Meanwhile I had noticed that her present
state of collapse was causing her robe to open, displaying gorgeous
legs and just a hint of blonde curls. I was suddenly completely
awake for the first time that morning. Maybe there was time to
celebrate this joyous holiday after all…
Kelly continued to complain to the ceiling.
“It's not like Jesus went around handing out Skittles to the
cripples. 'Here, take thee and partake of the fish and the loaves
and the bite-size Butterfingers.' What the hell are you
doing?”
“I'm hunting for Easter eggs.”
“I'm pretty… um… pretty sure I didn't hide
any there. Oh.”
“Can't be too sure, it looks like a nice
soft place to hide stuff.”
“Ah, Jesus… just a little faster… hey! Stop
that! The kids are gonna come downstairs any second!” She tried
pulling her robe closed but my higher brain functions had gone back
to sleep, the beast was in control, and I had a good lock on her
thighs.
“We'd better hurry then, huh? C'mon babe,
you're no bunny 'til some bunny loves you. Hey, look, I found
candy!” I pulled a cherry lollipop out of the leftover bag and
began running it between her furry lips. Two great tastes… She
didn't object, not in so many words, so I decided to see if rapid
rubbing against a g-spot could help me get to the center of a
Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop. I made sure to keep it well lubricated by
pulling it out and sucking on it now and then. I even gave her my
best blow-job impersonation; propping the stick against her clit
and bobbing up and down on the “head”. With one hand she grabbed my
head and guided me. I couldn't see where the other hand was, but it
was fun to think about.
“Yeah, baby, take it all,” she cried,
quietly. She pumped her hips back and forth, sorta joking and sorta
getting off on it. “Suck! Suck it, oh god… Hey, my turn!” Kelly
scooted backwards up the back of the couch and moved over so I
could sit down. I handed her the sucker, but she just smiled and
said she had better.
She worked my shorts off — she always pulls
them off flat to my body, she says she likes watching my dick fwap
against my stomach — and kneeled between my legs. She smacked her
lips like Wile E. Coyote spotting the Roadrunner, letting her
tongue sweep from one corner of her mouth to the other, and then
she smiled up at me as she grabbed the base of my cock with one
hand and brought out her other hand out to produce… a chocolate
bunny. I think I just gave her a dumb look, and then she grinned,
twisted the head off the poor little rodent and jammed it over the
head of my dick. I couldn't help laughing, it fit perfectly, and it
gave my genitalia such a festive look. Then I saw how she was
looking at it, and ice water ran down my spine. I've seen how she
eats chocolate bunnies. “Um, you're not gonna bite the head off,
are you?”
Kelly just grinned again and stroked my
shaft before she started nibbling on “my” ears. “Oh, yum. This is
much better than the old way.” In her hand our new rabbit friend
bowed and waggled at me. Kelly thoughtfully supplied the dialogue.
“Here comes Peter Cottontail, fucking down the bunny trail!” She
grabbed a firm hold on the base, rubbing me gently with her thumb,
and then abruptly bit off one of the ears.
I tried to jump back, but she had me pinned.
“Agh! Damn, woman, take it easy!”
Saliva and melted chocolate was running down
her face, across her breasts and all over my crotch. “No,” she said
happily, and she bit off the other ear. I reached down to grab her
head and rescue my rabbit but she quickly took my entire “head”
into her mouth and moved her hand up and down to match her motions.
I magnanimously decided to let her continue. The noises I was
trying not to make were just to reassure her of her abilities,
honest. The feeling was incredible; as the chocolate crumbled and
melted inside her mouth she moved faster and faster, letting the
candy drip down and cover her hands.
After far too short a time she stood up and
leaned over me. Most of the bunny was gone now, but there was a
huge amount of melted chocolate smeared all over her upper body and
a wild gleam in her eyes. I grabbed hold of her hips as she turned
away from me and, without any hesitation, sat down hard on my
candy-coated dick. My scream burst against my clenched teeth and I
could feel her swallowing her own gasps as she sank to the hilt and
her tight ass pressed hard against my lap. I think she had planned
to guide the ride, but things were moving too fast and I had my own
ideas anyway. Wrapping my fingers around her bountiful breasts,
rubbing gooey chocolate over and around her nipples, I leaned
forward and whispered into her ear, “Hippity hoppity.” Then I
gripped her hips and started jackhammering, figuring if I wasn't
going to last any longer there was no reason she should.
Neither one of us did. We both bounced
wildly on the couch, trying desperately to drive me farther and
farther into her, and we had just found the right cadence and I
felt that incredible feeling of hot liquid fire rushing from my
balls and I could tell that she was desperately straining to wait
for me when we heard the kids' bedroom door open.
Many things happened simultaneously: Kelly
stood up, my dick fwapped into my stomach again (leaving a phallic
chocolate silhouette this time), I grabbed our clothes, Kelly threw
some cushions over our new milk chocolate wet spot, and we both
dashed for the downstairs bathroom even as the kids came bounding
down the stairs. It was a tie, and we closed the bathroom door just
as the first cries of greedy happiness began.
Kelly and I stood in the bathroom, shaking
with laughter and need and adrenaline. She was leaning against the
door with me right behind her so we could both listen, but we
weren't really paying much attention. Kelly was squeezing her
thighs together over and over and I think my dick was humming, we
were still so close. She looked up at me, eyes wide and pleading,
then turned quickly and leaned towards the sink as I sank right
into the heat of her climax. Her sweet gooiness gripped me with
rhythmic pulses and my furious spurting followed right after,
followed by a few minutes of breathless panting and giggling and a
good twenty minutes of two grownups trying to silently wash
themselves in a bathroom sink.
Hippity hoppity.
-------------------------
Are You and
Your Genitals Sexually Compatible?
It's important to know. Can you trust your
squishy bits to always have your best interests at heart? Are you
set for the long haul together?
It's a proven medical fact that better than
three-quarters of humanity possesses genitals, and not everyone
gets along with theirs. For every person that has a healthy and
mutually satisfactory relationship with the contents of their
drawers, there are ten people locked in a life-or-death struggle
for day-by-day supremacy that affects every part of their lives
(National Census, 1993). Sure, they look normal, walking along with
a slight hunch, but you never know when a surprise coup from down
below will strike and cause them to run screaming along the street,
clutching at themselves and inadvertently raping entire youth
groups.
How well do you get along with your own
package? Take this handy quiz and find out!
How long have you and your genitals been
together?
a. We discovered each other in the crib
b. I've seen them hanging around here and
there, but we really got to know each other as teenagers
c. Since high school, but we really only see
each other at parties
d. I am still not entirely sure where they
are, exactly
Do you like the same people that your
genitals like?
a. I don't know anybody that my genitals
don't like, not for long
b. Usually, my parts have pretty good
taste
c. No, for some reason my genitals do not
seem interested in anybody that would, say, qualify for a home
loan
d. I have woken up next to things that would
be kicked out of a swamp
Are your genitals considerate of your true
feelings?
a. I don't believe I've ever had any true
feelings that didn't directly involve my genitals
b. Most times, although they have
interrupted the occasional business meeting
c. Rarely, sometimes they act as if I'm not
even here
d. I exist solely as the delivery and
transport system for my genitalia
What best describes your genitals'
relationship to you?
a. best friend
b. rambunctious but cuddly pet
c. global positioning system
d. relentless arch-enemy
What best describes your relationship to
your genitals?
a. best friend/lover
b. parent/advisor
c. keeper/wrangler
d. slave/washcloth
When you argue with your genitals, who
wins?
a. We act as one in all things, whether it's
sex, economics or even what dish soap to buy
b. I usually have the upper hand
c. They do, but only after a long screaming
match that often results in broken crockery and police
intervention
d. I was overpowered by my genitals at a
young age, branded and forced to ever do their bidding
What about affection? Do you kiss or caress
your genitals?
a. Only when we both want to — we respect
each other's needs
b. Yes, but no tongues
c. Only when I want sex
d. To the point where I am experiencing
difficulty finishing this quiz
Do you have pet names for your
genitals?
a. Yes, something descriptive involving size
or power, i.e. “The Crowd Pleaser” or “The Sperminator”
b. Yes, something cutesy, i. e. “Little
Brian” or “Miss Muffy”
c. No, we're not on speaking terms
d. Yes, something descriptive involving our
relationship, i.e. “Little One-Eyed Bastard” or “That Goddamn
Sin-Hole”
Do you mesh well in your basic goals in
life?
a. Yes, we both have an appreciation for
life and its beauties
b. Yes, although some of my own goals aren't
quite as sticky
c. No, if left to my own devices my goal
would definitely not be to prong the waitress with the big boobs
and hairy knuckles, or to go home with the aluminum siding salesman
with the missing ear
d. All my youthful dreams and aspirations
have been subsumed in the ravenous appetites of my loins
Do your genitals ever embarrass or
humiliate you in public?
a. No, we work as a well-oiled team, oftimes
literally
b. No, I learned long ago to unconditionally
support anything they do to avoid looking ineffectual
c. Yes, especially during school functions
and medical examinations
d. Yes, I find that I could only attract
more attention to my groin if I were to hang a live wombat around
my waist, on fire.
Do your genitals ever prevent you from
doing the things you'd like to do?
a. I don't understand the question
b. No, what they do is natural and normal
and I carry them proudly, like a new parent
c. No, I just pointedly ignore them the way
you would an incontinent dog
d. Yes, I would have liked to be able to go
back to St. Peter's someday, but it's too late for that now
You and your genitals are at a party. Are
they most likely to:
a. hang out by the punchbowl, chatting it up
with whoever comes by
b. keep to themselves, avoiding
conversation, possibly napping
c. make a spectacle of themselves, taking
center stage, wearing bizarre attire, leading a chorus of
“Fat-Bottomed Girls,” and so forth
d. start a brawl, take hostages, and finally
get subdued by NATO anti-terrorist specialists with really good
aim
Do your genitals ever get jealous of the
time you spend with others?
a. No, they're good at insinuating
themselves into any conversation, even with people they've just
met
b. No, they're very shy and even hide when I
try to introduce them
c. Yes, they have been known to actually
attack people that don't observe the posted signs
d. No, but I get murderously jealous of the
time they spend with others, the cheating scum
How would you characterize the sex life
between you and your genitals?
a. Equal, fulfilled, empowering
b. Happy, awkward, bumbling
c. Furtive, one-sided, possibly illegal,
certainly embarrassing
d. Grievous bodily harm
What sort of relationship do you see
between you and your genitals in 30 years?
a. Lovers, friends, compadres
b. Neighbors, nodding acquaintances, fellow
retirees
c. Predator and prey
d. Israel and Palestine
=================================
If you had mostly A answers:
Congratulations! You get along famously,
with virtually no conflicts at all! You're proud of your genitals
and you don't have any crippling ego problems that would force you
to belittle them to better your own ends. You probably take them
everywhere with you, no matter what the social occasion, and
proudly introduce them as your “better half”. I foresee a long,
happy life for you and your basket, full of hopes, dreams, and
little absorbent tissues.
If you had mostly B
answers
:
You have a comfortable relationship, you and
your crotch, with a few points of dispute here and there but
nothing really damaging. You might consider therapy, or perhaps
take a long vacation together, just the two of you. Spend some
romantic time in each other's company and I think you'll be
pleasantly surprised at how well you mesh. You'll feel like a
teenager again, if you can find one.