He gives me
kiss. “Ok, pretty girl.”
I touch his face
but I am still upset. I don’t want to keep fighting but he needs to understand
how I feel. I open the door to the bathroom and walk over to the sink to fix my
hair and makeup. I go into my purse to grab some lip-gloss. When I look up
again, Kyle is right behind me. “Kyle? Oh my God, what are you doing here?”
“I saw you with
him. You just broke up with me Sophia and now you’re kissing him.” He takes my
hair and pulls me back. “You’re mine and always will be.”
I try to get out
of his grip but he has a strong hold on me. I start to cry. “Kyle, let me go
please.”
He throws me on
the floor and gets on top of me. “I told you that you can never leave me.” He
rips off the necklace and throws it. I cannot stop crying and I am so scared.
He starts to tear apart my dress. It takes every ounce of me to push him off. I
get up and try to run out but Kyle is too quick for me. He takes my head and
pushes it against the wall. I fall to the floor. Kyle starts kicking me in the
stomach. The pain gets worse with each blow. I’m out of breath and try to push
him away. I feel helpless. I scream as loud as I can but Kyle’s hand covers my
mouth. I bite it, hard. That just makes him even madder. He punches me in the
face a few times. My eyes are swollen and it is hard to see.
“You bitch; you will never be anyone else’s!”
His feet lands on my face and then I feel him get on top of me again. I open my
eyes and suddenly his fist lands on me repeatedly. I start crying and
whimpering but nothing is working to get him off. He punches me again and all I
see is darkness.
There is a
garden full of lilies and roses. The smell is soothing. I look around and there
is no one around. Just me, and I am not sure where I am, but everything seems
peaceful and calm. I start walking around. I pick up a rose and breathe in the
lovely scent. I close my eyes and feel nothing but light. I take my time to
open my eyes and feel love. I feel safe.
“Hi
Sophia.”
I know that
voice-that beautiful warm voice that used to sing me to sleep when I was
younger. That voice which would help me through the bad days.
Mom.
I quickly turn around, “Mommy?” She is standing in
front of me dressed so beautifully in a white dress. I run to her and give her
a hug. I am unsure how this is going on, but I don’t care. “Mommy… is it really
you?”
“Oh sweetheart,
yes,” she lets me go and puts her hand on my cheek. “You are so beautiful
Sophia. I have missed you oh so much.”
“Mom I miss you
too, but what is going on?”
She leads me to
the bench underneath the tree. “Sweetheart, you’re dreaming right now.”
“What?”
My mom starts
laughing. “Oh honey. We don’t have long but I want to make sure you know that I
am so proud of you. Look at you sweetheart. You’re graduating soon and landed
your dream job. And you even got the guy.” She nudges my arm and winks. Hearing
her say these things to me, gosh, I don’t even know how to feel. I make her
proud. “I want you to live your life and be the woman I know you can be. I want
you to remember never think that you’re alone. You have so many people who love
you and want to be here for you. Sweetheart, I know I left you too soon but
don’t let that stop you from living. Follow your heart sweetheart and just keep
looking up in the skies for me. I love you so much Sophia.”
I start to cry.
“I love you too Mom.”
She gets up and
looks down at me. “Go back to your life sweetheart. It is too soon for you to
be here. We will be together one day.”
I slowly start
to open my eyes. I see machines all over and a needle in my arm. I feel strange
and groggy. Everything around me is unfamiliar. I try to remember what happened
but my mind is blank. I turn my head slightly to the right and see my dad and
Sarah in the corner. Adam is sitting beside me sleeping. I take my hand and
touch his face. He quickly lifts his head and I see the suffering in his eyes.
“Hi.” My voice is hoarse and dry. I need water now!
“Sophia? Oh my
God, baby.” He gets up and puts his head to mine. “You’re awake.” His longing
gaze is on me. How long have I been unconscious? I try to stretch but
everything feels stiff and tight.
My dad and Sarah
run over and I see tears in their eyes. “What happened?”
“Honey you were
found in the bathroom unconscious. Someone did this to you and I want to know
who!” My dad’s voice is shaking. Oh no! I can’t believe this. I look at
everyone and cannot believe what is going on. I remember Kyle on top of me. He
is hitting me repeatedly. I can’t move or scream. “Kyle. He did this to me.” I
turn my head away. I feel small again.
“I’m going to
fucking kill him!” Adam pushes back the chair he was sitting in as I watch it
fall to the ground. I pull in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Maybe if
Adam sees me calm he will feel better too. Nothing can change what happened.
There is a wave of tension in the air and I hate it.
“Adam stop.” I
feel weak and try to get up but the horrible pain runs through my body. “
Ow
.” I feel the bandage around my body.
“Baby,” Adam
sits down beside me. “I am so sorry this happened and that I wasn’t there for
you.” I look over at my poor Adam and break apart for putting that look on his
face. It is not his fault and I need him to understand that.
“Son this isn’t
your fault.” My dad starts patting his shoulder. Sarah comes over and sits down
next to me too. “You had me so scared,
Soph
.” Sarah
kisses my forehead and I close my eyes. If everyone could relax and be calm,
everything will be fine. I’m alive! Yes, I’m hurt and yes Kyle did this, but,
I’m still here. I’m
not
going anywhere.
“I’m sorry.” I
feel weak and tired. I just want to go to sleep. All of the commotion is
getting to me. My anxiety rears its ugly head. I count to ten in my head and
close my eyes. I find my happy place and feel the weight of the tension lift
off me.
Sarah takes my
hand and shakes her head, “Stop honey, this isn’t your fault.”
My dad places
his hand on my shoulder. “Honey, I’m going to get the doctor. Sarah come with
me sweetie.”
They leave the
room leaving Adam and I alone. I look up and see tears in his eyes. “Hey it is
ok. I’m fine.” I take his hand and gently squeeze.
“Sweetheart, you
were in a coma for four days.”
What? Four days! What the hell happened to
me?
“I was so scared. When I found you lying on that floor I fell apart.
I’m sorry for fighting with you.” He thumbs my cheek and I lean into his hand.
This is my heaven,
Adam.
“Please tell me you’re still mine?” I hear the
plea in his voice, the want and need is so profound. How could I ever leave him?
We are in this together, forever Adam. Open your eyes and realize that
throughout all the shit we go through, we will always find our way back to each
other. No more running and no more hiding, this is it. This is me. This is us.
His words hit me hard. We were fighting before this happened and I could have
died. I do not want our last memories to be of us fighting. “I will always be
yours Adam.” I bring his hand down to mine as we hold our look. There are mixed
feelings of sadness and happiness in his eyes and I want to take that sadness
away from him. I want him to understand that he is it. “
Shhhh
,
it is ok, I’m here now. I will never leave you. Please no more fighting.” I
struggle to talk but I need him to hear me. “I’m sorry that I freaked out on
you. I just hate that you didn’t tell me everything.” I take in a deep breath.
“But can we start over? No more fighting please?”
He takes my hand
again and caresses my face, “Of course.” He kisses my hand and keeps his lips
on me for a while. I didn’t mean for all of this to happen. I did not want him
to worry about me. “
Soph
, I am not going to let
anything bad happen to you. Do you understand? I’m yours forever and I will
protect you from any pain and evil from now until the day I die. I love you.”
“I love you
too.” I respond back without hesitation. The heart monitor speeds up and we
start laughing. God, I love this man. I cannot ever get enough of him.
He puts his head
on my shoulder as I gently stroke his head. A few minutes later, a nurse walks
in. “Hi darling. My name is
Nancy
. Sophia, how are you feeling?”
“I’m ok but I um… need to use the bathroom.” I look at Adam and he gets the
point.
He points to the
door and has a sly smirk on his face. “I’ll just be in the hall.”
When he leaves,
Nancy
readjusts me and gets me ready to get up
to use the bathroom. This is so uncomfortable. After the most embarrassing few
minutes of my life, she helps me get up and leads me to the bathroom. After I’m
done, I look in the mirror and am horrified. There are bruises all over my face
and my cheeks are swollen. How could Kyle do this to me? I look away. I can’t
look at my reflection. I cry alone in the bathroom. My hands grip the sink and
the white in my knuckles start to show. “Calm down Sophia. It is not worth it.
Breathe.” My voice is low. I don’t want
Nancy
to hear me. The sound of my own voice
calms me. I cannot let this get to me anymore. I need to fight back.
I open the
bathroom door and
Nancy
helps me back in bed. “Thank you so
much.”
“Oh honey, my
pleasure. Now if you need anything just press this button. Now Dr. Hendricks
will be right in to give you an update. Feel better honey.”
I smile at her
as she leaves the room. Adam and Sarah come in and sit beside me. “How are you
feeling, baby sister?” Sarah looks exhausted. I want everyone to understand
that I’m ok. The most important thing is I’m alive.
“I’m still sore
but I’m ok.” I look at both of them and need to tell them to stop worrying.
“You guys I’m ok. So please stop.”
Sarah starts to
cry out. “You aren’t ok! You could have died Sophia. Why didn’t you tell us
Kyle was like this?”
Feeling like a
child that is being scolded by their parent; I lean back on the bed and close
my eyes. This is not what I want to deal with. “I don’t know. I don’t want
anyone to worry about me.”
Adam holds my
hand tighter. “He is not coming near you again, baby. He
will
pay for
this.” I know Adam cannot let go of this but he cannot put his focus on Kyle.
He needs to focus on
our future and us
. “I can’t believe I didn’t
protect you.”
I close my eyes
again and look away from everyone. “Please stop.” I whisper. This needs to
stop. I cannot live like this anymore. “No, stop please. No more drama, I just
want to move on with my life!” The tremble in my voice startles everyone. I
lean back and keep my eyes close. Everything will be better, it has to be.
Dr. Hendricks
comes in the room with a clipboard. “Why hello Sophia, how are you feeling
today?”
I slowly sit up
a little so I can talk to him, “A little sore, but ok.”
“Well that’s normal.
We ran many tests and I would like to let you know you haven’t suffered any
permanent damage. Your ribs are still bruised, so we will need to keep them
bandaged but other than that you should be all right. Now you will experience
some headaches but if you start to feel dizzy or vomit, please come right
back.” He comes over to the side of my bed and does a quick examination. “You
will be released tomorrow, but for now get lots of rest.”
“Thanks doctor.”
He simply smiles and walks out of the room. “Alright guys, see I am fine!”
“Well you won’t
be until we find Kyle.” Adam starts to say. “I don’t want you to ever be
alone.”
“Sophia do you
understand that? Sophia you are not to be alone at all until he is found, ok?”
Sarah’s unsteady voice starts to make me nervous.
I take a pillow
from behind my head and throw it. I feel an instant sharp pain in my side.
“Fuck.” I look away. “You guys please stop worrying. And yes, I will not be
alone.”
I hear
Erin
’s voice in the hallway and in seconds,
she is here with Connor. His arms filled with balloons and stuffed animals. “Oh
my God, Sophia, are you ok? Oh my God, sweetie,”
Erin
starts to cry. “I am so sorry this
happened.”