Well,
send your regards to your dad…and thanks for all your help so
far with the
Charity
Ball
.
It will be another successful event…your dad must be very
proud.”
“
I
will—thanks,” I muttered. The doctor left and came in a
red head woman. After I was poked for the third time, blood finally
pumped through the needle into the little tube container.
“
You’re
all set.” The medical assistant declared, as soon as she
withdrew the needle from my bruised arm, she immediately pressed a
cotton, then taped it, as soon as the sharp instrument left my vein.
“
Are
you okay, sweetie?” she questioned parentally after she
probably realized I looked a little too preoccupied with my thoughts.
“
I’m
fine,” I whispered. Ms. Miller came in to give me a piece of
paper
—
the
referral to a neurologist. I grabbed it and shoved it in my purse.
Coming
out, I felt a little relieved and excited. First, that my dad would
finally get off my back about seeing Dr. Hancock and second, that
Tristan waited for me. His eyes lit as I came out of the examination
room.
“
I
guess I’ll live, you’re off the hook,” I blurted,
as I hurried my feet to join him. A sudden flash of darkness covered
his face in gloom.
“
Would
you please stop, it wasn’t your fault I was weak,” I
sternly said.
“
I’d
counter that but you wouldn’t like what I have to say,”
he said without humor. He glared darkly.
“
Try
me,” I dared. I knew he’d been holding on to something,
that much was clear.
“
You’re
right, but I should’ve known better, the human capacity,”
he interjected. I didn’t pursue the issue.
“
Are
you a medical doctor now?” I teased.
“
He
half smiled, looking like he contemplated on an answer.” He
walked next to me as we headed out
—
taking
the elevator down out to the main lobby and out to the parking lot.
“
What
did the doctor say?” he asked anxiously as soon as we got in
the car, shutting his door a little harder than he should have. His
eyebrows creased in curiosity.
“
Well,
you know the usual. He’d only listened to my heart and pumped
blood…and he’s referring me to a neurologist.”
“
A
neurologist?…are you okay?” his voice was agitated. A
part of me wanted to share everything with Tristan, but I held it. I
wasn’t sure, this was something that I could share with him or
anyone.
“
I
really am fine.”
“
Are
you working tomorrow?” Good, a question, I wasn’t too
afraid to answer.
“
No.”
Lonnie, forbid me from coming to work tomorrow
—
actually
for the next seven days. She said, she’d fire me if I showed
up.” I laughed.
He
laughed too.
“
Well,
good!” he said. I saw a hint of relief lifted from his face.
“
Will
you go out with me tomorrow, then?” he asked too casually. His
eyes,
smoldering.
That
was unexpected
.
That really caught me off guard. I was mystified again by his sudden
forwardness. I flushed.
“
Oh…like
in a date?” my words were low and my face couldn’t hide
my sudden
embarrassment
having to clarify, whether this was purely a casual hang out or
something else.
“
Yes,
like in a date,” he laughed silently. His face amused.
“
What?”
curious about the humor that I pretended to miss or at least wanted
clarified.
“
Nothing,
It’s just that…well…It’s a great thing when
there are
good
choices.”
his face in a stretched grin. I squinted, confused.
“
Sorry,
I think out loud and much too soon.”
“
Where
are we going?”
“
Hmm,
what’s your favorite casual place to eat?”
“
T
hat
’s
easy…the café across Andrews. I go there practically
everyday.”
“
So
the café it is.”
Choosing
Confessions
S
ipping
my refreshing ice cold lemonade at
La
Patisserie
,
I felt the familiar sudden butterflies in my stomach. I have never
been this nervous before
—
only
when I’m around him—It’s unnerving. It scared me. I
never wanted to give anyone this much power over me. It’s
unhealthy
—
very
—
very
unhealthy.
I
leaned back against my cushioned seat, waiting anxiously as I tapped
and fidgeted my fingers against the table top as my mind wandered and
my unhealthy curiosity and obsession with him continued to frighten
me. As much as I didn’t like that my emotions were too close to
the surface, and I didn’t know what secrets he’d been
hiding, but more importantly, what if I didn’t want to know!
What if the mystery is better than the truth!
But
before I could fill in the blanks in my thoughts, he came in the
door. In a flash
—
all
my logic and all my thinking process went out the window. It didn’t
seem to make sense that he’s here to meet me. I couldn’t
quite put a finger on a wave of strange feelings that crashed into me
at that moment. It seemed too unfair that one being could be this
beautiful and perfect. I sighed, as I continued to take in all of
him.
Although,
slender and smooth carved lean muscles dominated his physical
features
—
his
eyes, rich in a striking slate of gray, heated his mesmerizing glare
that balanced of danger and hypnotic. His face, all perfect angles,
perfectly drawn was a sight I couldn‘t gaze my eyes away from.
His hair, thick, smooth and
sexy
messy
,
like I want my hands to get lost in them and stay in them for as long
as he allowed me to; they were caramel brown or maybe chocolate
caramel
—
d
elicious.
I
suddenly found myself wanting to touch the strands, his face, his
cheeks, kiss him
—
all
of him
—
again.
It
was as if I wanted him to belong with me.
He
wore a black leather jacket, long sleeves and black jeans. He also
wore something else
—
something
that made me suddenly jump off my seat and scare my thoughts away. He
wore a worried look
—
the
kind of look when someone was questioning whether they’ve made
a mistake or not; his once angelic face wore an emotion so fragile, a
war could have broken out in a time of peace.
He
sat in front of me, inches from my face. My heart skipped several
beats as I breathed the heavenly scent coming off his skin. Looking
at my eyes for a full ten seconds without saying a word, he looked
terrified, worried, confused. If looks could kill was an
understatement when it came to his glare; It was beginning to burn me
like he could see inside my soul.