He doesn’t have to
tell me that. “It’s complicated. I like having her as a friend and I don’t
think it would feel right if it were anything more than that.” Right now, I’m
okay with us just being friends. For the first time in months, my life is
actually going great and it’s because she’s in it.
Josh nods slowly.
He knows me well enough to know why I’m holding back and not taking it any
farther with her. “I can understand where you’re coming from, but you can’t
keep up the friendship for too much longer, the sexual tension that surrounds
you two is going to combust at some point. If I had to bet on it, I’d say
sooner rather than later.”
Again, he isn’t
telling me anything that I don’t already know. Even though Holly has become a
close friend, someone I trust and care a lot about, she is also smoking hot. It
doesn’t help that when her and Jenna stay the night, she’ll take my bed and I
picture what she is wearing, or isn’t wearing, lying against my sheets. So even
though there’s a large part of me that wants to be more than friends, I’m
scared to lose her and the friendship we have.
Where it gets
really complicated is the fact that I still haven’t told her the truth from the
night of the accident. Jenna keeps telling me that it doesn’t matter—that the
past is the past—and I shouldn’t bring it up because it will just end up
hurting her, but I’m not sure. If the time comes, I can’t ever take the next
step with her if she doesn’t know the truth.
Josh and I stand at
their door and knock as my nerves begin to devour me. I’m not sure why, but
picking Holly up and taking her to a party kind of feels like a date, or maybe
I just wish it is. Even though, deep down, I know it’s not.
“Come in,” Jenna
shouts from the inside. When we walk in, Jenna is helping Holly with her
costume and they both turn to us and smile.
“Damn, dude, we’re
two lucky sons of bitches,” Josh says under his breath as he eyes Jenna up and
down. “I’d wear this stupid costume every day if she asked me to.”
I only half hear
him because I can’t concentrate on anything except for Holly and how hot she
looks standing there in her costume. I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be,
but holy shit if it’s not the hottest costume I’ve ever seen. Josh walks over
to Jenna and leaves me standing there, staring like a dumbass. Finally, Holly
turns around and makes her way over to me. As hard as I try, I can’t take my
eyes off of her.
The closer she gets
to me, the more nervous I get. “Hey,” I breathe.
“There weren’t a
lot of costumes left, so I didn’t have a lot of choices. What do you think? Too
much?” She looks down and examines herself.
“No,” I choke out
and then clear my throat. “You look great.” There are a few other words that
come to mind—sexy, beautiful and hot—but they just don’t seem appropriate to
say to a friend.
She gives me a
smirk, like I’m just saying that to be nice, but she has no idea how truthful
I’m being, or what thoughts are running through my head right now, or how
thankful I am that I agreed to go to this stupid party. I can’t imagine letting
her out of this house looking the way she is without someone watching over her.
Tonight she needs a bodyguard with how hot she looks in that outfit.
“Can you guess what
I’m supposed to be?” she asks, raising an eyebrow, clearly challenging me.
Swallowing hard, I
slowly look her up and down. She’s wearing a lavender top that’s cut off above
her belly button, showing off her flat stomach. Her long skirt is a darker
shade of purple and there’s a gold chain of some sort connecting her top and
bottom. The gold eye shadow she has on makes her green eyes stand out even more
than usual and her hair is up in a high pony tail on the top of her head. The
entire outfit shows off every curve her body has, making it hard for me to
concentrate on making an actual guess.
“Um... a genie?” I
say, finally.
She busts out
laughing and the sound of it courses through me. Hearing her so happy causes my
chest to ache.
“No, I’m not a
genie, but I’ll give you a few more guesses.” She laughs. I try to snap myself
out of the daze I’m in and stop staring at her so I don’t come off looking like
a complete pervert.
“I’ll have to think
about it a little, I guess,” I say, knowing it will give me an excuse to stare
at her all night.
“I like your
costume by the way...
very
original,” she says, looking me up and down.
I’m thankful that she didn’t ask me to wear a costume because, as much as it
would’ve sucked, I would’ve done it if she had asked me to.
“Come on, let’s go
have some fun,” Jenna says, approaching us. She gives me a quick look up and
down. “Nice costume, Carter. Way to be a party pooper.”
Josh and Jenna
climb into the back of my car and Holly gets into the passenger seat. Earlier
in the day I offered to be the designated driver for the night, mainly because
I haven’t really been in the mood to drink since the afternoon Holly showed up
and found me drunk. Right now, though, I’m more worried about keeping my eyes
on the road and not on the girl that’s sitting in the passenger seat next to
me.
When we pull up,
there’s music blaring from the house, telling me the party is in full swing.
The house is fully decorated for the event, fake spiders hang from the front
porch and creepy music is playing as we walk up. I can’t help noticing how every
guy’s head turns and looks as Holly passes them. My instincts are to wrap my
arm around her shoulder, to show them that she’s mine, but I can’t... because
she’s not.
The front door is
open, the house is mostly lit up with black lights, and a few strobe lights are
twirling around the dance floor in the middle of the main room. There are fake
spider webs stretched across the ceiling and the same fake spiders that are
hanging from the front porch are clinging to the webs. Wow, someone spent way
too much time on this.
“Let’s go get a
drink, then we can dance,” Jenna says, looping her arm through Holly’s. “Josh
won’t dance until he’s got a few drinks in him.” Then she looks over at me and
my stomach turns. I don’t do dancing. “What about you, Carter? Will you come
dance with us?”
I shake my head.
“No, I’m just gonna hang out here for a while.”
She shrugs, and
then her and Holly head towards the bar in the back. My eyes follow them and,
when they’re about halfway across the room, Holly looks back and gives me a small
smile. My whole body reacts and I know that I’m in trouble. These feelings she
stirs up inside me, they aren’t what friends should feel for friends.
“Seriously, man.
The sexual tension between you two is so thick, I feel like I’m suffocating,”
Josh says, glancing over at me.
Leaning over, I
shove him with my shoulder. “Shut up, dude.”
It’s only a couple
hours into the party and Josh is already shitfaced drunk and dancing. He’s
sandwiched between Jenna and Holly and I can’t help laughing at him... all of
them. The strobe lights are flying across the room and they all of have their
arms up in the air, singing at the top of their lungs.
Earlier in the
night, I walked around and said hi to a few guys I knew from class, but now,
I’m keeping an eye on the dance floor. Even though I kind of feel like a douche
just standing in the corner, watching other people dance, I don’t care. Holly
may not be mine, but there’s no way in hell I’ll let anyone touch her or hit on
her when she’s been drinking.
“Hey, Carter,” a
girl’s voice pulls my eyes away from the dance floor.
“Oh, hey,” I say,
looking to my left. I’ve seen the girl a few times in class, but I don’t know
her by name.
She takes another
step closer to me, coming only inches from my face, and I can easily smell the
liquor on her breath. “Will you dance with me?” She glances up to me through
her eyelashes.
I casually take a
step away from her, hoping not to be too obvious, but her breath reeks from the
liquor. “Uh, I don’t really dance.” I give her a courteous smile.
“Then why would you
come to a party? Do you have a thing for standing in the corner and watching
other people dance?”
Damn, the girl is
obviously drunk, but she still makes a valid point. “I’m here for my friends,”
I say, nodding towards them. My eyes make contact with Holly’s and I find her
looking over at us. “I’m the designated driver tonight,” I continue my
explanation and look back towards the girl whose name I still don’t know.
“You sure you won’t
dance with me?” she asks again, looking at me with a sweet expression. She’s
actually really cute in her little angel costume, but it’s still not enough for
me to go dance with her.
I shake my head.
“No, thanks for the invite, though.”
When she walks off,
I hear the music change from a fast and upbeat song to more of a slow one. My
eyes scan out into the crowd and I find Jenna and Josh slow dancing in the
middle of the dance floor, but I can’t spot Holly.
Just then, I feel
someone grab my arm and see Holly standing next to me. Her eyes are glossy and
the sweat from dancing has caused small wisps of hair to stick to the sides of
her neck. She doesn’t look completely drunk, but she’s definitely buzzed.
“You having fun?” I
shout over the music, breathing in her scent that’s mixed with sweat and the
perfume she’s wearing.
She nods. “Yeah,
lots of fun. Are you?”
I shrug. “Sure, I
guess. This really isn’t my scene, but it’s cool. I’m glad you’re having a good
time.”
She leans in,
pressing her body against me and says, “I came over to check on you and see if
you had any more guesses on my costume.”
I swallow hard as
my eyes trail over her body. When I see that parts of her costume are stuck to
her body with sweat, my body feels like it’s being lit on fire. “How about an
Egyptian princess?”
She purses her
lips, trying not to laugh. “Not even close.”
I know it’s a
stupid guess. Actually, I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be a belly dancer,
but I don’t want to say the right answer and give up my excuse for staring at
her all night.
She looks out
towards the dance floor and then back to me. “Will you come dance with me?”
I can’t take my
eyes off her and I know there’s no way I’m getting out of this one; there’s no
way I’m telling her no. “Sure.”
She grabs my hand
and leads me out onto the makeshift dance floor. The strobe lights have slowed
down and now match the beat to the slow song that’s playing. I wrap my arms
around her waist and she reaches up to lock her hands around my neck. I haven’t
danced like this since probably middle school and I can’t help feeling like an idiot.
As dumb as I feel, the crazy truth is, I’d do this all night long if it means I
get to be close to her like this.
When the song is
nearing the end, she leans her head against my chest and drops her hands to
grip my shoulders. My eyes close and I wrap my arms tighter around her waist,
pulling her closer to me. There’s a good chance she can feel or hear my heart
pounding fast and loud in my chest, but I don’t care. I never thought I’d say
this—ever—but I wish this song would last forever. For right now, my wish is
granted. The slow song we’re dancing to ends and another slow one begins.
❧
“Oh, man, I don’t
feel so well,” Jenna mumbles as we pull back up to their apartment.
“C’mon, babe, you
just need to sleep it off,” Josh says as he staggers out of the car. He turns
around and helps Jenna out of the car since she had issues getting in the car
back at the party. When he has a firm grip on her, they start to head up the
stairs. Holly’s standing at the front of my car and I feel like an
overprotective father trying to keep an eye on all of his kids at once.
When it looks like
Jenna and Josh are doing okay, I turn my focus to Holly. “Hey, you feeling
okay?”
She looks up at me
with glossy eyes. “Yeah, I’m good. I just need my bed.”
“Come on, let’s
go.” I grab her around the waist and she wraps both arms around my stomach,
resting her head on my chest; clearly using me as a crutch to stand up
straight.
I’m not sure how
many drinks she had exactly, but she is definitely going to wake up in the
morning regretting every last one of them. When we make our way up the stairs
and into her apartment, Josh and Jenna are nowhere to be found. I look down the
hall to see that the door to Jenna’s room is closed.
Great
. Holly’s
looking more tired with each passing second and, for a moment, I’m scared she’s
going to pass out standing up.
When I finally have
her in bed, I carefully take off her shoes. Even though I’m sure she probably
wants to take off her sweaty costume, too, I don’t dare take it off for her.
“I’ll be right back.
I’m going to get you a glass of water. You want to get changed out of your
costume?”
She moans and
shakes her head. “No, I’m too tired to move.”
A few minutes
later, I come back and she’s still lying in the exact spot that I left her.
Shaking her gently, I hand her the glass of water, knowing she needs some
hydration. She drinks the entire glass and wipes her mouth using the back of
her hand before collapsing back down on the bed. I cover her up, turn off the
light, and head for the couch.