Lyttelton's Britain (18 page)

The area is also well-known for coal, iron, beer and pottery. It was in 1739 that the famous Wedgwood factory was set up at nearby Burslem. Soon their distinctive stoneware pots were in great demand by the townsfolk, who would use them to quaff copious quantities of the local ale, later taking full advantage of the fine porcelain products from the nearby Royal Doulton works.

A well-known neighbouring town which has recently become involved in the local art of brewing is Bournville. Traditionally associated with chocolate, Bournville has taken advantage of its natural springs for the production of lager, which is why there’s a glass and a half of water in every pint.

But a stone’s throw away is Newcastle-under-Lyme, so-named after a ‘new castle’ was built under ‘Lyme’ forest. Nearby, they constructed a feather store on the site of an old scrap yard and recycling centre. And so was born the charming village of ‘Down in the Dumps’.

Famous local characters include Thomas Minton, the
inventor of ‘Minton’, Josiah Spode, the inventor of ‘Spode’, and Edward Knoblock, who luckily for some of us, didn’t invent anything.

Stoke-born John Barrington Wain, a writer in the ‘anti-bourgoise realist’ tradition, shot to fame with his witty first novel,
Hurry On Down
. This spawned the great
Hurry On
series, including
Hurry on Doctor, Hurry On Nurse
and most recently,
Hurry On Ambulance, the Nearest Bed is Ninety Miles Away
.

Other famous local names include the writer Arnold Bennett, who during a visit to Paris, wrote his popular Staffordshire ‘Five Towns’ novels, after an exchange of ideas with Flaubert. And it’s surprising what proportion of
Madame Bovary
is influenced by the industrial landscape of 19th Century Stoke. As far as scholars can make out, not a single word.

In 1925, these five surrounding towns were subsumed, and officially formed into the new city of Stoke. And what a relief it was to the long-suffering supporters of ‘Burslem, Fenton, Hanley, Longton, Tunstall and Stoke-upon-Trent Rangers FC’, who every Saturday had to respond to the call: ‘Give us a “B”’.

According to the comedian and football historian, Barry Cryer, the great Sir Stanley Matthews comes from Stoke. Rated as the finest controllers of the ball ever, Matthews played professionally well into his fifties. (
Note: But football isn’t the only place fans go to see an astonishingly old man dribbling in public. And for those who haven’t caught Barry’s one man show, I’m told he’s ‘unmissable’. So remember to take plenty of vegetables
.)

I have to thank Barry for permission to reproduce this fascinating anecdote from his autobiography
Barry Cryer, My
Life Was a Joke
, which includes several more stories about the many rich, famous and talented people that Barry has heard of.

Her Majesty the Queen does her marvellous Barry Cryer impression

B
UXTON
is a delightful spa town but has few claims to fame. The fact that it can proudly boast that Tim Brooke-Taylor was born there is surely proof enough. In honour of his many achievements, Buxton recently bestowed upon Tim the freedom of the city of Sheffield.

The town is of course world famous for high quality mineral waters from its ancient spa. Although I am required to point out that they are also available from other good supermarkets. Scientists recently worked out that the limestone-filtered water that we drink today is nearly 5000 years old, when they read on the label the words ‘best before July 4900
BC
’.

An architectural highlight of the town is the Royal Hospital which was formerly the Duke of Devonshire’s Great Stables, housing his 110 racehorses. As a result, the first four patients contracted equine distemper. On the plus side, the hospital garden’s roses are doing very well.

Another fine local building is Chatsworth House. According to the official guide, it contains portraits by Van Dyke and work by Franz Hals and Rembrandt hangs in the long gallery. So best not take small children.

Probably Buxton’s most famous historical visitor was Mary Queen of Scots, who went there to take the waters in search of
a cure for her dropsy-induced headaches. A problem that was later cured permanently by Elizabeth I.

Mary stayed at the Old Hall Hotel, where she famously scratched messages to the townsfolk on a window pane with her diamond ring. These included: ‘I am the only true Queen of England’ and ‘why does the shower curtain never seem to work?’

No visit to Buxton would be complete without a visit to its Opera House. When permission to build was granted, the people of Buxton looked to the renowned theatrical architect Frank Matcham to design a unique construction, which he duly did, copying it from his other 27 identical unique theatres. Matcham was highly skilled in theatre design and it was his notion to have the stage sharply raked. Several years later he was called back to install a roof, and the autumn falling leaf problem was solved.

Early performances at the new Opera House included many by the great stars of the day, and it was there that the great Dame Nellie Melba was honoured by having a dessert named after her. ‘Nellie Melba’ was of course a stage name, she having in fact been christened ‘Sherry Trifle’.

The surrounding Peak District has a rich history. It was there that the Romans fought a long campaign with the Iceni, which languished in stalemate on the River Wye for many years. However, the ferocious British tribe would always make a quick attack whenever they saw an opening in the Romans’ Wye Front.

Nearby is the cavern known as the Robber Poole, named after a notorious highwayman who lived there. However, when additional troops were needed to protect the town from attack, he was pardoned after he rode non-stop to London on an unsaddled
wild stallion. His reward was a small plot of land where it was reported he tended his two acres.

The nearby system of caves is well known for its underground rivers and tight-twisting tunnels, and is where potholers can come to test their skills. Alternatively, they can blindfold themselves and climb fully clothed into a chest freezer full of muddy water with a couple of paving slabs strapped to their sides.

Surrounding Buxton are the beautiful hills of the Derbyshire Peak District, where many rock climbers enjoy their sport, and, indeed, Sir Edmund Hillary came to the area to prepare before going off to Everest to become a double glazing salesman.

Like other places in the Peak District, Buxton still practises the ancient ritual of ‘well-dressing’. This involves setting up a wooden sacred image covered with clay and then coating it with a mosaic of flower petals, leaves, moss and grass cuttings. The whole process can last up to three weeks and everyone is welcome. Anyone thinking they might enjoy a visit to Buxton to witness this, really ought to get a life.

N
OTTINGHAM
is a fine city with a fascinating history. The legendary people’s hero Robin Hood spent his life nearby. He famously, on his deathbed, shot an arrow from his bow, asking that wherever in Sherwood Forest the arrow should land, there he should be laid to rest, and the whole area covered with an enormous plastic bubble for visitors to ride bikes and play bingo in.

It’s well documented in official records that the city’s original name was ‘Snottingham’ or ‘home of Snotts’, but when the Normans came, they couldn’t pronounce the initial letter ‘S’, so decreed the town be called ‘Nottingham’ or the ‘home of Notts’. It’s easy to understand why this change was resisted so fiercely by the people of Scunthorpe.

Budget restraints on the first TV series of
Robin Hood
led to his Merry Men being played by cut-price actors

Amongst its many attractions, the town proudly boasts ‘The Trip To Jerusalem’, which is the oldest pub in England, a unique distinction shared with only 117 other English pubs. Coincidentally, the
oldest pub in Israel is called ‘The Day Out to Center Parcs’.

Nottingham is associated with many famous names. Born in 1850, Jesse Boot founded the chain of chemists that took his name. After a few years he realised his slogan ‘Buy Your Drugs from Jessies’ wasn’t that great, and he changed the firm’s name to Boots. The business started in Goosegate Street where Jesse’s father had a tiny, oak-beamed pill shop. But there was so little demand for tiny, oak-beamed pills, they decided to diversify.

The greatest bare knuckle fighter of the Victorian age was born in Nottingham, one William ‘Bend-e-goes’ Thompson, probably the most famous British Boxer until Frank ‘Down-he-goes’ Bruno.

J. M. Barrie once visited Nottingham and was inspired to write Peter Pan when he spotted an urchin in the street. What a one in a million chance that one should have escaped from the marine biology aquarium that day, thus frightening him round the corner where he bumped into a disabled pirate and a crocodile with someone’s clock in its mouth. Luckily the Normans could pronounce the letter ‘L’ so didn’t ban it.

Another famous son of the city is Albert Ball, who shot down a total of 43 German aircraft. This would have been more, but Mr Ball was eventually banned from East Midlands Airport in 1983.

Nottingham is also famous for its links with football, and Notts County is proud to be the oldest team in the English league, but they hope soon to buy some younger players. Founded in 1862, when they were the only existing club, they had to play matches against themselves for two years. One can only imagine their disappointment at finishing runners up two seasons in a row.

 LYTTELTON’S BRITAIN 
ENGLAND
EAST ANGLIA