Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) (5 page)

At his shake of his head she said boldly, “I’m here if you want to talk to me about it.”

Jonathan grasped their hands tighter and bowed his head. “I’m afraid if I tell you what happened, you’ll not want to see me anymore.”

Holy crap. Kina hadn’t ever seen that kind of deep honest emotion from a man. Kina pulled their clasped hands up to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. “I might not know you that well, Jonathan, but I do know you’re one of the good guys. You didn’t hurt Becky. You didn’t cause her to be hurt. Some idiots did that all on their own. Hell, you won’t even let some guy say jerky things to me and you don’t even really know me. There’s no way you’d stand aside and let someone your brother loved get hurt. I’d love for you to talk to me. I’d love for you to tell me everything. If you think I’ll turn my back on you, I’ll prove you wrong. I don’t think this is the time or the place, but maybe once we get to know each other better, you’ll trust me.”

Jonathan’s eyed glowed as he looked at her. “Believe it or not, I do trust you, Kina. I trust you more than I trust myself. I’ll tell you, but you’re right, not now. Will you take a rain check?”

Kina simply nodded, too choked up with emotion to talk. She’d never had a guy open himself up to her like Jonathan just had. Every boyfriend she’d ever had was a macho jerk who never really allowed her in, emotionally. She hadn’t really known Jonathan that long and he’d already opened himself up more to her than anyone ever had before. She really hoped he was serious.

They continued making their way through the Heritage Center. It was an amazing place and Kina hoped one day to be able to come back and see some of the demonstrations. It was a small glimpse into a fascinating culture.

As they walked out of the building toward the car, Kina asked Jonathan, “Would you rather be stuck for five hours in an elevator or on a ski lift?” Thus began their hilarious trip back to the hotel.

Jonathan thought this was one of the most boring shoots he’d ever been on, but that actually worked in his favor with Kina, because it made her more willing to talk to him as well as giving them more time to talk to each other. Since there was no competition on the show, other than the actual contests, the men had been quite well-behaved. As much as Jonathan hated the drama of men fighting for women or men competing for a woman’s attention that always happened on dating shows, at least it was interesting for the camera operators. There was always someone and something interesting to film.

This was torture. All that happened between contests was everyone sitting around. Jonathan had heard rumors that Eddie was trying to speed up production and he was all for it. The sooner they got done here, the sooner he could go home and start his new career.

The only problem with that,was Kina. He wanted more time with her. He wanted more time for her to get to know him. She was hi
s
On
e
. If Jonathan didn’t break through her emotional barriers before they left Alaska, he didn’t know if he’d ever get a chance to. He wanted her. He wanted her more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life. All the other women he’d known paled in comparison to Kina. It wasn’t just her looks, although she was beautiful to him, it was her. Her larger-than-life personality, her zest for life, and just her all-around demeanor.

He loved that she’d taken right to the silly game of ‘Would you rather.’ Some of the best times they’d had, had been a result of the answers and conversations they’d had over the questions they’d come up with. He didn’t want to lose her. He knew he had to talk to her about what had happened in Arizona, but he was honest when he told her he was scared of losing her. Even though Becky had told him time and time again that she didn’t blame him, he blamed himself. He wasn’t sure he could get over it. He was trying, but it was difficult.

There were only six men left on the show. The last contest had been a few days prior. The men had been challenged to see how many fish they could catch in a net. The catch was that they were in a stream that was freezing. It wasn’t like they could just stand on the bank and fish, either. No, they had to get right out in the middle of the fast-moving water and catch as many fish as possible. As far as ‘extreme’ went, it wasn’t very, but Jonathan knew Eddie was saving the harder challenges for the upcoming competitions. Slade and Grant were the last two men to be sent packing. They’d caught the least number of fish and were currently thanking their lucky stars that they were sitting in nice warm hotel rooms, waiting out the rest of the show.

This next contest was the first one where the contestants would be “roughing” it outside overnight, and thus, the first time the camera operators would also be roughing it. Jonathan was worried about who would be paired up. He desperately wanted Eddie to put him and Kina together, but he also didn’t want Kina to think he’d put Eddie up to it. He wouldn’t protest if they weren’t together, only if Kina was paired with Jeff. He didn’t trust Jeff as far as he could throw him. He’d been behaving after their altercation in the hallway, but he’d learned from those jerks on the Arizona show never to underestimate someone’s need for revenge. No matter how pissed Kina got with him, he wouldn’t allow her to spend the night out in the wilderness with Jeff.

Eddie wanted to have a meeting with all the camera crew before they were sent off. He wanted to explain the rules of the contest to everyone. He figured the camera operators could act as the ‘officials’ so no one would cheat.

“Here’s how it’s going to work. We’ll be in the Chugach National Forest. There’s a lake there called Eagle Lake. The men will be paired off around the lake. They shouldn’t cross paths, but everyone will be in one general location. There are only five of you, so we’ll split up into pairs and then there will be only one of you with one of the groups of contestants.” He shrugged. “That’s just the way it has to be.”

When no one disagreed with him or otherwise protested, Eddie continued.

“The men will be given basic provisions, flint, an emergency blanket, an axe, one MRE for the two of them, and one extra pair of socks. We’ll set them up with some cold weather gear before they head out, jackets, long underwear, etc. They’ll be expected to set up camp and be out for three days and two nights. In a few hours, we’ll drop everyone off and pick them up around noon on the third day. Their task will be to build a raft they’ll have to actually use. When we come to pick them up they’ll have to demonstrate their raft floats by paddling out three hundred yards into the lake, then turn around and come back to their campsite. Whoever builds the least water-worthy raft, or if they can’t paddle the six hundred yards, will be going home. If more than one group can’t make it the entire way, whichever group goes the shortest distance will be leaving.

“Your jobs, as constant observers, will be to make sure there’s no cheating going on. You’ll all be equipped with a radio just in case. You’ll each have your own tent and provisions. No fires, though. Only the contestants are allowed to start a fire. If you light a fire the men might be tempted to use it instead of building their own. This is about them, not about you. And another thing…I don’t want anyone getting hurt, is that clear? If these pussies can’t handle the weather and get frostbite or if they cut off a limb, contact me immediately. If they just want to quit, too bad. They can’t. That makes for great TV. People love to watch men, who think they’re tough, be miserable and whiny. We haven’t had enough of that on the show yet. Everyone understand?”

Jonathan shook his head. Man, Eddie was a jerk. He wondered how the man had made it this far in his career, but he supposed you had to be heartless to be a producer of reality shows.

Eddie continued. “Okay, so I’ve decided who will be with who.”

Jonathan held his breath. He really hoped he didn’t have to get all macho alpha in front of Kina.

“Jeff, you and Carl will be with Trent and Ian.”

Jonathan let out his breath. Thank God. He could live with wherever Eddie put him now.

“Jonathan and Kina will be with Roger and Darius, and Taylor, you’ll be by yourself with Benedict and Nash. Anyone have any problems with that? Taylor, you all right with being on your own?”

Taylor nodded, as everyone expected he would.

“Okay, you’ll all be given a small tent and a sleeping bag to stay in while out there. There is, of course, no sharing those with the contestants. They have to figure out how to stay warm on their own. If you run into any situations out there, as I said, just use the radio to call back. For the next hour we’ll be getting the men outfitted in their gear and you all can meet back here for Shannel to explain the contest to the men and we’ll get headed out.

Jonathan was thrilled he’d be spending the next two nights with Kina. He couldn’t have planned it better himself. He sensed someone coming up to stand next to him and turned to see Kina standing there, looking furious.

“What the hell?” She hissed at him. “Did you set this all up? Did you go to Eddie and tell him you were trying to get me in bed and to put us together?”

“Hang on, Kina. I didn’t say anything to Eddie about us. What’s happening between us is just that, between us. I’
d
neve
r
disrespect you that way.”

Jonathan watched as Kina’s breath heaved in and out of her chest. God, she was magnificent. He wished she hadn’t immediately thought the worst of him, but he couldn’t deny she was glorious when she was worked up. He tried again to soothe her when she didn’t say anything. He stepped closer to her and was thrilled when she didn’t take a step back. Whether she’d admit it or not, she was beginning to trust him on some level.

“I’d never do anything to jeopardize your career. I know how important it is for you to be seen as ‘one of the guys.’ Unless your safety was at stake, I’d never go behind your back. But just so you know, full disclosure and all that, if Eddie had tried to pair you with Jeff, I would’ve said something. There’s no way I’d have you suffer two days with him.”

He waited for the explosion. He was amazed when his words seemed to have the opposite effect on her.

Kina tried to bring herself under control. She knew Jonathan wouldn’t go behind her back and ask to be paired with her just to get her in bed. She’d just automatically been a bitch to him, it was what she usually did. She didn’t know how she knew he wouldn’t try to set her up that way, but she knew it. He’d had plenty of times to make a move and he still hadn’t eve
n
kisse
d
her. Kina tried not to be upset about that. She knew Jonathan expected her to be upset with him for saying what he had about Jeff, but the truth was that she would’ve gone to Eddie herself and asked to be reassigned if he’d put Jeff with her. So she couldn’t get mad that Jonathan would’ve done the same thing.

She brought her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “Crap. I’m sorry. That was bitchy of me to think, let alone say. I know you wouldn’t have done that. I wasn’t thinking.”

Jonathan put his hand under her chin and watched as she opened her eyes and looked into his. “It’s okay, hon. I don’t know half the things you’ve probably gone through in your career to get where you are. I know most men in this industry are sexist. Just know I’ve got your back. And thanks for not being mad about the Jeff thing.”

“I would’ve done the same thing,” Kina told him honestly, echoing what she’d thought a moment ago. “I don’t want to be alone with Jeff, forget being side-by-side with him, for three days in the wilderness.”

Jonathan dropped his hand and they both laughed; glad the tension had been eased between them.

“I do have a question, though,” Jonathan asked, unable to hold it back. “Would you rather be stranded in Alaska in the cold or Africa in the heat?”

Kina laughed.

* * *

Kina and Jonathan watched as Roger and Darius tried to figure out what to do first to set up their camp. Kina was watching Roger through her lens and Jonathan had Darius. She supposed the men weren’t doing too badly, but it was obvious it was going to be a long two and a half days for them. Darius’ profession as a chemist and Roger’s vocation as a teacher weren’t going to help them much in the Alaskan wilderness.

They knew enough to try to set up their sleeping quarters first. Kina didn’t know much about wilderness camping either, as she wasn’t really a camping kind of girl, but she didn’t think the flimsy shelter they’d constructed would do them much good when it got dark and cold. But her role was to observe, so observe was what she was doing.

Kina and Jonathan continued to watch and film off and on while the guys tried to start putting together their raft. Their idea was to gather as many big logs as they could and attach them all together with the rope that Eddie had allowed each pair to have in their packs. On the surface it seemed like a good idea, but Kina wondered if the two men knew anything about what knots they should use, or how to lash the logs together, or even how many they should use. She mentally shrugged. It wasn’t as if she knew those things either.

Jonathan put down his camera and leaned his elbows on his upraised knees. They’d sat down a while back because it was hard work to stand all day filming. They’d used one of their emergency blankets for a barrier between the cold, hard ground and their backsides. He looked at Kina sitting next to him, until she too put down her camera. He smiled at her.

“Think they have a chance at winning?”

“No way in hell,” Kina answered, laughing quietly.

“Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island with four people you hate, or by yourself?”

“Easy. Definitely by myself.” Kina told him. Jonathan agreed.

Kina tried to think of a really good question. “Would you rather have the hiccups for the rest of your life or feel like you need to sneeze, but not be able to, for the rest of your life?”

Jonathan laughed so hard Roger and Darius looked over at them. Jonathan waved at them in apology before answering. “Oh my God, both of those options are so horrible. But I’d have to say the sneeze thing because I hate it when I have the hiccups. I can’t imagine having them nonstop forever.”

Kina just smiled. She couldn’t believe she was sitting here, in the middle of Alaska, on the job, enjoying the hell out of being with a man. She stared at Jonathan’s lips, wondering what they’d feel like on hers.

“You’d better stop looking at me like that, Kina, or I won’t be responsible for my actions,” Jonathan warned her seriously.

“How am I looking at you?”

“Like you want to have your wicked way with me.”

Kina turned back toward the men struggling to tie two logs together, still grinning.

Jonathan shifted. He was hard and he hadn’t even kissed her yet. The look Kina had given him made him want to throw her over his shoulder and head off to their tent for the rest of the night. She was sexy as hell and he wanted nothing more than to spend hours worshiping her. He sighed. It wasn’t the time or the place, dammit. But if he had his way, he’d taste her lips before the night was up.

Later, as the sun was setting and after they’d eaten their pre-packaged meal, Kina watched uncomfortably as Darius tried unsuccessfully over and over, to light a fire. The men had gathered small sticks and some moss and had been trying to use the flint, with no luck. How anyone could fail at building a fire when they had a perfectly good flint was beyond her. She couldn’t stand it anymore. The men were miserable. She looked around, as if someone would be standing in the woods spying on them, and leaned over to whisper to Jonathan.