Reckless Radiance (7 page)

“I’m yours.”

Chapter Eleven

He concentrated hard to keep the light of his halo dim. It would’ve been easier to stay put and not climb into her bed but he couldn’t stop himself. After all he’d put her through that night, he craved comforting her. His hand smoothed over her soft, wheat colored hair and again he stifled the feeling building in his chest. She was asleep. Her breath was steady and deep as her body relaxed into the mattress.

With a few slow and precise movements, he untangled himself from her arms and slid out from under the covers. The blanket on the floor looked less than comfortable but he didn’t feel right about sleeping in her bed. Not now. Not with her head still so full of questions and the tension of lies of omission between them. He settled onto the floor and covered himself with the plush blanket

Why did it have to go this way? Why did that imbecile Henry have to be in the picture? Sitting outside her apartment building after their date, Russell remembered the heart stopping feeling of watching Henry walk up the steps. At first he was jealous but then he knew something was wrong. He knew he wasn’t invited. From there it was a nightmare. He could only imagine what it had been like for her. The fear in her eyes when she saw him in that trunk twisted his insides in knots. If he could’ve spared her any moment of the day, he would have. But then again, he did spare her. He’d spared her life in a flash he knew neither Henry nor Valerie saw.

And in that moment—that snap decision—he took the final leap. He let go of the only identity he’d ever known—his identity as an angel. And he tossed the rules he’d been taught long ago away. He wasn’t sure what kind of punishment recklessness would get him in the angel’s realm but he knew what blatant disregard for the rules would. Now wasn’t the time to think about it. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind and took one last look at her sleeping peacefully.

She didn’t know what had brought him to her.
Gabriel.
She didn’t know the history that had him breaking his immortal laws for her.

He drew in a deep breath and a smile made its way to his lips as he told himself what he’d been telling himself all along. Nothing mattered as long as he was with her. Nothing mattered but her.

Chapter Twelve

As Valerie dreamt, she subconsciously hoped either to wake up into another reality or to not wake up at all. As the morning sun crept in through her window, she damned herself for waking up in her real life. It was an overwhelming feeling to wake up and look around her childhood bedroom. Maybe she’d been shifted back to high school. She wondered if that would be better at this point. Looking down at the clothes she’d worn the day before, she snapped out of her thoughts of time travel.

Her shoulders cracked and her back popped as she sat up and stretched her arms high above her head. The night had actually been quite kind to her in giving her a great sleep. She rubbed her eyes and glanced around the room slowly then panicked. No Russell. Her heart lurched at the assumption he’d left before she even had a chance to get the truth from him. Then her heart pulsated when she remembered his words as she’d fallen asleep the night before.

She suddenly stirred when she heard a roar of laughter coming from outside her door. She quickly ran a brush through her hair and checked her face. God, she looked tired. Walking down the hall to the kitchen, she heard voices chattering away and laughing. The savoring scents in the air lured her to the kitchen even faster. Bacon, eggs, pancakes, coffee. She rounded the corner to the large kitchen—the glue of the house and of her family. There at the wide oak table sat her father, Russell and Justin. They were wolfing down breakfast in between bubbling conversation. Her mother was zipping around the kitchen making more food and stopping by each of them, periodically topping off coffee and orange juice.

Valerie stood stunned for a moment taking in the scene. Russell had glided into her family quite easily from the looks of things. Her father was clapping him on the back and her mother was scooting more bacon on to his plate, insisting he eat up. It was actually an amazing sight. It was more proof that the family she hadn’t seen in so long were the same loving people she’d always known she could turn to but never did. Add to that Russell…her saving grace.

He turned to her the second she thought his name and her world was set into slow motion. With his raven locks and his sky blue eyes, he turned to see her with a beaming smile on his face. The face of a happy man. Her living liberator.
I’m yours,
she replayed his words in her head.

A breath came out of her as a shudder when she thought the declaration. No matter how ridiculous it was having just met him, it felt right.

Russell’s eyes lingered on her as did the grin on his face. The room fell quiet and soon her family turned to her as well. She bit her lip looking at their faces and before she had the thought to say good morning, her mother had her in the tightest hug of her life.

“My sweet girl. I’m so glad you’re here,” she sighed into her ear.

The bittersweet tone in her voice nearly broke Valerie’s heart. What a horrible thing she’d put her mother through. She’d left without as much as a goodbye. Her mother pulled back and looked Valerie over.

“You’re so skinny! Come eat!” she chirped.

A smile broke onto her face. As she stepped to the breakfast table, she was met by her dad and another bear hug. When they separated, he showed her a contented smile and a simple wink as if nothing needed to be said.

Food was in front of her as soon as she sat down next to Russell and she was still speechless at the oddity of the setting. It had been over a year since she’d had breakfast with her parents. She shook her head and glanced to her side. Russell was beaming.

“Good morning,” he said.

“We need to talk,” she said through a tight smile.

He breathed a laugh and nodded. Coffee and conversation continued to flow and didn’t let up once. Valerie was mostly quiet, taking in all the stories she’d missed out on that her parents were anxious to talk about. Her mother had been doing hair out of the garage her father remodeled into a salon for her. It was a little space that worked just fine for her and since there had always been a loft above the garage, it still left plenty of room for her dad’s miscellaneous tools. Her father talked about what a good year he had with the crops and that he was thinking about getting a few more animals.

Justin mentioned a band he and his friends had put together. Their lives had continued on without her and they all seemed so happy. There was a touch of melancholy sitting in Valerie’s heart at the notion the three of them had become a unit that seemed to no longer have a place for her.

“Valerie? You’ve been quiet. Tell us about school. How’s everything going?” Her mother asked. Valerie swallowed a lump in her throat and glanced at Russell.

“I, uh…” She stared at her hands and tried to think of a way to say it but nothing came to her. She simply looked up at her mother, gave her a pained smile and shook her head.

“Well sweetie pie, we’re just glad to have you home. You and Russell stay as long as you like,” she said, not missing a beat, not letting a frown come close to her mouth.

"Russell, you ever been on a farm before?" Her dad asked. She knew right where he was going.

"Not exactly," Russell replied.

Her father grinned and put his hand on Russell's back again in paternal reflex. "Well if you kids stay here for very long, I’m gonna have to teach you a few things. I can always use an extra set of hands."

The sweetest, most innocent smile grew on Russell's face. "I would love that, George."

She felt like laughing at the absurdity of Russell and her father working the fields together. As the breakfast cleanup began, she heard her father telling Russell he could get him some clothes for the meantime and that they should go on upstairs and have a look in the closet.

Soon it was just Valerie and her mother standing in the kitchen clearing plates.

“So…” her mother started with her back turned to Valerie, rinsing plates in the sink, the word drawn out in her sugary sweet voice. Valerie didn’t speak up though a frown made its way to her lips as she sipped at the brown mug she held with both hands. Her mother spun on her heels and faced her daughter curiously.

“You know I could ask you quite a few questions,” she said.

Valerie sighed. “And I’d prefer you not to.”

Her mother eyed her closely. “Are you in trouble?”

“No. No, mom. It’s nothing like that.”

A part of her felt guilty but there was certainly no reason to tell her mother about what happened with Henry since everything had turned out okay
. So far.

“We just both…wanted to get out of town,” Valerie said busying her hands with dirty dishes.

“Wanted to get out of town fast?”

Valerie gave her mother a look for her probing.

“What? The man doesn’t know how to pack a bag?”

That one was fair
, Valerie thought.

“Who is he anyway?” her mother asked.
Good question.

Valerie scrubbed the cast iron pan harder and let her mind find the answer. “He’s a friend. Just a friend,” she said.

Her mother scoffed and chuckled. “Just a friend who you drove all night with then made googly eyes at at the breakfast table?”

A smile cracked on Valerie’s lips and she remembered how much she adored her mother’s teasing. “He’s a good friend I guess but it’s complicated.”

“Nothing’s too complicated when a man looks that good at six in the morning, Val,” her mom shot back, returning her attention to the sink with ease.

She had missed her so much and hardly even known it. Now back in the house, even with Russell, it felt like home again. She planted a kiss on her mother’s cheek and she turned back, pulling her into another tight embrace. She was silent but Valerie could feel what her mother was thinking.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," she sighed. Pulling back, she gave her a sweet look, tears in her eyes.

"Don't be. You’re stronger than all of us, kiddo.” She put a slender hand on Valerie’s cheek and Valerie saw the greatest amount of love in her eyes.

"Now, help me make up the guest room. Your father wasn't thrilled seeing a strange man walk out of his little girl's bedroom this morning," she said. Valerie laughed and followed her to the guest bedroom, which was directly across the hall from her room. She stopped off at the linen closet and started making the bed with her mother in comfortable silence.

Tucking the sheets under one side of the mattress, she caught her mother smiling at her. She tried to ignore it as she walked around the foot of the bed to pick up a corner of the dark blue floral bedspread to pull over the fresh sheets. Then she heard her snicker.

“What?” Valerie grumbled.

Her mother let out a tiny burst of a laugh and covered her mouth sheepishly. “Oh Val, don’t sound so grumpy.”

“Why are you giggling at me?”

She sighed and her giddy smile turned to a loving one as she stopped, hugging the pillow she held in her hands to her chest. “I’m just happy you’re home. And I’m happy to see you like this.”

Valerie straightened the pillows on her side, fidgeting with them. “Like what?” she asked with a furrowed brow.

The bed was made and they were standing on opposite sides of the room staring at each other. Her mother’s face softened and she brushed a stray strand of her dark blond hair out of her eyes.

“It's just the way you looked at him,” she said, smoothing down the front of her blouse with her hands.

"I'm not sure about him, Mom. Like I said, it’s complicated,” she replied, snappily.

Valerie watched her mother shake her head and laugh. "You never change." Her mouth twisted for a second before she sighed. "You've always tried to have it all figured out. Sometimes you just need to let life happen, Valerie."

Valerie’s eyes fixed on the pale beige carpet, listening to her mother’s words. She was right. She generally was. It seemed like life happened to Valerie regardless and when she tried to plan it, it always turned out wrong. She wasn't sure what it would feel like to just go with it. It seemed scary especially when it came to Russell.

"Mom,” Valerie started.

“I know, I know,” her mother said, her smile returning for a moment before she walked out.

***

The quick shower Valerie took was such a luxury. She thought the water couldn’t get hot enough to wash away the previous day. Russell’s voice sounded down hall while she dressed and dried her hair in her bedroom. When she finally turned back around to the door after shutting off the loud hair dryer, she jumped when she saw Russell waiting for her. He was dressed in her father’s clothes. He had no doubt picked the black shirt to go with the dark jeans. A hand ran through her fresh hair and she took a moment to stare before turning back to the mirror of her vanity.

“You made quite the first impression," she said, pulling on an old pair of boots she found in her closet.

“George and Julia are wonderful people. You’re very lucky,” he replied.

Her eyes flitted to the window and she saw that a morning fog had rolled in. The sky was heather gray with rolling clouds and she imagined the smell of rain was hanging in the air. It was the kind of typical October day in Greensburg she’d been missing. The leaves were at their peak and even with the gloomy lack of light, she still cherished the vibrant colors of orange, red and gold hanging in the trees she’d been dreaming about lately. Russell had his eyes fixed outside as well and she saw the wonder on his face as he took it in. A smile overcame her while looking at him. He seemed so naïve and yet somehow wise. The combination was enthralling.

“May I ask you something?” he said in a low, timid voice.

She nodded and dragged a brush through her hair once more, keeping her hands busy. The feeling of his eyes on her was one she was starting to enjoy. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, folding one leg underneath him. He leaned toward her and his eyes became soft.