Kane Samantha - Brothers in arms 1 (21 page)

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The Courage To Love

Both Kate and Jason had kissed him, licked his nipples, and sent his senses reeling. It was with a sense of euphoria he had finally come, as hard as the first time, wanting to give both of them his seed, his climax.

“Gentlemen, it’s time,” someone called, and Jason broke eye contact, plunging Tony back into the present. He reached out and gripped Freddie’s hand.

Freddie’s look was commiserating. “Yes, it’s harder when you’re in love with them, isn’t it? It’s hard to see them in danger.”

Tony glanced at him, momentarily startled out of his own misery. “Brett?” he asked simply.

“Yes,” Freddie sighed. “I thought you already knew.”

“We suspected,” Tony confirmed, “but you two are hardly loverlike, and I know you both frequently take female lovers.”

Freddie snorted in a very un-Duke-like fashion. “He won’t touch me. Says I’m too young and impressionable to know my own mind, and he won’t corrupt me that way.”

His sarcasm couldn’t hide the pain in his voice. “He can be such a pompous ass sometimes.” He looked away, then looked back with a grin. “As for the ladies, who doesn’t like a little pussy now and then? I can’t be a monk, no matter how much I love Brett.”

Tony found himself smiling, but the smile faded as he looked over and saw Jason and Robertson standing at the ready, waiting for the count.

“I have such an awful feeling, Freddie,” he told the duke. “As if doom were hanging over all our heads.”

“That’s just indigestion and lack of sleep,” the young nobleman assured him.

Kate was shocked when she woke to an empty bed. It wasn’t like Jason and Tony to leave her alone, not after the incredible night they had shared. In spite of her lack of sleep, she leaped from the bed, some instinct telling her something was horribly wrong.

She slowed only long enough to grab Tony’s heavy dressing gown and wrap it around herself.

She hurried out into the hall. Only when the quiet of the house registered did she realize how early it was. Her sense of impending disaster increased and she flew down the stairs.

“Jenkins,” she yelled, uncaring whom she might wake up. “Jenkins! Where are you?”

He stepped out of the breakfast parlor, a used plate in his hands. “Yes, madame?”

He insisted on addressing her as if she and Jason were already married, and she found it rather endearing.

“Where are they, Jenkins? They can’t be up to any good.”

“I was instructed to tell you when you arose, madame, that they had business to attend to, and would return later.”

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He turned away, but not soon enough. Kate could clearly see he was distressed. She grabbed his arm and turned him back toward her. “Tell me, Jenkins,” she commanded him sternly. “I shall never forgive you if you don’t.”

“Madame, I have served his lordship’s family since before he was born. I cannot willfully disobey his instructions.” He was getting more agitated by the minute.

Kate decided to call out the reinforcements. Jenkins had developed a soft spot for Very in the last two days, and Kate hoped she could wheedle the information out of him.

She let go of his arm and marched back to the bottom of the stairs. “Veronica!” she screeched at the top of her lungs. By now, sleepy footmen, hastily dressed, were beginning to appear, their curiosity evident.

Veronica answered in kind. “I’m coming, for God’s sake, stop your yelling! I didn’t do it, I swear!” She appeared at the top of the stairs in a hastily donned wrap, her young, blossoming body barely covered. Most of the footmen transferred their avid attention to her.

“Miss Veronica,” Jenkins gasped, “your attire is unseemly.”

Kate pointed an accusing finger at him, looking like one of the Furies of old. “Make him tell me where Jason and Tony have gone.”

Veronica fairly flew down the stairs giving the footmen an eyeful of shapely leg and bouncing breasts. More than one sighed at his good fortune at finding a position in Lord Randall’s household.

“Ohhh, I knew they were up to no good when I heard their horses brought ‘round this morning.”

Kate rounded on her sharply. “When?”

Veronica skidded to a halt in front of Jenkins, and he moved to place her behind him, trying to hide her from the footmen.

“To your duties, immediately!” he barked at them.

Veronica peeked at Kate around him. “About an hour or more, I think.”

Kate began to pace. “What on earth kind of business can two gentlemen have before the sun even rises? I…” suddenly she stuttered to a stop, her face going white. She spun back to Jenkins. “It’s a duel, isn’t it? One of them is going to duel Robertson.”

She held out a hand to Veronica, her suspicions confirmed by the wretched look on his face. “Where would gentlemen go to do that sort of thing, Very?” Her voice was trembling.

“Well, the park, I think. There’s an out-of-the-way field, hidden by trees where I’ve heard it said duels take place.”

Kate rushed toward the stairs. “Have the carriage brought ‘round immediately, Jenkins,” she yelled, racing up. When he didn’t move, she stopped and glared at him over the banister. “If you do not, I will engage a hackney, and I will sack your sorry self as soon as I get home, and don’t think I won’t.”

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Jenkins didn’t doubt it for a moment. If he had had any worries about Kate’s ability to assume the role of countess, her tone had erased them. She spoke with a fury and command only the nobility could pull off.

Very raced after her. “I’m coming too, Aunt Kate!”

It took less than thirty seconds, but to Tony it seemed an eternity. He saw Robertson turn before the count was complete; saw the puff of smoke from his pistol when he fired even as Tony yelled out a warning. Then he saw Jason fall, and his own heart stopped for moment. He started running, vaguely aware of shouting and more pistol shots. It was as if he were looking down a long tunnel and all he could see at the end was Jason’s crumpled body.

He fell to his knees beside Jason, gathering him in his arms, and suddenly the sounds and shapes of the world around him came back with a startling clarity. He could smell the metallic scent of Jason’s blood, the acrid smoke of pistol fire, the sandalwood of Jason’s cologne. He heard Doctor Peters shouting orders and looked up to see him running toward them. He looked blurry. Why did he look blurry? And over it all the sound of a woman screaming over and over. With a shiver he realized it was Kate.

“Kate!” he screamed. “Kate!” If only Kate were here, it would be all right. Kate would make everything right again.

The screaming stopped, only to be replaced by sobbing as Kate fell to the grass next to him. “Jason,” she moaned. “Oh God, Jason.”

She buried her face in Tony’s chest, sobbing, even as she wrapped one arm protectively around Jason’s fallen form.

“Kate, Tony, you must let me see to him.” The doctor’s voice was urgent, and Tony felt hands pulling him back as the doctor and Brett lowered Jason to the ground. He wrapped his arms tightly around Kate, tried to anchor himself in the present. He had to be strong now. Suddenly Very was there, too, hugging them both tightly, crying, and Tony came to his senses.

“How is he?” he rasped, needing to know the worst before he could move on.

They had pulled back Jason’s coat and torn his shirt away. Brett held him up gently while the doctor poked at his shoulder. “He’s been shot in the shoulder. It looks as if the bullet went right through, though he’s lost quite a bit of blood.” He sounded confused as he began to look at Jason’s head. “Ah, he must have hit his head when he fell. Brett, do you see a rock?”

Brett looked around. “Yes, right over there.”

“That must be why he’s still unconscious. This bullet wouldn’t have done that.” He stood up, wiping the blood from his hands. “Let’s get him home, where I can treat him properly.”

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They brought him home in his own carriage, the one Kate and Very had used to get to the duel site. Their arrival produced a flurry of activity as servants rushed to obey the doctor’s orders. Kate and Tony never left Jason’s side, clinging to one another, refusing to even think, much less talk, about the future. All that mattered was Jason, and making him better.

That evening Jason was still unconscious. Tony and Kate sat with him, Tony in a chair by the bed holding one hand, Kate lying next to him holding his other. They had barely spoken to one another all day. Words hadn’t been necessary. With looks and touches, they comforted each other, gaining strength from the mere presence of the other.

“He whistles when he sleeps,” Tony suddenly muttered, staring hard at Jason. His skin was the color of wax, his features unnaturally relaxed.

Kate chuckled. “I wondered at first what that was last night. I like it. It makes me feel safe, because I can hear him, and I know he’s there.”

“Drove me insane the first few months, in our tent. Then one night he wasn’t there, and I found I couldn’t sleep without it.” Tony shook his head in wonderment. “The things you love about another person can be very strange.”

“He can be so sweet, and he’s always so serious. I can’t tell you how surprised I was to find him both dominant and teasing when we’re making love.”

Tony looked at Kate, really looked at her. “How do you really feel about Jason and me, Kate?” He shook his head as she started to speak. “No, I know you love us. I mean, how do you feel about Jason and I desiring one another? It wasn’t supposed to happen.” He needed to hear the truth from her. Over the course of this long day, Tony realized they had never asked her.

Kate leaned up on her arm and looked at him, tears awash in her eyes. “Oh, Tony, it seemed the most natural thing in the world, you and Jason wanting each other as I want you. How could you not? When we’re all together, it’s so intense, the feelings, I can’t imagine it not affecting you both.” She looked down and Jason, and smoothed a hand over his brow, brushing his hair away. “And you’ve been through so much together.

Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t realize you loved one another sooner.”

She didn’t look at him as she asked her next question. “Do you still want me, you and Jason?”

That brought Tony out of his chair. He climbed on the bed behind Kate, cuddling her close. “Of course we want you, darling. You are what we’ve always dreamed about.

Being with you gave us the courage to be together. I love the person you make Jason when we’re with you, and what you make me. We’re different now than we were before. Perhaps that’s why we finally chose to become lovers.” His grip tightened around her. “Or will be, once he wakes the hell up.”

Kate clutched his arms about her. “I love you both so much, Tony. I don’t know what I’ll do if Jason dies because of me.”

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Tony shook her lightly. “Don’t ever say that again, Kate. This was not your fault, it’s Robertson’s. If we are to trace the blame, then it more rightly belongs on Jason and my shoulders, for not telling you how we felt before you became Robertson’s mistress.”

“Oh what a mess we’ve made of things, Tony. I can’t stand the what-ifs, the guilt, anymore. I need us to be together, the three of us, forever.”

Tony buried his face in her unbound hair. “Do you mean it, Kate? Will you marry us?”

“Yes, Tony. As soon as Jason wakes, I’ll marry you.”

Kate fell into a troubled sleep, but Tony was restless. He got up without disturbing Kate and resumed his vigil by the bed. When Jason started thrashing about a few hours later, Tony grabbed him to hold him down, and was shocked by the scorching heat of his skin. Thus began three days of hell.

Jason’s wound had become infected. Several of their friends came by to help, and they ended up taking turns sitting at Jason’s side, wiping his fevered brow, and holding him down when his fever made him delirious. Doctor Peters moved in, but rather than take one of the guest suites, he set up a cot in Jason’s room so he would always be available.

In his feverish murmurings always it was Kate’s and Tony’s names he cried out. It was during one of those times, on the second day, when Tony was holding him down and Kate was weeping silently at the foot of the bed that the Dowager Countess arrived.

When she came through the door and saw Jason feverishly crying out, she aged before their eyes. She could hardly walk to the bedside, her legs buckled as she stood there, and Kate rushed over to catch her before she fell.

“Doctor, please bring a chair for Lady Randall,” Kate told him, her voice gravelly from hours spent weeping.

Once she was seated by the side of the bed, Lady Randall reached out a trembling hand and touched her son’s hand. He was still now, still as death, his breath a rattle in his chest. She clutched the hand and lowered her head until it rested on the blankets.

“Oh my darling boy,” she whispered. “I’ve been such a fool.” She raised her head and reached out for Tony’s hand. He took it, awed by the courage it took her to admit her wrongs, to reach out to the man her son loved, for whom she had previously had nothing but disdain and even active dislike.

“He loves you so much. I wanted to deny it, to make him fit the mold filled by his father, and his father before him. But he isn’t like that, and never will be.” She closed her eyes, overcome with grief. “I’m so sorry, Tony, sorry that I wouldn’t see the truth until now, when it’s too late.”

“Lady Randall,” he began, his voice choked with emotion, but she waved him off.

“No, no. You must call me Mother. It’s what Jason wanted. He begged me to accept how important you were to him, but I turned deaf ears to his pleas. Now I may never 115

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have the opportunity to tell him I was wrong, to tell him that all that matters to me is his happiness.”

Tony went to his knees beside her chair, and she reached for him, clinging to his shoulders. “Where is the girl, Kate, the one he is to marry?” Her voice was weak.

Kate could barely speak through her tears. “Here I am, Lady Randall,” she said, sniffing loudly.