Authors: Mitchel Grace
“Before you go, I wanted to do you one
more favor. I own a nightclub downtown. I’ll tell my boys to let you two in and
serve you drinks on the house. I think this calls for a celebration, don’t
you?” he asked.
“I thought I was trying to keep Emmitt
out
of trouble.”
“There won’t be any trouble. Part of
managing someone is letting
them
enjoy life sometimes.
Just don’t let things get too out of hand. Enjoy yourself, kid. You only live
once,” he said and proceeded to give me directions to the club.
When
I was off the phone, I told Emmitt what he said. I didn’t think it was a good
idea for us to go. I had school the next day, and Emmitt had practice. If I
were
managing
him, then did this
really seem like the brightest idea?
“You’ve
got to learn to relax a little, Eric. If we’re going to be in this together for
at least the next four years, then we might as well have some fun, don’t you
think?” Emmitt asked.
“I
guess you’re right.”
“There
we go! You’re going to see. The next few years are going to be fun. Stick with
me, and you’ll have more cash, alcohol, and women than you ever dreamed of.”
“Women?
How exactly are you going to get me women?”
“I
was the number one recruit in the country. I was in magazines and even on
television when I made my decision to come here. When you’re in my position, a
lot of girls start seeing dollar signs. I can’t handle all the women that throw
themselves at me. How about I give you ten percent of that, too,” he joked.
“I’ve
got a girl back at home.”
“Where
is that exactly?”
“In
Wisconsin.”
“All
right then. She’s in Wisconsin, and you’re here. I don’t see what the issue is.
Do you actually think that she’s waiting on you? She’s probably on some dude
right now.”
“Olivia
isn’t that way. If there’s one thing that’s off limits, it’s talking about
her.”
“Okay,
there’s no need to get all wound up. All I’m saying is this. She’ll still be
there when college is over. Why not enjoy life with me to the fullest until you
can go back to Wisconsin?”
“I
don’t know. Let’s just go and see where the night takes us.”
“Sounds
good. You’re going to come around soon enough. There are reasons I came to
Miami, and I’m going to show you those reasons tonight.”
We
went to the club, and I quickly learned why Emmitt chose Miami. That club was
full of people who were willing to buy Emmitt and me whatever we wanted, not
that we needed them to, thanks to William. Emmitt was like a celebrity, and
because I was with him, so was I. Besides the celebrity status, it was clear
that most people in this club had a lot of money. A lot of it was probably
dirty money, but there was an opportunity to be rich in this town, nonetheless.
The final reason for choosing Miami was simple - the girls. You would be
hard-pressed to find a more beautiful group of people than were in the club that
night. When Emmitt went to get us more drinks, he came back with two girls. He
introduced one of them to me, and then she sat down beside me. She was
gorgeous. Her sandy blonde hair and blue eyes mixed with her perfectly bronzed
legs were enough to get the attention of any man. Then there was the rest of
her. I hadn’t seen someone who got my attention that much since the first time
I saw Olivia. That thought made me feel guilty. Should I be doing this? I loved
a girl back in Wisconsin. The girl in front of me meant nothing to me. Sure,
she was beautiful, but not in the same way as Olivia. Then again, Olivia wasn’t
there, and as far as I knew, I might not be seeing her again for a long time. Could
it really hurt to have a little fun while I was in college? I had already
accepted a lot of money to do something that was highly illegal, and I was
drinking when I was nowhere near old enough. Was talking to this woman when I
wasn’t even attached really so bad by comparison? I loosened up and started
talking to her in the same way I would talk to Olivia. It turned out that she
was an education major who came to the club for the free drinks that were
always being thrown her way. Her name was Cindy. The main thing that she talked
about, however, was how I knew Emmitt. It was obvious that the girls were more
interested in him, or to be more exact, the attention he drew. Anyone with us
was the object of attention from other club goers, and they also drank for
free. I didn’t really let it bother me that she was more interested in asking
questions about Emmitt than me, though. He was the star there, and if nothing
else, I could meet a lot of people thanks to him. I figured that in time Cindy
would see how great I was on my own.
“Hey,
Eric, Jessica and I are thinking about taking this party back to their place.
Are you guys coming?” Emmitt asked with one eyebrow raised.
“Uh,
yeah,” I said hesitantly.
I
had already been drinking too much, and my head was spinning. It all happened
so fast. Before I knew it, we were at their place, and I was in Cindy’s
bedroom. She was kissing me. We hadn’t actually made a connection big enough to
justify this, but we were both drunk and clearly attracted to one another. I
knew it was nothing more than a hookup. I wasn’t the type of guy to have sex
just to have it. As she took my shirt off, I pulled away.
“What’s
wrong?” she asked.
“I’ve
got to go. Things are moving really fast, and I have a girlfriend back in
Wisconsin, or at least she’s something.”
“Wisconsin
is a long way from here, Eric. If you want to leave, you know where the door
is, but I don’t think you really want to go. You’ve been shy since we met. I
think this is the first time in your life that you’ve had a spontaneous
connection with someone and just went with it. Maybe that scares you.”
“And
what if it does?”
“Then
I’ll tell you not to worry about it. I’ll take the lead here. In the morning,
this can mean however much or little as you want. Right now, I think you need
to lay back and let me show you how to have fun,” Cindy said and wrapped her
arms around me.
As
our lips met, I gave in. Over the last twenty-four hours, I had accepted dirty
money and went home with a girl I barely knew after Olivia called to make sure
that we could have a shot at a future together. I thought about a lot of things
while I was with Cindy. One was how I had gotten to this place. I remembered my
first taste of love. I saw a girl across the street in Green Bay, and I knew I
loved her. What was this, though, but empty pleasure? What had I become? In
that moment, I was ashamed, but I was still too young to care enough to change
a thing. All of our actions catch up to us eventually, however. If only I could
go back to the beginning of that day. That was the beginning of riches and a
lot of joy, but it was also the start of what would cost me everything I ever
wanted and needed.
The
Morning After
The
following morning, I woke up with the worst headache I could imagine. It didn’t
hurt this bad when two cars hit me. As I searched through my scattered mind, I
remembered drink after drink from the night before. That’s when I turned over
and felt Cindy next to me. I sighed and put my hand on my head. How had I let
this happen? Did this make me a terrible person? I didn’t love her. For that
matter, I didn’t even know if I liked her. For all I knew, she was only around
me because I was Emmitt’s friend. Then there was the biggest question. Was I a
bad person for getting wrapped up in Emmitt’s world? I was no more than a
crook. Before I could question that any longer, a thought came to my mind. What
time was it? I grabbed my phone and saw that it was 8:46. I had class at nine,
and I figured that Emmitt did, too. Without hesitation, I stood and grabbed my
clothes. Then I ran into Jessica’s room and shook him awake.
“What
in the hell are you doing up this early? Go back to sleep,” he said.
“We’ve
got class. It’s almost nine.”
“Are
you serious? It’s the second day. We can miss. Go if you want, but I’m going
back to sleep.”
It
was my job to keep him out of trouble and at class, but he was right. It
was
just the second day. We would likely
only go over safety precautions for an emergency like we did in the Monday
classes. Besides, I was too hung over to actually get anything out of a lesson.
I decided to leave school for another day. I wasn’t about to do it there,
though. One thing was for sure. I didn’t want to give Cindy the impression that
the night before meant anything. That thought really hit me as I walked out to
my car. Was I that guy? I had basically used her. Then again, it wasn’t like I
hadn’t tried to stop things from happening. Was any of this really my fault? I
had just fallen into all of this. I didn’t ask for Emmitt to be my roommate,
and I didn’t even try to get Cindy to sleep with me. It all just kind of
happened. I thought all the way home about how that wasn’t necessarily true. I
had a choice in the matter. I could have said no to all of it, but I didn’t.
Maybe I’m more like my parents than I knew, I thought.
When
I got back to the dorm, I went straight to my room and crashed. As I was
passing out, I wondered what the future held. Was this truly what I wanted? It
only felt like I slept for a second, but then I awoke to the sound of the phone
ringing.
“Hello,”
I said sleepily.
“I
thought I put you in charge of taking care of Emmitt,” William said.
“What
are you talking about? He’s fine.”
“He
didn’t show up for classes or practice today.”
“That
won’t
happen again. When I find him,
I’ll remind him of what we have to lose. If I have to, I’ll drag him to
practice from now on,” I said and hung up.
I
drove back over to Cindy’s and knocked on the door. I heard Emmitt yell that it
was open, and when I stepped inside, I could see a thick fog of smoke in the
apartment. I immediately knew what was going on when I saw Emmitt. His eyes
were glazed over, and he was relaxed in a way that I had only experienced once
with Olivia when we experimented with marijuana.
“We’ve
got to go,” I said.
“Why?
You need to loosen up. Come on. Join us,” he said.
“Look,
you said you wanted me to manage things for you, and that’s what I’m doing. You
missed practice today, and some people are pissed about it. We can say you were
feeling sick or something like that, but you need to get out of here. Let’s go
back to the dorm and let this wear off, so you can get back to normal. There’s
too much at stake, and you can’t afford to blow it all now.”
“I’m
fine. People will get over me missing one day of practice. It’s . . .”
“Emmitt,
just come on. We’ve got a lot of money at stake here. Don’t blow an opportunity
to live a different life.”
“You’re
right. Ladies, thank you for a wonderful time,” he said and stood.
Emmitt
staggered out the door, and I drove him back to the dorms. He went to our room
and passed out almost instantly. The day was nearly gone, and everything was
starting to feel overwhelming to me. I needed someone to talk to
who
I trusted. I grabbed my phone and stepped outside. I
called the only person I could think of who might understand what I was going
through.
“Hello.”
“Uncle
Gary, I need someone to talk to,” I said.
“What’s
wrong?”
“I
can’t really say, but I’ve gotten in over my head here. I’m involved in
something that I know is wrong, but I don’t know how to get out of it or even
if I really want to.”
“You’ve
got to tell me more than that. What’s going on with you?”
“Can
I trust you? This is the type of thing that no one can know.”
“You’ve
always been able to trust me. Just let me in on what’s happening.”
I
told him everything. I never had this kind of dialogue with my mother or
father, but I had always been able to be honest with Uncle Gary. He wasn’t
judgmental, and I never got the feeling that he actually expected me to be anything
close to perfect. He just expected me to take responsibility for my actions.
“Maybe
you should come home. I mean
,
I know that was your
first home, but I think of you as ours. Maybe Miami is too much for you,” he
said.
I
was confused. Normally, he had some advice that helped me make the situation
right. Now all he was telling me to do was run away. What was I missing?
“I
don’t understand. You’ve never told me to run from a situation. Are things
really that bad for me?” I asked.
“Running
isn’t normally the best option. My brother . . . your father chose that city.
It’s a place where there’s a lot of opportunity, if you’re willing to bend the
rules. He found success, but look at the cost. When you came to me as a young
teenager, you weren’t filled with the ambition for power and wealth that he
was. That place can change people, though. At least it changes people in our
family. You weren’t the type of kid who would take dirty money, and you
certainly wouldn’t sleep with someone just for sex. You were innocent. I don’t
want to see that change, or at least not in this way.”
I
could hear the disappointment in his voice. My uncle truly thought highly of
me. How disappointing must I have been over those few months? He had seen me
reject the potential mother of my child and become a common crook in a span of
four months. I had to question
who
I even was now.
“I
can’t come home. You didn’t teach me to run. I’ll do better. I’ll find a way to
clean up the mess here,” I said.
“Sometimes
we can’t fix everything, Eric. You have a woman here who could still love you
and a family who always will. Are you sure you don’t want to walk away?”
“I’m
positive. You taught me better than that. Nothing like last night will ever
happen again, and I’m going to make the best out of the situation I’m in now. I
don’t know how yet, but I’ll turn this into a positive. If things go south,
I’ll take responsibility for my actions, too.”
“No.
If it comes to that, you’ll come home. I believe in standing up for a lot of
things, but I’m not going to lose another family member to that place.”
We
talked for a minute longer and got off the phone. I didn’t know it back then,
but I learned later that Uncle Gary made a call on my behalf that night. He
called Ms. Winters and asked for Olivia’s number. When it was all said and
done, he had called Olivia and told her about the trouble I was in. He told her
everything except about the girl I spent time with the night before. I think
Uncle Gary knew that there was only one person who could still remind me of who
I used to be. That was Olivia. She was the first person I had ever loved, and
that love was still pure. It might have been the last thing left that was pure
about me. Within a few minutes, I received a call from Olivia.
“Hello,”
I said.
“Hey,
I’m just calling to check in on you and give you some news. How are you doing?”
“I’m
doing all right. What’s the news?”
“First,
tell me what’s going on with you. I can always tell when you’re lying. Things
aren’t really fine, are they?”
“How
can you tell that?”
“You
have a certain sound in your voice when you’re sad or feeling overwhelmed. I
know you better than anyone, Eric. What’s wrong?”
“Let’s
just say that I got a very difficult roommate.”
“So
that’s all you can say about it?”
“It’s
not that I
can’t
say more. I just
don’t want to think about it right now. The best thing we can talk about is
you. I miss you.”
“I
miss you, too. You’ll tell me everything eventually, so I’ll give you some good
news instead of questioning you about this more. I’ve got a couple of weeks
between summer classes that are completely free. I was thinking I might drop in
during that time. What do you think?”
“You
would come to Miami?”
“Of
course. I’ve always wanted to see where you grew up.”
“I’ve
got to warn you. I don’t exactly live on the rich side of town anymore. I’m in
a dorm room right now.”
“I
don’t care what you live in. I just want to reconnect again. We wasted our last
months together being angry, or at least I did. I want to get back to the basics
with you.”
“And
what were the basics again?”
“You
know. Things used to be simple. We didn’t have to worry about what was or
wasn’t between us. I could laugh and joke with you. I think we were best
friends who just happened to love each other. That’s what I want.”
“I
agree. That’s a long time from now, though. It’s going to be hard to wait.”
“That’s
another thing we should talk about. I don’t expect you to wait on me. We broke
up in the summer, and given that we’re so far away, I wouldn’t say that we’re
together now. I don’t like the idea of you dating anyone else, but I don’t have
the right to ask you to wait until next summer. We’re both free to do what we
want. I just ask that you save a special place in your heart for me, no matter who
else you find there.”
“I
will always have a special place for you. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone
else.”
“I
hope not. So are you sure you don’t want to tell me what’s going on with your
roommate?”
“I
forgot how nosey you used to be,” I joked.
“Nosey?
As I recall, you were always the one asking me questions about every little
thing.”
“Me?
What are you talking about? I let you have your secrets.”
“Who
are you kidding? I told you everything. All I’m asking is for a little hint
about what’s so bad about this guy? Does he snore?” she joked.
“No.
If it was that simple, I would be all right.”
“Oh,
well, my roommate snores. I didn’t know that girls snored like her, but trust
me when I say that it
is
a big deal.
If the guy across the hall didn’t let me stay with him, I don’t know if I would
ever sleep.”
“Well,
that’s . . . wait a minute! Guy?”
“So
I
can
still make you jealous!”
“Forget
that! What guy?”
“There
is no guy, and my roommate doesn’t snore. I made it all up to see just how much
I could get under your skin. It looks like I’ve still got it,” Olivia said and
laughed.
“Thank
you. I really needed this.”
“Well,
if I had known me teasing you about other guys would make you feel so relieved,
I would have started doing it years ago,” she joked.
“I
wouldn’t count on it working in the future.”
“So
it’s just a one-time thing then?”
“Definitely.”
“All
right. You seriously need to tell me what’s going on with your roommate. Is he
involved in anything illegal?”
“Kind
of. Actually, I think it’s very illegal, and then there’s the drugs.”
“Drugs?
Don’t tell me you’re smoking again. We tried it that one time, and all you did
was stare off. I thought we agreed drugs weren’t for us after that.”
“I’m
not doing drugs. He just has some problems, and I’m trying to manage it for
him.”
“I
think you’ve got a lot to manage on your own. I say let him go his own way and
keep your life separate.”
“I
wish it were that easy.”
“It
is. Just trust me. Hang in there until I can see you in the summer. I’m sure
I’ll be able to straighten everything out then.”
“I
can’t wait.”
“All
right. I’ve got some things to do, so I’m going to get off here. Call me
anytime, though. I don’t mean to get overly emotional, but I’ve been doing a lot
of thinking. I know we have the choice to abort a fetus in this country, and to
most people, that’s all it is - a fetus. I think I made a horrible mistake a
few months ago, though. I think that was a child. No matter how bad we screwed
up, that still makes you the father of my child. I’m always going to be there
for someone I share that kind of history with.”