Authors: Megan Fields
I’d been out all morning taking photos and was heading to the studio to download them, when I see a familiar face across the street.
“Marcus.” I shout. He looks up at me and hesitantly waves. I jog over to him and he stares blankly at me. “Marcus it’s me, Jack.”
“Jack Cole. Well shit, how long’s it been?” He shakes my hand and looks me over. “You look good man. The last time I saw you, you and my brother were still running around in Spiderman pyjamas.” He jokes.
“Yeah it’s been a long time. How’s Pete?” I ask. I’d grown up with Peter and was always hanging out at his house. His older brother Marcus had been someone I’d looked up to.
“Yeah he’s real good. We’re partners in our own chain of fitness clubs. So are you back for good now?” He asks.
“Yep, and we’ve just opened up a studio across the street. I’m a photographer and Alex an artist.”
“That’s great; I love art and will have to come take a look some time. What are your plans for tonight? It’s my bachelor party; if you’re free you should come. Pete would love to see you.” I hesitate. I really wanted to see Ella tonight. “Look, here’s my card. Give me a call or text me later if you want to join us and I will send you the details.” He passes me a card and I slide it into my pocket.
“Okay sounds good.” He slaps me on the back and I head back across the street to the studio.
I let myself in to find the place empty. Thank god. I could really do with some peace and quiet to get these photos done. Sitting down at my computer I pull out my phone and text Ella.
Hey. Fancy hanging out tonight? Maybe go see a movie? J x
I get on with downloading my photos, when my phone beeps.
Hey, Jack. Sorry I have to work tonight. How about lunch tomorrow though? E x
Well I guess I can go to that bachelor party now. I message Ella back.
Lunch sounds good. See you tomorrow around 12. J x
I message Marcus to say I’m free and he sends me a time and location. I shove my phone in my pocket and get on with work.
Before I know it, it’s gotten dark outside. “Shit I’m going to be late.” I pack up and head home to get ready. I barely make it in time to the address and I’m totally confused. The address must be wrong. I’m standing in front of a Victorian property that looks more like someone’s house than a club. The only give away that it may not be a residence, is the big hulk of a man standing guard outside.
“Excuse me. I’ve been given this address, but it must be wrong. I’m looking for a club.” The huge doorman looks me up and down suspiciously.
“Name?” He bellows at me.
“Jack Cole.”
“Mr. Cole. Welcome. Your party has already arrived and is waiting for you inside.”
I walk through ornate wooden doors into what looks like a bar. It’s like a tardis in here. The club must occupy at least two of the Victorian frontages that I could see from the outside. The door slams behind me and as I look toward the end of the bar I see a familiar face. Izzy looks shocked at my presence and I soon realise why. The woman next to Izzy turns to face me. “Ella?”
I look her up and down, unable to process what I see before me.
“What’re you doing here?” She asks before I see recognition dawn in her eyes.
“I'm here for a friend’s party.” We stand and stare at each other. Neither of us moving or speaking.
Izzy steps forward. “Do you want me to take you over to your friends, or would you two like to talk?”
I raise my eyebrows at Ella, “I think we need to talk don't you?”
She stares at me before hesitantly responding, “Um, yes I think we do.”
“You can use my office.” Izzy suggests.
She breaks the stare and looks at Izzy. “Thanks” She starts to lead the way, when she stops abruptly. “Wait here a minute Jack.” I stand awkwardly in the middle of the room, as I watch her approach Izzy. She whispers something to her and then returns to lead me to an office.
I enter and walk to the desk, leaning against it; I watch her close the door and turn to face me, a wary look in her eyes.
“Jack… I don't know where to start.”
I cross my arms over my chest. I don’t mean to act closed off.
“How about you tell me why you’re here?” I decide to start with something simple.
“I work here.” She answers.
“Okay. What do you do?”
“I’m co-owner of the club with Izzy, so I do all sorts of things.”
I start to pace, thinking things through. Alex told me he’d seen Ella at a party, but that she was just the planner. That fucker knew about her working here. “I’m going to rip his head off.”
“Please don’t blame him. He only agreed to the secret, as he knew it was my place to tell you and not his.”
“I will deal with Alex.” I mutter, as I lean against the desk once more. I look her up and down, taking in her clothes. “Is that a uniform or what you chose to wear?”
“I chose to wear this tonight. Sometimes I’m more conservative and sometimes less so.”
I close my eyes and rub my hand across my forehead. “I don't understand. Why are you involved with this scene?” She walks up to me slowly and stands within my grasp. She’s too close; her perfume assaulting my senses. I straighten up, but can’t go anywhere because of the desk.
“Jack. I... I'm a Domme. I’m involved with this scene, because I’m a part of it.”
Okay, that’s not what I was expecting. I walk away from her and stand on the other side of the desk, using it as a barrier between us. I frequently look over to her, wanting to say something, but thinking better of it each time. “Why?”
She gets a defiant look in her eye as she’s about to respond. “Jack I was raped. I was abused and raped by not one but two men! I was afraid to go out for the first six months and even then I didn’t trust anyone. For three years I hid and lived a lonely life. Then I met Izzy. She introduced me to her world and it helped me take back control. I trained for a year and also took self-defence classes. Once I became a Mistress it all made sense to me. I no longer had to be afraid and I could be the one in control.” I’m trying to absorb it all. I can see her getting upset and I automatically want to comfort her, but I hold myself back.
“Why didn't you tell me? Is this why you just want to be friends?”
“I didn’t know how to tell you. As for just being friends then obviously it’s a yes. You’re not exactly submissive.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hate that my temper is starting to get the better of me.
“Calm down Jack.”
“No I won’t calm down. You and Alex have been lying to me. I’ve given you numerous chances to tell me what’s been going on, but you just don’t trust me. I knew when you ran out on me at the coffee shop that there was something more to it. After you confided in me about Eric, I thought that must’ve been it, but now it all makes sense.” My voice has risen with my anger and there’s a knock at the door. Alex walks in and stands beside Ella.
“Everyone okay in here?”
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I spit out. I stalk up to him and stand toe to toe. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He doesn’t budge and we are locked in a stalemate.
“Back up, Jack.” Alex’s voice is low and calm, but I don’t move.
“Jack?” Ella places her hand on my bicep and I flinch at her touch. I can see the hurt in her eyes at my reaction, but I can’t deal with it. My emotions are struggling to deal with it all, the betrayal I feel is deep. Alex walking in has only fuelled my fire.
“I didn’t tell you Jack, as it was not my place to do so.” I know he’s right, but I don’t want to hear it right now.
“Jack?” Ella approaches me like I’m a wild animal. “Please. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You should’ve just trusted me Ella.” I think that’s what hurts the most; the fact that she didn’t trust me enough to tell me. “I need some air.” I leave the club and start walking toward home.
I stand frozen in place. Jack has left and I feel like I’m stuck in a nightmare.
“Ella?” I look up to see Alex looking at me worriedly. “Sit down, you look like you’re about to faint.” He helps me over to the sofa and Izzy hands me a glass of water. Where’d she come from?
“Ella, are you okay?” Izzy asks, while she holds my hand. I feel numb and have no idea what to do next. “What happened?”
“He flipped out. He was really pissed that I didn’t tell him. I told him my reasons for keeping it a secret, but he said he knew something wasn’t right. He said he’s been waiting for me to confide in him and that it’s obvious I don’t trust him.”
Alex rests his hand on my shoulder, “Ella, give him time. He’ll come round.”
“I need to go home. Can you cope without me?”
“Of course I can. Let me get Tony to grab you a taxi and I’ll walk you out.”
“I can take you home Ella.” Alex offers. I change into jeans and a t-shirt and thirty minutes later we’re in front of my building.
“Thanks Alex.” I open the car door and he places his hand on my forearm.
“Give him time Ella. I’m going to go look for him now and when I find him I’ll text you okay?” I nod and get out.
As I ascend the stairs to my apartment I can’t help worrying about where Jack is right now. I know he must be angry and hurting and it’s my fault. I should’ve told him. I lock the door behind me, turn on a little lamp and pour myself a shot of brandy. I know I should go to bed, as I’m exhausted, but I don’t think I will be getting much sleep tonight. I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. I keep checking my phone, but no news from Alex.
I wake in the morning to find myself still dressed and on top of the covers. I reach over to my phone to see its 9 o’clock. I also see a text from Alex.
No sign of Jack at the apartment, club, or studio. He’ll turn up when he’s ready. A x
I make my way to the kitchen in desperate need of a brew and am filling the kettle when Lottie saunters in still in her PJ’s, which consist of pink hot pants and a vest.
“Hey, you look like crap. What’s the matter?”
“Thanks for that. I know I can count on you to tell it like it is.” She smiles and nudges my shoulder.
“What are sisters for?” I shake my head and sit down on a stool. “Ella, what is it”?
“Jack came by the club last night.” Her eyes widen and she sits down next to me.
“Oh shit!”
“Oh shit, indeed. So now he knows I’m a Mistress and he’s pretty pissed I didn’t tell him. He thinks I don’t trust him, but that’s not why I kept it a secret.” I put my face in my hands as fresh tears spring from my eyes. Lottie puts her arm around my shoulder to comfort me, when there’s a knock at the door. I get up to answer it and find Alex looking like he hasn’t slept either.
“Hey, any sign of him?”
“No, not yet; I’m guessing he stayed at a friend’s or something.” He looks over to the kitchen where Lottie’s standing in her little pink pyjamas. I see him gulp as he drinks in the sight of her.
“I’m just going to go get dressed.” She slinks off to her room and I pour Alex a cup of tea.
“So, no word from Jack then?” He asks.
“No, nothing. Tell me this is all going to be okay. I can’t lose him again.” Alex rounds the breakfast bar and pulls me into a hug.
“It’s going to be fine Ella, and if he can’t accept who you are, it’s his loss. Let’s just give him some time to cool off.” Alex calms me down and I know he’s right. I’ll give him some time and then try to explain.
It’s been a week since I found out about Ella. In that time, she’s tried to get in contact with me, but I’ve ignored her. It started off with her coming to the apartment a few days after. I wasn’t there, but she slipped a note under my door.
Jack,
I’m sorry. You know where I am if you want to talk.
Ella x
Then she came by the studio a couple of days after that, or so Alex informed me. I haven’t seen him this week either, but he called me and left a voice mail. I was starting to miss her, her laugh, her smile, that damn perfume which drives me to distraction. On Friday she sent me a text.
Jack. Please talk to me. I will be at the club tomorrow night, I hope you stop by. E x
It’s Saturday morning and I crashed at Pete’s last night. I wake up with a half empty bottle of bourbon in my hand. Thank god I only drank half; otherwise I might feel even worse than I already do. Sitting up, it feels like my head is pounding. Finally I realise it’s someone at the door. I stagger to it, wondering where Pete is and open it to find Izzy in front of me.
“Izzy? What do you want? Wait, how’d you even know I was here?” I ask. Izzy barges past me and makes her way to what I assume is the kitchen. “Do come in.” I say sarcastically. I find her sitting at the dining table.
“Sit down.”
“I don’t take commands.” I cross my arms across my chest in defiance and lean against the door frame.
“Please? I just want to talk to you. Ella has no idea I’m here.” I can see in her eyes that she’s concerned, so I relent and sit down.
“What do you want to say?”
“Jack, I’m sorry you found out about Ella the way you did, but I want you to understand the why before you write her off.”
“I’m listening.” I would never write Ella off, but Izzy doesn’t need to know that.
“What you have to understand about Ella, is that she cares about everyone else more than herself. She puts everyone else’s needs above her own. When I first met her, she was quiet, shy, and had no confidence in herself and no faith in humanity.”
“That doesn’t sound like Ella.”
“Exactly; being raped and abused nearly destroyed her. If it weren’t for Lottie I’m not sure Ella would be around.” My eyes widen at this and I gulp. This can’t be true. “When I met Lottie for the first time I could see the real Ella. She came out of herself in the company of her sister and I knew that my initial instincts about her becoming a Mistress were spot on. It took a fair bit of persuasion, but once she started at the club she ended up coming to me and asking to be trained. She saw the respect, trust and loyalty that can come from the type of relationship you can have with a sub and she craved it.”
“I can understand that, but why didn’t she tell me?”
“It goes back to putting others first. She’s in love with you. Like crazy in love with you, but Ella being Ella, she thinks you deserve someone normal. She thinks that she isn’t normal and to be honest it pisses me off. People have the misconception about BDSM and it is for freaks, but it’s not. When you see and feel the kind of connection that can only come from trusting someone that much, well to be honest it takes your breath away.”
I throw my hands up in the air. “I have no problem with Ella being a Domme. I’m just hurt about her not trusting me. I told her I’d be there for her however she needed me and it still wasn’t enough.”
Izzy stands and walks to the kitchen door to leave. She turns back and looks at me seriously. “Jack, Ella’s one in a million. If you love her, then forgive her. If you want to be with her, then show her. She’ll be at the club tonight and if you want I can help you. Think about it and let me know. But if you think for one second that you are going to make her feel guilty about her life choices, you’re going to have me to deal with.” She levels me with a look and then walks out and leaves me in silence.