Authors: Genevieve Jourdin
“I’m calling the doctor.
Just calm down.” He turned and left the room. I didn’t know what to think of
what Carter had just said. I think I would know if I was involved with Carter.
Like that could ever happen. Sure, he looked good, but I had known him since he
was fourteen. He was Cheryl’s little brother, so he was four years younger than
me. There was no way I would ever get involved with him,
there wasn’t
. Anyway, I wasn’t ready to jump back into the dating pool;
I had just dumped the cheating scumbag, John. It hadn’t even been two month
yet. I really needed to talk to Cheryl.
Just then the door opened
and a doctor I didn’t recognize came in with Carter on his heels. “Carter,
could I please have some privacy?” He stopped and looked at the doctor before
nodding at me and turning around. Once he was gone and the door was shut I
looked to the doctor. “I’m sorry about him, he’s my best friend’s brother.” I
shrugged to let him know that Carter’s behavior was no reflection on me.
The doctor gave me a
funny look and wrote something down on a clipboard.
“Do you know what day it
is, Justine?” Huh?
He was looking serious.
“Um, Thursday, yeah, Thursday. My movie was due back yesterday and I dropped it
off before I went grocery shopping.” Whew. It felt good to remember something.
“Do you know what month
it is?”
“July.” Okay, easy
questions.
“Do you know what year it
is?”
“2010.” What kind of inane
questions were these?
He paused as if trying to
find the right words. “Justine, I’m afraid you might have a slight case of
amnesia. Do you remember last night at all? Falling and hitting your head?” He
was frowning, never a good sign.
“Amnesia? No, I don’t
have amnesia, doctor. I don’t remember falling or hitting my head.” My hand
automatically went to my temple and I felt the spot that hurt earlier. Wow.
There was a lump there. What the heck happened last night?
“Justine, it’s 2012. It’s
September 2012. You had an accident last night and hit your head in the
bathroom. Your friend outside brought you in because you were confused and
agitated. I know it’s hard but you need to relax and let your body heal. You’ll
feel a lot better as soon as the swelling on your brain goes down.”
Holy crap! 2012? How
could it be 2012? My brain was swollen? Two years of my life were gone? I
couldn’t believe it. There had to be some mistake.
“Are you sure?” I looked
around the room for any sign of the date. Unfortunately, there was no handy
calendar hanging on the walls, just ugly pinstriped wallpaper. If only I had my
phone.
“I’m sure, Justine. I’m
going to order some tests, but I’ll go get your friend to come sit with you.”
He went to the door and
stepped out. I had amnesia? How could that be?
That’s soap opera crap.
I tried to gather myself. I needed all my
wits about me for this. When the door opened it wasn’t the doctor coming, it
was Carter. He looked ashen. Freakishly hot, but ashen.
“Carter, tell me the
truth. Is it 2012? Give me your phone.” He held it out and I snatched it up. It
took a second to make my shaking fingers work, but finally the screen came to
life. September 29, 2012. Holy crap!
“Yes. Listen, I called
your mom, she’ll be here in a couple of hours. She’s leaving right now. Cheryl
will be here soon, too. Your neurologist is setting up some more tests and said
he’d be right back. Is there anything I can get for you?”
He was looking at me
earnestly. I didn’t know what to say to him. “You said we lived together? As
roommates or…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t even finish the
thought. It seemed all wrong. Surely he couldn’t mean we
lived
together. With sex and …stuff. I would definitely remember
that.
“We’ve been living together
for almost seven months as a
couple.
We’ve been together for about a year and a half. About as long as Just Add
Heat.”
“Just add heat? How did
we get together? I hardly ever spend any time with you.” The questions were all
garbled in my mind. I didn’t know what to ask first.
“You write a food blog.
It’s very popular. You try foods at restaurants then dissect them, recreate
them by spicing them up, and post recipes and video, but with a sexy spin.
That’s what we were going to do last night; you wanted to try out the Thai
place for new dishes.” He didn’t answer me about our supposed relationship, I
noticed.
“What about my job? Did
anyone call them and tell them I’m in here? I think I’m supposed to work
tonight.” Crap. Thursday nights were busy. This was a bad night to be out.
“Justine, the website is
your job. You haven’t worked at the restaurant for more than a year. When you
started getting popular, you started making enough on advertising to quit your
job and do the site full time. You also do a web show. Right now you’re working
on a cookbook.” He looked at me for some sign of recognition. Nope.
Wait. I haven’t worked at
the restaurant for a year? Oh god. Maybe I really did have amnesia. I was
finally in charge of my own kitchen, I would never
quit.
I was starting to hyperventilate. I’m writing a cookbook?
That was actually kind of cool if only I could remember it. But wait, back to
the important stuff.
“We’ve been together for
a year and a half?
Together
together?
How did that happen? No offence but, you’re young. Too young. You’re just out
of school.”
“I finished college two
and a half years ago. I’m a graphic artist at Webster and James, the
advertising firm. We started going out last April, after we spent time setting
up your website and getting it off the ground. You came to me for some help
with the layout. Do you remember that at all?”
I shook my head. Didn’t
ring a bell. Nope. I couldn’t really see myself doing something on the
internet. I’m a chef, a damn good one. That just didn’t seem like me. Going out
with a younger guy didn’t seem like me either. Well, not Cheryl’s brother, at
least. That would be too bizarre. Yucky even.
He sighed but didn’t say
anything. We just sat there, staring at each other and not talking. I didn’t
know what to say, what to ask. I could tell that I was going to go to pieces
soon. Nothing was adding up. I didn’t recognize that life as mine.
There was a tap on the
door and Cheryl breezed in smiling. “I fed Lucy, she gobbled up everything, I
also fed Fred and Ethel since I wasn’t sure when Carter was going to go back
home. Are you feeling okay?”
“Cheryl.” I was relieved
to have some familiarity. “What did you do to your hair?” It was in shoulder
length waves. Cheryl had a sleek bob that was at her chin. Hair doesn’t grow
overnight.
She peered at me
strangely. “It’s been like this forever. We were just talking about that the
other day, remember? We were going through those magazines to find a new
style.”
I was shaking my head
when Carter interjected. “She has some kind of amnesia. She thinks it’s 2010.
She doesn’t remember her website or last night or me.” Carter looked defeated
and said that last sentence in a low tone I could barely hear.
“Amnesia? Oh my god! What
do you last remember?” Cheryl’s eyes had widened outrageously. “You don’t
remember your site? Oh my god, that’s your life! You don’t remember Carter? You
live
with him. How many fingers am I
holding up?” Cheryl thrust three fingers at my face.
“Cheryl, I’m not blind, I
just can’t remember some stuff right now.” I scrunched back on the bed and
Cheryl withdrew her hand.
“This is really freaky,
Juss. How can you not remember Carter? You spend practically every free moment
with him.” That made me squirm in my bed. It didn’t seem right to be talking
about this with Cheryl. I felt embarrassed to be connected with her younger
brother. I mutely shook my head again.
“Carter, can I have a
minute alone with your sister?” He nodded and left the room.
“Cheryl, I’m losing it
right now. I’m not dating your brother, there has to be some mistake. I can’t
process the fact that I am missing two years of my life. What is going on?
Carter said I don’t work at the restaurant anymore. Why would I quit? Help me!
I don’t know what to do.” All my words were running together as I poured my
heart out to Cheryl. Cheryl with longer hair. Oh god, oh god, I needed a Xanax.
I could feel my panic attack coming on in earnest now. There was going to be no
stopping it. My chest was pounding and I was gasping for air.
“Oh shit. Hold on, Juss.”
She pressed a button on the railing of my bed. “Could someone please come in
here? I think Justine is having an anxiety attack.”
“Someone will be right
in.” The disembodied voice came from a tiny box next to the button. I noticed
this through the haze of my terror. It felt like my heart was beating out of my
chest.
I’m having a heart attack. Thank
goodness I was in a hospital.
The door burst open and a
nurse wearing flowered scrubs came into my room. She walked up to my bed and
checked something beside me. It was some kind of monitor connected to my arm
and finger and I hadn’t even noticed it before.
“Take a deep breath and
try to calm down. The doctor will be with you in just a moment.” She messed
with something and wrote something down on my chart.
“I really need a Xanax. I
have some in my purse.”
“I’m sorry, Justine, you
can’t have any medications until I know what’s going on with your brain.” The
doctor from earlier walked in while answering my plea. “You’re just having some
anxiety right now, no one could blame you. You’ve had a huge shock. Just try to
relax and we’ll get you fixed up in no time.”
Easier said than done,
but I tried to get a hold on my breathing. It was the only thing I could manage
right now. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. It didn’t help my
heart rate, but at least I felt a tiny bit more in control. A minute later I felt
a cool wetness across my face and I opened my eyes. Carter had come back in and
was holding the towel. He then stuck it behind my neck and I felt a little
better almost at once.
“Thank you.” I reached up
to touch the towel and met Carter’s fingers. They were cold. “Thank you,” I
repeated while looking up at him. It felt strange but also somehow familiar. At
this point I would take familiarity wherever I could get it.
Chapter Two
After I got over my panic
attack, I didn’t have a moment to myself to think. Before I could even get my
bearings, an orderly came in with another wheelchair to take me for testing. I
don’t know why they had to wheel me there, I could walk perfectly fine. I
walked from the bed to the chair with no mishap, anyway.
I was hoping that I would
have some kind of breakthrough while I was in the CT scanning machine. I
didn’t. Nothing was clear to me. I know I have a
Chihuahua
named Lucy. I got her as soon as I
graduated from culinary school. She was a rescue, so I didn’t know how old she
was, but earlier Cheryl said she stopped by my house and fed her, so at least I
knew she’s doing okay. Cheryl said she fed someone else, but I was so freaked
out by that time that I didn’t question her and now she wasn’t here. Maybe I
got another dog or possibly a cat. I always felt guilty leaving Lucy alone for
such long shifts at the restaurant. But evidently I don’t work at Heavenly
Vegetables anymore, so I didn’t have a clue.
I was relieved when I got
back to the room and found it empty. I wasn’t ready to deal with what I had
learned today. Dr. Turner said I was suffering from retrograde amnesia. He
wasn’t sure why I couldn’t remember the last two years. I wondered the same
thing. Did something happen that was so awful my mind was blocking it out? If
so, it’s got to be really bad. It probably had to do with Carter. That’s what
made the most sense to me.
Now that everything was
quiet, I could think about Carter. Okay, he looks good, that’s obvious. His eyes
are the same dark green as Cheryl’s (I was so jealous), plus he’s tall and
built like a swimmer. His black hair is a little long, but he dressed a lot
better than I do, at least from what I can remember about him. That was the big
problem. I don’t really know. I mean, I only know him as Cheryl’s brother. Of
course we’ve hung out lots of times, but Cheryl was always there. I couldn’t
think of a single time that Carter and I had spent any time alone.
Cheryl’s been my best
friend since freshman year of college when we lived across the hall from each
other in the same dorm. We gravitated towards each other since we each had
roommates we didn’t get along with. Well, Cheryl didn’t get along with her
roommate. My roommate was a psycho and I tried to avoid spending time in my
room while she was awake. Cheryl and I moved into one of her parents’ rental
houses our junior year, and the rest was history. We lived together with her
boyfriend Paulo until a few years ago when I bought my fixer-upper on the
East Side
.