His Ever After (Love Square) (19 page)

Commence operation baby making!

***

Jacob

My stomach drops to the floor. I can’t believe the lies and scheming that are coming off the page. She was never fucking pregnant. This
cannot
be happening. I couldn’t have read that right. Everything couldn’t have been a lie. I refuse to believe I was gullible enough to fall for this much shit. I scan the entry again, hoping that the words will have changed.

Commence operation baby making.

Oh dear God! There were so many times that we had sex without any condoms after she told me she was pregnant. So many fucking times. She could have easily succeeded into trapping me worse than she already did. And then the realization that if she wasn’t pregnant, that there was no miscarriage dawns on me. No. Fuck, fuck, motherfucking fuck!

I didn’t kill my baby… It’s just too much for me to process right now.

I throw my coffee mug against the wall and watch it shatter. Next goes the journal across the room. I run my hands and tug at my hair in frustration. My foot kicks the coffee table, making it slide across the floor. Nothing is alleviating the anger pumping thickly through my veins. The desire to hurt someone is strong. The need to avenge the injustice dealt to me is all too consuming.

How the fuck did I let this shit happen? If ever there was a time that I would crave a drink, it is right now.

I didn’t kill my baby.

It echoes over and over in my head. I can’t quite figure out how I feel knowing this. I should be elated. I should be jumping for fucking joy. Instead something hard and painful is settling in my chest. Something that is threatening to squeeze the life right out of me.

I sit motionless, willing my body to stay still. Willing my mind to calm and act rationally. My heart is beating erratically. It feels like it is going to beat its way out of my chest at any moment. I can feel sweat forming on my brow and my hands. Even my damned feet are starting to sweat. I need to steady myself and finish reading this garbage. I can’t allow myself to react hastily and in anger. I won’t let them win again. Never again.

***

Journal Entry
September 23

I really need to catch you up on what’s been happening. I’ve been so busy. Between cases at work, dealing with Jeffery’s demands and dealing with the Jacob and Sam mess, I haven’t had time to write. I find writing everything down that’s happened is therapeutic, so I need to make a better effort to do so in the future.

Let’s start with work. Being a detective is a lot more demanding than I imagined. I’m good at my job. I’m just not sure I can handle the stress that comes with it. I’m hoping it gets easier once things settle down in the other aspects of my life. Oh and Jacob stepped down as a detective. I’m trying not to take it personally, but how can I not? It’s almost as if he doesn’t want to work with me. When I asked him about it, he said I was being irrational. He acted like I was crazy. I am
not
crazy. I’m sick of people saying that.

Which leads me to Jeffery. He is demanding that I leave Jacob and move home.
Not
going
to
happen
.
My parents hate Jacob. Why you ask? Because I like him. God forbid they approve of anything that makes me happy. They also figured out that I haven’t been taking my medication. I tried to explain that I don’t need it, but they won’t listen. They never listen to anything I say. Jeffery said that if I don’t move home and do as he says that he’ll take my job away. In case you forgot, let me remind you that dear, old daddy called in a few favors to get me my job. Due to my diagnosis as being bipolar, I wasn’t having any luck getting into the precincts that I was testing and interviewing for. I didn’t ask him to do it, and he never does anything without a reason. That’s why I didn’t want him to do it, but he insisted I take his help. He said it was a perk of being his daughter. I’m not sure I agree, and as of late I’ve learned the only reason he helped was, so he could use it as leverage to keep me under his thumb. Ever since I turned twenty-five and gained full access to my trust fund, we’ve been going through this power struggle. I wish he would just let me go.

Now on to the real meat and potatoes of what I have to tell you. I haven’t been able to get pregnant. My heart is crushed just thinking about it. I desperately wanted to have a child with Jacob. To know part of him was growing inside me, it’s so beautiful to think about. But it’s not necessary anymore. I guess for you to understand that statement, I need to rewind a bit and explain what’s going on.

Last we spoke, I told you that Sam came looking for Jacob. Well, after that, Jacob told her he was going to stay with me. He told me it wasn’t just because of the baby, and I’m choosing to believe that. I think he really does love me. He’s just too blinded by his bitch of an ex.

Sam wasn’t going out without a fight either. She really started to test my patience. One night Jacob was sleeping on the couch when he got a text message. I looked at his phone and saw it was from her, so I chose to open it.

We need to talk. I miss you, baby. I can’t stand the thought of you not being in my life.

Gag me! Jacob doesn’t need her! He has me! It was a pathetic attempt to get him back, and it wasn’t going to work, so I deleted it.

I checked his phone numerous times after that and never found another message. I was hoping she got the hint, until she called him when he was in the shower one morning. I waited until the voicemail indicator sounded before picking up his phone and listening to her message. Sam went on and on about missing him and wanting to be with him, trying to remind him how good they were together. She even went so far as to say he is seeing both of us.

How delusional could you possibly be? He isn’t seeing both of us. He’s seeing me, and you’re pursuing him. God, she infuriates me! It bothered me so much that I finally called her and told her off. I may have embellished the truth to her a bit, but whatever. He’s mine, and she needs to leave him alone.

Only, I didn’t scare her off. The bitch is determined. After our conversation, she threw herself at him. And seeing as how he’s a man and has a dick, he fell for it. Don’t even get me going on that one! And to make matters worse, I walked in on it! I was so fucking thrown by what I saw that I just rushed out of the apartment. I didn’t know what to do. Jacob was naked with that fucking slut! I felt my grip on the situation slipping. When Jacob didn’t come after me right away, I knew I needed to do something drastic. I needed to make him pay for what he did and the fact that he chose her over me.

That’s when I concocted the story of my miscarriage. It was clever of me to come up with that idea. Not only do I not have to explain the absence of a child, but now Jacob believes it is his fault that I lost the baby. I know it sounds callous of me to put him through that, but he’s put me through the wringer with this whole nonsense. Besides it solidifies my hold on him. He won’t stray from me again, because every time he is tempted to, he’ll think about what happened the last time he did.

***

Journal Entry
October 18

I received word from Aiden today that he and Samantha are back together and happily moving on from the affair.
Victory
is
mine
!

P.S. I even told him he could keep the rest of his money.

***

Journal Entry
December 20

You will not believe who we ran into at the mall today. Samantha! No wait… a very pregnant Samantha!

I saw red when I saw her. I thought that bitch was carrying Jacob’s baby. I couldn’t have been more relieved when she said it was her husbands. I panicked thinking about how hard it would be to keep Jacob with me if she was having his child. Even if he didn’t leave me right away, I know he would eventually. And I’m just too tired these days to fight back the way I would need to. That stress I talked to you about isn’t going away, it’s getting worse. I’ll discuss that later, though. I need to finish telling you about my encounter with that bitch, who, by the way, looked way too good for a pregnant woman. Ugh!

Anyways, I was elated to be able to rub her nose in the fact that Jacob proposed to me on Thanksgiving. His whole family was there, which made it special. He is really close with them, so the fact that he chose to propose in front of them means he really cares about me. Just thinking about it makes me feel giddy and alive inside. I feel like running through the streets, shouting for anyone to hear that Jacob is mine, and he loves me! I refuse to let the fact that I had to tell him that I wanted to get married, ruin the joy of it. Men aren’t the smartest creatures. They need to be led to do the right thing. That’s all.

Christmas is around the corner and then New Years. I’m excited to know that all this drama with Jacob and Sam will be behind us, and we’ll be starting the year on a clean slate! After our vacation in St. Barths in January, I’m going to convince him that we should move in together. It may have been a rough road, but I’m finally going to have my happily ever after!

Chapter Thirteen

I clutch the phone in my hands. My palms are sweaty and the adrenaline coursing through my body has me pacing.

This is it.

This is the moment that I confront the bastard and tell him “Game on!” He thought that he could fuck with my life… well he has another thing coming. I might be a little late to the game, but I’m the player to beat. The odds are against him at this point. When Sam finds out what a manipulative bastard she is married to, I can’t see her wanting to stay with him.

Of course, I’m not sure she’ll want to be with me either. I’ll worry about that later though. First step is dealing with Aiden.

“McGee, Smith, Rodman & Associates. Penny speaking. How may I help you?” A friendly sounding woman answers the phone, just as I’m ready to hang up. There’s nothing I hate more than auto attendants.

“Aiden Parker, please.”

“I’m sorry. Mr. Parker is unavailable right now. Can I take a message for you?” Not exactly what I expected, but I’m not about to leave a fucking message. I turn up the charm in my voice, knowing it usually works on the “Pennys” of the world.

“It’s extremely important I speak with him. Will you please tell him that Jacob Matthews is on the phone? He’ll want to talk to me.” Or at least I expect he’ll want to talk to me. If he knows what’s best for him, he will anyway. And if he doesn’t, I’ll march my ass down there and embarrass the fucker. I’m sure his coworkers would love to hear what Mr. Parker has been up to lately. How he has to lie and scheme in order to keep his wife.

“One moment, sir,” she says before placing me on hold. I smile at the soft tone of her voice, knowing my charm hasn’t failed me.

I resume pacing and think about all the fucked up things I’ve learned over the last couple weeks. The fact that Brooke was paid to take me from Sam still pisses me off so much that I can’t see straight. How I could allow myself to be so manipulated, I’ll never know. Sure she showed signs of being unstable, but I never would have pegged Brooke as being a calculating and conniving bitch.

Penny’s voice breaks me from my thoughts. “Mr. Matthews? Mr. Parker will speak to you now. Please hold.”

The phone rings twice before he picks up. “Parker,” he says sharply into the phone.

“We need to talk. Meet me at Murphy’s tonight at seven.” My tone leaves little room for negotiation. I mean business.

“I don’t know what you think we have to talk about, but I’ll be home with
my
wife and daughter tonight.” I can hear the smugness in his voice, and it pisses me off even more. He might think he’s at the advantage, but he’s got another thing coming.

“You know
exactly
what we need to talk about, and unless you want my next call to be to your wife, I suggest you do as I say.”

There’s a long pause. He’s most likely trying to figure out how I know and how he can finagle his way out of this. Unfortunately, for him, there is no way for him to get out of this one.

“Fine. I’ll be at Murphy’s at seven. But if I find out you so much as breathe in Sam’s direction, I’ll make sure you live to regret it,” he attempts to scare me with his idle threats.

“I’m not worried about you or your threats. Just be there,” I say before hanging up the phone.

I set my phone down on the table and head to the bathroom. I strip out of my worn sweatpants and t-shirt before reaching into the shower to start the water. Once it’s good and hot, I step in and let the spray wash over me. The hot water is relieving my tension, but my mind is spinning with the possibilities of how this meeting with Aiden will go down. Even though I have him by the balls on this one, I don’t think he’ll be at all gracious with my demands. Given the fact that they have a child, he just isn’t going to walk away from Sam without a fight. Look how dirty he fought when it was just her that he stood to lose.

I’m not an idiot. I know Sam has a decision in the matter, which is why I’m going to force his hand. The last thing I want to do is cause her anymore pain, but this isn’t my doing. It’s his. You can’t lie and cheat your way into someone’s heart and not expect to face the consequences once you’re caught.

I turn the water off and wrap a towel around my waist. I walk over to the sink and wipe away the condensation on the mirror with my hand. The man staring back at me looks pathetic. My eyes have dark circles under them, and my face is scruffy with an uneven beard. The last two months have been a roller coaster ride and I’ve definitely let myself go.

I reach for the shaving cream and razor. It’s time to bring myself out of the darkness and guilt that has consumed me. I can’t continue to feel sorry for myself. I need to take control of my life and make things right again. Tomorrow I’ll start back at the gym and begin the necessary steps for getting reinstated at the department.