Authors: Genevieve Jourdin
I reached in and pulled
out my pajamas, a matching set, and a pair of green boy-shorts panties. I
looked at her, wondering where she got this from. I usually slept in baggy
men’s boxers and worn oversized tee shirts.
“They’re yours. I got
everything from your house. Carter even put your purse in here since he forgot
to get it last night.” She reached in and pulled out a square bag of orange
leather. I couldn’t identify it as mine, but it looked like something I would
have.
“Is Carter at my house?”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about letting him just hang out at my house when I
wasn’t there. He might be snooping through the closets or something. What if he
found my vibrator?
“Yeah, he wanted to come
back to the hospital but he didn’t want to overwhelm you. I told him I would
bring this over for you so that we could have a little girl time.” She sat down
on the side of my bed. I needed to know so much, but I didn’t know where to
start.
“So um, what’s been going
on the last couple of years?” I felt foolish for asking such an inane question,
but I honestly felt like I had been on an extended vacation and had lost touch
with everyone back home.
“Well, where do you want
to start? What’s the last thing you remember?”
“Let’s see, it’s July and
I work at Heavenly Vegetables, I broke up with John, that douche, and you and
Paulo had just gotten engaged.” I gasped and looked at Cheryl’s finger. Yep,
there was a wedding band nestled beside her engagement ring.
“Oh my god, Cheryl, I
missed your wedding!” I was appalled. “I’m so sorry. Congratulations.” I didn’t
know what else to say. She leaned forward and squeezed me into a hug.
“You didn’t miss it,
honey. You were my maid of honor. Hold on a second.” She slid off of the bed
and over to the tote bag she called a purse. After a few seconds she came back
to the bed and pulled out a little square frame attached to her keys. She
pressed a button and pictures started flashing across the screen. She flipped
through a few and then stopped. “Here, this is us at the wedding.”
Sure enough, there she
was looking luminous in a white gown and there I was in a navy blue dress
looking happy and at ease. She flipped to the next shot and there were Carter
and Paulo in tuxes on either side of me, smiling at the camera in some sort of
group hug. My chest tightened. How could I not remember such a wonderful
moment? How could I forget my best friend’s most important day? I continued to
go through the photos, pausing at one of Carter standing behind me with his
arms around my waist. My heart pounded in my ears.
“When was your wedding?”
“June 18
th
of
last year. 2011.” Over a year ago. What else had I missed? I kept flipping
through the pictures until I came back to where I started. I felt odd and
strangely disassociated with the images I saw on the screen. That smiling woman
in those shots wasn’t me. They were of someone who didn’t exist yet, like a
Justine of the Future. I handed the photo frame back to Cheryl.
“Why did I quit my job? I
love it.” I did love being the executive chef at Heavenly Vegetables. I got to
cook the kind of food I loved and I was finally in control of my own kitchen. I
couldn’t fathom why I would have thrown that away.
“You didn’t love it when
you quit. The new manager was a dick and didn’t let you make any decisions. You
actually hated working there by the end. It was a blessing your website took
off. Plus, now you’re kind of famous!” She was beaming at me, but I was
reeling. My dream job had turned sour? That sucked.
“What do you mean I’m
kind of famous?” That was something I hadn’t heard before.
“Well, you do these web
shows on cooking and you have a huge following. Last year one of your clips
went viral and you got over a million hits. That’s why you got the offer for
the cookbook.” I do a cooking show. That had always been my dream when I was
younger. I used to do pretend cooking shows when Cheryl and I moved into the
house—obviously when Cheryl wasn’t home. Granted, my show was on the internet,
but still. My life didn’t sound so bad.
There was something else
I needed to ask, but I didn’t know how to broach the subject. I felt hesitant
to ask Cheryl, but there was someone alone in my house. I had to do it.
“I need to know about
Carter, Cheryl. I mean, the last thing I remember about Carter was the night he
was over at your house for pizza and we watched a movie. How is it that we’re
supposedly together now?” I felt uncomfortable talking to her about Carter.
Surely she thought it was weird that I was having a relationship with her
younger brother.
I
felt weird about
it. I just couldn’t see myself as the older woman in a relationship. I was
always drawn to older men. How could something that fundamental about myself
change?
“Maybe you should be
talking to Carter about this, Juss. Honestly, I didn’t know you were together
at first, I found out accidentally.” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t told Cheryl
about my love life. We shared
everything
.
“Accidentally? What, did
you walk in on us having sex or something?” I joked. Cheryl raised her eyebrow
at me and I cringed. “Really?”
She nodded. “It was a
shock, let me tell you. I wanted to bleach my eyes, but I don’t think that
would have helped. It is forever seared into my brain.” She was smiling but I
could feel my face flush in mortification.
I didn’t know what to
say. I couldn’t explain myself because I had no recollection of that happening.
Maybe talking to Cheryl about this was a bad idea after all. There was still
the problem of Carter at my house, though.
“So, um, Carter said we
live together?” I asked hesitatingly. I still couldn’t accept that it was true.
I had dated John for over a year and I never considered moving in with him. I
still felt the sting of betrayal about John. Even now, months later, I couldn’t
believe he had been cheating on me with my line cook, Laura. I had introduced
them when we had gone out for drinks one night. To my knowledge they had never
seen each other again, but how wrong I was. I still had to work with that
bitch, but luckily she knew better than to throw attitude at me in my own kitchen.
It suddenly occurred to me that I didn’t work there anymore. I had to remember
that. This day was giving me more than I could absorb.
“Yes, he moved into your
house sometime in the middle of February. I know because it was super cold that
day we were lugging his stuff over and I was wearing the new coat I had gotten
for myself for Valentine’s Day.” She nodded to herself. “Yep, it was the first
time I had worn it.” Cheryl had always been able to recall dates by wardrobe.
So it was true. Carter
lived in my house. I had no idea what I was going to do tomorrow when I got
home. Could I ask him to stay somewhere else until things got back to normal? I
didn’t think I would feel comfortable with him staying with me before I got my
memories back.
It would be different if
he were a girl or maybe an ugly guy, but as I’ve mentioned before, young or
not, he is
hot
. This wouldn’t be much
of a problem for most women, but, due to a genetic anomaly, hot guys turned me
stupid. I became a stuttering idiot, incapable of holding an intelligent
conversation for more than a few minutes at a time.
Usually this was not a
problem with Carter because a) we were never really alone when we would see
each other, and b) I never looked on him as someone to impress. Seriously, he’s
just Cheryl’s younger brother.
“I’m freaking out,
Cheryl.” I was finally about to break down. “I don’t know
anything
right now. I don’t know what I do, what I wear,” I pointed
at the pajamas, “Nothing. I don’t even know who I’m in a relationship with. I
don’t know what to do.” I started crying, I just couldn’t help it. Actually, I
couldn’t believe I hadn’t before now.
“God Juss, I’m sorry. I
guess I didn’t realize how you were feeling. I know you must be terrified. I
would be.” She leaned over and hugged me tight. “I’ll do whatever you need. Do
you want to come and stay with Paulo and me? I can rearrange some things at
work and we can spend our time trying to help you remember.” Cheryl was a party
planner, so she worked for herself, but she was good, so she was always busy. I
wanted to say yes, to go to Cheryl’s house and let her take care of me while I
got my bearings, but I didn’t want to mess up her schedule. Even more
importantly, something inside of me was telling me I needed to be home, around
my own things.
“Thanks, but I think I
need to be at home, sleeping in my own bed and cooking in my own kitchen. I
hope just being in my house, surrounded by all of my stuff will jar something.
I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Why would my mind block out two
years of my life?” Luckily, after my short outburst, my tears slowed down to a
slow trickle.
“I don’t know. You
haven’t told me about anything bad happening recently. Things have been going
really well for you. You’ve been working flat out on the cookbook, but you’ve
been nothing but excited about it. I’m pretty sure things with Carter are going
smoothly too. You gripe about his neatnik tendencies, but on the whole, you
guys are great together.”
I pondered this for a
moment. I’m working hard on my
book
.
Ooh, the thought of that gave me a tingle. I’m also living with some kind of
neat freak. How the hell had that happened? I was not a slave to housework. I
keep a spotless kitchen, but a little clutter here and there in the rest of the
house? I can’t be bothered. Strange.
Still, there has got to
be something that’s so horrible my mind can’t handle it. If Cheryl didn’t know
what happened, who could I ask? Okay, I needed to calm down. I might wake up in
the morning with my memories intact. I was stressing myself out for nothing.
Everything would be fine in the morning. I just needed to get through tonight.
“The doctor is springing
me tomorrow. Is there any way you can get me some clothes to go home in? I
don’t know where my clothes are. I don’t even know what I was wearing when I
came here last night.”
“I’m way ahead of you. I
packed you jeans and a tee shirt, and Carter said your sneakers and a hoodie
are in the closet.” She walked over to the little cupboard to check. “Yep, and
I guess this is what you were wearing when you were admitted.” She lifted up a
plastic bag that I could see clothing through.
“Okay, good. I hate to
ask, but could you come pick me up tomorrow? I didn’t drive here so I don’t
have wheels.”
“Uh, I think Carter is
coming to get you. At least that’s what the plan was, but if you want me to
pick you up I will.” She walked back over to the bed and sat back down.
“Whatever you need.”
“Oh, well if he’s already
planning to come, I guess that will be all right.” I would probably be fine in
the morning and want to have my boyfriend pick me up. Or at least Cheryl’s
brother. I mean, I would accept a ride from him if my car broke down and he was
the only person I could get in touch with. Yeah, it would be okay.
Cheryl looked at her
watch and groaned. “I need to get home and get ready for the Jameson
christening tomorrow. I still have the commemorative photo boxes to finish.”
She made a face. “The kid is only two months old, how many important photos
could he have?” She shook her head and stood up. “Is there anything else I can
get for you before I leave?”
“No, I’m just going to
shower and go to sleep. Thanks for coming by to visit and bringing me all
this.”
“My pleasure. You get a
good night’s rest, and I’ll come by your house tomorrow after the christening.
Love you.” She leaned over to hug me and left.
I could only do what I
said, shower and sleep. This crazy day would probably be a funny story after I
got my memory back tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
Chapter Four
I opened my eyes slowly.
I knew I was still in the hospital because I had had a horrible night. I had never
appreciated the amount of noise and constant activity that went on in these
places. My head only had a dull ache, mostly due to the fact that I’m a side
sleeper and I woke up on my right side, my injury side.
The room was still
semi-dark. There was only gray light filtering through the window where the
sliding curtain was left unfastened. I could hear the early morning bustle of
the nurses down the hallway. I didn’t want to face the day because I
immediately realized that my memory had not returned. I was still a twenty
seven year old chef in a thirty year old blogger’s body.
My heart started pounding
again. Crap, but that was getting old. I was going to be going home in a few
hours if everything checked out. I needed to get it together.
I focused on my orange
purse lying on the chair next to the bed. I still hadn’t gone through it like I
planned to last night. Maybe it would trigger something and my mind would fast
forward to the present. It was worth a try.
I hoisted myself into a
seated position, relieved to notice no dizziness, and reached over for my bag.
The first thing I spotted was my phone. It was like my old phone, but slightly
different.