Codependent No More Workbook (25 page)

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
   
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
   
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God
   as we understood Him
   .
   
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
   
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
   
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
   
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
   
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
   
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
   
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
    
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God,
    as we understood Him
    , praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
    
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
    

CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS (CODA)

1. We admitted we were powerless over others—that our lives had become unmanageable.
   
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
   
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
   
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
   
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
   
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
   
7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
   
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
   
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
   
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
    
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
    
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other co-dependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
    

AL-ANON/ALATEEN

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
   
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
   
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God
   as we understood Him
   .
   
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
   
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
   
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
   
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
   
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
   
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
   
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
    
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God
    as we understood Him
    , praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
    
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
    

GAM-ANON

1. We admitted we were powerless over the problem in our family.
   
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living. Gam-Anon states that a belief in a Higher Power along with an honest look at themselves will help to resolve their fears, worries, and suspicions.
   
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this power of our own understanding. Step three is the willingness to accept the will of a Higher Power and to let go of self-will. Self-will is said to be at the very root of bitterness, worries, and unhappiness among Gam-Anon members.
   
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This can be a very difficult step since most Gam-Anon members have been blaming the gambler for his or her own shortcomings. Gam-Anon provides a list of personal assets and liabilities to use as a guideline when working on step four.
   
5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. In this step one seeks out a person who can be trusted to share the information from his or her fourth step inventory. As the person “unloads” his or her past, a feeling of freedom and peace of mind enables him or her to continue growing in recovery.
   
6. Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed. Recognizing and owning personal character defects in steps four and five now allow members to bring about positive change. Gam-Anon states that many of their members begin working on self-pity and resentment toward their long-term goal, which is peace of mind.
   
7. Humbly ask God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings. After becoming well aware of one’s shortcomings, help is now required in order to change. Having made a decision to turn one’s will over to a Higher Power in step three, it is time to humbly ask Him to remove one’s shortcomings.
   
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Step eight asks for a list to be made of all those harmed. Early on it can be difficult to realize how one has harmed so many people. Harsh punishment, misdirected anger and criticizing others can be common reasons for harming family, friends, or co-workers.
   
9. Made direct amends to such people whenever possible except when to do so would injure them or others. Making amends to those harmed is an opportunity to bring about change in the spirit of love, kindness, and general well-being. Step nine also states that one should be careful not to hurt anyone in the process of making amends.
   
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. Complacency can lead back to old feelings and behaviors. Step ten asks to reflect on oneself on a daily basis to evaluate one’s own progress or shortcomings. Step ten also requires the person to admit to any wrongdoing immediately. Following this step will lead toward spiritual growth and serenity.
    
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us, and the power to carry that out. This step will open the door to a new and more spiritual way of living. It is suggested to start each day with a prayer or thought of one’s Higher Power to make each day a better day.
    
12. Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to others. Having had some measure of success in working through the other steps, it is now time to carry out the main purpose of the Gam-Anon program, which is to help others who are still suffering from the gambling problem in their home.