Finding Home (23 page)

Twenty-Five

“Don’t you listen to word your asshole father said in there,” Brandon said as he helped me climb into the truck. “Do you hear me?” He gently took my face in his hands as I sat in the passenger seat while he remained outside. “Don’t listen to anything he said.  I’m here for you.  Always.”  He kissed me hard and then shut the door forcefully as he made his way to the driver’s side, climbing in and pulling the truck quickly away.

Brandon held my hand the whole way to his house and we didn’t talk.  I was surprised I wasn’t crying.  I could feel the tears in the backs of my eyes and the burning in my throat, but for some reason, the tears didn’t come.  Maybe it was shock, I don’t know, but I just stared ahead while Brandon drove.  When he eventually pulled into the driveway to his house, I turned to him and once he shut the ignition off, he turned to me too. 

“What am I gonna do, Brandon?” I asked quietly.

“You’re coming inside with me now and we’ll figure everything else out later.  C’mon.”

I knew I couldn’t just turn a blind eye to what my parents had done to me tonight, but I didn’t want to think about it too much either because hearing my father’s words again in my mind while visualizing the way my mom just sat there, saying nothing…doing nothing…it was too painful to think about. 

I must’ve been lost in my thoughts longer than I realized because the next thing I knew, my door was opening and Brandon was holding his hand out to me.  I took it and stepped out of the truck, staring at the house. 

“I can go to a hotel or something,” I said as we started walking towards the front door. 

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” he said and we just kept walking.  It was nearly midnight and the house was dark when we walked in. 

“Do you think your mom will be okay with me staying here tonight?” I asked once he’d shut the door. 

“I know she’ll be fine with it,” he said, but then he gave me a look of hesitation. “I think we should tell her though.  We’ve gotta tell my parents.”

I knew he was right.  I didn’t want to tell Mr. and Mrs. Seaver.  I didn’t want them to think less of me, but I knew they needed to know.  They had to know why my parents had thrown me out if I was going to be staying with them.

“Okay,” I agreed quietly.

“Wait here,” he said and I nodded and he walked up the stairs, leaving me alone.  I crossed my arms and tapped my foot while I waited for him to return, my stomach in knots.  It felt like he was gone forever and I heard my phone ringing from my purse.  I grabbed it quickly, naively thinking it was my parents begging me to come home.  My heart sunk a little when I saw it was Shay. 

“Hey,” I said softly.

“Where are you?” she asked.

“I’m at Brandon’s.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I lied and she knew it.

“I’m sorry they treated you like that.”

“Are you surprised?” I asked and the line grew quiet for a few seconds.

“No.” Her voice was low and sad and it was quiet again.

“Are they totally freaking out?” I asked her as I felt tears in the corners of my eyes. 

“They’re in their room.  I haven’t heard from them since some yelling after you left.” I don’t know why, but her words caused the tears to fall down my cheeks.  I wiped them quickly and walked into the bathroom to grab a tissue. “They’re just a little upset right now because they’re in shock or something.  They’ll come around and realize what asses they’re being.”

“No, they won’t,” I said softly and then I looked up when I heard footsteps upstairs and then I saw Brandon and his mom appear. “I gotta go, Shay.  Love you.”  I hung up the phone before she could say anything else. 

Mrs. Seaver was looking down at me and I wasn’t sure how to read her face.  Her mouth was turned down a little, but I wasn’t sure if that was because she was disappointed in me or just felt sorry for me. 

It didn’t take her long to trot quickly down the stairs, Brandon following behind her.  She stopped in front of me, resting her hand on my arm, cocking her head a little to the side and the frown growing bigger on her face, but her eyes were kind and I knew she wasn’t judging me.  She was hurting for me.

“Mandy, honey…Brandon told me,” she said gently and I couldn’t stop my eyes from dropping to the ground, too ashamed to look this woman who’d always been so sweet and loving to me in the eyes.

“I’m sorry for coming here so late,” I said softly, my voice cracking. “I’ve…I’ve just got nowhere else to go.”

I felt her fingers under my chin, lifting it until I had no choice but to look at her.  Her frown was gone and there was an encouraging smile there instead. 

“I won’t stand here and listen to you apologize.  I don’t mean to speak ill of your parents, Mandy, but what they’ve done to you…it’s not right.  Not right at all.” I thought I saw tears in her eyes and I couldn’t hold them back anymore.  I fell into Melissa’s arms and she held me while I cried.  Shay had held me.  Brandon had held me.  Jesse and Riley had held me too, but none of their hugs were like Melissa’s.  She was hugging me like a mother, the way my mom should’ve held me instead of turning away while my dad kicked me out, making me feel worthless.  “It’s okay, Mandy.  It’ll be alright,” she whispered gently into my ear as I cried and it sounded different coming from her for some reason, maybe because I looked up to her because she was an adult.  I knew technically I was too, but with the way I felt, I didn’t think I constituted being an adult on any level.  “Come here, honey,” she said, pulling away from me and leading me to the couch.  I sat in the middle and Melissa and Brandon sat on either side of me. 

“Thank you,” I sniffled and Brandon handed me a tissue.  I wiped my eyes and then he took my hand. “I didn’t mean for this to happen…but, it did and…” I started babbling and I felt her hand on my knee.

“You can’t dwell on what’s happened, Mandy.  What’s done is done and we have to look towards the future, even though it might seem difficult right now, but everything will work itself out and our family will be here to help you.”

“You don’t have to,” I said, but she interrupted me.

“I know that, but we want to.”

I looked into her blue eyes, so like Brandon’s, then I glanced to Brandon who was still holding my hand and smiling what seemed like a nervous smile that reiterated everything his mom said, even though I already knew he felt that way. 

“Thank you,” I said, hugging her again and then I wrapped my arms around Brandon, who held me tightly, stroking my hair.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and I pulled back from Brandon, looking up to see Mr. Seaver making his way to us.  He sat down on the loveseat and looked right at me.

“You’re welcome here as long as you need, Mandy.”

“Thank you, Mr. Seaver.”

“Call me Jay, please,” he said with a kind smile. 

“Thank you,” I said shyly.  Mr. Seaver had always been nice to me, but the way he looked at me now, I found him especially endearing. 

“It’s late,” Melissa said. “We should all get some sleep and we’ll talk more about this tomorrow.”

I knew she was right.  I was exhausted.  Emotionally and physically, but I wondered if I’d even be able to sleep.  I had to try though because there were only two places I found peace: Brandon’s arms and sleep. 

Melissa stood up, holding her hand out to me.  I looked down at the couch where Brandon was still sitting.

“I’ll be right up,” he said and I just nodded, but didn’t question him. 

I followed Melissa upstairs to her room.  I felt strange going in with her, but she gestured me inside and I went.

“I thought you could use something to sleep in,” she said, going over to her dresser and taking out a pair of pajamas.  They were pink and frilly and looked like something an old lady would wear, like my apron. “I know they’re hideous, but I assure you, you’ll never sleep in anything more comfortable.” 

“Thank you,” I said, taking them from her.

“You’re welcome,” she said and then we walked out of the room and she led me to the bathroom.  She went to the linen closet and pulled out an extra toothbrush. “I always keep extra toothbrushes on hand, just in case,” she told me and I wondered if she saw the smile on my face because I already knew about the toothbrush stash from the night I slept over with Brandon. “You can sleep in the guest room.”

“Seriously…” I began. “Thank you for everything…for being so nice to me.”

“We love you, Mandy.  Always have.” She hugged me again and then turned, leaving me to change and get ready for bed. 

I put on the frilly PJs and Melissa was right.  As ugly as they were, I don’t think I’d ever worn anything so comfortable.  I opened the medicine cabinet in search of the toothpaste and I couldn’t help but notice the prescription bottle on the shelf above it.  I knew I shouldn’t, but I pulled it out, staring down at the name: BRANDON SEAVER and then I focused on the black block letters: ZOLOFT.  Brandon hadn’t told me he was on medication.  I put the bottle back and tried not to dwell on it.  There must be a reason he didn’t tell me. 

I brushed my teeth quickly and then walked across the hall to the guest room.  I thought it used to belong to Nicole, but I wasn’t sure.  Brandon’s room was right next door though and I couldn’t help but think how much better it’d be if I could sleep in his bed. 

Before I walked in, I went back to the top of the stairs to see if Brandon might be coming up.  I could hear his muffled voice still talking to his dad.  I was curious what they were talking about, but I felt guilty about eavesdropping and headed into my room.

It was nice, just like everything in the Seaver house.  A simple patchwork quilt covered the bed and the pale yellow walls were warm and inviting.  I went over to the bed, pulling the quilt back and wondering what I should do.  Did I just crawl into bed and lay there in the dark?  I wasn’t tired, even though I wanted to sleep.  Should I wait for Brandon to come say goodnight?  He wouldn’t just leave me without saying goodnight. 

I decided to get under the covers and wait.  The sheets were warm and soft and they smelled good too.  I was almost certain Melissa had dried them outside because she was perfect like that.  Brandon’s whole family was perfect and I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous.  Why did Brandon’s parents have hearts bigger than life and my parents’ hearts appeared to be made of stone?

I wasn’t sure how long I was lying in the bed since there was no clock in the room, but when I heard a quiet knock on the door, I felt my heart pick up a little, hoping it was Brandon.

“Come in,” I said and I smiled when I saw Brandon’s face peek around the door.

“Hey,” he said gently, making his way over to me as I sat up.  “How’re you doin’?” he asked, sitting down beside me.  I scooted over and he made his way even closer, spreading his legs out beside mine as he put his arm around me while he leaned back on the pillows I’d propped up.  I snuggled into him and his fingertips glided over the bare skin on my arm.

“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I think I’m in shock.” My voice was quiet as my mind drifted back to my house and the look on the faces of my parents when I’d told them. 

“I’m so sorry, Mandy,” he said and it was quiet for a few moments.

“I didn’t know how it was going to go,” I eventually began. “I guess I had some delusion that maybe my parents would look at me with pity or something.  Maybe even hug me and tell me they loved me.”  I felt his fingers stop tickling, but he seemed to hold me tighter. “Deep down, I knew that wouldn’t happen.  Deep down I expected this, but I thought…I mean, I hoped it’d go better than this.”

“Me too, babe,” he said softly. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to punch your dad in the face.  I seriously wanted to kick his ass and then shake some since into your mom.  I can’t believe they could treat you the way they did.”

“I can,” I said and I blinked, a tear falling down my cheek that I quickly wiped away.

“I hate seeing you cry,” he said and he uncurled his arm from me, sitting up and turning himself so we were facing.  Even though I’d wiped the tear away, my cheek was still wet and he dried it with the pad of his thumb.  “I don’t want you to cry anymore.”

He didn’t want me to cry anymore, but the way he was looking at me caused the tears to rush to the surface and they came spilling over when his lips met mine, so soft and sweet.  He loved me so much.  He still wanted me even though I was pregnant with someone else’s baby.  He was everything I needed and he was right here.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he whispered, our lips hovering over each other so his warm breath danced on my lips, making me ache for him even more.

“I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here,” I said, pushing my lips against his.

“I am here though and I’m not going anywhere,” he said when we pulled away and when I looked into his eyes, I knew he’d always be there, as long as I needed him, he would be there for me and that fact was the only thing keeping me from curling up and praying for blackness to swallow me up. 

“I wish you could stay with me tonight.”

“Me too.”

“But you can’t.  Your parents are cool.  They knew about us at the cabin, but this is different.  This is their house and they’re here and we can’t do that.”