Reckless Radiance (3 page)

“Okay, Russell, what can I get you to eat?”

She heard him chuckle and made sure she glanced down to see that sweet half-grin he seemed to have rehearsed to perfection. He ordered the egg combo and what she started to presume was his usual cup of black coffee. She had a passing thought as she headed back to the kitchen that she’d bring him a cup before he ordered it if he were to show up again. Paige was already eyeing her from another table but Valerie ignored her. She was embarrassed enough as it was.

She wondered why he was back again. After never having set foot in the diner, did he suddenly had a taste for the greasy spoon gourmet?
Doubtful.
Was it her? Was he actually there solely to see her? She doubted it but there was a spark of hopefulness sitting inside of her that she was wrong.

Walking back out, egg combo in hand, she nearly dropped her tray. Sitting just a few tables away from her dark stranger was Henry. Her heartbeat quickened a bit and her stomach started to pitch. She put Russell’s food in front of him but kept her eyes on Henry, who was seated in the corner. He was giving her one of his smug grins and waving her over.

“Someone you know?” Russell mumbled, glancing over his shoulder at Henry.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll be back to check on you in a second.”

Her heart was pounding in her ears as she took the handful of steps over to Henry’s table, sucking in a few breaths.

“Henry. Hi.” Her words came out staccato.

He looked nice, surprisingly. Clearly he hadn’t yet guzzled down his first few beers of the day. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw him without at least a little red around his brown eyes and some slur to his words. His face was clean shaven and his sandy blonde hair looked like he’d taken time to style it.

“Hey, Val baby.” She hated that endearment. “I’ve got baseball practice in a bit and thought I’d carbo-load on Penny‘s famous pancakes.”

Henry had this way about him—dripping in ego and frat-boy culture. It was sickening in general but even more so this early in the morning.

Valerie met Henry at an incredibly cliché college party a few months back. He was fun and good looking. He was different from Gabriel in every way and she didn’t doubt that was why she first hooked up with him. That and he’d gotten her pretty drunk. She’d swear to this day there wasn’t a hint of alcohol taste to that electric lemonade. She gulped it down, letting the memories get fuzzier and fuzzier in her mind.

Drowning her sorrows and having a shameless, one-night stand didn’t seem like a terrible idea. It even seemed like a half-way normal thing for a nineteen year old girl to do. But one night with Henry turned into a lot of nights. It wasn’t long before Valerie realized how awful she and Henry were for each other.

It seemed he was always around when she was feeling bad about herself. She hated how weak she was to his pitiful lines and to his cologne. Still, she sought the numbness their relationship granted her. There was so much darkness locked inside of her. Anger and grief still sat just below the surface. Every time she tried to heal she’d fall prey to him again because it was easier than dealing.

Henry very clearly had a drinking problem which Valerie chose to ignore. She’d become used to his drunken hatefulness, the awful names he would call her and his tendency to throw things or hit walls. When they first starting seeing each other, she’d watched him beat up a member of his baseball team after they lost a game. After Henry had gotten good and loaded, at what was supposed to be a celebratory after party, he proceeded to bloody his teammate’s nose and even went as far as kicking him in the ribs. Valerie was afraid of his rage but she never imagined he’d become violent with her.

Until he did.

A few nights ago she’d gone over to his apartment after dark and made herself available to him. He was never mean to her in bed. He was nice even—attentive. But after, he always trudged to the kitchen and poured himself a shot. And another and another. Valerie sat up, the familiar numbness sitting in the middle of her chest, and dressed herself quickly. She threw her hair into a ponytail and wiped the makeup from underneath her eyes as she walked down the hall toward him.

“Where you going, girl?” Henry asked.

Valerie glanced at the dwindling bottle of whiskey on his kitchen counter and shook her head. “It’s late,” she murmured as she brushed past him, moving toward the door. His hand slipped around her wrist in a quick motion and he yanked her hard, pulling her to his chest. Valerie cried out at his rough touch. Her heart pounded when she looked into his glassy eyes. She winced as he pushed her against the refrigerator, her head knocking back against the stainless steel door. “Henry,” she pleaded.

“You think you can jus’ leave whenever you feel like it?” he slurred. She couldn’t move. His hand was still tightening around her wrist like a snake that had caught its prey and was determined to crush the life from it. The palm of his other hand slammed against the refrigerator door an inch away from her head. She shut her eyes and flinched, sure he was going to strike her across the face.

“You can go when I say you can go. Just like you always show up when I tell you to,” he growled. He leaned in close to her and she felt tears stinging her eyes. His breath stunk of alcohol and he sprayed saliva on her face as he spoke. Finally his grip loosened but he didn’t pull away from her. Instead he leaned in closer, put his hands on either side of her face and put his lips on hers roughly.

She’d never been so afraid. For weeks she’d watched him evolve from a party boy into a drunk and now finally … a monster. Valerie hadn’t seen him since that night and deep down she knew it would take more than ignoring his texts to shake him.

“And I want strawberry syrup,” Henry said, snapping her out of her thoughts.

She nodded and forced a smile, happy to be walking away from him. Then she felt his familiar grip on her wrist, the pads of his fingers pushing into the tender bruises that lingered. She spun and as her eyes moved around the diner slowly back to him she caught sight of Russell. He was tense in his chair watching the scene. Air stuck in her lungs and she finally locked eyes with the devil on her shoulder she called Henry.

“Don’t bring me maple. I
want
strawberry syrup. Do you understand?”

“Got it.”

Valerie rushed to the kitchen with her hands trembling and her breath coming out in short huffs. She was shaken by his grasp. She pulled herself together enough to wait on the few other tables that had been seated in her section. Inevitably, she went back to Russell’s table, trying not to think about the way he’d straightened to attention when Henry grabbed her.

“Doing all right?” she asked topping off his coffee.

“You should leave him,” he said quietly.

Her heart stopped a moment and she glared at him disbelieving his audacity. He didn’t flinch or apologize or even break the stare.

“It’s really none of your business,” she snapped. “Do you want your check?”

Russell tightened his eyes on her, scrutinizing, before nodding silently. Like a little hummingbird she flitted quickly from Russell to the kitchen and back to Henry with his food. Strawberry syrup included.

“Who’s that guy?” Henry asked.

“Just a customer,” she lied.

Glancing back for a split second, she saw Russell wave Paige over. Valerie couldn’t hear their conversation but Paige was nodding then Russell handed her some money. She said one last thing to him and he stood before slowly walking out the front door without looking back. Valerie’s heart sank a little.

“He had to run. Said this would cover his bill,” Paige said, handing Valerie the cash.

It was fifty dollars, enough to cover his bill five times over. With a sigh, she shoved the money into her apron, thanked Paige and rolled her eyes at her friend’s subtle grin.

She returned her attention to Henry who was already delving into his pancakes. Holding back the urge to run out the door after Russell and give him a piece of her mind, she calmly took a seat at the other end of Henry’s table and stared at him.

What the hell was wrong with her? Gabriel had treated her like a goddess while Henry was as kind to her as he would be to a housefly. Glaring at Henry as he devoured his breakfast sloppily, not minding to make conversation with her, she decided they were done. For good. Too bad nothing in her life had ever been as simple as that.

Chapter Five

A wave of relief rolled through Valerie as she looked up at the clock and noticed it was two minutes until five. Her shift was over. She went to the back to hang up her apron and grab her purse and jacket before clocking out. Paige rounded the corner with a weird expression on her face.

“What’s wrong?” Valerie asked.

“Don’t be mad.”

She huffed and widened her eyes, her silence pleading Paige to tell her what she might possibly be mad about.

“When that guy left today, I kind of told him to come back at five so he could take you out.” Paige rushed through her words, her hands fidgeting at her side.

Valerie stared at her friend for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip.
Great
, she thought. She knew Paige meant well but Valerie wasn’t exactly happy about it. Paige’s wide, doe eyes were waiting for a response.

“How do I look?” Valerie asked with a sigh.

Paige squealed with joy and immediately rushed to her side, fussing with her hair. She handed Valerie a tube of lip gloss from her apron and she hesitantly, slicked it on. It had been a while since she’d embraced anything as girly as makeup. Plain was how she felt so plain was how she was. Standard attire for Valerie was a messy ponytail and her work uniform. Paige smiled at Valerie sweetly and hugged her for good luck. Then she ushered her out to the restaurant where he was already waiting.

“Hi,” Russell said.

“Hello,” Valerie replied, trying not to get lost in his eyes. She could still hear his condescending warning ringing in her ears.

“Your friend said you might consider …” His voice trailed off and his eyes dipped low for a moment. “But I was incredibly rude earlier. You probably wouldn’t want to go anywhere with me.”  

She looked him over and saw a bit of sadness as he stood ready to walk away from her. He’d overstepped but she could give him another shot. At least she could try.

“Let’s start with a walk,” she said.

His eyes lit up and she could see he was a little shocked. There was a sweetness about him. He opened the door for her and they walked out on to the sidewalk. It was silent between them for a while given Valerie wasn’t sure what to say to him. He was dressed in black like the day before. It suited him. It wasn’t menacing the way you might expect an all-black outfit would be on a tall, brooding man. It was enigmatic in a way. Powerful.

Their eyes met for a moment when she looked at him but her awkwardness got the better of her and she ducked her eyes away again.

“You’re not from around here are you?” she finally asked.

Russell laughed. “You could say that.”

“A cryptic answer from the stranger with an unusual interest in me. Shocking,” she quipped. Russell let out another laugh and fixed his eyes on her as he stopped mid-step.

“You’re funny. I like that. Humor is such a lovely trait to have,” he said.

Her face twisted and she eyed him skeptically.
Could he be any weirder?
He was grinning at her like a goofy kid. She couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“I’m sorry for earlier. It was presumptuous and not my place at all. It’s just …” Once again Russell’s words disintegrated before he finished his thought.

She sighed and remembered what she’d told herself earlier. She and Henry were done. She didn’t need to worry about him and she didn’t need to cover for him. “It’s okay. It’s kind of a long story—how I got mixed up with him—but we’re done. I’m done,” she replied. Valerie let her gaze drift to him.

His eyes were the color of iced cerulean yet they were different than they had been the day before. They were warmer as he looked at her now. Her breathing slowed. Cars were moving on the street next to them and people walked around them as they remained stopped on the sidewalk. The world kept going but a shift was happening. Valerie felt something. She felt an aching in her soul for connection. Though he was new, it wasn’t simply infatuation. The feeling slipping under her skin, swirling in her head, was one she was familiar with but couldn't name.

“What shall we do?” he asked. It seemed like a loaded question in the moment but Valerie chose not to think of it that way.

Looking around, she pointed down the block to a coffee shop. The only thing she really knew about him was how he liked his coffee and since she was in the mood for a hot drink, it seemed to fit. The inside of the coffee shop was like all the others of the chain, warm and cozy and bustling with people. No matter the time of day there was usually a line.

Autumn was Valerie’s favorite time of the year. Pumpkin spice lattes and chai teas were among the long list of delectable drinks she liked to indulge in during the season. At the front of the line Russell glanced at her, waiting for her to order. “Earl Gray tea with skim milk please,” she said. Russell smiled at her with his brow furrowed a bit. Valerie wondered if her order was one he didn’t expect.

Russell ordered a plain black coffee just as Valerie expected, causing a smile to grace her lips. When their drinks were ready, they glanced around the shop and saw that all the seats were taken. “I suppose we could continue that walk,” he said with a sweet lilt to his voice. Valerie nodded and they headed outside once more. As she sipped at the piping hot tea, she sighed. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d done something so ordinary and felt so excited by it. Just a second more passed before he started asking her questions about herself. He seemed hungry for knowledge. When she told him about her parents’ farm, his eyes lit up and he mentioned how much he enjoyed nature and the idea of physical labor. Valerie mused at his peculiarity. His phrasing and candor were unlike that of anyone she’d ever known. But everything aside, his strangeness, his mystery, his bold comment about Henry—she liked him.