Authors: Kerry Heavens
‘I love you x”
I love you too I think, more than you’ll ever know.
Eighteen.
Danny.
There’s no need to get nasty.
Walking through the doors at LAX, I scan the faces, looking for Jen. I don’t see her, so I walk slowly through the roped-off section exclusively for ‘arrivers’, flanked on both sides by ‘collectors’. I always feel scrutinised at this point in the travel experience. You don’t want to look too needy; people look at you and think, ‘Aw he was expecting someone that didn’t come.’ Then again, if you saunter through not making eye contact, you could miss the love of your life or your mother, waving furiously at you over the barrier. It’s a fine line.
Just as I’m feeling like my over-eyeing of the crowd is putting me in the desperate category, I see her. Hiding behind a sign, which reads,…’Danny Boy’…I shake my head and walk over to her. She doesn’t realise I’ve seen her and when she peeks out from behind the stupid sign, I’m standing right in front of her with my eyebrows raised. She cracks up and squeals, excited to see me, much to the dismay of the elderly man standing next to her. She moves away from the barrier and we both walk to the end until we are no longer separated and then she jumps me.
She leaps into my arms and I spin her round. When I put her down and kiss her forehead, she holds me at arm’s length and inspects me.
“You look different,” she says with a grin.
“I’m great. Happy.”
Jen squeals again and puts her arms back around my neck. “I’m so glad you’re back.”
“I missed you.”
“I missed you too. Come on, let’s get out of here.”
We pull up outside my apartment and Jen comes inside with me. She’s been in and put the AC on, put some drinks in the refrigerator and collected my mail. I put my case in the bedroom and when I come out she’s fixed us a drink and is sitting out on the terrace.
“So, how’s it all going?” she asks.
I smile then sigh. “It’s going great, perfect. Liv’s incredible. Thank you for putting the idea in my head to go.”
“Well you never would have gone off your own back.”
“No, I owe it all to you.” I tease. “Where would I be if I didn’t have you telling me what to do?”
She laughs. “I dread to think.”
We sit for a moment in silence.
“So you’re set on moving?”
I nod. I know she wants me to be happy, but living on different continents will be hard on both of us.
“It’s going to suck here without you, you know.”
“I know,” I reply, deadpan. “You could always come too.”
“You know how much of a baby Scott is about the cold.”
“Who needs him?” I joke.
Jen laughs.
“So what’s new?” I ask.
“Nothing much, it’s been real quiet here without you.”
“Brooke’s been calling me.”.
“Really? I didn’t think you’d seen anything of her recently.”
“I haven’t, but she’s obviously available and that’s when she calls me. The problem is, she isn’t accustomed to finding me unavailable. She didn’t take it well.”
“I hope you told her to take a hike.”
“I did, but she isn’t taking no for an answer.”
“I don’t want to say I told you so, but she had bunny-boiler written all over her from the start.”
“I can’t have her screwing this up for me. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be out of here and it won’t matter. But while Liv is here, I don’t want her messing with things.” I shake my head in frustration. “The problem is, I know she will.”
“Have you told Liv about her?”
“Yeah, but if I tell her that I think she’s going to go all Fatal Attraction on us, Liv might run for the hills.”
“It won’t get that bad.”
“Oh no? She comments on a photo posted by Liv and blatantly asks to hook up. Then the same night she calls, while I’m on a romantic break and I have to spell it out for her, with Liv in the next room. Then last night she saw your status about picking me up and calls me again.”
“What did you say?”
“I didn’t answer. But then this morning, while I’m eating breakfast with Liv, she texts me.” I show Jen the text.
Jen can’t believe it. “Just friends eh?”
“That’s not all, while I was waiting for my bag at reclaim, I get this.” I show her my cell again.
‘Why are you ignoring me?’
“Wow!” Jen says, rolling her eyes. “You’ve got problems.”
“You don’t say.”
“What are you going to do?”
I sigh. “I want to say nothing, but I’ll have to make sure she gets the message before Liv arrives.”
“Well, I don’t envy you.”
“Thanks!”
Jen heads off to let me unpack and get ready to see my folks. As soon as I close the door, I pull out my cell and text Liv.
‘Landed, safe and sound. Miss you like crazy. I love you and I can’t wait till you get here xxx’
The doorbell rings and I wonder what Jen has forgotten. I open the door and Brooke is standing there.
“Hi,” she grins and moves in to kiss or hug me, I’m not sure which, but I don’t wait to see. I step back.
“What do you want Brooke?” I ask as calmly as possible.
“There’s no need to get nasty.”
“I’m not getting nasty, but I’ve told you, I’m with someone now.”
“Okay, but you’re back, it can’t be that serious. I came to keep you company,” she purrs, seductively, reaching out to place her hand on my chest.
Ugh! It makes my skin crawl to think I’ve been with her, many times. She’s hideous, not looks-wise, just as a person.
“No,” I say firmly, grabbing her hand and moving it away. “I’m only back to pack up. I’m moving to England.”
She looks completely disgusted by the idea.
“But you’ve known her, like, a month.”
I laugh. “Not that it matters, but I’ve known her practically my whole life.” I pull the door half closed next to me. “Now, you need to hear this. What we had was nothing serious and it was only when we were both available. I. AM. IN. LOVE. WITH. SOMEONE. NOW. And I'm asking you to please respect that.”
She looks at me in shock for a moment and then bursts into tears. Jesus! Why is this happening to me?
"Don't cry Brooke." I half warn, half beg. I remain firmly on my side of the door and while I strongly suspect it's all an act, the nice guy in me hates to see a girl crying on the doorstep.
"Sorry," she sniffs, wiping carefully under her eye, so as not to mess up her make-up. "I just missed you, I hadn't seen you around in a while and then I heard you'd left. It made me realise that we had something pretty special and it was gone."
"Brooke, what we were doing wasn't anything but convenient for both of us. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s over."
She continues to wipe at her eyes with her plastic-nailed fingers, trying to save her overdone make-up and, I'm no expert, but I suspect, probably false eyelashes. She’s wearing a short tight skirt and a low-cut tight top. Looking at her now, Liv fresh in my mind, I’ve no idea what I was ever thinking! She's kind of a tramp.
"Do you have a Kleenex?" she asks.
"Sure," I reply, leaving her on the doorstep to find some. When I return, I’m irritated to find that she’s stepped inside. I offer her a tissue from the box. She takes a couple and dabs at her eyes.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I just thought if I came here, you might, you know." She shrugs.
"What?" I ask, exasperated.
"Want to hook up, for old time’s sake."
"Well that's where you and I are two very different people. "I don't operate that way."
"Okay," she says, nodding. "Okay. I'm sorry. I won't bother you again, I can see you're really serious about this girl."
"She's the love of my life."
"Well I'm glad you're happy." Brooke opens the door, then pauses and turns and puts her arms around me. I stand rigid and unresponsive, while she gives me a squeeze and a peck on the cheek. I’m repulsed but I want to get her out of here the fastest way possible. She eventually let's go when I give nothing in return and steps outside.
"Goodbye Danny."
"Goodbye Brooke."
I close the door and take a deep breath. That was creepy and perhaps too easy. I drag myself away from the door and flop down on my bed. I need a nap. I look at the clock. I can fit a couple of hours in before dinner at Mom and Dad’s. I set the alarm on my cell and immediately drift off.
I pull my truck into the driveway at my parents’ house and the front door opens. Dad comes out to meet me with a warm hug.
"Isn't anyone going to let me in on this?"
We both open an arm to include Mom in the hug and she settles between us. We are not usually so affectionate as a family, but I’ve been away a while, when they weren’t expecting me to go. Plus I’ve told them I’m going back for good. We just hold each other for a while.
“Come inside,” Mom says, patting us both to end the hug. “Your father is making one of his specialties.”
I look to Dad. “Uh oh, this isn’t from another of your ‘World Food’ classes is it? I’ve never recovered from Ethiopian week.”
Dad defensively replies, “Ethiopian cuisine is delicious and I’ll have you know, very popular.”
“I know Dad.” I laugh as we walk into the house. “Just not the way you cook it!”
Dad shakes his head slowly and jokes. “Such disrespect…and from my only child.”
We head into the kitchen and I get two beers and settle at the counter. Dad pours Mom a wine.
“So how are things going with Liv?” he asks as he hands her the glass.
I swallow my beer. “Great, really great.”
“And you’re sure about this move?” Mom asks, with maternal concern in her voice.
“I’m certain.” I assure her. “I’ll miss you guys and Jen, but I really want to do this. I love her.”
“We know you do son,” says Dad. “You always have. We’re really happy you’re finally doing something about it.”
I offer Dad a small, appreciative smile. I’m glad he understands.
We eat a Mexican feast. Luckily, a cuisine my father excels at. Dad and I put away a few beers and talk about England and how it has changed since we left. We talk about what I’ll do for work and about Liv’s business. They both seem impressed by what she’s done with the old tearoom. I show them some pictures. Dad wants to hear all about people I’ve seen, places we’ve been. He’s keen to come and spend some time with us, once I have settled in. After Mom goes to bed, he turns the conversation back to Liv.
“I always wondered why you didn’t try to stay behind when we left,” he muses, which throws me a little.
I frown. “Why?”
“Well, when we decided to come back, your mother and I thought you’d be very resistant to the idea. We’d thought up all sorts of strategies, to make you come with us, but in the end you just came quietly.”
“I guess I wasn’t ready.” I shrug. I could tell him about my failed plan, but I don’t want him to lose respect for me.
“You did the right thing, you know. Showed a lot of maturity.” He reaches forward and pats my hand. “And look at you now, well respected in your field, got the pick of work and got the girl in the end too.” He smiles and raises his beer. “I’m really proud of you.”
“Thanks Dad,” I say, raising my beer. “But I have you to thank that I can just up and move so easily.”
“I always wanted you to have the choice. I know you talk like an American, but you’re a Brit too. You promise me you’ll do the same for your kids one day.”
“Whoa, Dad, one step at a time,” I say almost choking on my beer. I feel so transparent. It’s unnerving. I want all those things with Liv. Dad gives me a knowing smile. Swigging back the rest of my beer I say, “I think I’ll turn in.” I get up and collect our empties. “Thanks for tonight.”
“Glad to have you back,” he replies. “Sleep well.”
“Night,” I say over my shoulder as I head up the stairs to the guest room. Mom has left the bedside light on for me. Once I’m ready for bed, I take my cell and crawl under the covers. I check my messages. But there has been nothing new since the reply from Liv that came while I was sleeping earlier. I check the world clock app; it’s 11pm here, so it is 7am there. Will she be up? I decide to take the risk, she won’t mind if I wake her. I just want to hear her voice.
It rings twice and she picks up.
“Hello?”
She sounds wide awake.
“I didn’t wake you did I?”
“No, I’m awake. Mum called me half an hour ago and woke me up, Grace’s contractions have started.”
“Really?” I sound happy, when really I couldn’t care less about Grace’s contractions. It just means I’ll have Liv here soon. “That’s great, so when are you flying in?”
“I don’t know, I’ll talk to Connie this morning, probably a couple of days, weekend flights are really expensive.”
I sigh. “Just come now, I’ll pay,” I plead only half joking.
She laughs. “I know, I miss you too. But I’ll be there soon. Spend some time with everyone, before I get there.”
“Screw them,” I joke. “I want you.”
“Me too, I hate this, the bed feels big without you.”
“I’m all alone in a big bed right now…Fancy some phone action?”
“Oh stop!”
“God I want you,” I sigh.
“So how are your parents?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Really good, I’m in their guest room, actually. I had a few beers with Dad.”
“Good. I’m worried about seeing them. Do they think I’m stealing you away?”
“No! They’re really happy for us. Dad is already planning a visit.”
“That’s a relief. So what do you have planned?”
“I’m going to go to sleep now, then on Saturday mornings I usually have breakfast with Scott and Jen.”
“Just like me and Max.”
“I know.”
“Well, you should get some sleep and I have to get up.”
“Okay,” I say reluctantly. “Call me when you know your flights.”
“Will do. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
The line goes dead and I sigh. My blood is racing and I have an overwhelming feeling of panic. I know deep down it is because of my worrying urge at the airport today. I need to talk to Jen about this. She’s the only person I ever told about the ring. She’ll get overexcited and tell me to propose. But she’s the only person that knows the full history; I’ve no choice but talk to her about it.