Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) (3 page)

Jonathan smiled back at her and agreed to meet them in the hotel bar as well.

Kina looked around at the men surrounding her at the table. They all had frosty mugs of beer in front of them and were recounting the day’s challenge and laughing. She was relaxed for the first time in a long time. She found she really enjoyed having a smaller group of camera operators on the set. It made for a more family-type atmosphere, something she hadn’t even known she’d like.

She didn’t even care that she had a headache. It wasn’t awful and it was better to be here hanging out with Jonathan than sitting alone in her room again. Yes, she could finally admit it to herself. She wanted to get to know him. He fascinated her. He seemed like a good guy and she was attracted to him. He wasn’t really her type, but he was funny and courteous and had a bit of mystery about him. The attention he paid her was also very flattering and Kina found him very hard to resist.

She was so relaxed and mellow with the good company and good beer that she missed seeing the burly local man saunter up to their table. The first inkling she got he was there was when she actually felt Jonathan tense at her side.

“Hey, sweet cheeks, can I buy you a beer?”

Kina looked down at the still half-full beer mug sitting in front of her. This guy had a lot of nerve, coming up to their table when she was sitting with four other men.

“Uh, no. I’m good,” she told the man easily.

He obviously wasn’t adept at taking no for an answer, as she’d found most men weren’t, and asked again, in a voice that wasn’t really a question.

“I’ll buy you a beer.”

Before Kina could say anything in return Jonathan had stood up and was chest to chest with the man. Words were said between them, too low for Kina to hear. The man turned around and left without a word and Jonathan sat back down. Kina immediately was pissed. What the hell?

“What the hell was that?” she asked nastily.

“I just let him know that you weren’t interested.” Jonathan answered calmly, taking a sip of his beer.

Kina saw red. Matt used to do the same thing all the time. Make every decision for her and not take into account what she wanted. She wasn’t going there again, no way.

“How do you know I wasn’t interested? Maybe I would’ve liked to have had a drink with him. You don’t know anything about me and you don’t own me. Understand?”

Jonathan looked at his woman evenly. He didn’t understand where her attitude was coming from. He’d only been protecting her from harassment. He didn’t want to think of anyone else’s hands on her, but if she really wanted to have a drink with that bozo he wouldn’t stand in her way. But he also didn’t want her doing it just to make a point.

“I’m sorry, Kina. I honestly thought you’d be more comfortable hanging here with us. I didn’t think you’d want to have a drink with him. If you’re really interested in him I’ll go and apologize.” Like hell he would, but he didn’t think telling her that would get him very far in his quest to win her heart.

Kina struggled to control her temper. Jonathan wasn’t Matt. He wasn’t trying to control her. She took a deep breath. “No, it’s okay. Just don’t do it again. I like to make my own decisions.”

Jonathan nodded and noticed they had an audience. The other camera operators were looking on with extreme interest. He would’ve liked to have talked to her more about it, but knew he wouldn’t get any further in front of the others. He desperately wanted some time alone with her, but didn’t know how to go about it. Maybe he’d push his luck tonight and simply ask if he could talk to her alone. He didn’t know if she’d go for it, but it was worth a shot
.
Sh
e
was worth it.

Jonathan hoped she was ready to go. He didn’t want any other trouble tonight and Kina was just too beautiful to sit in the bar any longer without attracting more attention. It looked like it was true that there were more men than women in Alaska, at least in this bar it was.

“You about ready to go?” Jonathan asked Kina, gesturing to her beer with his chin, hoping like hell she’d say yes.

He sighed in relief when Kina nodded, even though she’d rolled her eyes while doing it. They scooted out of the booth, saying their goodbyes to Taylor, Carl, and Jeff. As they walked toward their rooms, Jonathan asked, “Can I talk to you for a second?” When she hesitated and sighed, he said quickly, “I won’t take much time, I swear. We can go to your room or mine, I just want to talk to you without the others hearing for a second.”

              Kina considered his words. She didn’t want the others overhearing whatever it was that Jonathan wanted to tell her, either. It wasn’t because she thought he’d tell her something bad, it was simply because on the most basic level, she wanted to be near him. As much as she didn’t like his overprotective attitude, she like
d
hi
m
.

Kina nodded and decided she’d go to his room. It was a gamble, but that way she could leave whenever she wanted. It would be harder to kick Jonathan out of her room if he didn’t want to go.

Jonathan opened his door and gestured her in. Kina was surprised to find his room was spotless. She’d halfway expected him to be a slob, but she admitted to herself that was because Matt hadn’t bothered to clean up after himself, so she just expected all men to be that way.

Kina watched as Jonathan puttered around the room for a moment before finally settling on the chair in the corner. He looked nervous. It put her even more at ease. Had any man ever been nervous in her presence before? Nervous in a good way, not nervous because he thought she’d rip into him. She didn’t think so. Most of the time they were arrogant assholes who thought she’d do whatever they wanted her to.

Jonathan took a deep breath then said baldly, repeating what he’d already said once. “I like you, Kina.” He’d decided to go for it. Kina was a no-nonsense type of woman and he figured she’d appreciate his candor more than his beating around the bush. It could backfire on him, but he couldn’t stand being around her and watching her flirt with other men and generally not know he had feelings about her. When she didn’t say anything but only looked at him incredulously, he continued, “I know, I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s true. I admire you and want to get to know you better.”

Kina was floored. That wa
s
s
o
not what she’d expected him to say when she agreed to come into his room.  Before she thought about it she blurted out, “Are you drunk?”

He laughed. “No hon, I’m not drunk. I just wanted to get it on the table so you’d know where I’m coming from. I don’t expect you to reciprocate in kind yet, but I feel like you have the right to know.”

“Since when?” Kina said, still waiting for him to laugh and say, “Gotcha” as if it was all a big joke.

“Since Arizona,” Jonathan answered honestly. He always wanted to tell her the truth. He didn’t believe any kind of relationship could flourish if there wasn’t honesty between two people.

“Wh-what?” Kina was completely floored. She knew she wasn’t the type of woman to inspire thoughts of lust and the immediate “like” that Jonathan was claiming he felt for her. “I-I don’t know what to say,” she managed to stammer out.

“Please, don’t say anything. I hope to Christ you’ll give me a chance to show you I’m a good guy. Just get to know me over the next weeks and I’ll prove it to you.”

Kina shook her head. This was crazy, but deep down inside something unfurled in her gut. Could he be for real? She’d have to guard her heart just in case, but God, it was such a heady feeling. She didn’t really think he’d want to be with her, not after hearing all about her messed up history with men.

“You’re in charge here, Kina,” he told her unexpectedly. “If you want to talk to me, let me know. If you want to hold my hand, take hold. If you want to kiss me, I’m all for it. But,you’re in charge. I won’t push my luck, but
I
wil
l
try to convince you to give me a chance. Be forewarned, hon.”

              Kina hadn’t ever been in charge of a relationship. In all of her disastrous relationships, she’d been pursued and then subsequently dumped. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she needed to take control of what she wanted for once. She liked that idea. The more she thought about it, the more she liked it.

“Okay, Jonathan. I’m in charge, huh?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered, smiling, looking like he didn’t know what to expect.

“Then goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.” She spun and headed toward the door.

Jonathan’s laugh followed her out the door.

The next morning, Kina didn’t know what to think about Jonathan and their conversation from the night before. She’d almost convinced herself he didn’t really mean it. But when they all met to get in the car and go to the set, he walked right up to her, took hold of her hand and brought it to his lips. He gently kissed the back of her hand, all the while not breaking eye contact.

“Good morning, Kina,” he murmured, and slowly let go.

Holy crap. He was intense, and hot, and she loved it. She wasn’t sure why she loved it whe
n
h
e
acted that way, but had hated when
Matt
did the same thing. She tried to remind herself that she was in charge. Kina wanted nothing more than to throw Jonathan down to the ground and hump him like there was no tomorrow, but unfortunately that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. She so wasn’t ready for that.

She pulled her hand back. “Thought I was in charge?”

“Just saying good morning.”

That grin was lethal. Kina climbed into the SUV trying to turn her thoughts to the upcoming job. She was only partially successful.

Filming for the next two days wasn’t going to be very exciting. The next challenge wasn’t scheduled for a while because apparently Eddie still had to set it up. So, while he hadn’t wanted to bother with a lot of filming on set, they really had nothing else to do while they were there. Besides, there would need to b
e
som
e
filming done in the house, the entire show couldn’t just be about the challenges.

Kina was hyper aware of Jonathan all day. He didn’t break his promise to her; he was letting her call the shots in whatever relationship they may or may not have. It was driving her crazy. She didn’t know how to be in charge of a relationship and she still wasn’t convinced she even wanted one with Jonathan. She couldn’t deny he was hot as hell and that she was attracted to him, but… There was always a but. She wasn’t good at relationships. From her high school boyfriend to Matt, that had been made clear over and over.

In order to have a good relationship, there had to be trust, and Kina no longer felt she could trust anyone. Time and time again, any trust she’d given to someone had been broken.

Jonathan was having a good day. He felt relieved he’d told Kina how he felt. It would be the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, to not immediately try to plow right over any objections she might have about their relationship, but he’d promised to let her take control. And he would, even if it killed him.

* * *

The next couple of days continued much as the previous ones had. The group got up in the mornings and went to the production house where they got some random shots of the men sitting around talking, playing pool, cooking lunch, or whatever they happened to be doing. Shannel was scarce, as her job was to play host, not babysit the contestants.

Eddie had been around, mostly to direct some shots that he wanted, but he was also busy setting up the challenges that would happen in the upcoming weeks.

After filming for the day, the group would go back to the hotel and have a drink and dinner. There were no more incidents with any local men trying to hit on Kina and even Jeff was behaving himself for the moment.

Jonathan took every opportunity he could to brush up against Kina or to just sit next to her and listen to her talk. He thought she was loosening up around him, but he couldn’t be sure. All he could do was wait for her to give him a sign, or flat out tell him she wanted to be with him.

Kina was ready to give whatever it was between her and Jonathan a try. They’d been tiptoeing around each other for a while now, and she honestly wanted to get to know him better. That night, before they met up at the hotel restaurant for dinner, Kina decided to just go for it. She’d never know what kind of man Jonathan was if she didn’t do as he said, take control. If it turned out he was a jerk, she’d deal. But there was a little voice in her head asking,
‘what if he’s not?’
She didn’
t
kno
w
his brother Dean, but after being around their parents while the last show had been filmed at their animal refuge and seeing how Dean was with Becky, she figured Jonathan might, jus
t
migh
t
, be worth the effort.

“Hey Jonathan, wait up.”

Jonathan stopped before entering the restaurant. If Kina asked him to lie down in the middle of the road, he probably would’ve.

Kina stood next to Jonathan and was suddenly tongue-tied. What if he said no? Oh, the hell with it. “Doyouwanttogosomewhereelsefordinner?” she said as fast as she could.             

Inside Jonathan was doing cartwheels, but he stayed calm. “Sure. I’d love to. Got any idea what you want to eat?”

Kina shook her head. It was enough that she’d asked him if he wanted to eat with her. She hadn’t thought so far in advance as to what or where she wanted to eat.              

“Can I make a suggestion?” At her nod he continued, “There’s a place I’ve read about calle
d
The Bubbly Mermai
d
downtown. I’ve heard they have excellent fresh seafood.”

“Sounds good,” Kina murmured, glad she didn’t have to come up with a place to eat. She probably would’ve chosen a fast food restaurant or something equally lame.

“Let me go and see if Taylor has the keys on him. I’ll be right back.” Jonathan quickly squeezed her elbow before heading into the restaurant to find the other camera operator.

While waiting for Jonathan to come back out, Kina leaned against the wall in the hallway. Jonathan had acted perfectly with her. He didn’t make a big deal out of her asking him to dinner. He could’ve been an ass about the whole thing, but he hadn’t. She saw Jeff walking toward her. She smiled at him and said hello. His response stunned her.

“So, you finally made your move, huh? When you’re done with him, I’d love a go.”

Kina was stunned into silence for a moment, then what he said finally penetrated.

“What the hell, Jeff? You’re an ass. It’ll be a cold day in Hell before you get a ‘go’.”

She was going to say more when Jeff was suddenly flying backward. Jonathan had come back and grabbed Jeff by the collar of his shirt and flung him around. Jeff hit the wall on the other side of the hallway, but was able to regain his balance so he didn’t fall.

“You heard her. Kiss off, Jeff. She’s not going anywhere with you. She’s mine. And if you so much as look cross-eyed at her again, you’ll have me to deal with.”

Kina was shocked to realize Jonathan was really pissed. He’d always been so mild-mannered and polite. She hadn’t even realized he had it in him. She should be upset, seeing how Matt always got so jealous when she even so much as looked at another guy, but this was somehow different. He was standing up for her, not acting irrationally. He hadn’t beaten the hell out of Jeff, which said a lot about his control. Besides she would’ve done the same thing if she’d been strong enough.

“Whatever, dude, she’s not worth it.” Jeff tried to recover.

“That’s where you’re wrong and why you’ll never have anything as precious as her in your life. Keep movin’.” Jonathan shot back as he took Kina’s elbow in his large hand and steered her toward the door, making sure to keep his own body between hers and Jeff’s. He walked them out and didn’t say another word until he was opening the passenger door of the SUV for Kina.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Kina said, amazed that it was actually true. She was good. While she’d never be completely comfortable with someone sticking up for her when she could do it herself, it felt good to have Jonathan there next to her.

“He’s a dick,” Jonathan responded more to himself than to Kina.

Kina laughed. It felt good to release some of her tension. “Yup, he is.”

Jonathan laughed as well and after she’d sat down in the front passenger seat, he pulled the belt of her seatbelt out and held it for her. Kina looked up at him as he stood there waiting for her to buckle herself in. No one had ever done that before. Oh, she’d had dates open her door, but never had someone pulled her belt out for her and handed it to her. It was sexy as hell. She took the belt from his hand and his fingers brushed against hers in the process. She shivered. God, he felt good.

Jonathan walked around the front of the SUV, trying to get himself back under control. His adrenaline was sky high. First, because of Jeff. He wanted to pummel him into the ground for disrespecting Kina. Now, because of the slight touch of her fingers against his. He was in big trouble if that was all it took for him to get excited around her. He’d never survive a kiss or anything more.

The drive t
o
The Bubbly Mermai
d
was done in silence, but not an uncomfortable one. Kina relaxed into the seat. That was another thing different about Jonathan. He never felt the need to fill the air with unnecessary conversation. Again, he was very purposeful. He spoke when he had something to say and acted when it was necessary. Otherwise, he was content to just watch or listen.

When they pulled up to the restaurant and parked, Jonathan turned to Kina.

“Do I need to apologize for what happened back there?”

Kina knew he was referring to his actions with Jeff. “No.” At the relieved look on his face Kina continued quickly. “As long as you don’t make it a habit of knocking around men that talk to me. I hear a lot of crap, being a woman in this job. I can deal with it.”

Jonathan took a deep breath and thought about how he could say what he needed to say and not piss her off. He held his hand out, hoping she’d put her own in his. When she slowly placed her hand in his, Jonathan was thrilled. He lightly wrapped his hand around hers and rubbed it with his thumb. “Kina, I’ll do my best, but as long as I’m around, no one is allowed to be disrespectful to you. I can’t just stand there and let them get away with it. I’ll try to curb my reactions, but you don’t have to deal with that crap by yourself anymore. I have your back.”

Kina just looked at him. Was he for real? She couldn’t remember a time in her life when someone “had her back.” It’d always been just her. She couldn’t process this right now. She’d have to think about it later, so she just nodded.

Jonathan smiled, squeezed her hand, and told her to stay put. He hopped out his side of the vehicle, walked around to open her door, and help her out. As they walked toward the front door of the quirky restaurant, Kina decided to go for it and reached for his hand and twined her fingers with his. His large calloused hand wrapped around her smaller one felt nice. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her. That smile was worth any angst she’d had about taking his hand.

They were shown to a booth in the back of the restaurant and Jonathan gestured her into one side of the booth and when she was scooting in asked if he could sit on her side. Shocked, she could only agree. Again, that was something no date had ever asked before. They’d always sat across from her. Always. Even Matt did that when he’d take her out. Of course, after they’d been dating for a while, he’d taken her out less and less.

The restaurant had a large selection of oysters, but Kina didn’t care much for them. She was more of a shrimp and crab girl. She ordered the King Crab cocktail and Jonathan ordered seafood chowder and a plate of Alaska oysters fresh from Halibut Cove and Kachemak Bay.

Now that they’d ordered and were settled, Jonathan turned to Kina.

“So, tell me about yourself.”

Kina laughed. “That sounds like a cheesy pick-up line,” she told him unabashedly.

He chuckled back at her. “I suppose it did, but I want to know about you, Kina. I want to know everything about you.”

Kina sobered. “That’s a pretty tall order,” she said seriously, having no idea where to start.

“What if we play a game? You can ask me anything and I promise to answer honestly, and then I get to ask you a question. We’ll continue until you want to stop. Remember, you’re in charge here.”

Kina laughed, “Yeah right. I don’t think I’ve been in charge from day one.”

They both smiled.

“Okay, you’re on. I get to go first, though,” Kina told him, picking up her glass and taking a drink of water, while watching him nod.

“Let’s see….is this like truth-or-dare where if you don’t like what I ask you have to do something crazy to get out of answering?”

Jonathan didn’t even smile. “No, hon. If I feel like I can’t answer you honestly, I’ll let you know. If I’m uncomfortable with the question, I’ll answer what I can, but I’ll tell you that I don’t want to answer it right now. I promise, however…” He paused and took a sip of his own water as if he was nervous, before continuing, “…I’ll answer your question at some point while we’re here in Alaska. I want you to trust me and it might be too early for you to hear all my secrets at this point.”

God. Kina loved that answer.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” she blurted out without thinking.

“I know.” Jonathan answered immediately, not looking surprised or upset in the least. “I can tell it’s hard for you to trust people and that’s okay. I’m perfectly happy with you taking your time. I want to know everything about you and all about who made it so hard for you to put your trust in someone. But I’d rather have your honest and complete trust whenever you decide you can give it to me, than force you to lie to me now and say something when it’s not true.”