We
finally
get to
Takka’s
and I can breathe again. Erin and Connor get out of the car and start walking
inside. I sink down in my seat not ready to leave the back seat of the car.
“Hey,” Adam starts to say, “Don’t worry about it
Soph
.
It’s ok.”
I wince again.
How can everything be ok? “I don’t get why you don’t hate me.” A part of me
prepares to hear the awful truth but I need to know.
Adam puts his
finger under my chin and holds my face so I am looking into his eyes. The way
he looks at me makes me feel happy. After looking at one another for a few
moments, Adam lightly kisses my forehead, “Let’s go inside.”
Before I can
answer, he gets out of the car and walks over to my side to open my door.
“Thank you.”
“You’re
welcome.” He grabs my hand and shuts the door. He takes my hand as his fingers
entwine with mine. I love holding his hand and I don’t want him to let go. When
we reach the restaurant, he holds the door for me and guides me in while
placing his hand on my back. When we get inside, Connor and Erin are already in
a booth waiting for us.
“Took you long
enough,”
Erin
remarks and throws a hot towel at me.
We all laugh and
sit down. Adam puts his arm around me and pulls me in closer. He places his
hand on my knee and instantly my body tightens with excitement. Thoughts of his
hands all over me rush through my mind. I start biting my lower lip while
looking at the menu with him. I close my eyes and slow down my breathing. This
is bad.
Our server comes
to the table to greet us before taking our orders. We all order the sashimi
platter that comes with salmon, tuna, surf clams, and white tuna. I can’t wait
to eat! We all start talking about random things and agree that Winter break
needs to come sooner. It feels good to be with my friends and not feel captive
in my own room waiting for Kyle. All throughout dinner, Adam doesn’t let go of
my hand and keeps asking me if I’m ok. It’s sweet how he’s still looking out
for me even after all these years apart. I keep taking in deep breaths as his
touch makes me weak and I feel my body tighten. I picture us together again and
we’re happy. I don’t feel alone anymore as I look at my friends.
We finish dinner
and head back to campus. I feel my phone vibrate and take it out.
Erin
:
Hey don’t make it obvious but when we get back just take Adam out of the car.
Connor wants to sit here and talk ;)
Me: LOL k!
I put my phone
back in my pocket and look over at Adam. He’s looking back at me with question
and I shake my head letting him know not to worry. When we get back to campus I
start yawning and stretching my arms over my head, “Oh wow I am so tired. Adam
can you walk me back to my room?”
“Yeah no problem,”
He says slowly. I don’t think he gets it at first so I nudge him on the arm and
look at Erin and Connor. A light bulb comes on and he smiles.
“Alright guys
I’m going to go and get sleep, busy day tomorrow.” I lean over and give
Erin
a kiss on her cheek and give her a wink.
“Bye Connor.” I touch his shoulder and give him a squeeze.
He touches my
hand and smirks at me, “See ya
Soph
.”
Adam and I get
out of the car and start walking over to my room.
It’s
cold out and I start to shiver. “Hey wear this,” Adam takes off his jacket and
puts it on me. It smells like my Adam-fresh with a hint of mint.
I pull his
jacket tighter so it covers me better. “Thanks Adam.” We walk in silence; it
feels peaceful at this hour, not many people walking around. There’s so much I
want to ask and talk to him about but tonight is already perfect. I don’t want
to create unnecessary drama and ruin the night. When we get to the building, I
pull out my ID card. I want to ask him to come up with me but chicken out.
“Thanks for walking me back. I get scared in the dark.” I look down at my feet
afraid to look at him.
He rubs my arms
and smiles. “It’s my pleasure. I like being around you
Soph
.”
“I like being
around you too. Good night Adam.” I begin to turn toward my door when suddenly
he spins me around as he wraps his arms around me. “Night
Soph
.”
We stay in this perfect moment like this for what seems to be forever and it
still isn’t long enough. He gives me a kiss on the forehead before letting me
go. I tell him I’ll text him in the morning before saying good bye one last
time.
I get back to my
room and change into my shorts and a tank top. I get in bed and try to fall
asleep but my body misses him already.
I suddenly wake
up from another nightmare. This time I dream about Kyle. He’s hitting me over
and over again. I can’t breathe. He puts his hands around my neck and squeezes.
There’s sweat all over. I look around the room and notice it’s just me. It’s
almost four in the morning. Great, I can’t get anymore sleep. I start
stretching and put on my hoodie and sneakers. I need fresh air. I walk outside
and sit down on a bench near the building.
The bench is old
and made of stone. I sit down and feel the cold against my body. I put my hands
down on the bench and look up to the sky, “Mom? Are you there?” I start to say,
“I don’t know what to do Mom. I’m so scared. You said you’ll always be there
when I need you well I need you now. Please show me a sign.” I close my eyes
and feel the quietness of the night. There’s nothing but silence. I start
crying again when all of a sudden I feel arms around my shoulders. I open my
eyes and look up.
Adam
.
“Hey what are
you doing out here?”
“Oh hi, I
couldn’t sleep. I like to come out and talk to my mom. Want to sit down with
me?”
Adam takes a
seat next to me and rests his hand on my knee. We sit there together, neither
of us saying anything. I like sitting here with him. It’s peaceful out. I look
up and see him looking back at me. We share a smile. It’s one of those smiles
that let you know everything will be ok.
I head back to
my room after spending most of the morning with Adam. We didn’t say too much
but didn’t have to.
I take a shower and
get ready for my
eight a.m.
English class. I’m never a girl who puts on a ton of make up or wears flashy
clothes but for some reason today I want to dress up and look nice. I consider
myself a pretty girl. I’m 5’5, blonde hair, blue eyes, a soft complexion, I
don’t have big boobs but where I lack in that area, I make up with my perky
derriere.
I blow-dry my
hair and start putting soft curls in. My long blonde hair is easy to curl and I
love how it shapes my face. I put on some pink and purple eye shadow, black eye
liner and bronzer. My skin is naturally pale and I can never go tanning because
I will turn red like a lobster. Satisfied with my hair and makeup I go to my
closet and start rummaging through my clothes.
I have nothing to wear,
I think to myself. Finally I find a pair of
black skinny jeans, a white fitted tank top and a black blazer. I take one
final look at myself in the mirror; pickup my purse and books and head to
class.
It’s a short
walk to class and for some reason I have the biggest smile on my face. I make
it to class with still five minutes to spare and take a seat. I’m getting my
papers out and trying to prepare myself for my oral presentation when Adam
comes to sit right next to me, “Morning beautiful.”
I laugh, “Good
morning. Thanks again for last night.”
He takes a sip
of his coffee and I wish it were me his lips touched, “You’re very welcome but
no need pretty girl.”
I can feel his
eyes looking at me, staring. There’s a hurt expression on his face as if he
wants to tell me something but instead holds back. I don’t know why he keeps
looking at me like that. I’m not complaining by all means but it makes me
nervous and shy. My whole body feels like Jell-O. I don’t know why he has such
a powerful effect on me but it’s making me feel like a little girl again.
“You look
beautiful today but I’m sure that’s never a problem for you.”
“Adam stop!” I
lightly slap his arm and things are starting to feel comfortable again. “I’m
not beautiful.”
“I’d say so.
You’ve been beautiful since you were in diapers
Soph
.”
“Adam you’re
making me blush stop.” I look back in his eyes and inside I’m crying for him to
come back to me.
“So
what about having breakfast with me today?”
Adam suggests.
Surprised at his
question I do want to make it seem I’m too eager. “We’ll see.” Adam stares at
me again, “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
He takes another
sip and smiles, “Because you’re my pretty girl.” That was his nickname for me
when we were younger. It always made me feel special.
“Adam stop,
you’re embarrassing me.”
“Trust me this
isn’t anything. Just have breakfast with me.” The grin on Adam’s face is
priceless, I roll my eyes and nod my head yes.
“Alright see you
after class,” he said and makes his way to the back of the room to sit with
Connor. I look over and give Connor a wave. I turn back around and smile. I
love having both of my favorite guys back in my life. They’re the missing
pieces in my life and I slowly start to feel complete.
I take out my
phone and start to text the one person who I know will help me figure this shit
out:
Me: Sarah! 911!
Sarah: What happened? You ok?
Me: Ya! But Adam asked me to go out to
breakfast with him! Should I go??
Sarah: Oh you two! I always knew you guys
would find your way back to each other.
Me: You are NOT funny!
Sarah: Sweetie just
go
meet him and have fun!
Me: IDK…
Sarah: If you don’t then you’ll never
know.
Dr. Mason
arrives to class and looks at all of us.
Me: g2g update you later!
Dr. Mason is the
one of the oldest professors on campus. He’s a small man of about 5’3 with
wrinkles all over. I can’t believe he is still teaching but he’s definitely an
inspiration with his brilliance and dedication to the teaching world, “Alright
class let’s get started, shall we? Miss Burns please come up front and present
us your piece.”
I slowly get up
from my desk and start walking to the front of the class. I feel nervous and
anxious to present my piece especially with who is in front of me.
The task was to
write something from the depths of our souls. We needed to release our deepest
secret. I had a hard time with this assignment because I wasn’t sure how deep I
wanted to go but, in some ways, I wanted him to know how I still feel. I love
my creative writing class, it is the only time I am able to express myself and
my counselor thought it was a good class for me to take and it is an easy A. I
want to be a writer, but business came so easy to me as well.
I remind myself
that I can do this and maybe Adam won’t know I’m talking about him. I take a
deep breath, turn around and start presenting my piece:
“The nights grow
dark and cold as I remember how you smile. I remember all of our times
together. There’s not a day that goes by when you’re not on my mind. You save
me every day and I owe you so much.
It was us
against the world. You were my first love; my best friend but when the darkness
knocked on my door, you left me alone. How could you leave when I gave you
every piece of me? I told you things I never could tell anyone else. The night
you left, I felt like you took a piece of my heart and I would never get it
back until you came back into my life. Why did you come back? Why didn’t you
ever try to contact me? Do you know what that did to me? Did you know what I
did to myself? Years of silence, but then out of nowhere God gave you back to
me. I can’t look at you without crying. The memories will always be in my
heart. I saved you once; can you save me now? Can you save me from the darkness
and bring back the light?”