Hope Over Fear (Over #1) (21 page)

“Don’t you make fun of Big Orange, Sara. This is a 1975 Ford pickup. As if that wasn’t already the shit, this baby has a Corvette engine under the hood. Do you believe that?”

Cain revs the engine a few times and raises his eyebrows, willing me to be impressed. Ignoring him and his asinine truck, I pet the sweet puppy that is bouncing up and down on Cain’s lap begging for some attention.

“And who is this sweet little guy? You are just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”

“This is Mr. Biscuit. Say hi, Mr. Biscuit.” At Cain’s request, Mr. Biscuit lets out a loud bark.

I giggle at his response and continue to rub behind his ears. “I’ve got to say, Cain, I didn’t figure you for a Jack Russell Terrier kind of guy. You seem more like a German Shepard, Bull Mastiff, St. Bernard type of dog owner.”

“Mr. Biscuit runs circles around all those big dogs. And he’s scrappy; I like scrappy dogs. I don’t need a big dog to prove my manhood.” Cain gives me a suggestive wink.

“Right, because Big Orange makes the manhood statement for you, right?”

“Keep it up, girl. You don’t want to dance with me. I tease relentlessly, and I take no prisoners. Just ask Cece.”

“Cece?”

“My girl Celia. Quit changin’ the subject. I want to hear about the big date. How were the bluffs? Did Adam help you work out the kinks? And you know what I mean …”

“The bluffs were beautiful, Cain. As for the kinks, I’m not touching that one. I’ll just say that I had a wonderful time. How’s that?”

“That’s not the agreement, girl. I’m supposed to get the dirty details. If I don’t get to help you figure out your kink, I should at least get to hear about it. Am I right, or am I right?”

“Okay Cain, I would love to tell you, in great detail, all about Adam’s—”

Cain quickly interrupted me by pressing his index finger to my lips. “Stop right there. I don’t want to hear one word about Adam’s junk. You’re fucking up my fantasy. Maybe I don’t want you to share after all.”

I shake my head and chuckle softly. “I had a feeling you’d say that. Anyway, let me get back to my run.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon, Sara. I’m on my way to Cece’s to measure for new kitchen cabinets.” Cain flashes me a huge smile.

“Wow, that’s really thoughtful of you.”

“Well, since I’m her landlord, there’s something in it for me, too. Increasing property value, and all that happy horse shit. Say bye, Mr. Biscuit.” And with that, Mr. Biscuit shoots me a bark, Cain tosses back a parting wave, and I take off to finish my run.

As I round the corner onto my street, I notice I have visitors on my porch. It seems Alex and Marlo have made themselves at home on my porch swing. If I’m being honest, I’m surprised I made it out the door for a run without Marlo catching me. My girls are about to make the Spanish Inquisition look like a cakewalk.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Laverne and Shirley. To what do I owe this pleasure?” I chuckle softly as I stretch my calves and hamstrings. I know what they want, but what’s the harm in teasing them a bit?

“Pleasure, huh? That’s exactly what we’re here to discuss, Sara. I imagine last night was
pleasurable
for you since I didn’t see Adam’s truck leaving until late this morning. I fully expect for you to dish on every
pleasurable
detail,” Marlo demands, crossing her arms over her chest and raising one eyebrow with a stern look on her face.

“Well, actually, I’m just here to see if you had a good time. I mean, I won’t scoff at a little play-by-play of the high points of the date, but I have no intention of beating it out of you like Marlo here.” Alex giggles and pokes Marlo good-naturedly in the arm, setting her off balance. Marlo pouts at Alex and pulls her up from the swing and toward the front door.

“Oh hush, Alex, you always take her side!”

Marlo and Alex follow me through the front door and take their posts on my couch. Although I feign irritation at their intrusion, I secretly love that they care enough to check on me. Lord knows they’ve listened to their fair share of my self-doubt and guilt over the past year. They deserve to hear about the good times, too.

“It’s so funny that y’all are asking me about my date. I just ran into Cain on my run, and he was asking the same thing. It seems like Adam and I are on everyone’s minds this morning.”

Alex perked up and threw her hands in the air. “Oh, I saw Cain yesterday at the golf course. We ended up playing the back nine together. He’s a trip!”

“Really? I didn’t know he played golf. You might have another partner to add to your list, huh?” I’m glad that Alex and Cain have found some common ground. She’s always looking for a partner, and the more she has, the less of a chance that she’ll ask me. How anyone can hit the damn ball is beyond me. Who knows, maybe Alex and Cain may really hit it off. Stranger things have happened.

“Yeah, I think so. We exchanged numbers, so we’ll see.”

“Enough of the idle chit chat, you two. I want the deets! Now!” Marlo crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at me.

So I tell them. I tell them about the bluffs, the picnic, and the beautiful sunset. I tell them about The Courtyard, Voodoo Fire, and Adam’s guitar playing and singing skills. I tell them about the tattoo that Adam drew on my arm and the beautiful meaning behind it. When I finish, I look closely at both of my friends. Alex has a sweet, dreamy look on her face. Marlo is wearing an impatient scowl as she rolls her hands at me.

“And … don’t think you’re stopping there, girl. It was just gettin’ good!”

“Marlo, you are such a pervert!” I shake my head and laugh at my persistent friend. “I’m not giving you a blow-by-blow. But I will say that it was the most amazing night I’ve ever had. When he kisses me, I feel it right down to my toes. When he looks at me, I feel confident, beautiful, and completely uninhibited. And when he touches me, holy hell, when he touches me, my whole body is on fire. I didn’t know that it could be like that.”

“Oh, Sara, I’m so happy to hear it. First kisses and butterflies … nothing in the world can compare to that feeling. So I’m guessing Adam has his ‘knocking’ technique down, huh?” Alex prompts much more subtly than Marlo.

“Alex, that boy has the passcode to my alarm system, okay. He knows the secret knock, the secret handshake, and he knows where I hide the extra key. I’m fairly certain he found a secret passageway that I didn’t even know was there.”

By the end of my diatribe, Marlo and Alex are doubled over in fits of laughter. I just shrug my shoulders at them because I’m not really joking. Sure, it’s a silly metaphor, but the meaning behind it is spot on.

“Well, I guess it goes without saying that our girl had an orgasm, don’t ya think, Alex?” Marlo gives us a toothy grin.

“Oh yeah!”

“Look, I don’t even know if you can call those orgasms. It was another level of pleasure I have never experienced before. I’m trying to think of the best way to explain what I mean.” I look to the ceiling and rack my brain to find the perfect words. “Okay, so orgasms I’ve had in the past were good. They were satisfying, sort of like a sneeze—a build up to a quick release. What happened last night and this morning were mind-blowing explosions with equally mind-blowing aftershocks.”

“Wait. Just wait. I have to interrupt you here because I’m in complete shock right now.” Marlo’s eyes widen as she leans forward, closer to me. “A sneeze? A fucking sneeze? Are you joking me right now? Mason gave you orgasms that you equate to a fucking sneeze? We won’t even talk about the Two-Pump Chump, because I’m fairly certain you didn’t even get a sneeze from that douchenozzle—maybe an awkward throat clearing, if you were lucky. I just … I don’t know how to respond to that. It makes me want to go kick Mason in his obviously useless dick!”

“Hold on, hold on, let’s not start bashing Mason. I don’t think that’s what this is about,” Alex says as she pats Marlo’s knee, always the peacemaker of the group.

“Aw, hell no! Don’t take up for him, Alex. My girl deserves better than a fucking sneeze!”

“Wait, let me explain! I don’t think Mason was the problem, okay?” I hear a loud snort of disbelief from Marlo, but I continue, “I just don’t think the chemistry between Mason and me was right. We were best friends, and that did not translate to sex in our case. God knows, we both tried, but it just wasn’t there. With Adam, I didn’t have to work on being attracted to him. It happened instantly, and it was as innate as breathing. Who knows where this thing will lead, but I’m excited to find out. And I think you guys would agree, I haven’t been excited about anything in a helluva long time.”

“Well, we’re happy to hear it, aren’t we, Marlo?” Alex nudges Marlo and gets a reluctant nod in return. “So did y’all talk through some things? Like where this may be headed, or ooh, what about the kids’ mom? Is she in the picture? Are they divorced?”

“We’re not sure where things will go, but we’ve decided to not date other people while we figure it out.” I see Alex and Marlo grinning and giddy with excitement, and it warms my heart that they are so happy for me. “As far as Lily and Gage’s mom goes, she is not in the picture. She’s not around and won’t be coming around.”

“What do you mean she won’t be coming around? Did she give up her parental rights or something? There’s definitely more to that story …” Marlo questions.

“Yes, there is more to the story, but it’s not my story to tell. Bottom line is Adam is a single parent. I hope you guys can respect that answer.” I know I’m being vague, but I simply refuse to break Adam’s trust. He gave me a piece of himself when he told me about Grace, and I won’t give that away.

“Yeah, we get it, Sara. You know I’m just fucking with you. I’m just glad to know that Adam lays it down. If he was a lame lay, then that would just mess with the equilibrium of the universe. You know what I’m sayin’?”

“Yeah, Marlo, I know what you’re saying.” I shake my head and laugh. “There is one thing that has been bugging me, though.”

“Our sweet, little Sara.” Alex cocks her head at Marlo. “You know she can’t jump into this without overanalyzing a little bit. It’s who she is. You’ve got two minutes to obsess, my friend, and then I’m shutting you down. Your time starts … now!”

“Very funny, Alex. Well, Adam has always kept girlfriends or dates away from Lily and Gage, and I totally respect that. What kind of father would he be if he let random women walk in and out of their lives, right? He plans to do the same thing with me, and I totally get it, but if I never see him with his children will I really
know
him? I mean, those kids are his life. And while it makes sense to not introduce me now, what about later down the road? Will I always be on the sidelines? His dirty little secret hidden in the shadows—”

“Okay, stop right now, before you work yourself into a panic attack, girl!” Marlo throws her hands up in the air and shakes her head at the ceiling like she’s praying for strength. “Enjoy the ride, Sara. Don’t worry where it’s headed this time. You have the uncanny ability to talk yourself out of anything. I seriously doubt that Adam would marry you and make you live in a separate house, okay? But you’ve known each other for a few weeks, so get your head out of a hypothetical future and enjoy the present. Because the present is oh-so-delicious.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right. What is wrong with me?” I drop my head in my hands, embarrassed about my little meltdown. Who does this shit? Me, that’s who.

“You’re a planner, babe. Nothin’ wrong with that. Quit beating yourself up.” Alex sits on the arm of the chair I’m sitting in and squeezes my shoulder reassuringly. “We’re here to remind you to quit analyzing and enjoy life. And I need you two to keep my head out of the clouds sometimes. And Lord knows what Marlo needs. Duct tape for that big mouth would be my best guess.”

“Fuck y’all! I’m fantastic.” Marlo glares at us, looking a little dejected.

“That you are, Marlo. That you are.”

“Nothing More” by Alternate Routes

“I’M SO NERVOUS. I just want everything to be perfect.” I shift nervously from side to side as I wring my hands.

“Sara, nothing about this situation is perfect. I promise you this meeting won’t be either. You’re setting yourself up to be disappointed if perfection is your goal.” Adam squeezes my shoulders as a sign of reassurance.

“Don’t you think she’s been through enough, though? I know it’s unrealistic, but I wish I could erase all the pain that the next few months will bring for Abby.”

Adam shakes his head at me. “It’s sweet that you want to protect her, but you know that’s not what she needs. She needs to feel this in order to heal. As much as it sucks, it’ll make her stronger. All any of us can do is be there to support her and help her cope with her choices.”

Before I can respond, I hear the jingle of the clinic door, and glance over to see a middle-aged couple standing in the lobby in their best Sunday dress. The man looks distinguished, wearing silver wire-rimmed glasses, and the woman appears modestly attractive with blonde hair swept back in a French braid and minimal makeup. Caroline squeezes my shoulder from behind as she makes her way to the front lobby.

“I’ll escort the Broussards back to the meeting room. You wait here for Abby, okay?”