Just Add Heat (14 page)

He placed
the pieces on the starting space and sat on the floor on one side of the coffee
table. I took the side by the couch and sat down opposite him. This was kind of
weird. A half hour ago I was on the cusp of getting lucky and now I was sitting
on the floor playing a board game. A girl really couldn’t count on anything.

“Do you
want to go first?” I thought it would be a nice touch to be charitable.

“Okay.” He
picked up the dice and it was game on. I was totally caught up, feeling
cutthroat and aggressive. It wasn’t the usual me at all. Unfortunately, I was
still way behind. Carter had the Death Star and a butt load of settlements
while I was stuck with the ghetto spaces. On my next turn I landed on one of his
cities, and it wiped me out.

“Suck
that!” His gloating got my ire up.

“Uhg, next
time we are playing Scrabble, I told you I wasn’t playing this with you
anymore. It’s no fun to always lose.” I tossed my money onto the board and
scooted up off the floor and onto the couch. Yeah, I know I’m a bad sport.

Carter was
up and at my side in an instant. “See Juss, it’s all coming back.” He plopped
down next to me and pulled me into a hug. It took me a moment to understand
what he meant.

“The game. We’ve played the
game before.” I couldn’t actually remember playing Monopoly with Carter, but I
could remember being disgruntled. That was something anyway. I let him hug me
even though it was causing my loins to stir afresh. Who was I to turn down
spontaneous affection from a hot guy?

My stomach
growled and I looked at the clock. I couldn’t believe it was already after
five. We must have been playing for hours. I pulled back and looked at Carter’s
face. I needed to eat something so that I could keep my hands and mouth occupied.
It wasn’t safe to leave me to my own devices just yet. Maybe there was
something to the whole smoking thing.

“So you
want asparagus risotto, right?”

“Yep. Does
that still sound good to you?”

“Sure. I love it.” He
made no move to get up so I just sat there, too. I was feeling pretty relaxed,
not tongue-tied or anything. It was kind of a big deal for me. I leaned back
onto the arm of the couch. I could see myself lounging around the house with
Carter. I knew him well enough to not have to try too hard. I still had that
little feeling niggling inside me that there was something I was blocking, but
it was being drowned out by other, better feelings. Maybe if I quit fighting my
natural instincts, everything would snap back into place.

“Justine,
I love you. I just want you to know that.” He said the words as nonchalantly as
if he were asking me to pass him the remote. He didn’t make any move to touch
me and I was unsure of what to say to him. My mind wasn’t trying to fight his
words like before. I knew now that he did love me, and after my revelation on
the sidewalk this morning, I knew I loved him even if I couldn’t feel it,
presently. A part of me wanted to say it back, just so he could feel better,
but I realized it wouldn’t be right. What could I do? I had a very limited
skill set when it came to these situations. Things were complicated.

I was
suddenly struck with inspiration. “Carter, I’ve been having all these memories
today and they all center around you. Do you think maybe you could just lean over
here and kiss me or something?” The way I said it made it sound stupid. “I
mean, maybe kissing you would help me to remember more. You know?” I couldn’t
look at him when I asked him to kiss me so I looked at his crotch. After a
second I noticed he hadn’t answered me so I looked into his face.

He wasn’t
looking at me. Well, he was looking at me but not my face. He was staring at my
boobs. “Carter, did you hear me?” He was looking at my boobs and he wasn’t even
a pervert, not that I knew of anyway.

He didn’t
answer me but he did lean over from his cushion and put his hands on both sides
of my face. I took a deep breath because I knew he was about to kiss me and I
didn’t want to interrupt things by having to gasp for air. His lips touched
mine so lightly I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it at first. He pressed in a
little harder and I knew it was real. My heart started beating hard again, just
like it had the first time.

“I love you.” He
whispered it when he changed position and I couldn’t help it, my legs parted on
their own. “I love you so much.” Was he trying to kill me? My own hands went up
to his arms and I grabbed on. We were just kissing, but it was
hot
. My leg came up and over his thigh
and tried to anchor him to me. For once I didn’t feel clumsy or uncoordinated,
I felt like a goddess. I wanted to feel like this every second of the day. I
just wanted to remember. If this was how it felt to be with Carter, I wanted to
remember it.

He moved
from my lips to my ear. “Please remember me.” All the air left my lungs in a
whoosh. I would have given up my cool new life to remember him right then, but
all I could remember was one word and it didn’t seem to fit the occasion.

Chapter Fourteen

“Kumquat.”

Carter
jerked up and practically off of me. “What did you say?” His eyes were
searching mine.

“Kumquat?”
I said it like a question. “Why? What does it mean?”

“Are you
sure you don’t have any idea?”

Duh, I
just asked didn’t I? “No. It just popped into my head. Why would I be thinking
of a fruit? It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

I could
tell Carter was deciding whether to tell me or not, but I wasn’t about to let
him withhold information that could be crucial to my recovery.

“It’s our secret code.”
Our secret code? Did we make our own club?

“Secret
code for what?”

“Sex.” He
sounded like he was embarrassed. I wasn’t. My mind was obviously at a place
where Carter wasn’t letting my body go.

“We have a
secret code for sex?” Hmm. It sounded like we’re a little kinky. I wasn’t sure
how to take that. Do we somehow use kumquats? I really don’t like kumquats,
they’re too tart.

He was
blushing again. Wow, he was almost as prone to them as I was.

“Carter,
why do we need a code word?”

“It’s just
a little thing we do, it’s no big deal.” He tried to dismiss it, but I raised
my eyebrows so that he would continue. “Sometimes if we’re out and there are
other people around it might go like “Do you want a kumquat?” and no one else
will know what we’re talking about. It’s not like we are constantly using that
word in public. We actually use it more around the house. It’s one of our
things. It’s only for us.” His explanation gave me a warm feeling inside and
not just inside my loins. We had cutie couple phrases. That was awesome.

I smiled
at Carter. “I want a kumquat.” He raised his brows.

“What
about dinner? I thought we were going to have some risotto, and you know how
long it takes.”

I could
tell he was trying to brush me off, but he was weakening. I was determined to
wear him down. I was afraid if we got up off the couch right now we were not
going to be back in this position any time today. That was unacceptable. I was
going to have to have some satisfaction. Today.

I wanted to demand sex
from Carter. He was obviously waiting for my memory to come back. I could
understand his position; he was a standup guy, blah blah blah. The thing was I
no longer felt like he was just Cheryl’s brother, someone I hardly knew. I had
remembered enough to know that we were an item. A pretty hot ticket.
Truthfully, and I’m not a slut or anything, but I have had sex on the first
date before. More than once. To guys I knew less than Carter, the old Carter I
mean. Granted, things never really turned out well, but I blame that more on
the guys themselves as opposed to the sex. Really. Admittedly, the sex had left
something to be desired, but I just couldn’t see bad sex between Carter and me.
Not if my dream was any indication.

He looked torn. Come
on
man, how tough of a choice is it?
Rice or hot sex? It wasn’t even close in my opinion. My leg was still wrapped
around his thigh, so I pulled myself up to make contact, intimate contact, and
I could feel that he was ready.

He dropped
his head down to my shoulder and groaned. “Justine, I had a plan for tonight. I
wanted things to go in some kind of order. I know you probably don’t believe me
since I’m lying here on top of you, but it’s true.”

“I believe
you, Carter. I’m sure whatever you have planned will be lovely, but I want a
kumquat. Now.” That was about as forceful as I was going to get, so if he
turned me down, it was all over. I had to pull out the only thing I had left,
and even as I said it, I thought it might be true. “It might help me remember.”

He looked up and straight
into my eyes. “Will you still make risotto?” Holy moly.
He was going to give in
, but the man must really love risotto. I
would make a seven course dinner if he wanted. I tried to dial down my
excitement a notch. I didn’t want to look overeager; I was an adult after all.

“Sure. It
does sound good.” He looked at me for a second longer and shut his eyes. When
he opened them he had a different look in them. He was determined. It gave me a
tingle.

He gave me
a soft kiss on the side of my mouth before he opened his and licked the seam of
my lips. My mouth opened to him as if it had been waiting for him forever. My
hands finally moved from his arms to grasp his back, pulling him even closer to
me.

I felt his pelvis grind
into mine as he changed position to move us to our sides. His hand molded my
waist underneath my shirt while he moved his knee up and between my legs until
he settled and I pressed myself down hard before clamping my legs together,
holding him in place.

He moved his head so that
he could kiss my neck. I couldn’t hold back a whimper; I was practically
quivering with need. Never had I felt this much desire for anyone. I hardly
recognized myself. I put my hand on his hip, really just to anchor myself since
I was almost on the edge of the couch, but I couldn’t stop myself from moving
it up and along his ribcage. His muscles contracted under my fingers infusing
me with a bravery that I wasn’t used to.

“Help me.” I barely
whispered the words as I tried to pull his shirt up and off. He didn’t even
hesitate, taking his hand off me to grab the hem of his shirt and yank it over
his head. My head was swimming, I felt a little bit like I did when I woke in
the hospital. I couldn’t catch a full breath, and what I was managing to suck
into my lungs was ragged. His taut muscles of his chest were perfection. His
eyes were smoldering emeralds,
yeah, I
said it
. It was almost too much for me to take. It was too intense. I
wanted to screw my eyes shut and be a coward, leaving everything on a
superficial level but it was already too late. I felt like I could see into his
soul and it scared me. He wanted to devour me, body and soul.

Everything
was taking on a dreamlike quality. I moved my mouth to lay a kiss on his chest
and his breath whooshed out against my hair. I opened my mouth and swirled the
tip of my tongue against his nipple. His arms wrapped around me again and I let
myself wallow in the feeling of security, but I couldn’t delve too deeply into
those emotions right now. I was burning up.

I pulled my mouth off of
Carter’s chest as he sat up. “Come on.” He stood up and tugged me up with him.
I didn’t say anything as he drew me along to the bedroom; I didn’t think I
would have been able to, anyway. When we got to bed he turned me so that my
back was to it before moving us backward. The moment my legs touched the
mattress I dropped down bringing a shirtless Carter with me.

“Wait. Let
me get this off.” I squirmed out from under him so that I could pull the tee
shirt off, leaving us chest to chest. He propped himself on his elbow so that
his glorious fingers could work the snap of my jeans. He had the zipper down in
a second before sitting up all the way to pull them down. I lifted my hips so
they slid down and off easily. I felt suddenly vulnerable, lying there in only
my sopping panties and I went to cover my breast with my arm.

“No
don’t,” he said quietly while shaking his head. I stopped with my arm half
across my stomach. I was frozen, mesmerized by him and I couldn’t see anything
but his eyes. He leaned forward and captured my head with his hands. “You’re
beautiful.”

Gulp. I
sat there motionless while he stood up and stripped off his own jeans and
boxers. My breath caught in my throat as his peen sprang up from under the
elastic band. I couldn’t look away and I didn’t want to. Oh. My. God. I knew my
eyes must have widened, but Carter didn’t mention it as he crawled back and
over me, cutting off my visual.

When I
took a deep breath all I could smell was Carter. It happened to be the most
potent thing I had ever encountered. He was kneeling beside my legs and he
hooked his fingers around the top of my panties and slipped them off of me. We
were both breathing heavily, and my heart pounded against my ribs.