Authors: Kerry Heavens
"It's okay, I went back on the pill last week. Today's the first day I'm protected."
I frown. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She shrugs. “A week is a long time to wait. I thought it would drag if you were waiting too.”
“Are you sure about this?”
She nods and smiles. I relax and moan loudly as she lets me all the way in. The feel of bare skin inside her is incredible, most of my relationships have been short-lived or casual, so I’ve only gone bareback with one other girl, a long time ago. She was on the pill and we were together over a year. Since then, I got used to rubbers, but this…this is unbelievable. As Liv begins to ride me, I put my hands behind me on the bed to keep us upright. The sensation is overwhelming, I can't imagine ever going back to rubbers now that I've had this. I’ll always want to experience her this way. She’s incredible.
She loves it like this, me sitting with my feet on the floor and her on top; it pushes all the right buttons. I watch her as she gets more and more into it. She’s so beautiful. She starts rocking back while she holds onto my shoulders. I sit forward a little and wrap my arms around her, pressing our bodies together. She lets out a long, low sound as the friction changes and then starts to rock faster. I help her by lifting her slightly, but she’s in control. She keeps going, her eyes are closed, but I can’t take mine away from her. She tips her head back, extending her neck and I accept the invitation and kiss and bite her there. She gasps as my teeth sink into her skin, but I know she loves it. I trail my gentle bites of her skin lower and lower, until I reach her breasts. I pause while Liv keeps moving.
She knows I’m making her wait, so she grabs her breast and feeds her nipple to me. I grin as I suck it hard, knowing this will really put her over the edge. She moans loudly as I bite down on it and really picks up her pace. She’s lost now and it’s just a matter of how long she can hold out. She slams onto me and I bite down again, finishing her off and she cries out my name as she spirals down from her orgasm. She breathlessly continues to rock gently and I feel her clenching inside, until she slows to a stop.
She looks at me and smiles. I sweep her hair away from her face and kiss her. I press into her again, causing her to moan and reminding her that I’m still hard inside her. She kisses me and with one last tilt of her hips, she stands up, dropping straight to her knees between my legs and takes me in her hand. I sigh as she works her hand up and down. It feels so amazing, wet from being inside her, to be stroked like that. Her hand glides smoothly over the slick skin.
Liv holds my gaze as she lowers her head and takes me in her mouth and I moan as I feel her tongue swirl around me. She glides up and down, sucking me deeper and deeper. She’s getting so into going really deep and she’s great at it too. I’ve never met a girl like her before; she seems to actually like it. While she works her magic, I watch her. I’m able to hold back a little now, since the shock value has subsided, but watching her is still a huge part of the experience. Her hair has fallen around her face and I want to see her mouth stretched wide around me, so I scoop all her hair and hold it behind her in a ponytail, following her up and down. I moan with each stroke now and I want to push myself hard into her, but I let her control the depth..
Then, just as I am dreaming of it, she pushes down hard on me and I feel the resistance at the back of her throat. I push slightly on the back of her head and briefly go further still down her throat. She gags; the magical sound, but I hold her there. She has told me she likes this loss of control and I’m only too happy to oblige. She pulls back slightly and I push her down again, then, gagging, she rips her face away, gasping for air. She gives me a sly satisfied smile. She gets to her feet. She’s been in control, now it’s my turn.
I grab her wrist and toss her onto the bed, climbing on top of her as she lands. She’s pinned on her front beneath me and while she wriggles until she is comfortable, I lick from the base of her spine up to her neck, she groans with pleasure. Moving back so that I’m kneeling over her legs, I slide my arm under her waist and lift her onto her knees. I sit back on my heels and stroke my hands over her perfect ass, slipping my fingers between her legs and slowly into her. I smile as she lets out a long moan at the feeling of my fingers moving inside her. I spend some time teasing her this way. She’s unbelievably wet.
I remember, suddenly that I don’t need a condom, why am I stalling when I could be inside her, skin to skin. I pull my fingers out abruptly, causing her to gasp, and position myself behind her. Sinking slowly into her, I savor every single inch until I am buried in her all the way, then I draw in and out of her with long strokes, the sensation is amazing. I change my position, so that my legs are on the outside of Liv's, encouraging her to close hers some. As her thighs press together around me, the sensation changes, she feels so incredibly tight.
Dropping down onto my hands and knees over her, I naturally increase my pace, pushing Liv lower under me. Before long she’s lying almost flat beneath me and I’m lying with my full weight on her. Her legs are closed together, making her even tighter. I reach forward and grab her wrists, pinning her to the bed, leaving her helpless, while I drive myself into her. She moans loudly, letting me know she likes it, so I don't hold back. Suddenly, she gets tighter, I don't know how or why but this makes it impossible for me to hold back anymore and I explode into her, moaning incoherently.
I come to rest breathlessly on top of her, as she too calms down from her garbled moans. We pant together for a few seconds until I realise I'm still holding her down. I release her wrists and take some of my weight on my elbows. I smooth her hair away from her face and kiss her cheek. She smiles.
"I love you," I whisper.
"I love you too," she whispers back.
I know I'm going to have to move, or I'll squash her, but I'm so drained and I'm still inside her. Taking a deep breath I force myself to roll off her, pulling out as I go. I fall into my pillow and moan, my breathing still ragged. Liv sighs beside me but doesn't move.
"That was incredible.".
She turns to face me. "I know!" she giggles.
"I don't know what happened at the end there, but you were like a fucking vice! What did you do?"
"Sorry, I crossed my legs to make it tighter.”
"Don't apologise, it was fabulous. You were already tight, but that was another level."
"I've got another trick like that. I'll show you sometime," she says with a wicked smile.
"Hmmm." I turn onto my front so that our faces are almost touching. "I can't wait."
"I have to move," she sighs, not moving at all.
I watch her, having an internal battle, then reluctantly, she drags herself up and disappears to the bathroom. I grin to myself; I’m a lucky guy.
I am almost asleep when she returns.
"Hey!" she exclaims, slapping my bare butt. "You're sleeping!"
"No I'm not." I grin, closing my eyes tighter. She pokes my side, I ignore it. She climbs on top of me, I ignore that too. Then she tickles me, she has me pinned, so she has the advantage for a moment and I can’t help my laughter as I fight to defend myself. But then I manage to take back control and I turn the tables on her, while she shrieks with laughter. I notice with slight disappointment that she has underwear on.
“Hey, why did you put panties on?”
“Panties,” she says, testing the word. “I love the way you say that.”
“How else would I say it?”
“Knickers,” she says bluntly. So British. “I love that way you say it.” She smiles. “And I love you.”
I sink back down beside her. “I’m going to miss you, even if it’s only for a few days.”
“I’ll miss you too, but you should spend some time with Jen and your parents before you come back, I’ll get in the way of that. Besides I have a feeling the baby will come soon, Andy says Grace is the size of a house!” She laughs at the thought of that. From what I remember of Grace, I imagine she’s a nightmare pregnant.
Liv sits up. “Come on, let’s have a shower.”
I drop my head back onto the bed. How can she be so energetic?
“Come on,” she calls from the door.
I wave my hand dismissively.
“I’ll be right behind you,” I say to humour her. I so don’t want to get up, I think I might just stay here a while. From the dresser, my cell rings. I sigh and reluctantly drag myself off the bed.
I groan when I see the caller ID. It’s Brooke. Why is she calling? I reject the call. I’m sure I’ll find out what she wants when I get back. I just know she won’t have good intentions and I won’t have her ruin this for me. I think back to Jen and Scott warning me off her in the beginning. Jen in particular has always detested her, and I ignored them…what harm could friends with benefits do? Except, without the benefits, I don’t think I would want to be friends. Liv has given me the clarity to see that Brooke has been a huge lack of judgement on my part. Now I just have to make sure that Brooke gets the message and keeps away from me from now on.
I also have a Facebook notification.
Jennifer Hendricks tagged you in a post.
I open Facebook to see what she said.
Picking up my boy Danny Morgan tomorrow from LAX. So excited to see him!
So maybe Brooke saw that, and that’s why she called. Oh well, I shrug to myself, she would have found out I was back in town from someone. Shaking it off, I join Liv in the shower.
I wake to Liv bouncing on the bed, waking me up. She tempts me with some more of last night’s action, but I need to get ready for the flight so she makes me breakfast instead. We’re quiet as we eat, both thinking about being apart.
My cell, which has been on silent since Brooke called last night, lights up on the table beside me. Shit, it’s a message from Brooke! I snatch it up and scan the message quickly, before clearing it off.
Hey! I tried calling you. I hear you’re coming back. Can I see you? Just friends ;-) xxx
I glance up and Liv is watching me. I know it’s bad but I lie and tell her it’s from Mom. It’s bad enough that I won’t be with her; I don’t want her worrying about Brooke, especially as there’s nothing to worry about. I’ll take care of it. I put my cell in my pocket before it causes any more trouble.
I finish up and start getting my things ready to go, while Liv clears the dishes. She didn’t eat much, I hope it’s just because I’m going away and not because she’s suspicious. Now I feel guilty and I haven’t done anything wrong. Okay, I just lied, but only to protect her. Fucking Brooke, Jen was so right about her, she’s trouble.
I hold Liv’s hand as we walk into the terminal building and we wait in line for check in together. We don’t say much; we’re both a little off today. I keep having to remind myself that we will be together again in a few days, it’s not the end of the world. But with this Brooke shit hanging over my head and the fact that I won’t have Liv with me, I am dreading going home.
We reach Passport Control and Liv can’t go any further. So I stop and look at her.
“I love you,” I smile. “And I’m never going to let you go.”
Maybe it is going away from her, I don’t know, but I get the urge to say more…Offer her more commitment. Feeling panic rising in me, I slam the brakes on that thought and try to remain calm enough to finish saying goodbye.
“I love you too,” she whispers, fighting tears. I kiss her and pour everything I feel for her into it, not caring who sees.
“See you, beautiful,” I say managing to keep my voice steady as we hug. Then I head through security, waving before she’s out of sight.
I wait in line at security and go through the motions in a daze. I’m rattled by my sudden urge to offer her a huge commitment. What was I proposing? Proposing? Sweat has formed on my brow. There’s no way I can allow myself to think like that. Look what happened last time, I remind myself.
I settle into a seat looking out across the airport with a coffee and stare unseeing into the distance. Of course I know I want to marry her, I always have, I just haven’t thought about it for a long time. Not since we were kids. I know now it was crazy, but I bought a ring and had a plan. A terrible plan, but a plan nonetheless. I didn’t want to lose her. I was being made to leave England and I couldn’t stand the thought of a future without her. I wanted her to come with me, or I wanted to stay, I don’t know. But I thought our parents would take us more seriously if we were engaged. Looking back, I realise they probably would have taken us less seriously. But I was certain it was the answer.
I went to Liv and tried to talk to her about not wanting to go, but she was emphatic about it, she said it would be the best thing for us. She said young relationships rarely last a lifetime and that we should go our separate ways and experience life. I was devastated. I spent the rest of my time in the UK drifting around like a zombie. I realised then that she didn’t love me like I loved her. I never told her about the ring and I clung on to the rest of our time together, because I knew I would never see her again once I left.
I’ve never loved anyone else, not even close. I still have the ring. I just don’t think there’s any way I could bring myself to go there again. The thought of the heartache brings the shutters down. Now that I have her again, I’m in it for the long haul; whatever comes along, nothing will faze me. I’m committed, I’m moving to be with her and I’ve had no doubts whatsoever. But just then, I felt like I wanted to offer something more and that really has freaked me out. My worst fear, rational or not, has always been that she knew what I was going to do and was pushing me away to stop me from proposing, so that she didn’t have to say no. Jen thinks I’m nuts, but then, she’s afraid of moths. Moths can’t actually hurt you, but the agony of that sort of rejection stays with you for life.
I take a sip of my coffee and it’s stone cold. I’ve sat here for an hour and all I know is that I love Liv, I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to seal the deal. My cell beeps.