Did You Read That Review ? (68 page)

I’m finally home after two weeks in hospital. I thought it “would be funny” to put this on, sprinkle some bird scent on me and “surprise” my Brittanies. Well they all were surprised, and then the youngest one broke…

This caused the entire pack to break, and attempt to play tug-of-war with the giant bird that they had found. I was unable to get the mask off, and my screams only seemed to excite them more (they’ve never had a pigeon “squeaky” before).

The doctors say I should be back to normal in another month. Plenty of time for the $500 worth of dog training books to arrive.

3.8 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Accoutrements Squirrel Underpants

ASIN:
     B004I03BCM

Price:
     
$7.60

Are you sick and tired of squirrels running naked in the trees around your house? Have you had to hide your children’s eyes when a tiny, furry streaker crosses the sidewalk in front of you? We’ve got the answer: Squirrel Underpants. Each pair of tiny briefs has a 3” (7.6-cm) waist and is made of 95% cotton and 5% spandex. Also good for hamsters, frogs, and gerbils.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful

For the Squirrel Who Just Has to Strut

By
Lunar Boulevard
, August 28, 2013

If you have a squirrel who loves to look sexy and strut their stuff, then these underpants are far and away the best value around. Those pesky skid marks can be hard to wash out, but that’s the price you pay for looking this good. Many animals choose to run around naked, but squirrels can do better. These underpants are the proof.

735 of 749 people found the following review helpful

A style other than briefs would be appreciated

By
Timboliah PantsOnFiyah
, November 3, 2009

These little ‘tighty whiteys’ will do when the laundry is all piled up and your pet squirrel is far too modest to ‘go commando.’ My squirrel prefers boxers though…these tight little underbritches just don’t seem to have enough room for his nuts.

26 of 30 people found the following review helpful

No more naked squirrels

By
Delaney
, March 20, 2011

Finally my children can play outside in the yard without fear of seeing a squirrel’s bits and bobs. Because how many times have you been out in the yard barbecuing with friends only to find yourself completely embarrassed when the squirrels come to the yard without even their underwear on. And of course their excuse is always it’s laundry day, or my last pair got snagged on a tree. Yeah, we’ve all heard these lines before. Well now I have a supply of underwear so that when the squirrels come round we can help them cover up. If only there was a brassier for the lady squirrels who need a little more support.

3,404 of 3,472 people found the following review helpful

Not recommended for gay hamsters

By
George Takei
, August 28, 2013

We thought our friend’s hamster Frederick (he prefers the German Frederick, definitely NOT Fred or, gasp, “Freddy”) would appreciate this gift, as he often complains that “hees business” is always on display, especially as he frolics in his wheel. When we presented the “Accoutrements Squirrel Underpants” to Frederick on his birthday, his disappointment was palpable. “Vell zen,” he quipped crisply, as German hamsters so often do. “Ve are polite and must still appreciate da gesture, no?” Frederick clearly expected something with a bit more “oomph.” Upon our next visit, Frederick had cut the undergarments into a jockstrap of sorts, and he had affixed an Andrew Christian label to it. He had also dyed it a rich pink. He “vas ready fo da gym!” It goes to show: hamsters are ever so resourceful, and gay German ones even more so.

Customer Questions & Answers

So what about the tail? Do the underpants have a special opening for the tail, or do you tuck it in? Just curious how that will work.

Well, some squirrels do tuck but you’ll never get them to come out of the closet with that. The squirrels in my yard made their own openings in the underpants. They are quite talented with much jealousy from the chipmunks. (But you never heard that from me.) If it’s one thing one does not want to do is piss off a chipmunk. They hold grudges for years. (And they have ways of getting into your house.)

Evelyn Smith
answered on August 29, 2013

Is there a more modest undergarment option for the modern Mormon Squirrel?

This question currently does not have a response. Please visit
Amazon.com
to answer this customer’s question.