OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (19 page)

I met Simon again this afternoon. He kept making me listen to goth stuff on his iPod!

For the record I think New Days Delay and Scarlet's Remains are AWFUL.

Honestly – I really just wanted a pizza and a DVD.

Then we had this conversation:

I expected a BIT more of a fight!

So I sort of dumped Simon the King of Goths in a soggy field near some tennis courts.

“She's out of my league.” Well, Simon, I don't want to be IN your league.

I have sorted out love for Jen. Dimple is having a secret relationship. But I am still SINGLE.

This is the price you pay for being a feminist woman of today who won't compromise. You end up watching the
MasterChef
final alone in your bedroom.

And has Goose rushed forward with his undying love? No – he's in his bedroom singing. I can't hear what Gregg Wallace thinks about someone's seared steak for the noise.

TOTAL DEATH FROM RUMOUR!

It's going round school that it's ME who kisses with my eyes open. That's down to MGK! I do not kiss with my eyes open! It's Simon. I saw it with my own—

I can see their point now.

Just had a shared homework night at Jen's. We didn't do any but we did talk ALL night about Simon McKinnon. His auntie has just died but he knows he will see her again in the next life. He's told Jen he really likes her but he needs to look after his dad too as they are like best mates.

Jen thinks he is VERY sweet and she can't wait to be with him more. I've warned her he kisses with his eyes open.

She snapped my head off: “That's fine – so do you!”

Gran came back from Matfield's class with something she called a Mondrian. Matfield said Gran's picture was a “fantastic example of simple yet effective and powerful self-expression”. They are TOTALLY just Lego blocks of colour, MATFIELD. If I did that you would say, “A 4-year-old could have done that – DETENTION!”

I am pretty fed up with everyone who has ever been in my life ever at the moment.

Came to see Gran after school and told her about Simon McKinnon's dead auntie. Gran said, “Well, we've all got to go someday, Hattie.” Apparently Gran has Post-it notes under everything in her house so “people can work out what is theirs when I cark it”. OMG – that's so WRONG.

Just checked her wardrobe – there's a Post-it note that says:

Thank GOD.

Just checked her awful cuckoo clock – it says, “Daughter” aka Mum. LOL!

OMG – the stuff she has left me is vile!

It's OK though because Gran isn't going to die for years!

Jen has been asked out by Simon McKinnon. I am officially Cupid! They can talk about Frank the Baptist and dead people together.

Texted Jen tonight but she was too busy to talk. Dimple thinks Jen and Simon McKinnon could end up getting married they are so similar.

OMG – has Jen checked that she isn't actually related to him? I'm living proof you can be related to anyone!

Jen has become a bit of an It girl at school because of her HOT relationship. Serious boyfriends mean serious popularity and she is getting it. Apparently it's so serious that Simon McKinnon has given up all other life forms on all other universes and committed to hers.

If an alien has more than 1 tongue – how do you kiss it?

LOL! Mum says “with difficulty”!

Since when is my mum funny?! Perhaps it's because we are getting closer in age that I understand her humour more.

OMG – we are NOT getting closer in age. I'm getting older! So is Mum!

I'm convinced lack of love and pash is turning me really stupid.

Dentist tomorrow. Please take the braces OFF.

My mad dentist has left. He has been replaced by Mr Winkler, who is German. He told me I have to keep my brace on for another 6 months. Apparently there's no point asking for a second opinion as it's “expensive”! Also because of his accent he said I should not “viggle” my electric toothbrush when I clean my teeth – I need to glide. When I started laughing he said, “I know I say it a bit funny but please don't laugh at my English, Hattie.” He winked though so he's actually totally fine with me taking the mickey.

So no “viggling” or giggling – just more braces!

He was a brilliant dentist though – I didn't feel anything. Not like the one before. Mr Winkler had all his certificates on the wall. I wonder if the other one was an actual proper dentist? He just had a poster of a cartoon crocodile with big teeth on HIS wall!

OMG – MGK has started hanging around Jen. Dimple and me are totally freaked out by this. What if she turns all MGK? She's got all our secrets. It would be like her joining a terrorist group!

Actually not really.

No way will Jen embrace FULL-ON MGK-ness – she's too emo and weird and basically wonderful.