Authors: Genevieve Jourdin
“Um,
sure.” I was actually relieved. That would take up a couple of hours that I
didn’t have to make conversation. It was starting to feel awkward again.
“We can
see what’s on cable or we can go rent something if you’d rather.”
I knew he
was being polite, letting me make the choice, but I was painfully aware that I
didn’t know any of the movies from the past years, so anything on cable was
likely to be new to me.
“Whatever’s
on is fine. I’d like to just veg out.” That actually sounded like heaven right
at this moment. I was still dressed in the yoga pants and tee shirt, so I
didn’t even need to change into more comfortable clothes. I grabbed a fresh
glass since I had just put everything away and turned to Carter. “Would you
like a drink?”
“Sure, I’ll take a Coke.”
That sounded good to me too so I grabbed two cans and filled both glasses with
ice. He took the cans from me and started for the living room. I trailed after
him with a tingle in my stomach. We were going to watch a movie. Alone. I felt
a little giddy. Foolish, I know, but I still have a pulse. Did I mention that
Carter is
hot
?
We settled
ourselves on opposite sides of the couch and Carter picked up the remote. He
held it out to me, but I waved it off. This wasn’t the twenty inch TV I was
used to, it was a big flat screen behemoth. Even the remote looked too
complicated. He turned it on and started flipping through the channels. I was
only vaguely aware of what he was doing; I was too busy watching Carter’s
beautiful fingers work the remote.
“Is this
okay?” His voice broke me out of my reverie.
“Huh?” I
jerked my eyes away from his hand and up to his face.
“
Anchorman
. It’s pretty good. You like it.”
“Sure.
That sounds great.” I actually remembered that movie, since it was several
years old.
“It
doesn’t start for ten more minutes; do you maybe want to talk?”
He was
looking serious. I hoped this wasn’t going to be anything bad. “Okay. What do
you want to talk about?”
“Do you
remember anything at all, about us, I mean?” He looked into my eyes, so
hopeful, but I couldn’t lie.
“I’m sorry
Carter, I don’t. The last thing I remember is you being at Cheryl’s house
eating pizza and watching a movie. I was pissed off at John for canceling out
on me on my night off and Cheryl told me to come over.”
At the
mention of John, Carter’s face tightened. I didn’t mean to upset him; I was
just telling him my last memory of the two of us even being in the same room.
Now he just looked dejected. I wanted to lean over and pat his arm or
something, but I was too chicken to touch him. I wasn’t sure I could control
myself; I might sniff him again or something. Uh, my stupid face with its
stupid blushes.
I turned
my head forward. Maybe he wouldn’t notice that I was a spazz.
“What’s
wrong? Why is your face all red?” Well, so much for him not noticing.
“I’m
fine.” Crap, Carter noticing my blush just made it worse. Now he would know it
was something embarrassing, but there was no way I was going to tell him what I
was thinking about.
“Do you
want to know anything?” Boy did I. It was just that I suddenly felt shy and I
didn’t have the mental fortitude to start asking a bunch of personal questions
that I wasn’t ready to know the answers to just yet.
I shook my head and
Carter sighed. What did he want from me? I just got home from the
hospital
for goodness sake. I couldn’t
deal with this emotional crap right now. How was I supposed to take it all in?
I needed to deal with this in baby steps, and learning about a relationship
that I have no recollection of is like some kind of giant moon step. I reached
forward and grabbed my can of soda, popping the top and pouring it over my ice.
It started foaming over the rim of the glass and onto the coffee table.
“Dang it!” What else was
going to go wrong today? No, scratch that, I didn’t need to invite trouble. I
lifted my glass off of the table and started slurping the foam from the side. I
didn’t even notice Carter had gotten up to get a towel until he thrust it in
front of me.
“Here.” He
handed me a paper towel and used another one to wipe off the table. .
“Thanks.”
Could I look more like an imbecile? How embarrassing.
“No
problem,” He didn’t say anything else and took the paper towels back into the
kitchen. He came back with two clean ones; I guess he wasn’t sure I was going
to be able to drink without further mishap.
Once he sat down again he
picked up the remote and turned the volume on. I guess sharing time was over.
He must have realized I couldn’t be counted on for coherent conversation and
decided watching previews for other movies was easier all around. That suited
me just fine.
I made myself more comfortable and put my feet
up on the coffee table. Hmm. My toes looked pretty nice. The polish wasn’t even
chipped. It looked like a fresh pedicure. Nice color. I tried to remember the
last time I had gone to the nail place. It had been a while, and this looked
like a professional job. Then again, why would I pay someone to do something I
could take care of in five minutes? I must be getting better at it. I nodded
and wiggled my toes. I did a dang good job.
The sounds of the movie
starting made me stop admiring my feet. Carter turned off the lamp next to him
and turned up the volume. I fixed my eyes on the screen, but it couldn’t hold
my attention. The last thing I remembered was Will Ferrell doing a cannonball.
Mmm, so
warm. Wait, what? I opened my eyes to the bottom of Carter’s chin.
“What are
you doing?” Suddenly I was totally awake.
“I’m
putting you to bed; you’ve had a long day.” I looked outside the window—it was
still light out.
“It’s too
early. I was just taking a nap. Put me down.” He put me down on the bed, and I
immediately stood back up. I looked at the clock. “It’s only six thirty. I’m
not ready for bed.” I shook my head at him.
So here we
were, in my bedroom. Everything was abruptly awkward.
“So um,
you’re sleeping on the couch, right?” I just blurted it out, so much for trying
to finesse the situation.
He raised
his eyebrows as if he hadn’t thought of it at all. “Oh, yeah, that was the
plan.” Yeah right. I could tell by his face that I had caught him off guard
with that.
I stifled a yawn. Maybe I
was
tired. I was planning on a shower
so that I could wash my hair, but that could wait until tomorrow. Did I have to
do anything tomorrow?
“What day
is it?” I asked. It was strange to not know such a simple thing.
“Sunday.”
He was still standing there. Tomorrow was Monday. Usually I was off on Monday
nights, it was the slowest, but I normally went in early in the day to check
the stock and order what was needed. It took me a second to remember that I no
longer go in on Mondays or any days for that matter.
“What do I
do on Mondays? Do I have something I need to get done?”
“Not
really, you’ve been spending most of your time on your book, you usually post
something on Tuesdays, but if things are still…like this, I’ll post that you’re
sick or something.”
Oh. Well, surely Carter
works on Mondays, but I couldn’t remember what he told me he did. If so,
tomorrow I could spend my time going through my things and trying to remember.
“What time
do you go to work?” I asked as casually as possible.
“I already
called my boss. I’m taking a few days off, just to make sure you’re all good.”
“Please
don’t take off on my account. I don’t want to get you in trouble or anything.”
I was trying to get a little alone time because I really didn’t know how I was
going to get through another day like this one.
“It’s fine. Mr. Webster
told me to take as much time as I need until you’re back to normal.”
Nuts. Well, there was
nothing to do in this situation but call it a night. Lucy had followed us in
here and was already curled up on the bed. Bedtime was her favorite time of the
day and I was leaning toward her way of thinking right now.
“I think I
am a little sleepy. I’m just going to get ready for bed.” I hoped he would take
the hint and leave, but it wasn’t happening.
I raised
my eyebrows for emphasis when he didn’t make any move to go.
“Oh. I
guess I need to grab my stuff.” He didn’t hurry, but strolled across the room
to the dresser and took out a pair of boxer briefs before walking to the closet
to pull out a tee shirt and some sweat pants. “Call me if you need anything.”
He walked out of the room and I was left standing there, confused. That didn’t
go like I thought it would. He didn’t even put up any resistance. I felt
strangely deflated.
I flounced over to the
dresser and opened drawers until I found my sleepwear. There were fewer boxers
and more night shirts than I remembered, but I still chose a pair of shorts and
a tee shirt. I didn’t want to chance wearing something that Carter might take
as an invitation. I pulled on my night clothes, but I wasn’t really ready to
sleep, so I went out to get a book off of the shelf in the living room.
When I walked past the
bathroom door I heard the shower running. I felt my stomach tighten. This
couldn’t keep happening. I felt like I was
crushing
on him. Geez, what was I, twelve? I hurried down the hall and into the
living room, seizing a book at random, but relieved to see it was a Nora
Roberts title that I remembered
.
At
least I could open it to any page and know where I was in the story. I went
into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, and made
my way back to my room. Just as I came to the bathroom door it opened and I was
suddenly staring directly at Carter’s bare chest.
I stopped,
blocked by the exquisiteness that was Carter’s unclothed torso, and stood
there, unspeaking, just long enough to appear creepy before I pulled myself
together.
“Sorry.” I
scurried past him and back into the bedroom, closing the door and leaning up
against it while I got my breath back under control. This rooming together
thing was going to be tougher than I thought.
Chapter Eight
I pushed off from the
door, set my water and book on the bedside table and flopped down on the bed.
There was something I was missing here. I struggled to remember why I was so
opposed to the idea of being with Carter. Really, the only thing that was a
major stumbling block was that he was Cheryl’s brother, and that was always in
that “no go” area of boyfriends. If there was a breakup, the friend always had
to stick with blood. At least I assumed that was what happened; I didn’t have
any siblings that I could test this theory with.
Then there
was the fact that he was younger than me. It was a little bit weird, just
because I knew him when he was a kid, but he definitely wasn’t a kid anymore.
I sat up
and propped the pillows up behind me. Yeah, that electric hospital bed would
come in pretty handy right now except for the fact that the mattress was as
hard as a rock. As I settled back on the bed I noticed that it was a little
cool in the room. Unfortunately, the thermostat was out in the hallway and
there was no way in the world I was going out there to adjust it tonight so I
got up and pulled the comforter and sheet back and crawled in. I snuggled down
and Lucy crawled under and pressed up against my legs like a little hot water
bottle. Things felt normal. Well, besides the fact that there was a half-naked
man somewhere out there in my house.
I snatched my water and
chugged some down. Oh, I had better watch my liquid intake; I didn’t want to
have to go to the bathroom any time soon. I screwed the top back on and picked
up my book, but I just couldn’t concentrate on it. I read the same paragraph
three times before I realized I hadn’t absorbed a single thing. I was too busy
listening for sounds from outside the door. I looked around for something else
to occupy my time but nothing jumped out at me.
I threw back the covers
and stood up; there had to be something in here that would give me some window
into my recent past. I opened the closet but there were only clothes. I went
over to the other bedside table. Aha! There were some books stacked in the
bottom space. I pulled one out and saw that it was a scrapbook of some kind. I
don’t do scrap booking, so I had already found foreign to me. The first page
was a big picture of Carter. He was obviously laughing and I could see his
teeth. He has nice teeth. I noticed that earlier. He must have had braces as a
kid.
I started paging through,
seeing pictures of me and of Carter in various poses and activities. There was
one of us on a roller coaster. I was screaming with my eyes shut but Carter had
his hands up, laughing. I felt a little tug in my chest. He and I had gone to
an amusement park. I know I’m dorky like that, and I could never find anyone to
do that kind of stuff with me, but apparently Carter didn’t mind it so much. He
looked happy in the photo. He was smiling in every picture I had come across so
far. I realized that he hadn’t been smiling much today and I could only assume
it was my fault. Well, clearly it was my fault, but what was I supposed to do?
I wasn’t going to fake some grand love. I was floundering enough as it was.