Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) (4 page)

Seriously, everything that came out of his mouth just got better and better. Was he for real? All right, she had to think of some good questions to ask him.

“Okay, wow. Hmm. Let’s see. I’ll start out easy. What’s your favorite color?” She wanted to start out simple to break the intensity in the conversation.

“That’s easy. Blue. My turn.”

              Kina squirmed in her seat. It seemed like a good idea whe
n
sh
e
was the one that got to ask the questions. It wasn’t as much fun being on the other side.

“Are your toenails currently painted?”

Huh? That was his question
?
“That’s your question?” she repeated what she was thinking incredulously.

“Yup. I’ve been imagining what your delicate feet look like for days. And thinking about your cute little feet led me to think about your toes. Then I got to wondering if you were the type of woman who liked to paint her toenails a sexy red or maybe with a sheer coat of pink…believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time imagining what you look like with naked…feet.”

Kina blushed hotly. Jesus. She squirmed in her seat. He was good. “Uh, no. Just plain toenails. No color,” she squeaked out.

Jonathan picked up her hand and ran his thumb idly over the back of it. She was so cute. This was fun. “Your turn again, honey.”

“Uh yeah, okay. Um. I heard you telling Carl this was your last job as a camera operator. Why?”

He answered without hesitation, hiding nothing from her. “I hate it.” At her raised eyebrows and obvious shock he continued, “I’ve been living in Los Angeles for the last few years and the people there are so fake and jaded. I thought maybe filming for reality shows would be better, but it’s not. I’ve had enough. My brother Dean, you met him on the last show, is going to let me come and work with him. I’ll be able to be near him and Becky, as well as my folks. I can’t wait. I’ve missed my family.”

Wow, Kina would love to have a place she could call home. She’d never really thought about it. All she’d known for the last few years was moving from one set to another. But to have a place where you belonged, where you could put down roots was something she’d always wanted, but hadn’t been able to hold on to.

“Tell me how you got into this occupation.”

Kina thought about Jonathan’s question for a moment. Her answer wasn’t a quick and easy one, by any stretch. How much should she tell him? She looked at the man sitting next to her quietly, waiting for whatever she wanted to tell him. She made the decision to be honest.

“A while ago I was broke and homeless. I’d just left my boyfriend and didn’t have any ambition, or anywhere to go. An old acquaintance of mine felt sorry for me and let me move into the basement apartment of a house she was renting out. She also got me in touch with someone she knew in the television business who needed a daytime janitor. I started working and the cameras fascinated me. I paid attention, got friendly with the people who worked there and learned all I could. One thing led to another and here I am. I took the job with Eddie because it got me out of that crappy little town and allowed me to move around. I don’t have any family and Matt had made sure I didn’t have any friends, so there was nothing for me there.”

She looked down at the hand Jonathan was holding and winced. He’d been squeezing it harder than was comfortable. Just as she went to pull her hand away he suddenly loosened his fingers and put them in his lap. She could see his fists were clenched. His voice, when he spoke however, was calm.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad you got out of that situation and you’re here now. I have about a million more questions I’d love to ask about some of what you just shared, but I hope you’ll tell me when you’re ready. This was supposed to be a lighthearted game so we could get to know each other better.”

Kina put her hand over Jonathan’s in his lap. She could feel the tension. It warmed her inside that he was trying to hide it from her. This definitely wasn’t like her. In the past she would’ve warned him away from caring about her at all. But now, it felt right.

“I didn’t mean to go there, but I’m not sorry I told you. Matt, my last boyfriend, did a number on me. I’ll admit it. He tried to control everything I did. He told me what I could eat. He alienated all my friends. He made me dependent on him for everything and I hated it. I hated myself when I was with him. I can’t ever go back to that sort of relationship. I don’t know if I even have it in me to trust any man again after what he did.”

Jonathan consciously tried to relax. Every muscle in his body was tense and he wanted to go and beat the hell out of this Matt person, but he had to keep himself in control. He knew Kina wasn’t the type of person who wanted or needed that kind of man. She was independent and he loved that about her. It wouldn’t be easy to tone down his protective instincts when it came to her, but he’d try. He turned his hand over and captured hers in his now relaxed grip.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it wasn’t easy. I swear I don’t want to control you. I want to be with you. I want to stand next to you, not in front of you. If you allow me to spend time with you I’ll show you that you can trust me. I won’t let you down.”

Kina opened her mouth to say something, she wasn’t sure what, when the waiter arrived with their meal
.
Saved by the food
!

Jonathan was content to let the serious subject drop for now. Kina had opened up to him and he was more than pleased. It had to mean she was beginning to trust him a little bit. He could wait.

Throughout dinner they continued their game of asking questions, although none were as intense as before.

“Which do you like better, chicken or steak?” Kina asked.

“Steak. What’s your favorite scent?”

“Hyacinths. They smell so good! If you could be any animal what would you be?”

“Hippo.”

Kina laughed at his answer, not expecting it. “Hippo? Who chooses that? Why a hippo?”

“No one messes with a hippo. Think about it. If you saw a hippo, what would you do? I’ll tell you, you’d run the other way.” Kina had to agree. God, he was hysterical. It was his turn.

“What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?”

“If I told you, I’d just be embarrassed all over again!” They both laughed.

He let it slide and asked another question instead. “What do you think of men with long hair?”

“Easy,” Kina said easily reaching over to finger the end of the long pony tail hanging down his back. “I never thought I’d like it, but now I think it’s sexy as hell.”

Jonathan almost spit the water he’d been drinking across the table. Good God. He was hoping for a positive answer, but that was way more than he could’ve hoped for. He smiled at her, changing the subject to keep himself from kissing the hell out of her. “Your turn.”

Their questions eventually turned into a game Jonathan used to play with his brother all the time. They called it, ‘Would you rather.’ He thought he remembered reading somewhere that it’d been made into an actual game people could buy, but he could only remember the fun times he’d had with his family playing it. The object was to pick one of two equally horrible choices. It was hilarious and Kina got into the spirit of the game without hesitation.

“Would you rather be bald or excessively hairy?”

“Would you rather break an arm or a leg?”

“Would you rather eat breakfast foods for the rest of your life or only dinner foods?”

They sat laughing and talking until they finally noticed they were the only people left in the restaurant. They’d been there for hours and Kina couldn’t remember having a better time with anyone in her entire life. Jonathan was fun to be around and she felt no pressure. He was being true to his word and letting her set the pace of their relationship.

They apologized to the manager for staying so long, paid their bill and made their way to the SUV. It was late and dark. Kina felt Jonathan’s hand at the small of her back as he steered her toward their parking spot. She noticed him constantly scanning the area as if looking for trouble. He didn’t run to the car, but he also didn’t waste any time. He was protecting her, and she couldn’t get upset with him. When Matt used to do stuff like that it annoyed the hell out of her, but she knew it was because he felt as if she belonged to him and was just looking for a reason to beat the hell out of someone. She honestly believed Jonathan was doing it because she was important to him and he wanted to make sure she was safe. She had no idea how she knew that, but she did.

Once again he opened the door for her and when she was settled into the seat he handed her the seat belt. God, why that made goose bumps break out over her body, she had no idea. Kina decided she liked it when Jonathan looked after her.

After they were on their way back to the hotel Kina asked, “Would you rather have to rollerblade everywhere you went or skateboard?” Jonathan smiled. She liked the game they had played with one another. It was intimate and personal. Hell, she just liked Jonathan.

It was time for another challenge. Eddie was upping the ante with this second challenge and the men were going to have to do something a bit more physical. Their task this week was to split logs. Alaskans who didn’t live in cities usually used wood stoves to heat their homes. They had to split a lot of logs to keep warm throughout the long brutal winters.

Kina laughed. She didn’t think any of the contestants had ever had to split logs before. This would be funny.

The men were loaded into two separate vans along with Shannel and Eddie and some of the other producers. The camera crew took their own SUV. Eddie didn’t care about having any shots of the men in the car on the way to the venue.

They drove south of the city to Chugach State Park. The Park Rangers had cleared a small section of the park for them to film in. The men were given a lesson on the safest and most efficient way to use the axe. Many times people would use a wedge to assist them in chopping, but Eddie thought that was too wimpy for the show. After donning safety glasses and gloves, each man was allowed to practice chop one log to get the hang of it.

After safety had been taken care of, the show could start. Eddie lined all the men up and let Shannel do her hosting duties. She explained the premise of the contest, that the men each had ten minutes to chop as many logs as they could. Big trees were already chopped up into sections. Each section had to be cut up by the contestants into pieces that would fit into a typical wood stove. Each one would be measured and should be around six to eight inches in diameter. Anything larger would be thrown out.

The man who’d chopped the most legal sized pieces, the quickest, would win. The two men who chopped the least, the slowest, would be going home.

In order to save some time, the men would be competing two at a time. It was going to take probably around two hours to get through everyone as it was. Making sure camera angles were appropriate and each area was cleaned up between contestants was also important. Kina knew that when people were watching the show it would only take around ten minutes for everyone to get through their turn because of editing, but in reality it took hours because of having to re-do the set for each man. Not to mention safety procedures and questions that might arise during the filming.

Taylor and Kina were placed around one chopping area and Jonathan and Carl were set around the other. Jeff was a ‘floater,’ meaning he had to walk around and film the reactions of the other contestants and other interesting shots as the chopping was occurring.

              The first men to go were Slade the lawyer, and Darius the chemist. They each set up at their block of wood and when Shannel blew the whistle, they were off. Darius completely missed with his first swing of the axe. Slade wasn’t much better; but at least he hit the wood with his first strike, but then he couldn’t get the axe out of the chunk of wood. And so it went.

Kina tried not to laugh as each group of men took their turn. It was obvious Julio, the web site developer, had never even held an axe before, because despite the instruction they’d had, he first tried to chop the chunk of wood with the blunt side of the axe. Roger and Trent were a bit better, but not by much. Kina was shocked at how good Benedict was. He’d obviously had some experience in the past, because he actually had a stack of something that resembled firewood at the end of his ten minutes.

It was during Ian’s and Nash’s heat that the first injury occurred. Nash was furiously trying to chop the wood as fast as he could and when he swung the axe upward to take another hit, it flew out of his hands. Kina saw it go flying right toward Jonathan. She was supposed to be watching Ian through her lens to get the best shots, but she couldn’t help but see the deadly weapon flying straight toward Jonathan. Luckily, he was paying attention and stepped out of the way of the missile at the last minute. When it landed, blade first, it hit a rock and a piece came flying up and hit Carl on the side of the head.

Carl was too much of a professional to stop filming. He kept on rolling until the ten minutes was up. Kina tried to pay attention to Ian, but all she could think about was if Jonathan hadn’t stepped out of the way, he could’ve been hit with the axe. It was bad enough to see the trickle of blood coming from the side of Carl’s face, all she could think was that it could’ve been Jonathan’s skull bleeding.

After Eddie finally said “cut” after the time was up, Trent, a nurse, went over to Carl to see if he could help. Carl tried to blow off the whole incident, but for once Eddie was a being a stickler for safety. Everyone gathered around Carl while Trent bandaged the slight cut on the side of his head. He absolutely refused to go to the hospital and Eddie actually made him sign a piece of paper that said as much.

Nash tried to apologize profusely, but Carl wasn’t having it. Kina tried to get herself back into the swing of filming again, but it was hard. She didn’t like to think of anyone being hurt, especially a friend like Carl, but the close call for Jonathan was never far from her mind. She knew Jonathan was trying to catch her eye, but she refused to look at him. She had to get herself together.

Finally, each of the ten contestants finished with their chopping. Shannel lined them all up again to announce the verdict. Benedict was the overall winner, which wasn’t surprising to anyone. He’d done a great job. In the end Julio and Cole, the security officer, had chopped the least amount of wood. Because they weren’t back at the production house, they had to “pretend” to leave. Jeff filmed them walking toward the van and getting in. Kina knew they’d splice in a shot of the van leaving later. But for now, some of the contestants joined Julio and Cole in one van and everyone else piled in the other to go back to the house.

Kina was glad she didn’t have to be in the van; the men had been sweating profusely. It wasn’t actually warm outside, but the exertion of chopping the wood plus their nerves, were enough to make them quite odiferous.

Eddie told the camera operators they had the rest of the day off. Nothing was going to go on back at the house, except for Julio and Cole packing their stuff and leaving the set. Eddie had learned his lesson in Arizona and each of the men, after leaving the show, were brought to a different hotel until the end of the show. That would assure that no one knew who won, but it was also protection for the contestants themselves in case someone didn’t agree with the results of the competitions.

              The camera crew piled into the SUV, ready to head back to the hotel to get their own showers. Kina leaned over the seat toward Carl.

“Are you really okay, Carl?”

“Sure, Kina, it really only winged me, not a big deal. Besides, you know I have a hard head.”

Kina tried to joke with him, “Impressive you didn’t drop the camera!”

Carl mock bowed and tipped an imaginary hat in her direction.

They all laughed. It actuall
y
wa
s
amazing he hadn’t stopped filming.

Kina sat back and let the conversation and good natured ribbing continue around her. She looked over at Jonathan for the first time since they’d climbed into the car. She didn’t know what she expected him to say, but she never thought he’d make light of the situation.

“Would you rather be hit by a flying axe or a flying hammer?”

She didn’t want to laugh, truly she didn’t, the situation wasn’t funny in the least, but she couldn’t help it. Dammit. Why’d he have to be funny on top of everything else?

“Ha, ha, very funny, twinkle toes.” At his smile she continued. “How’d you know that thing was coming at you since you were watching only through the camera lens?”

Jeff sat sideways and put his elbow on the back of his seat. “Yeah, that was actually pretty impressive, Baker.”

Jonathan waved his hand as if waving off any kind of praise. “I saw him trying to grip the handle on the few swings he took before that one. He was losing his grip on every swing; I figured it was only a matter of time. I was already planning on moving to a different vantage point when he let it fly. I guess I was just lucky.”

“Damn lucky, if you ask me,” Taylor called back from the front seat. Kina had to agree.

When they got back to the hotel, Jonathan waited until the others had left to go up to their rooms. He lightly grasped Kina’s elbow and asked. “Want to do something today?”

“I thought you were going to let me be in charge?” she told him teasingly.

Jonathan grinned. God, she was cute. “Okay, so what do you want to do for the rest of the day?”

Kina laughed. How he ever thought he’d be able to let her make all the decisions she’d never know. “What did you have in mind?” She knew he had to have something up his sleeve or he wouldn’t have asked her.

“What about the Alaska Native Heritage Center?”

Kina didn’t know what to say. She thought he might say the name of another restaurant or something. She never thought he’d be into something educational. She blushed. She’d stereotyped him, and she didn’t like that about herself.

“Sure, sounds interesting.”

As Jonathan pulled the keys out of pocket, Kina looked at him. She smirked; he’d had it planned the entire time. The rat.

As if Jonathan knew what she was thinking, he said, “I asked Taylor for them earlier. He said he didn’t mind if we took the car again today. He said he was going to call home and then take a nap.”

Jonathan settled Kina into the front passenger seat and once again handed her the seatbelt. Kina loved it.

When they were on the road to the Heritage Center she asked him why he’d chosen it.

“I just thought if we were going to spend six weeks in Alaska, I’d like to get to know more about the culture of the people and the history. It’s fascinating to me how the Eskimos and Native people have lived for hundreds of years, doing things the same way, passed down from generation to generation. I thought we’d get an appreciation of the Native people and their traditions and history of the state.”

“I’d like that.” Jonathan was a lot deeper than Kina had ever given him credit for. He was like an onion, the layers just kept peeling off one by one, revealing more and more of the man underneath. She was liking what she’d seen so far.

Jonathan parked the SUV and they strolled into the Center, hand in hand. Kina didn’t even hesitate to grasp his hand when he held it out to her as he helped her from the car. Holding his hand was almost as natural as breathing. She didn’t even try to think about how fast he’d become important to her. She just accepted it, and hoped like hell he wouldn’t break her heart. He’d just started to thaw it out, she didn’t want to imagine what would happen if he broke her trust now.

They walked around and checked out the different exhibits. There were a lot of fun things for kids to do. There were traditional dances that were held at the center as well, but none were being performed that day. It didn’t matter. They were enjoying just being with each other and learning about a different way of life and culture. Talk eventually turned to work.

“What do you think of the show?” Jonathan asked Kina. “You were with Eddie in Australia. Do you think he’s changed at all?”

Kina thought about it before answering. “Yes and no. Yes, this show is different in that Eddie isn’t trying to hook anyone up. I think he learned his lesson from Arizona. But I also think he’s still Eddie. He’ll still try to manipulate anyone he can in order to make the show a success. He has even more to lose now after not being able to air the Arizona show.”

She paused. Not knowing if it was really appropriate to ask her next question, but she remembered what Jonathan had said at dinner, that he’d tell her the truth if he could. She figured if he didn’t want to answer, he’d tell her. “Can I ask you something?”

He didn’t hesitate to reassure her. “Of course hon, anything.”

“How is Becky doing? I feel so horrible about what happened to her back in Arizona. I had no idea those guys would attack her at the hotel. I was in the limo when she was dropped off. I just feel like maybe I should’ve done something…” Her voice trailed off.

Jonathan stopped their stroll and pulled her over to a bench against a wall. They sat and he put their clasped hands on his thigh and put his other hand over the two of theirs. “She’s okay, Kina. She’s been seeing a therapist and working through her issues. She and Dean are so in love, it’s almost sickening.” He said that with a smile so she’d know he was kidding. His voice got serious again. “Remember how I told you I don’t sleep well? That I get nightmares?” At her nod he continued. “It’s because of what happened to her. I should have stopped it. I had every chance and I didn’t.”

“I don’t believe that,” Kina said without even asking what he meant. “Seriously, Jonathan, I don’t know how you think you could’ve done anything, but I know without a doubt you did everything right that night. You couldn’t have done anything differently.”

              Jonathan gave her a sad smile. “Thanks hon, but you don’t know…”

              Before he could continue Kina interrupted him. “
I
d
o
know. Jonathan, my God, there’s no way you’d have let anyone get hurt on your watch. You need to let this go.”

“I can’t,” he said simply.

“Have you talked to someone about this?” Kina asked him seriously. “I know most men think they’re too macho to need any help getting through horrible things that happen to them, but it sounds as if you need to talk it through.”