I found myself staring at Cade across the fire. He looked so sad. I didn’t know what was going on with him, but I couldn’t stand to see him upset.
“Baby, I’m gonna give Jeff a ride home. He’s totally wasted and his parents are gonna kick his ass if he misses his curfew. I’ll take the back roads and drive real slow.”
“Okay, just be careful. You’re not exactly sober.”
Branch nodded, kissed my cheek, and then he helped Jeff climb up in the truck.
“I ain’t gonna tell you again, dude. You puke in my fuckin’ truck and you will clean it out with your tongue. You got me?
Your tongue
.” Branch was good with words. Hopefully he wouldn’t kill himself or anyone else on the short ride to Jeff’s house.
I didn’t know what the hell was wrong with Cade, but I was fixing to find out. I walked over and sat down in the dirt by him. “You okay, cowboy?” I asked.
He didn’t look up at me. He sat still as a statue, just staring out into the creek, peeling the label off of his beer. “Yeah, I’m fine, Suzy Q. Why the hell wouldn’t I be?”
“You look kinda sad tonight and you didn’t bring anyone with you. That’s definitely not normal Cade behavior.” I punched him in the shoulder. I was trying to make a joke, but it wasn’t working. “I thought since we were friends, you might wanna bend my ear and tell me what’s got you down.”
I really hoped the problem with him wasn’t trouble with some skank. Hearing about some chick he screwed that had some disease or wanted to marry him was not my idea of a fun conversation, but we’re friends and I would listen, even though it would make me want to puke on the inside.
“Not my normal behavior, huh? Not normal Cade Fuckin’ Walker behavior? The fuck you say? You’re totally right, Suzy Q. You’re my
friend.
” He rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered, “As I recall, you were much more than my
friend
not too long ago.” He placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed. “Do you remember how it felt when I slid inside you for the first time? How it felt when I pushed in deeper and deeper.” His words were making my heart race and I could feel my cheeks getting redder and redder. “Does he make you feel the way I did that night, Suzy Q? Has he seen the way your eyes, those deep pools of whiskey, look when you’re about to come around his cock as he pushes himself inside ya?”
He leaned away. Taking a sip of his beer, he uttered, “I need to get the hell outta here. I’m goin’ for a walk.”
“Where the hell are you going?” I asked as I stood up and dusted off my skirt.
“I’m just gonna walk. I need to get away from here.” Cade never stopped walking as he talked. “I’ll see ya later.”
Bullshit.
He thought he could just say that shit to me and then walk away?
Bullshit!
I was gonna walk with him whether he liked it or not. I needed to know what the hell was wrong with him. Besides that, he was too drunk to be out wandering in the field by himself. I would never forgive myself if he drowned in the creek because I didn’t go after him. Sure, that was the reason I followed him.
When he reached the trees, he took off his cowboy hat and threw it down on the ground. He ran his fingers through his messy blonde hair. The moon was shining down on him and he was just, absolutely stunning. That perfect nose, strong jaw, and the most beautiful lips I’d ever seen. Why, oh why, did that man have to be so gorgeous? Just then he turned and saw me coming up behind him.
“What the fuck, Suzy Q? I told ya I’d see ya later.” He looked really pissed and mix that with the insane amount of alcohol he had downed tonight - lethal combination. He sauntered over to me and put his hands on my hips. “Why don’t you ever listen to me? You never fuckin’ do what I tell you to do. Never.” His fingers were digging into the skin right about the waist of my skirt.
I was looking up at him and the moonlight was shining off of his face. Damn, he was beautiful. No man should be allowed to be so beautiful. I couldn’t help myself. I reached up and ran my hand along his jaw. He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. Then I felt his lips on mine coaxing them open with his tongue. I ran my hands up his chest and into his hair.
He walked us back toward the trunk of a huge maple tree. His leg slid in between mine and his knee was touching a part of my body that was um, really happy to have him there. Oh fricking hell, it felt good. Our kiss had taken on a mind of its own. We were devouring each other. I could taste the booze on his breath and he tasted perfect. He tasted like - Cade.
His hand worked its way under my shirt and he cupped my breast in his hand. “Perfect, so fuckin’ perfect.” He moaned as he moved his hand over to do the same thing to my other breast.
“Cade. Oh shit, Cade.” I couldn’t let this happen. He was drunk and horny. I was not that drunk and had no excuse for letting it go so far. It was those words he had said earlier. They sobered me up and apparently turned me into just another horny teenager. God, he felt so damn good. I tried to pull away and he held me tighter.
“Please. Please let me do this,” he whispered against my neck. Then his hand left my breast and I felt it slide up my skirt. He was tugging at my panties. Pushing them aside, he ran the pad of his thumb over my clit.
Holy shit!
“Cade. Stop. We can’t do this. You’re drunk and you don’t know what you’re doing. Stop.” I pushed hard on his chest and he stumbled back a little.
When he got his bearings, he grabbed my shoulders. He slid his tongue from my shoulder to my ear. When he got to my ear, he nibbled on the lobe and a shiver traveled up my spine. “I think we both know that I know exactly what I’m doin’. And I know you want this,
baby.
Let me fuck you like
he
does. I guaran-damn-tee you, I’m a better man, but you already know that, don’t ya?”
It took every ounce of power in me to push that bastard to the ground. “How fucking dare you, Cade Walker. What the hell makes you think you have the right to speak to me that way?” I started walking back toward the creek.
“You know it’s the truth. You know I’m better than him, in every way possible.”
I ran back toward him and pushed my finger into his chest. “How the fuck would I know that, Cade? You think you know everything, but you don’t know a damn thing.”
He grabbed my arm as I turned to walk away. “What are you talkin’ about? Are you seriously tryin’ to tell me you haven’t fucked him? Right. That’s why the damn man whore of Dexter High School is still with you. Because you
don’t
spread your legs for him. That’s not very believable, Suzy Q.” I had never hit anyone before and I wished I had known how bad it would hurt, but at that moment it wouldn’t have mattered. The stupid, drunk bastard deserved the slap across the face.
He was rubbing his jaw, mumbling something about crazy women, when I decided I was still pissed and his mumbling was not helping the situation. So, I knee’d him in the balls. He bent over in pain, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“You think you know so damn much about me? Well, Cade Fucking Walker, you don’t know a damn thing about me. And this guy that you’ve been acting like tonight is an asshole and I hope to hell I never run into him again.”
As I walked away, he yelled, “You got that right,
baby
. I’m Cade Fuckin’ Walker and there ain’t a woman alive who doesn’t want what I’ve got in my pants.”
“Another thing you don’t know, cowboy. I sure as hell don’t want that
thing
now, or ever again.” That wasn’t exactly true, but by the look on his face when I walked away, my words worked. Through his drunken gaze, I could see a little remorse. That hadn’t been Cade talking tonight. It had to have been the booze and the fact that he didn’t bring anyone with him. He was just horny. That had to be it.
When Branch finally got back, I told him I wasn’t feeling well. He took me home and didn’t even bother with trying to get into my pants. Apparently, he could tell I really wasn’t in the mood. I went in the house, took a shower, and tried my damnedest to wash away the smell that was Cade Walker.
The next morning, when I walked outside to pick up the newspaper for my dad, I found this note on my porch:
I was an asshole…forgive me?
The note was stuck to the top of the new
Brooks and Dunn
CD. Cade knew they were my favorite and he knew he was a total jerk last night. I decided to let it go and try to pretend that it didn’t happen. Reliving it and being pissed off at him wouldn’t make me feel any better and it wouldn’t help the situation either. I needed that cocky cowboy in my life.
~Chapter 7~
Eighteen Years Old
Cade~
My senior year had been the longest year of my damn life. I had worked so hard to get to this day - graduation day. I wanted to make my mom proud. Thank God I was gonna graduate with the rest of my class. It had been touch and go for a while.
After everything that happened with Suzy Q I decided to turn off that part of me. You know that sappy- ass part that thought he was gonna have a future with some girl. I was fuckin’ crazy to think that we were gonna live happily ever after. That was all a load of bullshit anyway. I didn’t need that. All I needed was a good time, so the last year had been all about having fun.
And fun I had, tons of it. Lots of girls. So many girls. So many damn girls! I had thoroughly enjoyed every girl within the town, um, maybe county was a better representation. I made it to graduation. I wore the black gown, but like hell would I trade in my Stetson for that stupid little black cap.
“Son, if you have to wear your cowboy hat, please let me hang your tassel from it. Please? For me?” My mom was beggin’, so of course I couldn’t turn her down. She stuck the black and gold tassel in the band of my black Stetson. I must’ve looked alright, because when I got up to the stage to get my diploma, there was a lot of screamin’ and cat-callin’ goin’ on. Yep, I was definitely loved.
“Hey, cowboy.” I heard Suzy Q call after me as she walked off the stage from gettin’ her diploma. I turned around and put my arms around her waist and swung her around in a circle.
“We did it. We really did it.” She was blushin’ at me and I realized the double meaning in my statement. I clarified, “We really graduated. How’s that song go? No more teachers, no more pencils, no more dirty looks?”
Suzy Q laughed. “I don’t think that’s how the song goes, cowboy.”
Callie came up behind us and threw her arms around Suzy Q. “It’s finally over! Thank you Jesus!” Callie let go of Suzy Q and slid down the wall to sit on the ground. She had never been a big fan of school. Like me, she was more into havin’ a good time.
“Ya’ll comin’ to the party tonight?” I asked the girls. I really hoped their answer was yes.
“Um, I’m not sure, Cade. It’s been a long day and I just wanna go home and get outta this gown.”
“I could help you get outta of it, babe,” Branch smirked as he walked up behind Suzy Q and placed his arms around her waist. He leaned in and kissed her neck. Her eyes never left mine. I knew she could tell that I didn’t like him bein’ all over her like that. My nostrils were flarin’ and I could feel the fire travelin’ up my face.
I had to keep tellin’ myself - she wanted him. She chose him. Not me.
Him
. I knew he was an asshole. I knew he slept around on her and I couldn’t believe she was givin’ herself to him. It fuckin’ killed me inside. I wasn’t one to talk. Hell I’d slept with half, you know cause half were men, the county. But I wouldn’t have, if she had chosen me. She made it very clear what our relationship was. We were best friends and I couldn’t or wouldn’t ask for anything more. Besides, I was not the kinda guy to provide a forever future to anyone. Right? Guys like me weren’t one women men. All we did was hurt the women we loved. I told myself that so many times that I’d finally started to believe it.
“I think ya’ll should at least stop by. We gotta say goodbye to high school, right?”
I couldn’t help it. When he didn’t take his hands off of her, all I could think was -
Get your damn hands off of her you mother-fucker.
“I definitely think we should go the party, babe. I can’t imagine anything better than kissin’ you under the moonlight by a bonfire,” Branch said as he stepped in front of Suzy Q and placed a kiss on her cheek. That asshole was makin’ me sick.
“Cade! Cuz!” I heard Cord yellin’ while he ran down the stairs to get to me. Clay was taggin’ along behind him.
“Congrats, Cade,” Clay said. He threw his scrawny little arms around me and squeezed me hard. He was a sweet little bastard. He was gonna be nothin’ but trouble though. He just had one of those faces that told you he was a mess waitin’ to happen.
“Thanks, Clay.” I patted his head and he ran across the gym to see my parents. “We gonna get drunk tonight or what?” I asked Cord.
“You bet your ass. I ain’t been to a high school party in a couple of years. This is gonna be epic, cuz.”
“What the hell happened to you in college? Epic? Who the fuck talks like that?”
“You’re fuckin’ awesome older, cooler cousin. That’s who.” Cord grabbed me in a headlock. He knocked my damn hat off.
“Asshole let me go. I need my hat.” When he let go of me, I spun around on my heel and ran right into Suzy Q. She was holdin’ my hat out to me.
“Think you dropped something, cowboy.” She smiled when she handed it back to me.
“Thanks,” I mumbled when she started to walk away. Sheepishly, I said, “Suzy Q, please come to the party tonight. It’ll be our last high school hurrah. I don’t want to do it without ya.”
She bit her lip and I could tell she was thinkin’ about it. “I’ll try, okay? I make no promises, but I’ll try.”
That was all I could ask for. I just wanted her to try.
Suzanna~
Branch’s family had a huge, fancy graduation party at his house. Not only was his entire family there, but I think most of the town was too. Everyone knew and loved Chief Johnson, therefore, they felt the need to kiss his son’s ass.