Authors: Genevieve Jourdin
Finally, he loosened his
hold and I took a step away from him. Hopefully, tonight my mind would reset
and I would wake up tomorrow with everything in my world in its proper place.
“I’m going
to go to bed now, Carter.” He looked down at me and I knew he wanted to say
something but he remained silent. “Goodnight,” I told him after he made no move
to leave.
“Goodnight, love.” He
pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear but made no move to kiss me again.
Hmph.
He walked over to the bed and
pulled off a pillow before going to the chest sitting under the window and
taking out a blanket. He didn’t say anything else as he walked from the room,
he didn’t even look back at me.
Oh man, I have completely
lost my mind. I flopped on the bed with Lucy and moaned. I couldn’t believe
that I demanded that he kiss me then yelled at him when he stopped. I grabbed
my pillow and covered my head with it. I seek out ways to humiliate myself; it
was the only explanation. Maybe I do have brain damage. They didn’t say for
sure that I didn’t. Maybe the doctor would call tomorrow and insist that I
return to the hospital for more testing.
I pulled the pillow off
of my face. What a day. I guess I should say what a weekend. It was unreal. “I
have amnesia. I have
amnesia.
I
have amnesia.” Nope, saying it a bunch
of times in different ways didn’t make it feel any less bizarre.
I vowed that from this
point on things were going to be different. The next time Carter saw me, he
wouldn’t recognize the composed and together person I know has to be in me
somewhere. Plus, I had to be hip for my fans. I was some kind of internet
sensation these days. I might have some people who look up to me or something.
It’s possible.
I wanted
to brush my teeth, but too bad. I absolutely refused to leave this room again
tonight. Lucy was already back under the covers. Luckily, she didn’t care if I
acted idiotically. I didn’t have to pretend with her. I didn’t have to pretend
with Cheryl either. I wanted to call her but since she just left a few hours
ago I decided to suck it up and wait until tomorrow. Anyway, I wanted to talk
about what had just happened with Carter. Regardless of how accepting she was
about it, I couldn’t bring myself to speak with her about him. It was too
strange. I could still remember the sixteen year old Carter coming to spend the
weekend with us at our house and the two of us making fun of his Goth look. It
was okay to laugh at him with her, but talking about kissing him was another
matter.
I tried to
superimpose the Goth Carter onto Super-Hot Carter but it was almost impossible.
Super-Hot Carter was just too powerful, so much so that I could hardly believe
they were the same person. That was good I guess. I didn’t feel as dirty if I
couldn’t see him as a kid. My mind went back to the new office décor but I
quickly shut it down. I couldn’t deal with that tonight.
I should
go to sleep. Sitting up thinking about things was only making me more uptight.
I would most likely be well by morning, sleeping in my own bed in my own house.
I crawled under the covers for the second time tonight, but this time I was
going to stay put. I closed my eyes and started counting sheep. After a few
seconds of that I became angry. Who came up with that stupid idea? Watching
sheep jump doesn’t do anything to help me sleep. I started to count puppies.
Aww, they are so cute.
There was a warm hand on my hip and
hot breath on my neck. I leaned back into the firm body that was spooning me. I
could feel the bulge of his cock on my ass. I wiggled closer.
“Mmm,” he groaned in my ear while he
slid his hand up to my breast. My own hand reached up to cover his.
“Well good morning to you, too,” I
whispered scratchily as he tightened his arm around me, pulling me closer. His
tongue and lips started an assault on my neck and I shivered, pressing myself
into him. I don’t know how long we laid there, practically still but for his
mouth, before his hand moved back down to my thigh, grasping it and shifting it
forward to make space for him. I could feel his peen nudging my entrance which
was already wet and eager. He pushed himself into me at an excruciatingly slow
pace.
“Oh god, Carter,” I gasped as I
arched my back.
I bolted upright in bed,
my breathing shaky. What the
hell
was
that? I could still feel Carter’s hand holding me and his lips on my neck. Did
I just have a sex dream? Holy moly, I never had those. Ever. My heart was
beating fast. Like panic attack fast but in a good way. I was still turned on.
Sex dreams are
awesome
.
I switched on the lamp
and looked over at the clock. Six forty two. Way too early for me to be up, I
was the proverbial night owl. I had always been lucky that my body preferred
the night since that was when I was at the restaurant. I hoped I wasn’t some
freakish early riser now. That would totally suck. There was nothing as
fabulous as being able to be asleep while the rest of the poor working schmoes
were already grinding away at their jobs.
I wanted
to go back to sleep, but I didn’t want to fall back into the dream. Not that it
didn’t make me feel good though, precisely the opposite. It probably wouldn’t
be a very good idea to moon over him while unconscious, I might get carried
away or something and force myself on him. Then again, I’d already done that.
I finally got up because
I really needed to go to the bathroom. I turned on the lamp and the first thing
I saw was the picture of Carter and me. I tried to remember when it was taken,
but I came up blank. My stomach sank as I realized I still had no memory of the
recent past.
Well, this bites
. I had
pinned my hopes on sleep recharging my mind. It was obviously going to take
something else.
I crawled
out of bed dejectedly. I needed to do something constructive today. Something
that would actively engage my brain. I made it to the door and opened it a
crack. It was quiet. Great. I raced to the bathroom and took care of the most
pressing business. Uhg, my mouth felt gross. I picked up my space-aged
toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste on it before I turned it on and started
scrubbing my teeth, only then did I look up to see what I can only describe as
hideous. It was my head. My whole head.
My eyes were red and
puffy from last night’s crying jag and the bruise on the side of my head had
morphed into what looked like a bad makeup job from an old monster movie, all
green and brown. My hair was the worst of all. What wasn’t sticking to my head
in greasy chunks was poking up in a tangled mess. I momentarily stopped
brushing my teeth to gaze at myself. I looked like total crap. I hurriedly
finished brushing and stripped out of my clothes. A shower was the only
prescription for this disease.
I turned the water on and
opened the cabinet to make sure my robe was hanging before stripping down and
stepping into the steaming spray. I felt instantly better as I lathered up my
hair, the smell of my shampoo familiar and comforting. While I conditioned my
hair I pulled the razor off of the shelf and shaved my legs—strictly for
myself, of course. After I was done and dried off I felt a hundred times better
than I felt yesterday.
When I
opened the door I was confronted by someone who was the opposite of hideous.
Geez, even at the butt-crack of dawn he looked good. How unfair. His hair
looked messy, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Everything else
looked amazing. I grabbed the lapels of my robe together like some kind of prudish
ninny.
“Good morning,” I said in
my most schoolmarmish voice. “I’m finished; you can have the bathroom now.”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at me and
raised his eyebrows. “Excuse me,” I murmured as I pushed past him. He smelled
like sleep. It was a good smell. I had to get out of there.
“Morning.”
He actually grunted something that sounded like “horny” but I think that was me
projecting. I rushed to my bedroom and closed the door harder than I meant to
before grabbing some jeans and a pretty black tunic with silver embroidery. I
didn’t recognize it, but I was happy to put on something attractive. I needed
the confidence boost. Yesterday was a bitch-slap to my mental wellbeing, and I
wasn’t sure I was going to be able to handle another day like that one.
Today I would be
proactive about remembering. I would go through every email and picture I had.
There had to be something somewhere that would make everything fall into place.
I was an intelligent woman. It shouldn’t be that hard to force my mind to dredge
up
something
useful. I went back to
my closet and pulled out a pair of ballet flats. Cute. I slipped them on and
looked down at myself. Nice.
I went back to the
bathroom to dry my hair and was happy to see it was empty. Ten minutes later,
with dry hair and a bit of makeup to cover some of the bruising I felt pretty
good, all things considered.
I smelled
coffee and immediately perked up, faintly amazed that I hadn’t felt the need
for any earlier. Usually, I couldn’t function without caffeine first thing. I
wasn’t surprised to find Carter already sitting at the island with a coffee mug
in front of him.
“I made
some coffee.” He looked up from the book he was reading and I walked over to
the coffee maker.
“Thanks.” There was
already a mug next to the coffee pot. It was my favorite mug, the one I had
used every morning since I had moved into this house.
Carter knew that this was my special mug.
I had to put that thought
away until later. I poured my coffee and dumped in a mound of sugar. After I
took my first sip I turned back to Carter, who was watching me.
“You look
nice.” He said it with a smile so I was extra glad I had put on something
besides my usual tee shirt.
“Thank
you.” My voice was all breathy.
All I
could think about when I looked at him was my dream. I could feel his lips on
my neck and his hand on my breast. My nipples sprang to attention before I
could help it. This was going to be tough. I knew it would be impossible to
actually have sex with him while I was in this state. For one thing, I usually
dated a guy for a while before I took it that far, and another, maybe more
pertinent to this situation, I didn’t think he would go for it. He stopped
kissing me last night because he thought I wasn’t ready, so I was pretty sure
that he wouldn’t be inclined to indulge me in sex. Dang it! I needed to
implement my plan to be cool like I had decided last night. Sadly, I had no
practice being cool so I didn’t know what to do. I fell back on the only thing
I had.
“Do you
want any breakfast?” I made sure my voice was strong and clear.
“Only if
you want to make some, I was going to make do with coffee.”
“Omelet
okay?” I asked as I pushed off from the counter I was leaning on and made my
way over to the refrigerator.
“Great. Do
you want any help?”
No. No. No.
“Sure.” I smiled and grabbed the carton of eggs and leaned
back down to see if there were any mushrooms in the drawer. Bingo. I pulled out
the bacon and cheese and set everything down on the counter.
“Bacon and
mushroom omelet, your favorite,” I said triumphantly. I heard Carter gasp from
behind me.
“What?”
“You know
what my favorite breakfast is.” He said it with such awe that it only took me a
moment to understand what he was saying.
“Oh my gosh! How did I
know that?” My heart started pounding again, but this time it wasn’t in fear.
It was excitement. Maybe today
was
going to be my lucky day.
Chapter Ten
Carter was
beside me in a second. “What else do you remember?” he asked anxiously while
latching on to my upper arms.
I thought
hard. Hmm. Nothing really. I had no idea where the whole omelet thing had
popped up from. I searched my thoughts for any tiny nugget of information, but
I just couldn’t bring anything to the surface. Carter was searching my face for
some kind of recognition, so I just shook my head.
He slowly
released my arms. “That’s okay, sweetie. It’s in there somewhere. This is a
great sign. Maybe it will happen while you aren’t even trying.” He said it
while trying to put on a happy face, but the excitement I had felt just a
moment ago was already starting to dissipate.
I stared
at his face, trying to force my mind to give me just a little more. I looked
down at the breakfast ingredients, and for some reason I couldn’t even remember
making omelets for Carter anymore. That momentary, fleeting thought was already
buried back in my subconscious. I wanted to yell in anger and cry in
frustration all at the same time. My heartbeat had slowed back down, too, my
tiny victory already overshadowed by reality.
“I guess I’ll start the
food.” I didn’t feel like eating, but cooking always made me feel better. It
was soothing and I needed that desperately, even if I was just going through
the motions. I put the bacon on and then felt arms come around me. I stood
still. Part of me wanted to lean into him, but the other part, the part still a
tiny bit freaked out, wanted to elbow him in the stomach.