Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance (21 page)

"Really?" she asks with a doe-eyed stare.

"Would I ever lie to you?"

She meets his eyes and shakes her head emphatically.  Then she looks back up to the stars and whispers, "I miss you, Daddy."

I instantly tear up at her words, and I can see that Shelby Rae, Buddy and Colton are just as affected.

Buddy clears his throat and says, "What do you say about one last ride on the Ferris wheel before we leave?"

Lilly grabs his hand and says, "Yeah!"  She reaches out her other hand and says, "Come on, Mommy."

Once all three are out of sight, I turn to Colton.  "Who knew Buddy would be so great with kids?" I ask.

He shrugs.  "Not me.  I thought he'd be a bachelor for the rest of his life."

I grin as I think of the three of them being a little family.  "It's nice that he came into Shelby Rae's life when her and Lilly needed him the most."

"Fate," Colton whispers.

"Do you believe in fate?"

He shrugs again.  "I suppose I do.  It brought you to me twice now, didn't it?"

His words halt all other thoughts I had.  If he truly believes that, then maybe we do have a future together.  I had been so worried that I was a one-night stand or a friend with benefits that I never really considered the possibility of him wanting something more with me.  New hope blooms inside of me, and I cling to it desperately, never wanting to let it go.

"Do you want kids someday?" he asks.

I hesitate.  I want to say that I want kids with him, but I don't say the words aloud.  "Maybe.  Yeah," I say as nonchalantly as I can.  I have no idea how thin the thread is between having Colton and him pulling away again.  It always seems like we're walking on a fine edge when we're together.  I don't want to say or do anything to chase him off.

"How many?" he asks curiously.

"Two.  Maybe three."

"I'd like a big family.  Five or six."

"Five or six?" I exclaim.  Colton and I had talked about kids before in the past, but we were kids ourselves then.  We always said we wanted kids, but never spoke about how many.  Considering how closed off he was just weeks ago, I'm amazed he's even talking about this with me.  Maybe there's a future for us after all.

"Yeah.  Or more," he says with a smirk.

"Wow!" I say, shocked.  "Your wife is going to be barefoot and pregnant for a while."

"Maybe I'd like her that way."  He wraps his arms around me, briefly passing his hands over my tummy.  Is he imaging me pregnant with his child?  I don't dare ask.  I don't want to ruin the moment.

His hands venture further down, and I'm about to tell him we can't do this in public, when he reaches into my cotton candy bag and steals some of the blue that I love so much.  He shoves a big piece in his mouth, and I can't help but laugh at him.  He looks so young and carefree and for a moment it's easy to forget what he's gone through over the past five years.

"I haven't had cotton candy in forever," he reveals.

"Well, by all means," I say, handing the bag to him.

He takes it from me and shoves another big piece in his mouth, reminding me so much of Lilly.

With sugar still on his lips, he leans down and kisses me.  He tastes just like the sugary sweet dessert, and I can't help but moan.  "Cotton candy kisses are the best," I say, mimicking him from earlier.

He kisses me again and smiles.  "I agree."

*  *  *  *  *

IT'S LATE WHEN we leave the fair just as they're shutting all the rides down.  Colton and I walk hand in hand back to his house.  My heart is fluttering as we step up on the porch.  Should I kiss him goodnight and leave, or is he going to ask me to stay the night?  We've had such a dramatic shift in our relationship over the past few days that I can't even tell which way is up anymore.

He kisses me softly, sweetly as if he's in no rush at all to let me go...or maybe saying goodnight.  "Are you kissing me goodnight?" I ask, desperately needing to know if he wants me to stay.

He stares at me, and his gaze darkens.  "What did I tell you before?  You're mine tonight."

A shiver of excitement runs down my spine as he throws open the front door and pulls me in behind him.  In the matter of a few seconds, zippers are being unzipped, buttons are being undone, and our clothes are being thrown on the floor in a scattered heap.

Colton locks lips with me in a fevered kiss.  I can't help but wonder if it's always going to feel like this, like we can't get enough of each other.  I hope the answer is yes to that question.

I break off the kiss to ask, "Couch or bed?"

Colton's hands roam down my stomach and grip my thighs, pulling me against his growing erection.  "Couch is closer…but the bed is more comfortable."  He kisses me again, biting and pulling my bottom lip between his teeth.  "Decisions, decisions."

I reach between us and rub my hand up and down his thick length.  "Decide now, Colt.  I want to feel you inside of me."

He growls at my words, and suddenly hoists me up and over his shoulder.  Like a firefighter…or a total caveman, in this instance, he hauls me up to his bedroom.  He throws me down onto the mattress like a rag doll and stands at the edge of the bed.  His dark eyes boldly peruse my body, and the look in his eyes makes me tremble.

"You are so beautiful," he murmurs before crawling onto the bed between my legs.  "Beautiful.  And all mine."  He kisses me possessively, thrusting his tongue into my mouth, claiming me as his.  And I so badly want to be his.  Only his.

His erection digs into my thigh, and my hips undulate under him.  He's driving me crazy.  "Please, Colt," I beg when he finally breaks off the kiss.

He stares down at me with a big grin on his face.  "I like when you beg."  Then he kisses me some more, continuing to tease.  He moves his hips so that his cock lines up with my wet core.  Slowly and tortuously, he rocks back and forth, coating himself in my arousal and driving me nearly up the wall.

"Colt!" I cry out.

"Somethin' you want?" he asks with a wink.

"You.  Inside.  Now."  Oh, great.  Now I can't even form full sentences.  That's how crazy in lust I am with this man.  He reduces my brain to a puddle of gray mush every time I see him naked.

He steps back and digs through his drawer for a condom.  It seems to take forever until he's completely sheathed and back on top of me.  He kisses me sweetly and stares into my eyes as he enters me ever so slowly.

My fingernails bite into his shoulders as he makes love to me.  I can already feel my core clenching around him.  Even though we were just together last night, it feels like forever.  I'm quickly approaching the edge as he gently rocks into me.

"Colt," I whimper.

He leans down and kisses my cheek, trailing his lips along my jaw line and down my neck.  "Come for me, baby," he whispers against my breast before gently nipping at my skin.

A few more thrusts, and I'm falling over the edge in a downward spiral.  My fingernails dig into his back as I ride out wave after wave of pleasure.  I call out Colton's name as he picks up the pace, thrusting into me, dragging out my orgasm to an impossible length.

He growls as he suddenly stills above me, finding his own release.  "Fuck.  Yeah.  Penny."  He collapses on top of me, his arms wrapping around me, holding me close to him.  Our hearts beat frantically in an attempt to outrace one another.  "So good," he says before kissing me.  "It's always so damn good with you."

We lay there for a while, and I enjoy the blissful afterglow.  My hands caress his back as I wait until our breathing returns to normal and our hearts stop trying to beat out of our chests.

He gently pulls out of me and slowly stands up.  After he takes care of the condom, he climbs back into bed with me.  "Come here, beautiful," he says, patting the mattress beside him.

I smile at his words as I crawl to lie beside him.  He kisses the top of my head and sighs contentedly.  "I don't know what's goin' on between us, but I never want it to end," he confesses.

I stay calm on the outside, but inside I'm absolutely melting.  "I want that, too," I tell him.

He's quite for a long while before he finally speaks again.  "Penny…"  His voice trials off, and I can't help but wonder if he wants to say the three little words that he's been unable to utter before now.  But instead, he quickly says, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Colt."

It doesn't matter that he didn't tell me he loves me.  He'll tell me when he's ready.  I already know how he feels without him expressing it with words anyway.  I'm just glad to know that I have broken down a lot of his biggest barriers that were standing in the way.  And now that there's nothing standing in our way, maybe we can finally find some happiness together.

CHAPTER 18

PENNY

THE NEXT DAY, Colton and I stay in bed and make love several times into the late afternoon.  We leisurely explore each other, and every moment we share seems to bring us closer and closer together.  It finally feels like the pieces are falling into place for us.

After another round of mind-blowing sex, I settle down next to Colton on his bed.  He holds me tight, stroking my long hair with his fingertips.  "I think I could stay here all day like this," I say, sighing contentedly.

"Then stay."

"Buddy and Shelby will kill me if I bail on them on a Saturday night."  I sit up and look down at him.  "Are you gonna come into the bar later?"

"I have a better idea.  How about you meet me right here," he says with a sly grin while patting the mattress underneath us, "after you're done with work?"

I kiss his sweet lips and then say, "That sounds perfect."

I stand up; but before I can walk away, Colton grabs my hand and pulls me down for another kiss.  "I miss you already," he whispers against my mouth.

A smile spreads across my face, and I can feel the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.  As of this moment, I can't remember the last time I was so happy.  The bumpy road it took to get here was all worth it in the end, and I'm glad I stuck it out and never gave up.

I get dressed quickly with a big, goofy grin on my face.  All my trepidations about Colton went right out the window after this afternoon.  For the first time since I arrived back in town, I feel like I'm finally going to get my Colton back.  I know he could feel the love between us just as much as I could.  I could see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he touched me.  He made love to me like I was the most precious thing in his world.  And I'm starting to think that maybe I am.

"See you later," he calls as I leave his bedroom and venture back to my apartment.

I sigh when I close the door and glance at the clock hanging on the wall.  I'm going to be counting down the seconds of my shift until I can see him again.

Yep.  I'm deliriously in love with Colton James Crawford…again.

*  *  *  *  *

COLTON

I'M WAITIN' PATIENTLY for Penny to get off of work.  I cooked her a late dinner that I hope she'll like.  The casserole is keepin' warm in the oven.  The wine is poured, and I even placed a candle in between the two plates.  I'm usually not a romantic; but in this case, Penny is the ultimate exception.

A knock is at my front door, and my stomach does a flip. 
Penny.

I have to force myself not to run as I pull open the door with a big smile on my face.  My smile instantly fades, however, as I see Ruby Sue on my doorstep.  She's obviously been cryin' given the amount of mascara and black eyeliner runnin' down her cheeks.

"Colt," she whispers, her voice crackin'.  "Can I come in?"

I step aside and allow her to walk past me.  I promise myself not to let her stay for long.  I really want to see Penny tonight, and I don't need any complications screwin' it up.  I have a lot I want to talk to her about, includin' some things in my past that I never wanted to bring up until I met her.  I want to know what we were like together.  I want to know a lot of things, and only she can provide the details.  I'm officially breakin' my rule of not talkin' about the past.

"Are you okay?" I ask Ruby Sue as she helps herself to a seat on my couch.

She shakes her head vigorously as she sobs in a fistful of crumpled tissues.  "Tom broke up with me."

Her words catch me off guard.  So she's havin' boyfriend problems and decided to visit the guy she was sleepin' with to console her? 
Lord have mercy.
  I didn't even know she had a boyfriend or that she was sleepin' with anyone at the same time we were fuckin'.  Shakin' my head in disbelief, I ask, "Tom, your boss from the tattoo shop?"  Tom is the one who did my tribal tattoos.  Hell of a nice guy.  I just didn't know we were bangin' the same chick.  I guess we had more in common after all.

She nods, sobbin' harder.

Some guys can resist when a girl cries, but not me.  Tears are like Kryptonite to me.  They render me powerless.  And so I find myself sittin' down next to her, rubbin' her back in an attempt to calm her down.  "It's all right, Ruby Sue.  I'm sure he's not worth all this cryin'."  I guess that was the right thing to say.  I have no fuckin' clue.

"I feel like such an idiot for showing up here."  She looks up, wipin' away her streaked makeup with a ball of tissues.  "I didn't have anywhere else to go.  I'm sure you think I'm a whore now," she says, her voice breakin' with another gut-wrenchin' sob.

"No," I lie.  I wasn't exactly bein' totally honest with her about Penny, but at least I wasn't fuckin' both of them at the same time.  I haven't slept with Ruby Sue since before Penny got back into town.  It's not like I was cheatin' like Ruby Sue obviously was.  "I didn't realize you were seein' anybody else," I confess.

"I know.  I'm sorry.  I should have told you.  You just always said we weren't exclusive, so I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

Well, she's got me there.  I did tell her that.  Countless number of times.  But why did she act so damn jealous when Penny started workin' at the bar?  She made a damn show of stakin' her claim on me, but she obviously didn't extend me the same courtesy since she was fuckin' around behind my back.

"Can I use your bathroom?" she asks.

"Sure.  You know where it is."

I watch her disappear down the hall, and I lean back in the couch.  "Shit," I sigh out loud.  I need a beer.  Standin', I walk to the fridge and get out two bottles of beer, figurin' that she probably could use one too.  Penny should be here any minute.  I'm already plottin' in my head what I'm goin' to tell her.  Ruby Sue just dropped by.  Nothin' happened.  And nothin' is ever goin' to happen.  She's just here as a friend.  Surely Penny would understand.  I mean, Penny was hangin' out with Tucker even when she obviously had feelings for me.  She has to see where I'm comin' from…right?

I put one of the bottles on the coffee table and take a seat on the couch again.  A few minutes later, Ruby Sue emerges from the bathroom certainly lookin' more put together.  Her eyes are all bloodshot and puffy and her nose is red, but other than that, she looks okay.  "Feelin' better?" I ask her.

She nods and takes the bottle of beer with a small
thank you
.

We drink our beers in silence for a while, and pretty soon we're on our third.  I glance at the clock on the wall.  Penny should have been here by now.  Maybe she's not comin'.  A feelin' of dread fills my gut when I think about not seein' her tonight.  I want to see her every day and every night.  It's messed up how lonely I am when she's not around.  I don't even know when exactly I fell for her, but I did.  Hard.

"Need another?" Ruby Sue asks as she finishes off her bottle.

"Sure."

She walks into the kitchen, and I sit up with my elbows restin' on my knees.  I know I shouldn't be drinkin' this much around her, but it's givin' us somethin' to do.  I don't wanna touch her and I don't wanna talk, so this is my only option really.  I'm just hopin' Penny comes over soon, so she can help me figure out what to do with this situation.

Ruby Sue comes back with our fourth brews for the night.  Instead of handin' me the beer, she puts both bottles down on the coffee table.  Then, before I can blink, she's straddlin' my lap and kissin' me.  At first, I don't know how to react.  The damn alcohol is definitely delayin' my response time.  I know she's hurtin', and I don't want to hurt her further, but all I can think of is Penny.  Slowly, I grab her arms and force her back a few inches.  "Ruby Sue, we shouldn't be doin' this.  You're upset."

"That's exactly why I need you, Colt," she whispers. 

She tries to get out of my grasp to get closer to me, but I hold her at a distance.  "I can't do this with you."  Gently, I push her over onto another cushion and stand up.  "I don't want to keep doin' whatever the hell it is we're doin'."

"Fine.  But please don't make me go home, Colt.  I don't want to be alone right now."

I can't make her leave after she's been drinkin'.  The night that took Connor's life flickers in the back of my mind.  Drunks have no business bein' on the road.  Connor wouldn't have died that night if that driver wouldn't have been drunk.  Not wantin' to be responsible for her gettin' hurt or hurtin' someone else, I nod.  I'm not goin' to touch her, but I'm not kickin' her out either.

I sit on the opposite side of the couch, sippin' my beer.  I thought Penny would come by or at least call.  I'm disappointed that I haven't seen or heard from her, and that makes me want to drink more.  What if she isn't feelin' the same things I'm feelin' for her?  What if what we've shared together didn't mean as much as I thought it did?

Shakin' the doubts from my thoughts, I listen to Ruby Sue as she tells me all about her problems.  Before I know it, I've drunk eight beers and it's almost midnight.

"Ruby Sue, you're welcome to take the couch, but I'm goin' up to bed."  I go into the closet and get her out a pillow and a sheet.  I place them on the couch, and she puts her hand over mine before I can turn away.

"Thank you, Colt."

I give her a smile and say goodnight.  Then I practically run up the steps to my bedroom and close the door.  I know we'll both feel better in the mornin' after we sleep it off.  I crash on my bed and breathe in Penny's scent left there from earlier today.  Just thinkin' about me between her legs gets me rock hard.  I can't wait to touch her and make love to her again.  I want her to know how much she means to me.  Even if I never remember who she was or what we were, I want to know her now.  I want her in my life now…and forever.

Seein' Penny gettin' upset about Connor the other day made me realize that I'm not the only one who lost my family.  My parents were like a second mom and dad to her, and Connor was like a little brother.  Knowin' that she lost them and misses them too makes me suddenly feel less angry.  And knowin' that I have another person to share my grief with makes me feel not so alone.  And it's been a long time since I haven't felt so damn alone.  Penny gives me hope for a future that's full of love, and I can't wait to get a second chance at life with her.

I go to sleep with a smile on my face and dreamin' about Penny.

My
Penny.

*  *  *  *  *

PENNY

AFTER WORK, I hurry to my apartment to shower and quickly make up my face and do my hair.  I stare at myself in the mirror, in absolute awe at the smile that hasn't left my face in the past few hours.  I'm happy, deliriously so.  I have Colton to thank for that.  And I can think of a million ways to thank him…starting tonight.

I slide into a tight, sexy, black dress and slip on my highest heels before making my way to Colton's house.  Underneath my dress is the sexiest lingerie I own, and I can't wait to see the look on Colton's face when he sees my little surprise.  I'm runnin' a little late, but I don't think he'll mind when he sees what I have planned for him.

My steps falter, however, as I near the top of the hill.  I see a familiar Ford Mustang sitting in Colton's driveway.  My fingernails dig into my palms as I force myself to walk the rest of the way.  What would Ruby Sue be doing at Colton's house at this time of night?

I keep thinking of all the plausible excuses for why she's there over and over again in my head until I reach the front porch.  But all of the excuses go right out the window when I look through the screen door.  Colton is sitting on the couch in the living room, and Ruby Sue is in his lap.  Their lips are locked in a fierce kiss.

It takes my brain a few moments to process what's happening.  My stomach somersaults violently, filling me with dread.  I slowly step backwards, almost tumbling down the porch steps.  I grasp onto the railing and hold on for dear life.  A sob almost escapes my throat, but I clasp a hand over my mouth before it can surface.  Quietly, I stagger down the steps, cursing the high heels I decided to wear.

Once I'm at the bottom on solid ground, I pull off my shoes…and then I run.  And I don't stop running until I'm back inside my apartment.

Pressing my back against the door, I try to catch my breath.  My chest rises and falls with quick pants as my brain is still processing what I just saw.  Colton and Ruby Sue were making out…hours after he and I slept together.  How could he betray me like that?  Why?

The rational part of me decides to wait until she leaves so that he can explain himself.  Maybe it's not what it looks like.  Maybe she threw herself at him.  I'll let him explain the situation…and then I'll decide whether he's a no-good, cheating, lying asshole or not.

My hands tremble as I make a pot of coffee.  I'm only making it to give myself something to concentrate on.  Otherwise, I might just completely break down.  My thoughts are scattered as the scent of the coffee fills my kitchen.  If Colton cheated on me, I would never be able to forgive him.  We've reached a defining point in our relationship.  It's not just the friend zone.  We have had sex.  The dynamic is completely different now.  Sure, before he was dating Ruby Sue, but that was before we began this new kind of relationship.  And besides, Colton told me he stopped sleeping with Ruby Sue the moment I got back into town.  But now I'm wondering…was that a lie?  Has he been lying this entire time to me?