Authors: Genevieve Jourdin
“I’ll take
a plain baked potato and a side salad, please,” I told him, proud of myself for
sounding sensible and healthful.
He looked
at me as if I had grown two heads. “Don’t you want the double?”
The double
patty cheeseburger sounded divine, but I didn’t want him to know that. He did
know my eating preferences, though. I was wavering in my convictions. I didn’t
want the salad. Well, that’s not true; I wanted the cheeseburger and the salad.
Decisions, decisions. Hunger beat dignity.
“Yeah, I
guess I’ll take the double.” I tried to make it sound as if I was only getting
it to humor him. “Oh, and a Coke.”
He ordered
two double cheeseburger meals and drove up to the window to pay. I was faced
again with my lack of funds, but I did have my fourteen dollars.
“Here,
I’ll pay for this.” I pulled my wallet out of my purse and grabbed my cash. He
handed the money to the girl at the window and paid for the food. He handed me
the change and then drove forward and took the bag from the teenaged boy in the
next window. “Get extra ketchup,” I told him before it was too late and we
drove away. He put the drinks in the cup holders and handed me a huge wad of
ketchup packets.
The smell
of food was permeating the car, and by the time he parked and we gathered the
food and the asparagus and carried it in, I was ravenous. We walked in and I
set the drinks and burgers on the island while Carter put the asparagus into
the refrigerator. He grabbed some plates and I separated the junk food feast
between the two of us.
I politely
waited until he sat down before tearing into my food. After I had eaten most of
my fries I moved on to my burger at a ladylike pace. That’s when I remembered
my money situation. I had to know if I was on the brink of bankruptcy or if I
was finally financially comfortable.
“Um
Carter, do I have any money?” He finished his bite before answering me.
“What do
you mean, exactly?”
I was
embarrassed to have to ask, but it was vitally important to me to know what I
was dealing with. “I need to know how much money I have available. Do you
know?”
“Well, not
down to the penny, but yeah, I have a pretty good idea. Do you need something?
You should have told me.”
“I was
just wondering. I only had fourteen dollars in my wallet, and I wasn’t sure if
I had any money in the bank or anything.” I didn’t want to admit to Carter that
ever since I bought the house, money had been tight. I always managed to pay
the mortgage and keep the electricity on, but often I was glad to be able to
eat at the restaurant.
“I’m
pretty sure you’re quite comfortable. Your website is very popular. If you
want, you can check online.”
“Right.” I
hadn’t even thought about checking online. I could have saved myself a lot of
embarrassment. “Thanks.” We finished eating and I threw all the trash away. I
wanted to look through my photo albums, but I needed to know my financial
picture.
I left
Carter in the kitchen and went straight to the office computer. I was jarred by
the furnishings again as I grabbed a pen out of a hairy Chewbacca mug on my
desk, ready to jot down my balance. I pulled up my bank online, but it didn’t
let me into my account. I tried again. Denied. I was getting frustrated. I
typed in my information one more time. It sent me to a page that told me I was
being locked out for security reasons. Great, now I was on some kind of a hackers
list or something. I banged my fist down on the keyboard. Carter picked that
moment to walk in.
“What’s
wrong?” He came and looked over my shoulder. “What did you do?”
“I don’t
know. It wouldn’t accept my information.” I was feeling angry and embarrassed,
all my happiness from earlier had evaporated with my money and technology
problems.
He leaned
over me and looked closer. “This isn’t even your bank, Justine.”
“Yes it
is. I’ve always banked here.” I think I know my own bank.
“Not
anymore. You bank at First National now. You have for the past six months. We
both have. They opened a branch right around the corner.”
It stuck
me again that he knew things I had no idea about. “Can you help me check?”
“Sure.” I
hopped up and he took the chair before digging in the desk drawer and pulling
out a check book. I looked closely at it, it was mine. He typed in the account
numbers and password.
“How do
you know my password?”
He smirked
at me. “You told me. It’s sexyCarter1.”
I felt my
face flame. I felt like I was in middle school and the cute boy I had a crush
on found a note I wrote about him.
“Don’t
worry, I picked something equally cheesy.”
“Hmm.” I
waited while my information popped up. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
There, right before my eyes was $7,344.19. That was impossible.
“What is
this?” Carter must have typed in his own information.
“Your
checking account.” No way, there was no way that was correct.
“That
can’t be right. That’s too much.”
“It is. I told you your
website is popular. I wasn’t exaggerating. You are doing
very
well. Once you get the advance for the cookbook, you’ll be
doing even better.” Oh my god. I’m
rich
.
Well, maybe other people wouldn’t think seven thousand dollars was much, but as
far as I was concerned, I was loaded.
“Anything else you need
to know?” I knew I was grinning like a fool. I just shook my head. Wow. Not
only am I kind of famous, I’m rich, too. Oh yeah, and I have a hot boyfriend.
The only downside was that I couldn’t remember any of this. But hey, on the
upside I was now one of
those
people.
The kind of person that other people envy.
I took a
moment to glory in my newfound awesomeness. I didn’t know what I should do
next. I wanted to go look at some pictures or something, but I also wanted to
laze around and think about how good things were going in the life that I
couldn’t remember.
“Nah, I’m
good.” Dang right I’m good. I’ve finally arrived. I thought of the pictures. I
wasn’t sure where we kept them. “Do we have some photos I could look at? I
already looked at the book beside the bed. I was hoping something would click,
but unfortunately nothing did.”
He nodded.
“There are some on here.” He motioned to the computer. “Plus, I think you have
a bunch on your phone.” Oh yeah, I had forgotten my phone, I probably have some
cool stuff on there.
“Well,
let’s look at them. You can tell me when and where and everything.”
“Okay.” He
opened a folder marked “Pictures.” Hmm, you’d think I would have noticed that
since it was on the desktop and all.
I pulled
his stool from his drafting table and perched on it right next to him. He
started going through the pictures one by one. There were a lot of shots with
no humans, just mountains and snow.
“These are
from when we went skiing in
Colorado
.”
I went skiing? Who is this new me? I must not be as clumsy as I remember. Nice.
I sat in
silence as other pictures came up. Me alone, Carter alone, the two of us
together at some party. Oh, those are from Cheryl’s house. I placed my hand on
top of Carter’s to make him pause. I got that same jolt as earlier, but I
didn’t have a new flash of memory. I looked closer at the picture. It was
obviously taken by someone else because Carter and I were looking at each other
with what can only be described as heat. I got a tingle in my belly. I wanted
to remember that moment. It looked hot. I realized I still had my hand on
Carter’s so I pulled it away.
He moved
on to the next pictures. Nothing looked familiar to me. I was becoming
frustrated again. I must have made some sound because Carter turned to me,
placing his face mere inches from mine. I couldn’t move. The only thing I could
do was take a deep breath. His scent hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, I
did have a memory. I was sniffing Carter, but we weren’t wearing any clothes.
We weren’t sitting upright either. His smell triggered a memory of sex and my
body was suddenly craving it. It’s like my body remembered what my mind refused
to. I leaned into him, like I had in the kitchen, but this time I wasn’t
embarrassed by it; I was turned on. There was only one thing to do in this
situation. My mouth had a mind of its own.
“Can we
have sex?”
Chapter Twelve
Omigod, did that just
come out of my mouth? I sat still in mortification, but on the inside I was
churning.
Please say yes. Please say
yes
.
He jerked
his head back so that he could look at me. “What?” I didn’t answer him. He
heard me, and I wasn’t brave enough to repeat it. “Justine, I don’t think it’s
a good idea.” He used the voice of someone trying to let you down gently. “Not
that I don’t want to.”
Yeah
right, I’ve heard that before. Really, I have. Unfortunately, this was not the
first time I had been turned down for sex. However, it was the first time I had
been rejected by someone who supposedly loved me. My sense of humiliation
increased tenfold with that thought. I had to get out of here.
I made to
hop off my stool but he grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let me escape.
“Uh uh.
You’re not going to say something like that and run away. Why do you want to
have sex with me? Right now?”
I didn’t
want to tell him what I had just remembered, but I realized if I didn’t I would
be denied for sure.
“I just
had a flash of memory when I smelled you. I could remember us in bed.” He
widened his eyes and waited for me to continue. “I was sniffing you just now
and I could see us, naked, in bed.” I was embarrassed to tell him this. Once
again it made me seem like I had some kind of sniffing fetish.
His eyes
had changed. First they were taken by surprise, then interest, now they were
filled with lust. Oh yeah, he wanted me. My ego re-inflated, and I wanted to
gloat, but there was no time. I felt like a squirming, melting mess.
“Justine, when we are
together like that again, I want you to know it’s me. I need you to
know
me.”
For butt’s
sake, how could he turn down an offer of sex? I only had a fleeting memory, but
I could see we were hot together. It wasn’t right. Not only am I currently
being denied my life, but I am also being denied a necessary part of human
companionship in the form of scorching hot intercourse.
I took my
hands off his shoulders and stood up.
“Wait.
Juss, wait.”
I didn’t listen, instead
scurrying into the bedroom and closing the door. I flopped down on the bed. I
felt horribly lonely. It was strange; spending the morning with Carter had been
great, I felt comfortable for the first time in two days. I wanted to spend
more
time with him. I couldn’t help the
fact that I wanted to be with him. I guess the real problem was that my
hormones had gone into overdrive and I had ended up propositioning him like a
street walker.
So, here I
was, back on the bed, writhing in humiliation. It’s like some kind of sick
pattern. I wanted to leave the house and drive around or something, but I
didn’t have anywhere to go. I thought about Cheryl. Of course! I could go to
her house. I just couldn’t tell her what happened. Some things were even too
humiliating to share with your best friend. I sat up. I was going to get my
phone and call her. I had only gotten as far as the thought of leaving when the
bedroom door opened.
“Please
leave,” I said politely. “I could use a little time on my own.”
“I’ve got
a better idea. You said you smelled me and remembered. Try it again.”
“What?” Uh,
no
.
“Smell
me.” He said it quietly, but it was a command.
I looked
over at him. He had pulled his long sleeved shirt off, so all he had on was a
form fitting white tee shirt and his jeans. He looked positively edible. My
mind drove me right back to downtown Lustville.
“I don’t
know.” I was afraid of getting all worked up again and then being shoved aside
like some humping puppy. I was in a precarious state of mind. I didn’t need the
rejection.
“Come on
Justine, you know you want to.” He sounded like a drug pusher. He knew I needed
a fix. I could only hold out for so long. He sat next to me.
“All
right. One sniff, then I’m leaving.” Even to my own ears this conversation
sounded bizarre. I leaned over and smelled his tee shirt. Damn, he smelled
delicious. I closed my eyes and really let myself get into it.
He moaned and his arm
came up around my waist.
I'll take that
as a good sign.
I pulled my hands up to his shoulders to steady myself and
got up on my knees. He didn’t move, but his eyes closed. Mmhmm. I was going to
get some.
I threw
one knee over his thighs so that I was straddling him. I tilted my head so that
I could smell his neck, and I couldn’t stop my tongue from touching his skin.
It was slightly salty, but it just turned me on more. My lips moved from his
neck to his jaw, never breaking contact. I placed my hand on either side of his
head, about to connect with his mouth, when I felt myself being flipped down
onto my back on the bed.