Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3) (8 page)

When Jonathan turned around he saw Kina standing with her arms folded across her chest…grinning.

Thank God.

Jonathan didn’t say anything, but put his arm around her and rested his hand at the small of her back before steering them toward their tents. He waited to hear what she had to say. It didn’t take long; they hadn’t even made it ten steps when she said, “God, that was hot.”

He smiled.

“Would you rather have a guy fight for you or over you?”

He wasn’t expecting an answer, but heard Kina say under her breath, “For me.”

* * *

As Jonathan lay in his tent with Kina in his arms, he thought about what would happen after the show was over. He knew he was headed back to Arizona for good. He was telling Kina the truth when he’d explained that he wasn’t cut out to be a camera operator anymore. He was excited about his new career. He didn’t know what Kina thought was happening between them, though. Sure, he’d told her she was his, but he didn’t know if she really understood what that meant or what he’d meant by it.

They’d had a lot of serious talks lately, but he figured he might as well start one more. He hated to disturb the sweet feeling of her lying in his arms. Kina fit him perfectly and he could imagine them falling asleep this way every night for the rest of their lives, but that was the problem. He had no idea if
she
also could see that, or even if she wanted it.

“You awake?” he asked Kina softly.

“Yeah,” she murmured sleepily.

“What are your plans for after this show is over?” he asked bluntly, not beating around the bush. He might as well throw it out there. Jonathan knew Kina would rather he be upfront and honest than prevaricate.

Kina was tired and half-asleep, until she heard the seriousness behind Jonathan’s question. She had no idea how to answer him. She knew what she wanted, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear.

She decided to tread carefully. “Eddie’s offered to sign me on for another three show contract, but I’m not sure I want to keep working for him. I’m not thrilled with the way he treats people and what he’s done to the contestants on his shows in the past.”

She squirmed when Jonathan didn’t answer right away.

“What if I asked you to come back to Arizona with me?” he finally asked.

              God. Kina didn’t know how to answer him. It was way too soon for her to be thinking about moving to a different state for a man…wasn’t it?

“I don’t know what to say,” she told him honestly. And she didn’t. She wanted to jump up and scream ‘Yes!’ but the more practical side of her said she didn’t even know him.

“Say yes,” Jonathan urged, but said no more.

“What would I do there?”

Jonathan wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to do anything but love him, but he knew that’d sound crazy. And besides, Kina was the type of woman who needed to do something; she needed to feel like she was contributing. She’d never let him earn all the money.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, “but I’d help you find whatever it was that you wanted to do there. All I know is I want you with me. I don’t want to leave in a few weeks and never see you again. You’re all I’ve ever wanted in my life. More than I ever thought I’d have. I want to introduce you to my folks as mine, have you see how happy they are on the animal refuge they run. I know you saw them when you were there for the last show, but I want you t
o
kno
w
them. I want to have double dates with my brother and Becky."

“You’re smart, Kina; if you want to stay in television, I’m sure you’ll find your way to do that. We have lots of TV stations there, with your experience, someone will snatch you up quickly. If you want to do something else, we’ll figure that out too. I just want to share my life with you, however you’ll let me.”

Kina teared up. She was thankful it was dark in the tent and Jonathan couldn’t see her. “I’ll have to think about it,” she finally said, once she had her emotions under control. “I’ve been at the mercy of a man before, I told you about that,” she told him honestly. “I don’t know if I can do it again.” She felt him nod, but he kept silent.

“I’m not asking you to be at my mercy, hon. If anything, I’m a
t
you
r
mercy. You could tell me you wanted to live on a nudist colony and I’d be helpless to deny you anything. If you wanted to get your own place, I’d understand. I want you to feel comfortable and not feel like I’m smothering you. It would kill me to have you living there and not in my arms every night, but I understand why you’d need that. I do.”

Quiet settled over them. They both had a lot to think about.

When Kina didn’t think Jonathan would say anything else before they fell back asleep, he surprised her.

“All my life I’ve heard from my dad about how he met my mom. He told me and Dean stories about how when we found the woman for us, we’d know immediately. We’d take one look and know she was th
e
On
e
. Kina, I swear I thought he was crazy. There was no way anyone could do that. It wasn’t logical. Dean and I always laughed at him behind his back. Then Dean met Becky. He told me it was exactly as Dad had explained to us. He met her and knew she was it for him. He was done. Period. I still didn’t really believe the whole thing. I mean, it’s ridiculous...Then I met you.”

              Silence filled the tent again
.
What was he saying? Was he saying…no
.

“Jonathan,” Kina started. She had no idea what she was going to say, but Jonathan interrupted her by putting his fingers across her lips. His fingers were warm against her mouth. She felt his lips skim across the top of her head.

“Don’t say anything, love. I know it’s crazy and hard to believe, hell, I didn’t believe it and I had the proof in my dad and ancestors right there in my face my entire life. But you’re it for me. If you don’t want to go to Arizona, I’ll go wherever you want to go. I’ll follow you around as you advance your career. I don’t care. I’ll stay at home and clean and cook and do your laundry. Whatever it takes. I won’t lie, I was looking forward to working with Dean and living near my family, but you mean more to me than all of that. You think about it. Whatever you want to do, I’ll be there, if you’ll let me.”

Kina didn’t like it. Not at all. She didn’t want to be hi
s
On
e
. She wasn’t good enough for him. How could he feel that for her? She had so many questions and so many doubts. It was too much pressure.

Jonathan sighed. He knew it was too soon for him to reveal his feelings, but he couldn’t help it. He loved her. Period. He’d let Kina think about what he said and hope like hell he hadn’t just chased her away for good.

He put his hand on the back of her head and held her to him. “Shhhh, don’t say anything. Just go to sleep. No pressure, hon. I swear. Just sleep. We’ll talk about it later.”

He felt her nod. Neither fell asleep right away.

Kina woke up first in the morning. Jonathan had slept peacefully through the night and hadn’t had any more nightmares, at least none that had woken her up. She lay there waiting for the day to start, enjoying the feeling of being held tight. Even in his sleep, Jonathan hadn’t loosened his hold on her. It felt…good. Not stifling, as it would have felt if another man held her like that. Kina breathed in Jonathan’s smell. He hadn’t shaved in the time they’d been out there, and the beginnings of his dark beard were sexy as hell. She would’ve gotten up, but somehow knew if she moved, he’d immediately wake up. She was enjoying being close to him and listening to him lightly snore.

She thought about everything he’d told her last night. She’d been way freaked out, but this morning, lying in his arms, she’d mellowed. She had no idea why, but she believed him. She’d seen Dean with Becky. She’d even seen his parents with each other. There was something about their relationships that seemed magical. She never saw any of them being overbearing or too controlling. Yes, Dean was protective, but Becky never complained. The more Kina thought about it, the more the tight ball of doubt in her stomach began to loosen.

Eventually, Jonathan began to stir. The real world would intrude on their idyllic time soon enough. She looked in his eyes as they opened for the first time.

“What time is it?” he mumbled sleepily.

“I have no idea.” She decided to go on as if their emotional discussion the night before hadn’t happened. There’d be time to re-hash it and figure everything out later. “Would you rather have to wake up at six am every morning no matter what, or not be able to go to sleep until one am?” As far as a “would you rather” question, it was kinda lame, but Jonathan laughed anyway. He squeezed her once and stretched.

“I’ll go out first, give you some time to get changed, unless you want to go first?”

Kina nodded and waved him on. He was always looking out for her, never forcing her to do things his way. Would that annoy her down the line? Would it get old? She wasn’t sure. She wasn’t submissive, but it was nice to be taken care of now and then. She’d been honest with Jonathan about that. She figured it had a lot to do with her childhood, when she’d not really had anyone to take care of her. She sighed. She was worrying herself to death. Kina decided to take the day as it came and not worry about anything other than getting the best shots for the show.

Darius and Roger were actually still sleeping by the time she and Jonathan had finished getting ready. Kina filmed some quick shots of them sleeping that could be spliced into the final version of the show, then helped Jonathan pack up their tents. They’d be picked up today and the competition would commence to see whose raft floated the best in the lake.

Not too much later, the two men woke up and started their morning. They didn’t have any food left, having eaten it all in the days before, and they hadn’t found anything else to eat near the campsite. They were grumpy and tired, and it showed. Kina tried not to laugh. It wasn’t nice, but she knew it’d make for great reality TV.

Precisely at noon, Eddie strode into the camp area. Kina had no idea where he came from, but thought it was funny he just sort of appeared out of thin air. He asked Darius and Roger if they were ready to go and simply nodded when an emphatic ‘yes’ was the answer.

They all trudged down to where a boat was waiting on the lake. It had Benedict and Nash in it already, along with Taylor. The plan was to collect everyone and meet Shannel back at a rendezvous point. They’d film some of the ceremony there and then make the rounds to each of the campsites where the men would show off their rafts and attempt to make the six-hundred-yard round trip, to prove their raft was seaworthy. Of course on television, it would be seamless and the traveling from campsite to campsite wouldn’t be shown. More of the magic of editing and television.

It was a pretty sad group that gathered with Shannel. Trent and Ian apparently weren’t speaking to each other because of something that happened back at their campsite. Roger and Darius weren’t too bad, although Roger looked like he had a three-week beard instead of just a three-day one. Benedict and Nash looked like they hadn’t slept at all in the last three days.

              Shannel went around the group, asking the men how they fared, whether they’d had anything to eat besides the one MRE they were given, and if they were able to light a fire with the flint they were given.

Kina was scared that Roger and Darius were going to spill the beans about how she’d cheated and given them a few matches, but she should’ve known better. There was no way they were going to let anyone know what had happened. They were too thankful they’d had fire to give her away.

The others had also managed, from what they’d said, to light their fire. It seemed that was the best thing that happened to any of them, however. Trent and Ian fought over every aspect of their time out in the wilderness. Trent had wanted to build the raft one way and Ian disagreed. So they’d spent the first day and a half arguing about it. They didn’t want to cooperate with each other in building a place to sleep because they were so mad at each other, so they suffered as a result of that as well. Since Ian was a restaurant owner, he had all sorts of ideas about how to find food, but Trent’s occupation as a nurse made him wary of eating anything that wasn’t packaged and safe. All in all, it sounded like they’d had a perfectly miserable time. Kina knew they would be highlighted pretty heavily in the airing of the show. While Eddie might not like drama personally, it made for great television.

Kina thought Roger and Darius’ recounting of their time by the lake was actually pretty boring, especially compared to Ian and Trent’s. She knew Eddie would cut most of it from the show. There just wasn’t anything fun to watch about two people getting along and not having anything dramatic happen.

Benedict and Nash had a close call with a bear while they were sleeping one night. Apparently Nash hadn’t put away the trash from their MRE very well and they’d heard a bear around their site. They panicked and didn’t know what to do, but Taylor had taken one of his camera lights and shone it at the bear. Luckily, the bright light scared it enough, that it ambled away. Of course Taylor hadn’t gotten that part on film, much to Eddie’s chagrin, but he did manage to get some footage of the bear walking away into the woods surrounding the lake. It was a good shot, just enough drama to use as a teaser for the show.

The contestants were all loaded up into one boat with Shannel, Eddie, and Carl, and the rest of the crew climbed into another. They headed off to Trent and Ian’s campsite and raft first.

Jeff couldn’t control himself and just had to act like an ass, while they were headed away from the dock.

“So…you two have a good time out in the wilderness?”

Jonathan didn’t answer, trying to control himself for Kina’s sake, but glared at Jeff instead. Kina could’ve told him that wouldn’t shut the other man up.

“Seriously, did you use body heat to keep warm? Wish I was paired up with you, baby, I would’ve found some creative ways to keep you warm a-l-l night long.”

Before Kina could put a hand on Jonathan to keep him calm, he’d taken Jeff by the collar and was holding him over the side of the fast-moving boat. Crap!

“If you ever lay a hand on her, you’ll regret it. Hear me?”

Kina quickly put her camera down and instead of pulling on Jonathan, she knew that wouldn’t do any good, she leaned over Jonathan, putting her hand on the small of his back to steady herself and put her face right up next to Jeff’s.

“As if I’d let you anywhere near me Jeff. Stick with your groupie chicks, you’ll never get any of this!”

Jonathan realized what he’d done the second he felt Kina’s hand on his back
.
Ah, crap
.
Oh well, it was too late to take it back. It was the third time he’d acted without thinking when someone had spoken crap to Kina. She’d forgiven him twice; he wasn’t sure how long his luck would hold out if he kept it up. He was shocked to hear Kina’s scowled words at Jeff. Although he supposed he shouldn’t be. She could hold her own, he knew it, but there was no way he’d leave her to fight her own battles. She was his. He’d protect her no matter who or what was threatening her. And Jeff’s words were definitely a threat.

He pulled back, bringing Jeff upright with him, and Jonathan could still feel Kina’s hand on his back. She was lightly rubbing in little circles, as if to calm him down. And surprisingly, it was working. Just her touch alone could ground him.

As soon as he had his balance, Jeff shrugged off Jonathan’s hold. “I was just kidding man, jeez!”

They all knew he hadn’t been joking, but in order to let it drop, they all backed off. Kina picked her camera off the bottom of the boat and waited for them to arrive at the campsite. She wasn’t sure why she wasn’t more pissed. If it had been any other man, or even if this had happened before she and Jonathan had spent those two days and nights talking and sharing emotional experiences, she would’ve gone off. She was perfectly able to speak for herself and put Jeff in his place. But now, knowing Jonathan the way she did, she felt warm inside. It was obvious he was trying to tone down any he-man tendencies he might have, but to have someone so willing to stick up for her was a heady feeling. One she was very afraid she could get used to.

* * *

It was decided the camera operators for each pair of contestants would film their portion of the raft contest, so Kina and Jonathan could just watch from a distance as Benedict and Nash tried to paddle the six hundred yards on their raft. Kina thought they just might have a chance. Their raft seemed to be very sturdy and at first, they were doing great. They’d made it three hundred yards out and had started back toward the shore when it started tipping.

Nash tried to compensate for Benedict’s weight sliding toward the water but couldn’t quite recover the raft. It made for an excellently framed shot. Benedict fell into the water with a huge splash and the raft tipped all the way up. This, consequently, literally threw Nash from the tallest point on the raft, head-over-heels into the water. The raft flipped completely upside down. If the contest was being held in Florida this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but because it was Alaska, in late September, it was a serious situation.

The water was not warm. Everyone standing around knew the men didn’t have a lot of time, before they’d start freezing, literally. The motorized boat was there, ready to fish the contestants out of the water if needed, but first it was obvious they wanted to try to get back on their raft and finish the competition. After a few attempts, everyone standing on the bank watching knew it wasn’t going to be possible. Every time Benedict tried to get back on, the raft tipped almost vertically so he couldn’t manage it. They got smart and Nash tried to balance it out on the other side, but as soon as Benedict got halfway on and Nash tried to get on as well, it would tip.

After about five minutes of the men gallantly trying to board their craft, the medic on the boat called it quits. The two men were fished out of the lake and their sad little raft was towed back to shore.

Kina wasn’t one to laugh at anyone’s misfortune, but they had looked pretty funny. She was just glad it wasn’t her in the cold water. While everyone else was warm and dry on the bank, Ian said just loud enough for those standing around to hear, “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”

Kina almost lost it when Jonathan leaned toward her and whispered for her ears only, “Except for bears, bears will kill you.” It was especially funny since they were all currently standing in prime bear territory. It was funny, but not funny at the same time. Kina mock-glared at Jonathan and said primly, “Shhhh, behave!”

They shared a smile at the joke.

When the men got back to shore, everyone could see the medic had provided them with emergency blankets to warm their core body temperature. The men were fine health-wise. Wet, cold, and upset they couldn’t make it back to shore on the raft, but fine.

Everyone re-boarded the boats to make their way to Roger and Darius’ camp so those two could try out their home-made raft. Apparently, making a raft from scratch was harder than it looked. Roger and Darius started out well, just as Benedict and Nash had, but they had issues even before they’d made it to the three hundred yard mark. There wasn’t anything dramatic about the failure of their raft, they just suddenly started sinking. One minute they were there on the lake paddling hard, the next they were up to their waists in water, then everyone saw logs floating all around them and all that could be seen of them was their heads bobbing above the waterline.

They were quickly hauled into the safety boat as well. Benedict and Nash high-fived each other. Because they’d gone further than Roger and Darius, they’d be staying on the show. It was up to Trent and Ian to beat the benchmark that had just been set by Roger and Darius.

Shortly after everyone arrived at their campsite, it was pretty obvious that Trent and Ian would be going home. Their raft looked like it had been built by a bunch of kids. There were large spaces between the logs they’d tried to lash together, which by itself wouldn’t necessarily mean the raft wouldn’t float, but the lashings were unevenly spaced and the knots didn’t look right. Kina figured if she, someone who knew nothing about what a knot on a homemade raft was supposed to look like, thought they looked weird, then the duo was doomed.