From
Act Like You Know
1
BARRIER
“A
lyx Cruz in the house. I'm a Beta Gamma Pi girlâget out the way! Alyx Cruz in the house. I'm a Beta Gamma Pi girlâI work it all day!” I chanted as I swayed my Latina hips from left to right at the National Convention's collegiate party for my beloved sorority, Beta Gamma Pi.
I wasn't trying to be funny or anything, but as a Mexican in a black sorority, it was not easy. I had it going on. The looks I got from men told me they wanted to get with me, and the looks I got from girls told me they wanted to be me, or they hated me because they weren't. It wasn't my fault that I didn't have kinky hair and that mine flowed more like a white girl's (though, truth be told, some days I wished mine was kinkyâmaybe then I'd fit in with everyone). Though they couldn't see it, I felt like a true sister from my core. But most Betas felt a Spanish girl shouldn't be in a predominantly African American sorority. If they'd take time to get to know me they'd see I was down for the same things they were. That's why I joined Beta Gamma Pi.
However, if another one of my sorors looked at me like they wanted to snatch my letters off my chest, they were gonna be in for warâa real fight. I hated that I'd had to transfer to a new school. I'd finally gotten people to like me for me back in Texas, but because I'd partied just a little too muchâokay, well, not just a little too much, a lot too muchâmy grades had suffered. And I'd put my scholarship in jeopardy. It was a minority scholarship, for which you had to maintain a 3.0 grade point average. I'd had to find another school that would take me with my 2.6 GPA, but I'd wished I could fix my mistakes. I hoped I wouldn't squander another great opportunity.
Now I was gonna have to start all over again winning friends at Western Smith College, my Tio Pablo's alma mater. My uncle helped my mom and me come to the United States from Mexico when I was three. He'd died when I was six, and it had been me and my mom ever since. My mom kept his framed degree in our house to inspire me to do more. So I applied to Western Smith and thankfully got enough financial aid to attend.
I couldn't get an education any other way. I had an opportunity, and I couldn't be crazy with it. I had to make sure I seized the chance. Here I was in America living the dream, and I had been about to waste all that. But now at Western Smith, I had a second chance.
But I couldn't focus on any of that, particularly when my favorite song came on. “Hey, get 'em up, get 'em up!” I started shouting as I turned, swiveled, sashayed, and bumped into that girl Malloy I'd met an hour before.
“I am so sorry,” I stuttered, taken aback at seeing Malloy with about fifteen of her buddies all staring hard at me like I'd stolen their men or something.
“Oh, no, you're fine. It's perfect anyway. I was just telling my chapter sorors here about you,” Malloy said in an overly sweet tone.
All these girls were from the Alpha chapter at Western Smith, where my sorority was founded. For some reason the girls in this chapter really thought they were better than everybody else. I could tell by the way they looked at me that they wished I'd go crawl under a rock. But I was on my way to their campus, and I already had my letters, so they needed to get over themselves. I looked at them, my hand on my hip and my eyes fully awake, like, “What ... what you gon' do?”
“
Okayyy,
let's have some hugs and some love,” Malloy said as she pushed me toward them.
The hugs I got from some of the girls made me want to throw up. They were so fake with it. When I got to the last few, I didn't even move to hug them. I wasn't a pledge. They could respect me or keep stepping. A few of the girls turned their noses up at me and walked off. I didn't care, because the sorors I pledged with would always be there for me when I needed sisterhood.
Then Malloy touched my shoulder and whispered, “Wait, please let me introduce you. Please.”
Something in her gesture got to me. I didn't know her from Adam, but she was genuine. I really appreciated her wanting to make the awkwardness dissolve.
“These are my line sisters Torian and Loni”âneither girl standing next to her said helloâ“our Chapter President, Hayden Grant; Bea, our First Vice President, and Sharon.” Those three didn't even put up our sign, which was customary when you met a new soror.
“Now y'all, for real, you're being rude,” Malloy scolded as she turned her back to me and tried to get her chapter sorors straight.
She didn't have to go defending me. I could hold my own. Shoot, they didn't want me in their chapter. Well, too doggone bad. I was coming, and what were they going to do about it?
But then, as I saw them continuously staring, I realized they were seriously feeling threatened. They didn't know me or my heart. I had to make them feel comfortable and let them know I wasn't trying to mess up their game. So I said, “Hey, I know it's tough accepting an outsider into your fold, but in my soul let me say I feel like family. I mean, I am your soror. I know a lot of Betas who aren't really excited about Spanish girls, but trust me, I don't want the spotlight, and my letters didn't come easyâI was hazed. I just want us to be cool, all right?”
Bea smiled and stuck out her hand for me to dap. When the others girls smiled as wellâI guess now they knew I wasn't paperâwe were cool.
“To me, more importantly than how I pledged is why I pledged,” I continued sincerely. “I plan to make a difference in the community and I love this organization. Just give me a chance.”
All the girls finally gave me a real embrace. I didn't know where we'd go from here, but I was excited to find out.