Hello World (12 page)

‘Well, you
know Blake, absolutely clueless when it comes to girls. But he’s just so
adorable,’ I coo, glaring up at Blake. Blake’s throat works nervously.

‘Funny, I
don’t remember you being
that
clueless,’ Charity says innocently, although the meaning is perfectly clear.
Give me strength.

Finally
finding his voice, Blake clears his throat.

‘I think I
heard Mum calling. I’ll see you later, Charity,’ he says hurriedly before
steering me in a direction far, far away from the girl.

I manage
to stay silent until we are in the hallway and out of view.

‘What the
hell?’ I snap, folding my arms.

‘I.. er…’
Blake stutters guiltily, running a hand through his hair. His usual cocky
confidence is definitely down the drain.

‘Nice
going man, try to make the girl you used to bang jealous by making her think
you’re banging someone else,’ Jay appears cheerily, slapping his brother on the
back. There have been a number of times now when I’ve thought Jay seems older
than Blake, now being one of those times.

‘Shut up,’
Blake groans. ‘Why the hell is she here? You said she wasn’t coming.’

‘I say a
lot of things,’ Jay winks, just managing to dodge when Blake takes a swing at
him.

‘So hang
on,’ I interrupt. ‘You’re ex,
Charity
,
thinks I’m you’re new girlfriend?’

‘Possibly,’
Blake says, trying to act nonchalant. ‘That wasn’t a Christmas present you were
expecting huh?’

I just
shake my head.

‘Please,
it’s just for a few hours,’ he pleads. He looks so desperate it’s almost
adorable. Almost.

I feel
like a pawn in a corny rom-com.

‘Her name
is
Charity
?’ I ask with disbelief,
shaking my head. I take one last look at Blake. He has avoided the shirt and
tie and is in a dark blue polo shirt that shows off his arm and chest muscles
particularly well. I could do worse. ‘Fine, just for a few hours. But let it be
known, you are a sad, pathetic, wimp of a man.’

‘Understood,’
Blake winks, his confidence starting to return.

I can’t
believe this. Beside us, Jay stands smugly as if he has planned for this
disaster to happen all along.

‘Neve,’
Blake smirks, wrapping an arm around me. ‘Will you be my Christmas day
girlfriend?’

The lunch
itself is perfect.

I’m used
to having fancy and expensive food when I’m at my Grandma’s but this trumps
hers completely.

After
elegantly trying to eat as much of the roast as I can, I just sort of mill
around, attached at the hip to Blake.

Unfortunately,
because we’re acting up for Charity, other people start asking questions.

‘Ah, I see
you finally got yourself a girl, my boy,’ one of Blake’s uncles congratulates,
a glass of wine, not his first, in his hand. Then he turns to Jay. ‘Figured he
was going through a dry patch, I bet she’s a great-’

‘It’s
great to see you again, Uncle Freddrick!’ Blake interrupts, abruptly pushing me
and Jay away from Uncle Freddo, his cheeks tinting. That’s the last I see of
Uncle Fred during the party.

I don’t
see Al though, and figure he must be at home with their sick aunt.

Joy
watches with quiet amusement, conspiring with Jay at times when Blake and I are
trapped in the company of family, trying to blab our way through our
“relationship.” I don’t think she is completely aware of why this is happening,
but I’m sure she knows it’s a cover up of some sort.

‘It’s been
about a month now.’

‘Just a
few weeks, we’re still testing the waters.’

‘We bumped
into each other at Al’s coffee shop.’

‘She spilt
coffee on me and then we just started talking.’

‘A friend
introduced us.’

‘I’d known
she’d had a crush on me for ages, I couldn’t say no.’

‘He asked
me out originally and I said no, but then the second time I thought something
could happen after all.’

On and on
the strange answers and made-up scenes go, each time different from the next
because we can’t remember what we had said before. Yet despite the awkwardness,
I can’t help but enjoy myself, and a number of the encounters have me crying
with laughter.

Blake soon
leaves me in search of more drinks and with no sign of Jay, I stand awkwardly
to the side, leaning against the wall and watching the rest of the party,
smiling to myself.

The party
certainly isn’t what I had expected it to be, and I’m more relaxed than I
thought I would be too.

My mind
threatens to bring back the crushing feeling Alex’s loss has left me with, but
I struggle to keep it at bay. Maybe, just for today, I will go without
punishing myself.

Out of the
corner of my eye I see a tall, blonde figure waltz towards me and decide that
the universe plans on punishing me anyway.

As Charity
approaches, I put my on fakest smile.

‘So, you
and Blake, huh?’ she asks though a thin-lipped smile.

‘Yep,’ I
say briefly, folding my arms and not bothering to look at her. She chuckles and
joins me in leaning against the wall. Some part of me is glad I’m not actually
Blake’s girlfriend; I can never compete with the stick that is standing next to
me.

‘So how
did you two meet? I didn’t realise Blake had started hanging out with minors.’
Although there is obvious venom there, she says it so sweetly and innocently
that I can almost imagine her words are dipped in sugar.

‘Actually,
I’m seventeen,’ I clarify tightly. ‘Nothing special, I met him through Jay,’ I
explain briefly, wondering to myself why I hadn’t just told the rest of the
party that in the first place.

She nods
and after a moment of silence it clicks that she’s waiting for me to ask her
the same thing. Oh, why can’t this conversation just be over already?

‘How about
you?’ I ask eventually, not much enthusiasm in my voice. She overlooks this.

‘Oh, we go
way back,’ she laughs. ‘Our parents are good friends, so naturally Blake and I
meet up whenever he comes into town. We are each other’s summer hooks ups, but
you don’t have to worry about that anymore. Unless of course, you don’t even
last until the summer, but I’m sure the odds are in your favour.’ She laughs
musically again which just sends more shivers down my spine. Luckily for me,
I’m not Blake’s girlfriend, so rather than turning into a savage ball of
jealousy I laugh it off with her, finding her desperate attempts amusing.

‘Yeah, I’m
sure if we ever did break up, you’ll be a great, meaningless shag to distract
him. Then again, I always thought Blake had too much class for hook-ups. Ah
well, if the waters are ever shaky I’ll let you know,’ I reply just as
innocently and sweetly. Charity’s fake grin drops into a deathly scowl but I
pretend not too notice. ‘And Omigod, we should totally hang out sometime. I
know! I’ll take you shopping and we can get you a dress that doesn’t make you
look so… washed out.’ I clap my hands in an excited gesture, milking my inner
bitch.

‘Sounds
fantastic,’ Charity replies through gritted teeth. Then she stalks off,
completely pushing past Jay who looks from me to her in astonishment. I just
smile.

‘What did
you do? She looks as if she’s about to claw someone’s eyes out.’ Jay raises an
eyebrow.

I shrug.
‘I think I just reduced Blake’s chances of getting laid anytime soon.’

‘I don’t
even want to know,’ he laughs. ‘Come on, I’ve had enough of the party scene.
How about I give you your Christmas present before Miss Heels claws
your
eyes out?’

‘Sounds
like a plan,’ I smirk, following him out of the lounge. He leads me up the
stairs and I recognise the normal route to the attic. Just before I can put my
hand on the ladder though, he stops me.

‘Close
your eyes,’ he instructs. I raise an eyebrow.

‘You
aren’t going to rugby tackle or abduct me are you?’

‘Red, play
nice.’

‘Fine.’ I
do as I’m told and Jay guides me up the ladder and into the attic space. After
following me up, Jay finally announces that I can open them again.

My mouth
drops open and for a moment I think I forget how to breathe or talk so I just
walk further into the space, spinning on my heels to take it all in.

All of the
usual furniture has been pushed and stacked at the sides, allowing for a bigger
space in the middle which has currently been adorned with several bright picnic
blankets and bowls of various foods that are laid out in a circle.

Lengths of
fairy lights cast warm glows across the room, and several pieces of string have
been hung from the ceiling in a sort of circle mirroring the pattern of food on
the ground. Attached to the strings is a range of photos depicting different
landmarks from various countries.

‘I
promised I’d show you the world, and since I’m not
that
rich, I figured this would be an okay substitute,’ he says
almost sheepishly, moving into the centre of the food and sitting down. In a
daze, I join him. ‘Oh, I got you this as well,’ he announces, pulling out a
tiny box.

Even more
bewildered, I slowly open the tiny box and let out a half-laugh, half-gasp.
Sitting in a bed of velvet was the gold carousel necklace I had fallen in love
with when we had visited Hunstanton.

Not a
copy, not something similar. The exact same necklace.

‘How?’ I
whisper, staring at it with disbelief. Jay chuckles, green eyes lighting up.

‘When I
went in search of dinner I passed the vendor and managed to catch him as he was
packing away. Neat, huh?’

‘It’s
beautiful,’ I say softly, pulling the necklace out of the box, just taking it
in, watching the way the metal reflects off the fairy lights. Then I take
another look around the room.

‘Jay, this
is amazing. You really shouldn’t have…’ I trail off, still clutching the
necklace. Jay grins.

‘Don’t
worry about it, besides, I owe you.’

I stare at
him in astonishment.

‘You owe
me
?’ I laugh disbelievingly.

‘More than
you realise,’ he says softly, so quietly I almost don’t hear it. ‘I can’t say
I’ve ever had a friend like you. You really don’t realise how special you are,
Neve. You should start.’

I shake my
head, smiling.

‘Thank
you,’ I say shakily. ‘Thank you for everything. For taking me on that road
trip, for being my friend, for
this
,’
I laugh, indicating to around the room.

Thank you for pulling me off that bridge.

I feel my
eyes start to well up and Jay makes a face.

‘Oh God,
you aren’t gunna start crying are you?’ he ask wearily.

‘Shut up,’
I sniff, shoving him before we both burst into laughter. Then my attention turns
to the food.

Jay has
laid out different tasters of food from each of the different countries,
although they are only small portions seeing as we have already eaten a full
meal. With most it is pretty simple, fried rice from China, fancy bread from
France, Swiss chocolate from Switzerland, but he has been a bit more inventive
for some of the others. For Antarctica for example, there is a tub of ice-cubes
and we end up seeing who can fit the most ice-cubes in their mouth. Jay wins.

After
about an hour or so we are well and truly full and bits of food are scattered
across the floor from where we have occasionally taken it upon ourselves to
throw food at each other.

After
about an hour or so, Blake pokes his head up through the hatch, looking at the
two of us with amusement.

‘I don’t
even want to know,’ Blake chuckles, shaking his head at the mess. ‘Anyway, I
need to steal my girlfriend back, or at least grant me refuge. Charity keeps
following me everywhere.’

‘I think
Mum will probably kill us if we stay up here any longer anyway,’ Jay laughs,
glancing at his watch as if just realising the time. ‘I guess the girlfriend
decoy worked then.’

‘She’s
jealous alright,’ I laugh, thinking back to our earlier conversation.

‘Nice,’
the boys chime, fist-bumping. I roll my eyes.

We rejoin
the party and mill around for a bit longer before Joy puts on a DVD for the
younger kids and the three of us end up baby sitting them, lounging around on
the sofas as
The Incredibles
play.

For the
sake of the charade, I end up cuddling up against Blake, the action feeling
surprisingly natural until halfway through the film when tiredness overcomes me
and I end up resting my head on his lap with my eyes shut while he plays
absently with my hair.

Soon
afterwards, the party starts to disperse and darkness falls.

On the
second floor of the Ellsworth’s house is a large window at the end of the hall
that looks out at the front of the house. On my way back from the bathroom, I
find myself staring out of it at the night sky.

The sky
seems so far away, yet close enough to touch, which is, I realise, how I feel a
lot about Alex. I can picture him so vividly, he’s just in my reach, and then I
would remember he’s no long here and my hand would reach out to grab nothing.

No matter
what I do, everything comes back to him.

‘Red?’ I
hear Jay ask, although I don’t move at first.

Then I
turn around to face the boy who has been so desperate to show me the world that
he has transformed a whole room. No one has ever done anything like that for me
before.

‘Jay, can
we go somewhere?’ I ask quietly. I hate the way my mood has suddenly dropped,
but I also know I have to be somewhere. Strangely, I don’t want to go on my
own.

Or maybe I
just want Jay to come with me.

I have
been here so many times alone that having someone standing beside me is
strange. Never before have I wanted someone with me, nor has anyone ever wanted
to come, or at least that’s always how I’ve figured it to be.

Yet I’ve
brought Jay here, and I’m not sure why.

It’s like
I’m showing him another part of me, a part that I have never shown to anyone.
Not even Charlie knows how often I come here.

Yet even
after that damn text that has been sent around the school, I
need
to bring him here, to show him this
place. I need to prove to myself that I can trust him, and I want to show him
that I trust him too, despite what I’ve said.

I don’t
quite know what’s spurred on these emotions, but when we were in the attic,
something had clicked. I
knew
I could
trust him from that moment; I just need to prove it to myself.

The cold
bites at me and I tug my coat tighter around me. Jay stands to my right, a
sombre look on his face. Then he wraps an arm around my shoulders and squeezes
them tightly.

‘I haven’t
brought anyone here before,’ I muse quietly. ‘That night on the bridge, this is
where I had just come from.’

Jay
absently nods, his eyes never wavering from the gravestone in front of us.

Alex Mason
.

‘This is
my first Christmas without him. It’s funny you know, I always thought that at
some point it would get easier, that one day I would wake up and everything
would magically be better again,’ I sigh. Then I turn and look Jay, trying to
get my words right. ‘But, I think… since you and Blake have arrived, things
have become more… bearable. Old wounds are finally starting to heal, and that’s
down to you guys. You guys are the best Christmas present I could ever wish
for…’ And then I trail off, catching my words on a sob. Silently, Jay pulls me
into a hug and holds me there like he has done so many times since I’ve known
him.