He finally caught my gaze. “Suz, what’re you doin’ here?” I couldn’t say anything. I just stood there like a moron holding my lemon bars.
“Can’t you see Cade and me are busy? Why don’t you just get on home?” Anna hissed as she clung onto Cade’s arm.
Cade shook out of her grasp, stood up, and walked toward me. “Those lemon bars for me?”
I finally squeaked out, “Uh, yeah. For us. I brought two.”
“Lemon bars are my favorite. Can I have a bite of yours, Cade?” Anna sounded so whiny. How could he want to kiss that whiny mouth?
“I think you better go home, Anna,” he grumbled as he turned and walked toward her. He leaned down and whispered something in her ear. She giggled and walked past me. She bumped into me with her shoulder and I swear I heard her say, “Mine” as she walked away.
“Come sit down with me, Suz.” Cade was motioning for me to join him on the swing.
Slowly, I walked up the steps and sat down by him. Our legs were touching and he tried to take the lemon bars from my hand. When our hands touched, I felt like something snapped in me. That was the moment I realized something - I was mad at him.
“Why’d you kiss her, Cade? Do you like her?” I asked, looking down at the lemon bars that I was starting to really hate.
“Why’d you let Branch kiss you, Suz? Do you like him?” he asked as he grabbed my chin and made me look up at him.
“How’d you know he kissed me?” I was so surprised. How could he have known that? It just happened.
“I was there. I saw him and you looked pretty darn happy when he left. Since when do you like Branch Johnson? And since when are you his
sweetheart
?” Cade asked me with his eyebrows all scrunched up.
“I don’t know, Cade. It felt good when he kissed me. I’d been waiting for my first kiss and I’m glad it’s over with.” I pulled my chin out of his grasp and pulled the plastic wrap off of the plate in my hands. I pulled off a piece of my lemon bar and shoved it in my mouth.
“So you just wanted to get it over with? That’s why you let him kiss ya?” He asked me with a totally confused look on his face.
“You didn’t answer my question. Why’d you kiss Anna? Since when do you like
her
? I know she’s always liked you, but I didn’t know you liked her.”
“No, Suz, I don’t like her and I didn’t kiss her, she kissed me. I kinda thought...well, never mind.”
“You thought what, Cade?” I asked.
“Well, I kinda thought you’d be my first kiss.” He grabbed a piece of lemon bar from my hand and popped it in his mouth. I couldn’t take my eyes off his lips. Apparently he didn’t count the kiss on the cheek in the third grade as our first kiss, but I always would.
Cade leaned my way and whispered, “Maybe I could be your second kiss?”
I could feel his breath on my face. He smelled like lemon bars and bubblegum. Bubblegum? I looked at his mouth, his lips were pink. He had Anna’s bubblegum flavored lip gloss all over his mouth. He wasn’t going to kiss me with that on his face, or at all. We were best friends. We shouldn’t be kissing anyway.
“No, Cade. We’re best friends. Best friends don’t kiss. That would only screw stuff up. I just came over to tell you I was sorry for stealing your trunks and to bring you a lemon bar as a peace offering.”
He popped some more lemon bar in his mouth and we sat there quietly eating.
He finally broke the silence. “I’m sorry you saw us kissin’.” He sounded really sad.
“Me too.” As hard as I tried to not sound sad, I didn’t think there was any way I couldn’t. I didn’t cry because, as sad as I was, I was still a little angry. I was angry at him for kissing Anna and angry at me for kissing Branch. It felt like I had really screwed everything up today. If Cade hadn’t seen me kiss Branch, maybe he wouldn’t have kissed Anna. Guess we wouldn’t ever know the answer to that. I wanted him to be my first real kiss, but it was too late. Branch was mine and Anna was his. That was done. It couldn’t be changed.
When I got to school the next day, Callie was waiting for me. She was a petite little thing with really long straight blonde hair. It was almost white and she had really big blue eyes. She was exactly what you would expect a cheerleader to look like. And she was about that perky, too. I was not known for being perky. I was more snarky than perky.
“So, how was your weekend?” Before I could even answer, she started in. “I’m sure you spent the whole weekend with Cade. God, that boy is so cute! I do not know how you can spend so much time with him and not just wanna kiss him and hug him!” She was just plain giddy. It was too much for this early in the morning.
“You know that Cade and I are friends, ya know, like we’re friends. I ain’t gonna kiss and hug on you either.” I was laughing, but not for long.
She grabbed me in a big ole bear hug and started jumping up and down. “You will hug on me...because you love me. Now give me a kiss.” She had her lips all puckered up, I was just glad she had quit the hopping.
“You’re a crazy girl,” I snickered as I turned away from her and starting pulling books out of my locker.
“Mornin', girls.” Cade was walking to his locker, which happened to be right next to mine. “Ya’ll have a good weekend? Well, I know Suzanna did, did you, Callie?”
Callie always got a little tongue-tied when Cade was around. I thought it was really funny, she did not.
“Um, yeah - sure - uh- yeah- weekend - good.” She was beet red and I’m pretty sure she was shaking. It totally cracked me up. I had to laugh out loud at her. She slapped my arm and Cade just grinned and started down the hall to homeroom.
“So, what did Cade mean by that?” Callie asked when she finally pulled herself together.
“Um, by what?” I was trying to act like I didn’t know what she was talking about - yeah, she saw right through that. She pulled me into the hallway by the cafeteria.
“What did you do this weekend, Suzanna Marie Mallory?” She was holding on to my shoulders for dear life. This felt like the Spanish inquisition.
“Nothing. I didn’t do anything. I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
“Really? I didn’t think it was nothin’,” Branch chimed in. He must’ve heard us because he was standing beside me now. “So, my kissin’ you was nothin’?” He was giving me that little sideways grin of his.
“I better get to class. Can’t be late again! Mr. Kennett will kick my butt.” Callie backed away and was pointing at me mouthing “later”. Crap, I was gonna have to talk to her about this, but first I should probably talk to the boy standing right in front of me.
“So, nothin’ huh?” he asked again as he took my hand in his. Was he really holding my hand? A kiss and hand holding all in the same week? Whoa.
“Maybe we should do it again. Just so I can show you that it wasn’t nothin’.” He leaned in and started to put his lips on mine when I heard something crash to the ground in the kitchen.
“Um, we aren’t supposed to do that at school, Branch.” I was walking out the door, when I turned around and looked him in the eye. “It wasn’t nothing by the way. It was my first real kiss.”
~Chapter 4~
Sixteen Years Old
Suzanna~
“You going to this party tonight at Branch’s house?” I asked Cade as he came around the corner to my front step.
“I was plannin’ on it. How ‘bout you, Suzy Q?”
I hated it when he called me that. It just started a few months ago. We had driven into town with some friends to grab a burger and Cade just realized, even though we had eaten at this place a zillion times, that the dairy queen was called Suzy Q’s. From that moment on he had called me Suzy Q. That boy could be so damn annoying.
“I’m thinking about it. Branch wants me to go with him,” I mumbled as I fiddled with the lace trim on my peach colored t-shirt. I knew Cade wasn’t real fond of Branch, but I liked him. He was cute, he liked me, and he was one heck of a kisser. He told me I was pretty and he looked at me like he actually thought I was.
“You’re gonna go with
him
? Really?” Cade asked as he jumped up the few steps on my porch to stand in front of me. He ran his hand through his blonde hair and his bright green eyes were glistening as the sunlight hit them. It made them look like green ice.
Cade was the most handsome boy I had ever seen. He had a strong jaw and perfect nose. His muscles were accentuated by the farmers tan he always sported. He always wore old t-shirts with the sleeves cut out. One of my favorite pastimes was to do my homework out in the barn while Cade worked and I tried to catch a glimpse of those muscles. (Sure, homework, that’s what I was doing!) I loved it when his forehead would have that layer of sweat on it and the muscles in his arms were strained while he bucked hay in the stalls. He was just sex on a stick. If the body didn’t get you, that damn deep voice with the country drawl would do it every time.
I could feel my face getting hot. I needed to quit thinking about Cade like that. He was my best friend, not my boyfriend. Branch was my boyfriend, well kinda sorta. I couldn’t talk to Cade about Branch and I didn’t want to hear about his girlfriends, (plural), either.
Callie wasn’t real fond of Branch, either. She would harp at me about him and then ask why in the world Cade and I weren’t a couple. She just couldn’t comprehend that a guy and girl could be friends without wanting to rip each other’s clothes off. That was absolutely ridiculous. Of course we could be friends, and of course I wouldn’t mind seeing Cade without his clothes on.
Holy crap…I couldn’t even believe that thought popped into my head, but if I was being honest, it was happening a lot recently. Fricking puberty had hit me hard and I was definitely seeing a man when I looked at Cade Walker. I saw a man when I looked at Branch, too, but he just didn’t make me feel the things in my nether regions that Cade did.
Branch and I had been a couple since that first kiss. We hadn’t really gotten serious until the past few months, though. We were making out all the time - in his truck, at school, behind the police station where his dad worked as the Police Chief. Wherever we could find a place, we did it. Not
it
…but everything else. Branch was really wanting to go all the way and I had made up my mind to do it soon. I was tired of thinking about it and I just wanted to get it over with. It wasn’t like I wasn’t ever gonna have sex again. This first time thing was ridiculous. It didn’t need to be special…it was just sex. Boy, wouldn’t my mom be proud of me if she knew that was how I felt about it?
“Um, yeah. I’m gonna go with Branch,” I answered trying not to think about Cade’s lips as he was giving me that look he always gave me. That look that made me want to melt and sent shivers from my head to my toes. I couldn’t feel that way about Cade. It was
Cade
. I had to get control of my feelings...this was absolutely ridiculous.
Cade reached out and put his hand on my elbow, “I don’t like him, Suzy Q. He’s not the right guy for you.”
I wanted to say, “No Cade, he isn’t the right guy for me. You are. You’re that guy.” But of course, I didn’t say that. Cade didn’t like me that way. He saw me as the little girl who he used to chase up a tree, who just happened to have boobs.
“I like him, Cade. And, yes I’m gonna go to the party with him. Who are you gonna take?” I asked, knowing I wasn’t gonna like the answer.
“I, well, I’m takin’ Anna,” he confessed as he looked down at his hand holding onto my elbow.
I couldn’t figure out what the hell he saw in her. It might’ve had something to do with the fact that her boobs were huge and always sticking out of her shirt, she was blonde, oh, and she giggled every time he spoke. Yeah, those things might have something to do with it. I guess that was all it took to get Cade to like you that way. That sure wasn’t me. My boobs were average sized, my curly red hair was usually a mess all over my head, and I sure as hell wasn’t prone to giggling at every word any guy said.
“You ain’t one to talk, cowboy. Taking that skank to the party. You trying to get in her pants? Oh, never mind, you’ve probably already been there. Maybe even more than once.” I pushed him away from me and plopped down on the porch swing.
He sat down beside me and kicked back so the porch swing started swinging wildly. “I ain’t been in her pants, Suzy Q.” He looked sincere, but with Cade you never could tell. “I ain’t been in any girl’s pants, yet.” The way he said “yet” made me think he planned on doing it real soon.
“What do you mean ‘yet’? You’ve never done
it
, Cade? Really? Like I believe that.” I couldn’t even hide the look of pure and utter shock on my face. I’d heard stories about Cade all year. All the girls talked about him and the time they spent with him. He had quite the reputation.
“Well, don’t look so damned surprised there, Suzy Q,” he replied sarcastically. “I ain’t been screwin’ every girl in sight. Those are just rumors spread around by girls that want to get in my pants or get me outta my pants.” He said that last part with that little sideways smile on his face that I loved. “Um, have you done
it
?” He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and sat those intense green eyes on mine.
I could feel the blush creep up my cheeks. “You can’t ask me that. Ladies don’t answer questions like that, Cade.”
“Yeah, but you ain’t a lady,” he said.
“Wow, thanks, Cade.”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Suzy Q. You’re definitely a lady, but you’re my best friend first. Now, just answer my damn question.”
“Why? Why do you care?” I asked meeting his stare. Those eyes felt like they were looking straight into my soul.
“What do ya mean, why do I care? Why the hell do you think I care? I wanna know if some punk has taken advantage of my friend.” I could tell he was pissed. The thought of me having sex seemed to really bother him. It kinda made me feel special that he cared.
“Well, don’t worry, Cade, my virtue is still intact. Well, as of right now. I'm sick of hearing about it, though. I just wanna get it over with, ya know? That’s all anybody at school talks about. I’m sick of being a virgin. I wanna give it up. Maybe I could do it tonight at the party? I heard a bunch of girls talking about the party after gym class yesterday. Apparently, that is the place to lose your V card. Maybe we could both do it tonight, just get it over with?”